FabSwingers.com forum: Play meet arranged.. Question for the guys

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As I am starting to lose interest now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would expect some communication.. The build up to a meet is one of the most exciting/horniest things ever

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I will admit that, when a meet has been arranged in advance I probably won't message until nearer the date, but I will have swapped texts by then and sent a couple to check the number is correct.

Send him a 'how are you? I'm looking forward to seeing you' message in a couple of days. If he doesn't reply to that (and he's been online!) then you may have a fantasist. Otherwise don't worry.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm not looking for romance and frankly I'd be put off and pissed off if I was bombarded with text: I don't meet the needy.

A weekly message is enough, but that's what works for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would expect him to have some correspondents with you, you abbot just turn up and expectant play

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I don't like needy/clingy, a million messages a day types, but on the other hand I like a bit of a flirt and a tease leading up to a play meet. Exchange a few naughty pics, etc.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No I don't want clingy messages etc but maybe a few teasing ones to keep me interested

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I forgot to add would like ladies input as well x

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By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

That's why I often insist folks have Yahoo or MSN Messenger. Guys often fancy the idea. Then as soon as the "urge" cums and goes. The desire to open that front door,soon ebbs away...

Until that is...

The urge comes back ..

And it will...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would expect some communication.. The build up to a meet is one of the most exciting/horniest things ever

Yes I agree , I have another play with someone else and lots of sexy texts which are turning us both on

But this other guy is not making any effort

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He's been online a lot , even at same time as me !!

Oh well his loss if he can't be bothered to send a few raunchy messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im the same, i like a bit of flirty banter leading up to it. Otherwise i dont feel any chemistry when we meet it just feels too cold.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Im the same, i like a bit of flirty banter leading up to it. Otherwise i dont feel any chemistry when we meet it just feels too cold. "

Phew , I was beginning to think I was the only one who liked flirty banter

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Think I would have to flirt a bit .. even done a count down. To meets .. gotta keep the lady interested .. here's the proof boys .. take good note.. I'd have to chat every chance I could x

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By *avindaWoman
over a year ago

North Wales

"Im the same, i like a bit of flirty banter leading up to it. Otherwise i dont feel any chemistry when we meet it just feels too cold.

Phew , I was beginning to think I was the only one who liked flirty banter

I like it as well. Its all part of the excitement and getting to know what each person expects from the meet. Such fun and such a turn on.

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By *allDarkFoxForYouMan
over a year ago

Winchester/London

I think if he's genuine he'd be exchanging a few erotic messages prior to the meet.

Seems a bit clinical if the date is arranged and there's no contact prior to it.

Pre match mental foreplay via messages/talking is a winner with me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if he's genuine he'd be exchanging a few erotic messages prior to the meet.

Seems a bit clinical if the date is arranged and there's no contact prior to it.

Pre match mental foreplay via messages/talking is a winner with me."

Thankyou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

"
his loss most guys would crawl over broken glass for a meet x

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By *allDarkFoxForYouMan
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"I think if he's genuine he'd be exchanging a few erotic messages prior to the meet.

Seems a bit clinical if the date is arranged and there's no contact prior to it.

Pre match mental foreplay via messages/talking is a winner with me.

Thankyou

You're more than welcome and I hope the meet proves a success

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't say in your post op whether or not you've been messaging HIM!

If you have, and he's not replied, then maybe he has lost interest. If you haven't, why? Or is it always the blokes that have to initiate the conversation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

Personally, i would like a build up to the date of play..maybe teasing texts, seductive words etc etc i wouldnt just expect to turn up and find her all horny for you...i prefer the animalistic behaviour when meeting lol

I find that naughty texts before the day you meet enhance your desire for each other

...then again, im old fashioned lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Just goes to show how different we all are. There's a thread going called "quick meets" where people claim to meet and fuck within one hour of sending a message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If neither of you have sent message try sending on mind you if it was me and he hadn't bothered the message I would send is don't bother bye ,if ne is interested they should let you know I like to talk a fair bit before a meet it helps build up the excitement. Good luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This riles me ...

I like conversation and some rapport with them. If they go quiet and then the day before say ' are we still on for tomorrow' I do always answer that I thought they had lost interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not looking for romance and frankly I'd be put off and pissed off if I was bombarded with text: I don't meet the needy.

A weekly message is enough, but that's what works for me. "

My thoughts exactly. I'm here for sex not marriage.

If I get bombarded with messages it puts me right off my stroke!

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By *coobysMan
over a year ago

north west lancs

Not my opinion as I think you do look good and would be happy to meet you and I would out of courtesy answer a message or make contact once or twice pre meeting.

However this guy and his loss might have met you for coffee and then thought I don't want to have fun, sorry I think he is mad but he may well have got cold feet hence no replies. Kick him in touch and get someone who will treat you right you deserve that.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Why is that whenever a woman or a couple post a question you get loads of guys saying "I wouldn't do that, I'd do *insert whatever they think the woman/couple want to hear*"

It's so bloody transparent

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I see the pre meet messaging as part of it all. Remind the dude and if he's still uncommunicative....plenty more who are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope if he cant be bothered to keep your interest then why should you make the effort.

Im the sort of person that stays in touch right up to the meet and after if i want a repeat.

Everyone ive met if its been a couple of weeks running up to it has always stayed in touch via the odd txt during a day it doesn't really take long.

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By *uschmanMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

I think a few messages are essential. I like a meeting to be as much about the mental as the physical.

So a few teasing messages just set the atmosphere. I don't give up all my plans in advance though...

and I do tend to go quiet 24 hours in advance as I've tended to start anticipating the fun that is just around the corner

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

OK, so the OP isn't meeting until the 24th, yet the poor guy is supposed to be messaging her every day or else he's going to be a no show?

Yes, he should message, and reply to messages, but he's got 10 days to do so! Don't give up on him yet!!

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

I think there should be some contact from him a few naughty texts a bit of banter,when I meet fems,I like to keep them interested and give them something to look forward to,my wife did the same,but she no longer doing solo meets at moment,if people don't send a message every now and again we take it they are not really interested,good luc and have fun with your meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally i would hate to have lots of messages sent me once the meet is organised. Just a couple of messges nearer the time would be fine for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if he's genuine he'd be exchanging a few erotic messages prior to the meet.

Seems a bit clinical if the date is arranged and there's no contact prior to it.

Pre match mental foreplay via messages/talking is a winner with me."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"OK, so the OP isn't meeting until the 24th, yet the poor guy is supposed to be messaging her every day or else he's going to be a no show?

Yes, he should message, and reply to messages, but he's got 10 days to do so! Don't give up on him yet!!"

I don't expect daily messages at all , heard from him sat which is fine , but before we arranged the play date he messaged me every day , but now stopped

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"OK, so the OP isn't meeting until the 24th, yet the poor guy is supposed to be messaging her every day or else he's going to be a no show?

Yes, he should message, and reply to messages, but he's got 10 days to do so! Don't give up on him yet!!"

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By *sprey6Man
over a year ago

Here!

Mars Venus lol. Have you told him? He might have been told in the past he was messaging to muchby a lady. Let him know before you hang him lol xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

"
fuck me I've seen your pics I would be sending you flowers and txts to make sure I did get to meet you

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"Mars Venus lol. "

Or dating v swinging lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience, radio silence before a meet usually means the guy is going to bottle out, especially if there had been fairly regular contact previously. Hope I'm wrong on this occasion! Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience, radio silence before a meet usually means the guy is going to bottle out, especially if there had been fairly regular contact previously. Hope I'm wrong on this occasion! Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps its best to treat each potential meet as individual and ask them what level of communication is ok.. that way there are expectations set and understood.

Maube i should change my nickname to Berty Flanter? Lol....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You still have not said if you have sent him any messages, this is not a date site so you shouldn't expect flowers and constant communication. Certainly shouldn't expect him to know that is what you want unless you have told him, he may well be holding back for fear of doing the wrong thing, may well run a mile if your messages look like you are after a relationship rather than a bit of fun.

Send him a sexy flirty message see what happens. Don't forget he may well be sorting through lots of messages each day, and have a dozen meets between now and your meet!

More likely he has lost a meet through being over keen in the past and is playing it cool this time.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I think it works as a good filter. If you are bombarded by farcebookesque status updates:

"I just got up"

"I'm having a shit"

"I'm having muesli for breakfast"

etc. etc.

You then have the chance to cancel a bit quick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi just to give another mans viewpoint, I always find a few flirty, suggestive mails helps to get both the lady and I in the mood. Its almost foreplay to suggest a few starting moves, ideas and you may find out what the lady is wanting or expecting ....so when your hand slowly caresses her thigh rising to her firm bum she is half expecting it and looking forward to being pulled firmly closer...

Just my thoughts seem to set the scene for me and the ladies I have met so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OK, so the OP isn't meeting until the 24th, yet the poor guy is supposed to be messaging her every day or else he's going to be a no show?

Yes, he should message, and reply to messages, but he's got 10 days to do so! Don't give up on him yet!!

I don't expect daily messages at all , heard from him sat which is fine , but before we arranged the play date he messaged me every day , but now stopped

"
With the exception of one special guy, Ive had this happen to me and ive been like you too worried whether to message here or text if you have their mobile no in case they feel you are being too clingy. I think one text to him saying maybe hi how are you? hopefully he will reply then you can take it from there. Good luck hope it goes well for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou everyone for your various replies , I will send him a flirtatious message ... I did send one of my stories to him which is on the story forum ,( how I would like a meet ) and was told nice story but I'm tired :-/

I was hoping for him to reciprocate !

So I have been very flirtatious and poss too too sexy and scared him off

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

tbh i would move on and find someone who will give you what you want from a meet ie naughty texts, the odd chat and the build up to the meet which is a huge part of the fun

its not as if your short of choice on here

unless he is your dream fantasy perfect guy and you just want to shag him and your prepared to put up with his shortcomings

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"tbh i would move on and find someone who will give you what you want from a meet ie naughty texts, the odd chat and the build up to the meet which is a huge part of the fun

its not as if your short of choice on here

unless he is your dream fantasy perfect guy and you just want to shag him and your prepared to put up with his shortcomings"

Yes I agree , kinda got disappointed with his very flat reaction to my very raunchy message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"tbh i would move on and find someone who will give you what you want from a meet ie naughty texts, the odd chat and the build up to the meet which is a huge part of the fun

its not as if your short of choice on here

unless he is your dream fantasy perfect guy and you just want to shag him and your prepared to put up with his shortcomings

Yes I agree , kinda got disappointed with his very flat reaction to my very raunchy message

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"tbh i would move on and find someone who will give you what you want from a meet ie naughty texts, the odd chat and the build up to the meet which is a huge part of the fun

its not as if your short of choice on here

unless he is your dream fantasy perfect guy and you just want to shag him and your prepared to put up with his shortcomings

Yes I agree , kinda got disappointed with his very flat reaction to my very raunchy message

"
think most guys on here would like a raunchy message, naughty texts etc

wouldnt chase the guy its his loss

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

fuck me I've seen your pics I would be sending you flowers and txts to make sure I did get to meet you

Flowers !! Lmao , as long as they were freesias

Don't need flowers lovely , I just to be made special for a few hours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

Cold feet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"his loss most guys would crawl over broken glass for a meet x"

I wouldn't but then again I can meet girls in real life . Had no luck here but then I am the time of life grown up kids good job plenty of free time to go out. No problem getting a girl in real life

I take the opinion if the girl isn't chasing me move on find someone else who is willing to spend time with me . There are plenty out there and most girls you meet in a pub or club are a lot less hassle And more likely to put out on first meeting than any woman trying to meet here and 9 times out of 10 they do the washing up in the morning

Plenty more rats in the sewer as they say

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

"Im the same, i like a bit of flirty banter leading up to it. Otherwise i dont feel any chemistry when we meet it just feels too cold. "

Totally agree and those type of meets dont work for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't say in your post op whether or not you've been messaging HIM!

If you have, and he's not replied, then maybe he has lost interest. If you haven't, why? Or is it always the blokes that have to initiate the conversation?"

Exactly...he might be thinking the exact same thing you are...she's not sent a message since we arranged the play meet so has she lost interest. Or he may not want to start sending messages and have you tell him to back off. Think sending a 'how are you' message as has been said would be beneficial and see what the reaction is. Does take two to tango!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thankyou everyone for your various replies , I will send him a flirtatious message ... I did send one of my stories to him which is on the story forum ,( how I would like a meet ) and was told nice story but I'm tired :-/

I was hoping for him to reciprocate !

So I have been very flirtatious and poss too too sexy and scared him off

Sorry...replied without reading the full thread! If he hasn't responded and doesn't in the run up to the meet then maybe he has lost interest. Or if he hasn't had many meets maybe he's nervous and doesn't know how to react to a dirtier message. Go with your gut though and if you think he's not interested then leave it at that x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it drives me mad that some don't bother to put any effort in x

I'm meant to have a meet today but haven't heard a thing since Sunday....... Its not hard to send the odd message, but some men just don't bother

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By *ewlySingleMaleMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I arranged a meet but then didn't want to pester the lady, so purposely didn't contact her until a col of days before.

Luckily I did as she had been thinking the same as the OP and had thought I was a no show ! Once we had sorted that out though we still had a great night.

I am not saying that is what happened here as the OP has tried to keep contact going, just explaining why some people might not be as communicative as expected.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok peeps this is what I wrote .. Ps bob is my vibe

A very short description of how I like a meet to go )

Imagine my hard nips in you mouth , rolling your tongue over the bumpy ness .. I kneel down before you and lick your hardness , my tongue swirling and licking your pre cum ... My tongue slides down your shaft towards your balls , sucking and nibbling xxx

gently suck on your balls , you feel my warm mouth around them ... I then place my mouth over the end of your cock , sucking and sliding my lips up and down its length , slowly and firmly ... Your breathing deepens as it goes in deeper and deeper . Your fingers play with my nips then move gently to my honeypot , slippery and hot your fingers slide inside , first one then the second .. You try and find the spot and rub it making me moan with pleasure , the sounds of my moans you feel against your cock .You are rock hard now and plead to be inside me ... You lie back and gently I sit on your cock inch by inch it disappears ... I ride you , in gentle rhythm again and again ... Then I pull out .. I sit on your face , your lips and tongue darting in and around my swollen clit and tissues .. Getting wetter and wetter .

Your fingers deep in me and your cock in my mouth we fuck each other until I am ready for bob ... Bob goes on , my hips rise and fall , moaning your fingers fucking me as he vibrates , your mouth sucking my nips .... Breathing more and more heavily , I stop for a second and let the orgasm rip thru my body , your fingers trapped by my muscles .. You feel me coming , you see me coming , you hear me coming .. My body arches and all muscles tighten for a few mins .. Then they relax and then you enter me , going as fast and deep as you can .. I grip your buttocks and pull you in deeper and deeper ... Then you. Cum .. I watch your face as you cum , your eyes wide and full of passion at that moment ..

You shudder as you cum , your seeds dry , perspiration dripping onto my face ... You keep moving and my fanny squeezes every last drop from you .... Both of us spent we giggle and laugh and relax in the afterglow xxx

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By *teve CDMan
over a year ago

hull villages

they must be daft for not keeping in touch its hard enough for single guy to get a meet on here

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"Ok peeps this is what I wrote .. Ps bob is my vibe

A very short description of how I like a meet to go )

i can see the bloke thinking feck me i only want a shag

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I see the bloke thinking feck me i only want a shag

Lmao

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By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire

I was hoping for him to reciprocate !

So I have been very flirtatious and poss too too sexy and scared him off

It's hard work messaging someone you haven't looked in the eye, you don't know what sort of life they lead away from here, how they tick from day-to-day.

Personally, I have a business to run, and haven't really got time to be replying to messages which say "How are you?"

Erm, down tools lads, hold on, I need to just send some important mail..."Very well thank you." Now, do you mind if I continue with this million pound job that has to be done by THIS weekend?

I wouldn't slate this chap just yet, maybe he's juggling his life so that he's free for your meet with no distractions.

When it comes to timewasters, I think I'm more wary of people who want to keep you simmering on the edge for weeks, via "sexy" stories etc (which,even with the best will in the world, are not going to be winning the Booker Prize any time soon). IME, they tend to be the ones whose Aunt dies the night before a meet, but they can reschedule for 4 weeks time. Hmmm, OK, well, how about asking if I'm free in 3 and a half weeks then?

What do you want him to do when he reads your story? Drop his pants and rub one out there and then, or do you want him to stay hard till you meet? Stories, like sexy talk, for me personally, can be stimulating in the moment, but excruciatingly tedious weeks away from any possible progression. Like he said "Hmmm, yeah, nice story". And?

Teasing and flirting creates a peak, the trick is not to start the build up weeks away and then expect the other party to be at the peak at the end of the month. Lots of men don't work that way! They may well be down the other side by then.

Let's face it, the longer the anticipation, the bigger disappointment it may all be anyway, and the epic shag-fest you are expecting might turn out to be a two-pump jump - he's been

Don't write him off just yet, and have a good time when you do meet him.

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By *uthTVDerbysTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

Ok. That's enough preamble, conjecture and subjectivity for now...lets all wait til AFTER the 24th. Meantime if you can send the chap a message along the lines of "Are you still there?" "Have you lost Internet onnnecton." "If I don't hear from you by next weekend Im presuming the meet is off" - that to be grrat.

Phone this has been of some help ..thanks

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Damn it, just bin him off and come and see us hunni pmsl

xxxxxxx

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

Once we have arranged a meet then to be honest we don't tend to make contact until a couple of days before just to double check things are still ok.

If we kept getting messages saying things like I/we are going to do such and such to you....Or how are you messages every day would bore the pants off me! Don't get me wrong like a bit flirting but actions speak louder than words as they say....

But just goes to show we all have different approaches.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

Based purely on what you have posted here (cos we don't know the gent in question or his circumstances! ) I would interpret it as follows

He's looking for a shag

He's now got a shag organised

That's what you are to him - a shag

And he'll meet you as arranged

Or then again maybe he won't turn up

OUCH

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have met , had coffee and I know about his life and work

)

I do understand flirtatious buildup and most chaps I have met are more than happy to reciprocate once we have made a date to play .

Am not completely writing him off as he is a lovely guy but just don't think the spark is there ...

Am going to message a less flirty mail today and see if he is still interested .

Thanks x

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By *rs and Mr PandoraCouple
over a year ago

LUTTERWORTH

"Im the same, i like a bit of flirty banter leading up to it. Otherwise i dont feel any chemistry when we meet it just feels too cold.

Phew , I was beginning to think I was the only one who liked flirty banter

Not alone ,we like to tease and flirt discuss the things we may do. Even discuss clothing I (miss p) may or may not wear

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"OK, so the OP isn't meeting until the 24th, yet the poor guy is supposed to be messaging her every day or else he's going to be a no show?

Yes, he should message, and reply to messages, but he's got 10 days to do so! Don't give up on him yet!!

I don't expect daily messages at all , heard from him sat which is fine , but before we arranged the play date he messaged me every day , but now stopped

You say you don't want daily messages but you heard from him Saturday and today is only Tuesday. Yet your thinking he has already lost interest because you haven't heard from him in 3 days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would always be charming, and romantically wooing the lady up to the date of play ... and thereafter too.

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right gonna stop this thread now , its been really helpful to see it from every angle and appreciate everyone's point of view , male and female .Thankyou all for your input .. First time I have had this experience , so will let you know next weekend how it all pans out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont think i'd be expecting wooing as this sounds more like a date rather than a swing meet, but a couple of flirty messages to know he's still keen would be the norm I think. I agree with the other poster who said send him one and see if he responds - if not it does look like you have a fantacist rather than a genuine player. good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dont think i'd be expecting wooing as this sounds more like a date rather than a swing meet, but a couple of flirty messages to know he's still keen would be the norm I think. I agree with the other poster who said send him one and see if he responds - if not it does look like you have a fantacist rather than a genuine player. good luck x

I didn't mean wooing in the sense of a date thing , just a few horny messages to keep the anticipation going .

It's not a prob now as he hasn't got day off , despite agreeing the day and asked me to keep it free for him in case he did get day off .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all banter and sexy flirting is always great as you can get into what eaxh other are into rather than jumping in blind. Not talking about hundreds of messages a day but a but if flirting builds tensions.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not at all banter and sexy flirting is always great as you can get into what eaxh other are into rather than jumping in blind. Not talking about hundreds of messages a day but a but if flirting builds tensions. "

Yes , I agree

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

few filthy messages to know what his tastes are - that would be my preference, but everyone is different.

Hope it goes well OP

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch

In honesty why were you waiting for his message,every mam here knows women are inundated with messages and will reply if interested.

Taking thread at face value if a meet was week away I'd chill for a couple of days then test water, hoping for a couple of days of naughty teasey chat just before event x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In honesty why were you waiting for his message,every mam here knows women are inundated with messages and will reply if interested.

Taking thread at face value if a meet was week away I'd chill for a couple of days then test water, hoping for a couple of days of naughty teasey chat just before event x"

I was just about to post similar.

I've not read all posts in this thread, have you messaged him? He may be thinking similarly to yourself, as quoted here, many guys realise women can be overwhelmed with messages and so not wanting to put you off appearing clingy he may well be waiting either for you to message or closer to the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

I would woo and keep the interest going. It's only polite if you have a play meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally would find lack of messages and contact before a meet a real turn off especially after a social. I like guys to flirt and chat with me leading up to a meet. Talk about what we want to do and our likes and dislikes. I also like a guy to show interest

I like to know the guy is looking forward to meet and can't wait to have me

I'd be quite upset for a guy to go quiet and is likely question meeting him.

That's just my opinion and know others feel differently but I quite like a guy who likes to flatter me and be slightly obsessive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he's not giving you the attention you need then he isn't worth your time, there's plenty of other men on here who will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/13 18:15:46]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In honesty why were you waiting for his message,every mam here knows women are inundated with messages and will reply if interested.

Taking thread at face value if a meet was week away I'd chill for a couple of days then test water, hoping for a couple of days of naughty teasey chat just before event x"

I had messaged him , am not sitting here waiting for him to message me , but the flurry of messages stopped after we had arranged the play .

So just a bit perplexed that's all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/05/13 18:16:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like he isn't that bothered to be honest I like the build up to okay x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes..bit of a build up is always good!if the meet has been arranged that far ahead..i would at least make contact just to make sure things are still ok..its really a matter of manners and common sense..there..soap box over!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would expect some communication.. The build up to a meet is one of the most exciting/horniest things ever

I agree , this is the main reason for myself . Otherwise I would stick to meeting women out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also see someone who behaves likes this. I wonder if once he has secured your interest and the play date is made, perhaps he feels that the hard work is done and he can relax a little. I agree that it is disconcerting if he ignores you when you are both online but I also think, that although the build up to a first date is thrilling, it can be difficult to maintain for longer than a few days. It's not nice not knowing where you stand with someone though and you can't help but wonder if they have lost interest. A flirty hello wouldn't go amiss. Tough one - but ultimately if that's his m.o, you take it or leave it. Hope your date goes well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd stay in touch, 'touch base' before touching base so to speak. But I'm of the opinion; it it's agreed it's agreed, I've said I'm coming, we agreed when, so constant communication isn't needed; it's just friendly.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Damned if you do (desperate/clingy) and damned if you don't (lost interest/wind up).

Personally I would expect a check in. If not I send one. If there's no reply to it or its left unread even when they've been online I start looking for a new meet.

I'm not here to socialize and make friends. Have enough if that in my real life.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I'm not looking for romance and frankly I'd be put off and pissed off if I was bombarded with text: I don't meet the needy.

A weekly message is enough, but that's what works for me. "

Agreed. I'll usually send one message just to double check/ re-affirm plans as the meet draws closer, but that's about it.

It is hard enough gauging the proper protocol in such situations without giving the impression of neediness or pushiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If he's not giving you the attention you need then he isn't worth your time, there's plenty of other men on here who will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In honesty why were you waiting for his message,every mam here knows women are inundated with messages and will reply if interested.

Taking thread at face value if a meet was week away I'd chill for a couple of days then test water, hoping for a couple of days of naughty teasey chat just before event x

I had messaged him , am not sitting here waiting for him to message me , but the flurry of messages stopped after we had arranged the play .

So just a bit perplexed that's all

have you heard from him yet? if not give up girl I would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I like the flirting and the build to to a meet. If I didn't hear from someone much after a date had been agreed then I'd start to wonder if he'd changed his mind, and let's face it, it does happen! My last meet was arranged two weeks before and we flirted like crazy

and still flirting

Having said that, what works for some doesn't work for others

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

It does sound as though he has changed his mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Once we have met socially and have arranged a play date , I do like sexy , flirtatious banter leading up to a meet , as for me it enhances a sexier play .."

I'd Definitly move this paragraph o yours near the top of your profile let guys know this is important for you otherwise it just won't work .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't like needy/clingy, a million messages a day types, but on the other hand I like a bit of a flirt and a tease leading up to a play meet. Exchange a few naughty pics, etc."

This

Only this

Mancini

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I personally would find lack of messages and contact before a meet a real turn off especially after a social. I like guys to flirt and chat with me leading up to a meet. Talk about what we want to do and our likes and dislikes. I also like a guy to show interest

I like to know the guy is looking forward to meet and can't wait to have me

I'd be quite upset for a guy to go quiet and is likely question meeting him.

That's just my opinion and know others feel differently but I quite like a guy who likes to flatter me and be slightly obsessive

Your a couple, seeking couples. How does that work then? I can see potential "problems" arising if the husband of the other couple was sending flirty messages to the female of the couple!

You read about couples complaining about both parties not included in messages etc.

Just highlights how you can't please all the people all the time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to know the guy is looking forward to meet and can't wait to have me

I'd be quite upset for a guy to go quiet and is likely question meeting him.

That's just my opinion and know others feel differently but I quite like a guy who likes to flatter me and be slightly obsessive

Your a couple, seeking couples. How does that work then? I can see potential "problems" arising if the husband of the other couple was sending flirty messages to the female of the couple!

You read about couples complaining about both parties not included in messages etc.

Just highlights how you can't please all the people all the time!

Sorry I guess I should clarify that I used to play as single and with single guys before becoming part of a couple and now only meet couples. So my previous post was about when I used to meet single guys I wasn't talking about wanting attention from male half of couple

But I'd feel similar if a couple we planned to meet went quiet. Guess I like social side as much as play and like a couple to show some interest leading up to meet. Mainly I chat to the lady of couple leading up to a meet. I find it puts us both at ease and builds to a hot relaxed play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was it last friday or this friday coming for the meet? Just being nosey as to whether he bottled it or not!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I tend to keep in touch. Helps reassure them if the meet is some way off.

I suppose it's also out of respect too.

So has the meet happened or is

It next week and has he been in touch since?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

U not been old fashioned he been a arse sod him I say get rid and nexst us girls have too much choice on here lets be honest its the guys who find it hard going to get a meet we dont .. think should be a name and shame page on here then we no who not to bother with for the men aswell get rid the time wasters I say ..

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"U not been old fashioned he been a arse sod him I say get rid and nexst us girls have too much choice on here lets be honest its the guys who find it hard going to get a meet we dont .. think should be a name and shame page on here then we no who not to bother with for the men aswell get rid the time wasters I say .. "

Just.....what??!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Name and shame for not messaging every 5 minutes? Well that's totally reasonable and not harsh in any way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without doubt, banter and flirting is a big part of the whole thing. I think communication is also showing respect. This should not be a cattle farm.

If you were meeting us there would be a lot of teasing and flirting xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would expect some communication.. The build up to a meet is one of the most exciting/horniest things ever

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By *cottybhoyMan
over a year ago

falkirk

Personally, if I came online and seen that you had started a thread that seems a little desperate, in terms of needing reassurance, and could be perceived as slagging me off (if I was the guy), I wouldn't contact you either.

You had a good meet and I don't know the reason for the delay. Maybe he thought you couldn't be bothered?

You are still hot tho!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im the same, i like a bit of flirty banter leading up to it. Otherwise i dont feel any chemistry when we meet it just feels too cold. "

I would be worried if there was no flirty banter, builds excitement to the actual event

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Even build up can get laboured and boring after a while. There's only so many times before a meet that i need to be told what you plan to do to me during said meet.

I appreciate everyone is different and views it differently. But i don't feel like i ever need to maintain that level and intensity of conversation for the week (or more) leading up to a meet.

This behaviour turned me off meeting a couple once. Both were on at different times of the day and both seemed to demand details of what was going to happen during the planned meet (from my POV).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i usually meet for a social and always will but sometimes if the chemisrty is there why not have a play

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even build up can get laboured and boring after a while. There's only so many times before a meet that i need to be told what you plan to do to me during said meet.

I appreciate everyone is different and views it differently. But i don't feel like i ever need to maintain that level and intensity of conversation for the week (or more) leading up to a meet.

This behaviour turned me off meeting a couple once. Both were on at different times of the day and both seemed to demand details of what was going to happen during the planned meet (from my POV). "

I have had the same thing with a single guy daily numerous times asked me where he was allowed to cum ... For about a week same thing over and over. In the end I said we have already spoken about this and he sulked needless to say I didn't meet him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a bit harsh! She didn't say he was a time waster just that the banter and flirting was not as much as she'd like.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Even build up can get laboured and boring after a while. There's only so many times before a meet that i need to be told what you plan to do to me during said meet.

I appreciate everyone is different and views it differently. But i don't feel like i ever need to maintain that level and intensity of conversation for the week (or more) leading up to a meet.

This behaviour turned me off meeting a couple once. Both were on at different times of the day and both seemed to demand details of what was going to happen during the planned meet (from my POV).

I get this a lot too. I'm not sure whether its a fault of mine but I like meets to be spontaneous and unexpected, not some timetable to tick off!

I had one guy arranged to come as part of a group and he wanted to discuss every detail. In the end he wanked for 10 mins, came, and buggered off. Sometimes the build up can make the meet more disappointing, not less.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Even build up can get laboured and boring after a while. There's only so many times before a meet that i need to be told what you plan to do to me during said meet.

I appreciate everyone is different and views it differently. But i don't feel like i ever need to maintain that level and intensity of conversation for the week (or more) leading up to a meet.

This behaviour turned me off meeting a couple once. Both were on at different times of the day and both seemed to demand details of what was going to happen during the planned meet (from my POV).

That would put me off too. There is a difference between banter/flirting and overdoing it.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Name and shame for what?!!

Blimey it gets more and more bizarre on here.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Even build up can get laboured and boring after a while. There's only so many times before a meet that i need to be told what you plan to do to me during said meet.

I appreciate everyone is different and views it differently. But i don't feel like i ever need to maintain that level and intensity of conversation for the week (or more) leading up to a meet.

This behaviour turned me off meeting a couple once. Both were on at different times of the day and both seemed to demand details of what was going to happen during the planned meet (from my POV). "

A man after my own heart! I get turned off if someone asks what I'm going to do to them.

I've cancelled a play meet after meeting socially as I was bombarded by text, whatsap etc: I felt overwhelmed and stalked after an hour in Costas. I shudder to think how he'd react if he knew my address.

On a positive note it helped me hone how I meet people. Now I have a cooling off period between social and play meet. There's no guarantee I'll eliminate all the crazies this way, but (touch wood) it's working so far!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

" Sometimes the build up can make the meet more disappointing, not less."

Has been my experience on more than one occasion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just goes to show everyone is different and likes different things. Some like constant contact and others prefer very little. It's all about finding others who want same. Just cause people want different types of contact doesn't mean they wrong.

One persons clingy is another persons flirty banter

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It is interesting to read so many different takes on this ... So thanks all for your input . I think , for me , that I will stick to meeting at clubs , socially and for play ... that way both of us have to make an effort to dress up , and meet , instead of me doing all the running , travel etc if that makes sense .

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Prefer little contact myself...

IF iv said meet a week on friday, will contact him maybe night before..

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Think I would have to flirt a bit .. even done a count down. To meets .. gotta keep the lady interested .. here's the proof boys .. take good note.. I'd have to chat every chance I could x"

Some, like myself find this off putting...

So no real proof of anything here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I worry about build up communication.For me its pretty basic.Pleasantries have been dealt, make a date for the meet, maybe talk a couple of times beforehand...nothing major, then have the meet

people who normally have extended chatter are the people who appear to complain/moan/wonder why their meets tend to not come to fruition IMO

uve been taken in by

a)cyber/text sex type

b) someone who juggles meets..mostly unsuccessfully double booking their time

c)could say that they werent interested(or that bothered) about actually meeting for actual sex..if they didnt find the social entirely enamoring

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Anyone who makes arrangements to meet and does not even send one message after that even if just to check it is still on has no intention of meeting, as far as I am concerned - for whatever reason they may have. I begin then to look for another meet and discount them as a potential.

At the very least it is good manners to send a message or two, flirting or non-flirting. You are, after all, intending on becoming intimate. Any guy who thinks this is clingy can p*** off in my opinion. It's GOOD manners, ffs! If you can show no respect to at least confirm and just expect to show up with the woman in question having gone to the trouble of preparing herself then that's just not going to happen - not in my house!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/05/13 16:36:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Name and shame for not messaging every 5 minutes? Well that's totally reasonable and not harsh in any way.

"
not every 5 mins but a message to say not forgot bout the meet hope all still ok thats all it takes now and again if I dont here till last min but its like they carnt be that bothered so why should I nothing wrong with a odd message sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone who makes arrangements to meet and does not even send one message after that even if just to check it is still on has no intention of meeting, as far as I am concerned - for whatever reason they may have. I begin then to look for another meet and discount them as a potential.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always swap numbers once a definite meet has been arranged, and leading up to the meet I like to have a bit of texting banter and flirting, but not to the extent that it becomes tedious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have met for coffee, lovely guy and got on well ... So eventually find a date to play a week Friday ... So what's the problem I hear you ask ??

Well there has been no messages from him since ...

I get the feeling he just wants me to turn up in a weeks time and play. .

Do peeps think I am expecting too much to have some correspondence or do I

assume he has lost interest .

If you had a play date arranged would you be charming and wooing your lady up to the date of play ... Or am I being too old fashioned

could it be that he is married and unable to communicate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we had arranged something that far in advance I wouldnt be expecting any communication until a few days before and then to confirm on the day, I dont like lots of messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in the same position. Had a social on thurs. we agreed to meet this coming tues

I dropped a. 'How are you?' On fri

No reply

And he's been on fab

I'd say this happens to 60% of my meets. Even verified men

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I'm in the same position. Had a social on thurs. we agreed to meet this coming tues

I dropped a. 'How are you?' On fri

No reply

And he's been on fab

I'd say this happens to 60% of my meets. Even verified men "

Going to play devil's advocate and turn this around slightly.....

This could happen for any whole host of reasons. He might have changed his mind but couldn't bring himself round to telling you. Or, he might just not have been able to reply at that time. Truth be told, arranging a meet doesn't automatically make any obliged to respond to subsequent messaging.

At least, that is the standard response you see from people on the forums when men who have arranged meets complain about the sudden lack of communication from women and/ or couples.

The above is not a slight at you at all by the way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It comes down to manners

If I change my mind then I tell the person politely in advance

Anything else is just ignorant and/or cowardice

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

If you say so. Thanks for the response.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"It comes down to manners

If I change my mind then I tell the person politely in advance

Anything else is just ignorant and/or cowardice "

I agree - too often on here I see people excusing simple POOR manners. Rudeness is rudeness. I assume, as we are all adults, that we were raised to know what good manners are - we even raise our children the same - yet, on here, there are all sorts of excuses made! It is totally unacceptable in my book and the moment I am treated like that then the block button is used. If one considers the well-mannered way of behaving then there IS an obligation to respond. If you make arrangements at the very least confirm nearer the date - simple. If not then you are rude. And I don't care who disagrees with that!

There are enough decent guys on here not to have to put up with ignorant ones.

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