FabSwingers.com forum: Looking for some advice

By *ere4It3000 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Belgium

Hey all,

So there’s this one question I have in particular..

In the past I’ve felt like I’m abit abnormal for it, or that something is wrong with me.

Fingering/oral doesn’t make me cum

Pure penetration doesn’t make me cum

I always need extra clit stimulation by myself either with my hands or a toy and when my partners try, it doesn’t work, even after taking lots of time for it.. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I feel like I’m hard work 😆.

I do enjoy sexytime and have orgasms and my partner and me just know this is how it works for us, I just would love to have moments where I don’t always need to intervene myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thought about seeing someone to discuss this..

And I’m aware that this also might just be the way it is. Is this more common than I think it is?

Thinking about this more again recently regarding to meeting new people…

Would appreciate other women to share something here x thank u

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

I think it's more common than you think. Nobody knows your body better than you. There's so much pressure put on women to be multi orgasmic, squirt, gush, orgasm from penetration, orgasm hanging from a helicopter while singing god save the king. Just be happy that you experience that pleasure without worrying how you achieve it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ries AngelWoman
5 weeks ago

Bournemouth

I thought I was the only one who felt like that! Your sentence ‘I fell like I’m hard work’ resonated with me because I feel the same. I feel like I reply on toys too much.

I think sometimes we get in our heads too much and we have that little voice in the background telling us we are never going to cum when we should actually just be going with the flow and enjoying ourselves!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

Are you using hormonal contraception? Also you are not 'hard work'. Don't use that phrase about yourself or let anyone else use it about you. You need what you need.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ere4It3000 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Belgium

"Are you using hormonal contraception? Also you are not 'hard work'. Don't use that phrase about yourself or let anyone else use it about you. You need what you need."

Thank you for the comments!! Lol indeed there’s certainly some kind of expectation from others but it’s not really that I’m most bothered about, it’s not really about “peer pressure” but more about how I’d like it myself sometimes..

And no, I’m on no anticonception at all for several years now. Which is another topic that’s stil to lead to many more conversations 😊

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ere4It3000 OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Belgium

"I thought I was the only one who felt like that! Your sentence ‘I fell like I’m hard work’ resonated with me because I feel the same. I feel like I reply on toys too much.

Awh happy to hear I’m not the only one, although happy might not be the right word to use haha. Indeed one of the main things is to enjoy in the moment and I definitely can at moments, so the issue is not because I’m mentally not there. But for many it probably is.. i just wonder, what is the issue in my case? 😆

Hope you are well and thanks for responding x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Are you using hormonal contraception? Also you are not 'hard work'. Don't use that phrase about yourself or let anyone else use it about you. You need what you need.

And no, I’m on no anticonception at all for several years now. Which is another topic that’s stil to lead to many more conversations 😊

You might find that over the years you change (you might not too lol).

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aomilatteCouple
5 weeks ago

Midlands

"Hey all,

So there’s this one question I have in particular..

In the past I’ve felt like I’m abit abnormal for it, or that something is wrong with me.

Fingering/oral doesn’t make me cum

Pure penetration doesn’t make me cum

I do enjoy sexytime and have orgasms and my partner and me just know this is how it works for us, I just would love to have moments where I don’t always need to intervene myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thought about seeing someone to discuss this..

And I’m aware that this also might just be the way it is. Is this more common than I think it is?

Thinking about this more again recently regarding to meeting new people…

Would appreciate other women to share something here x thank u "

What you've describing is fairly normal. Don't believe everything you read on here about people being so multi orgasmic, because most of it is simply not true. There's a lot of fantasy posted online.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ony-JonesMan
5 weeks ago

Gillingham

Hi, should try and magic wand x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obboMan
5 weeks ago

Lincoln

"Hey all,

So there’s this one question I have in particular..

In the past I’ve felt like I’m abit abnormal for it, or that something is wrong with me.

Fingering/oral doesn’t make me cum

Pure penetration doesn’t make me cum

I do enjoy sexytime and have orgasms and my partner and me just know this is how it works for us, I just would love to have moments where I don’t always need to intervene myself 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thought about seeing someone to discuss this..

And I’m aware that this also might just be the way it is. Is this more common than I think it is?

Thinking about this more again recently regarding to meeting new people…

Would appreciate other women to share something here x thank u "

I know im not a woman but I've been with a few women who have done this. I tried to pull their hand away as I wanted to be in control and pleasure them and it felt like I was cheating but they explained the same thing as you have. I think its relatively common xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

We're all individuals. The key thing is to learn what works for you and what doesn't, and communicate that with any partners.

Don't be swayed by anyone that says 'oh, you just haven't met the right person yet' or 'don't worry, I can guarantee to make you cum'. Nobody knows you better than you and letting them try and convince you otherwise is pointless and will just increase any frustration you have and will also encourage them to 'try harder'.

Sex is a journey, not a start/finish process. Enjoy the ride, do what you're comfortable with and not things you aren't, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with including any toys or other stimulation that will provide the pleasure you want. It's what they were invented for and doesn't make you any less of a person if they're required to orgasm.

And any guy that feels in some way inferior because their partner needs artificial stimulation to orgaam needs to give their head a wobble and stop thinking it's all about them.

Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rinceless PrincessWoman
5 weeks ago

Gloucester

It’s actually quite common. I can’t cum unless I have clit stimulation. There are a lot of women who can’t cum without it so please don’t worry op,

I’ve found using my wand during penetration helps.

I still enjoy fingering and oral (as long as it’s done right) as a build up. But when it’s time for the main event I make sure to have a toy to hand. Sometimes I give my partner a little buzz with it too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread