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"Hello everyone, due to being in an abusive relationship with a Narcissist I've decided relationships aren't for me anymore however still want the fun. Was recommended this place but seem to be going no where fast! I've become a support and did the verification thing but still nothing am I not doing something correctly? " writing that you were in a relationship with a narcissist wouldn’t get you a sympathy shag either  | |||
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"1. You haven’t got enough pictures on your profile. 2. Asking for only Cis woman is fine and well and good but you didn’t need to follow it up with I make zero apologies for that comment. 3. You are a single male the site is probably about 70% single males ! Try be patient" So why are women allowed to say what they want and Don't want with attuide? | |||
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"1. You haven’t got enough pictures on your profile. 2. Asking for only Cis woman is fine and well and good but you didn’t need to follow it up with I make zero apologies for that comment. 3. You are a single male the site is probably about 70% single males ! Try be patient So why are women allowed to say what they want and Don't want with attuide? " Nobody’s saying you’re not allowed to put xyz on your profile - you’ve asked for advice, and someone helpfully pointed out that men tend to do better when they describe what they can offer, because of the huge numbers of men wanting relatively few women. At the end of the day - if you feel your profile portrays you perfectly, there’s nothing to change, is there? | |||
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"1. You haven’t got enough pictures on your profile. 2. Asking for only Cis woman is fine and well and good but you didn’t need to follow it up with I make zero apologies for that comment. 3. You are a single male the site is probably about 70% single males ! Try be patient So why are women allowed to say what they want and Don't want with attuide? " You are allowed to ask for what you want. They suggested you remove the line ' I make zero apologies for that'. Whether you do or not is your choice | |||
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"Why aren't you having success? For what its worth, here's honest comments, do with them as you will: -3 weeks is almost no time at all in this world. -conveying you're dominant looking for submissive makes the pool of women much smaller. That's a specific fetish area that only a smaller specific group of women are looking for. There are other more specific fetish sites which may have more individuals looking for this dynamic. Most of the women here are not single women (single women are very few), they are here as part of a couple and that couple may not have interest in bringing someone in to dominate their partners. -wanting to keep it local to your town makes the pool even smaller. -as a single male you're unfortunately part of a massive group of other single guys so standing out in a good way is absolutely imperative. Your single pic is not great at showcasing you and the narcissist comment adds a feel of negativity to your profile right out of the gate. -the few single (and partnered) women who are here, pretty much have a buffet of men to choose from and some of those men are hot as fuck and make a great first impression. -your expectations are likely too high. Best of luck." Ok thank you for your view I will take it on board | |||
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"1. You haven’t got enough pictures on your profile. 2. Asking for only Cis woman is fine and well and good but you didn’t need to follow it up with I make zero apologies for that comment. 3. You are a single male the site is probably about 70% single males ! Try be patient So why are women allowed to say what they want and Don't want with attuide? " They can and so can you, no one is saying you can't 🤷♀️ | |||
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" 2. Asking for only Cis woman is fine and well and good but you didn’t need to follow it up with I make zero apologies for that! They can and so can you, no one is saying you can't 🤷♀️" So in statement 2 you can see its been stated I can't however that wasn't just quoted at 1 group. Oh BTW love that blue 1 piece of yours | |||
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Best thing for you to do is head to a club, then you’ll get to meet people off here get verifications which will help, without those, and I’m not on about a photo one, you are gonna struggle . Good luck tho and remember each female on her is out number 10 to 1 or more they have their choice and get huge amounts of mail they can’t be bothered sifting through as half of the are full of it anyway. | |||
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"You say, “(as in CIS from birth)” The ‘from birth’ bit is superfluous. A CIS woman (or man) is by definition a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth; not transgender." Well I don't follow all that stuff Plus I'm being totally clear on that expectance, so there cannot be any confusion etc. Plus as I said I got AI to do some of it for me! | |||
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"You say, “(as in CIS from birth)” The ‘from birth’ bit is superfluous. A CIS woman (or man) is by definition a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth; not transgender. Well I don't follow all that stuff Plus I'm being totally clear on that expectance, so there cannot be any confusion etc. Plus as I said I got AI to do some of it for me!" Do you think AI can present you better than you present yourself? | |||
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"So what do I offer. Never been able to answer that question! Offer as In.???" Judging by your responses we don't think this place suits you and possibly you need to speak to a professional regarding your past experience | |||
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"So what do I offer. Never been able to answer that question! Offer as In.??? Judging by your responses we don't think this place suits you and possibly you need to speak to a professional regarding your past experience " We? Or you? | |||
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Make your profile stand out from the thousand of other generic, boring profiles. Be kind, respectful, upbeat and positive  .
Verifications and supporters passes won't boost your chances, but putting effort into your profile and photos and approaching people with courtesy most definitely will.
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"So what do I offer. Never been able to answer that question! Offer as In.??? Judging by your responses we don't think this place suits you and possibly you need to speak to a professional regarding your past experience We? Or you? " As it was from a couples profile I'm guessing 'we' meant both of them. | |||
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"1. You haven’t got enough pictures on your profile. 2. Asking for only Cis woman is fine and well and good but you didn’t need to follow it up with I make zero apologies for that comment. 3. You are a single male the site is probably about 70% single males ! Try be patient So why are women allowed to say what they want and Don't want with attuide? " The last part where you put ‘ I make zero apologies for that comment’ comes across as transphobic. This is why I think you should’ve removed that part. Tbh you have come across a little aggressive too across this forum post so it may put females off ??? | |||
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"1. You haven’t got enough pictures on your profile. 2. Asking for only Cis woman is fine and well and good but you didn’t need to follow it up with I make zero apologies for that comment. 3. You are a single male the site is probably about 70% single males ! Try be patient So why are women allowed to say what they want and Don't want with attuide? The last part where you put ‘ I make zero apologies for that comment’ comes across as transphobic. This is why I think you should’ve removed that part. Tbh you have come across a little aggressive too across this forum post so it may put females off ??? " Only just saw your comment anyway Normally I'm a each to there own and the whole live and let live business. But before I'd already had VERY negative attitude towards my "thanks but no thanks" replies (not those exact words) so had to stand my ground. | |||
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"Hello everyone, due to being in an abusive relationship with a Narcissist I've decided relationships aren't for me anymore however still want the fun. Was recommended this place but seem to be going no where fast! I've become a support and did the verification thing but still nothing am I not doing something correctly? " No, you’re not doing anything wrong, I’ve been on and off this site since Covid and just buy pure luck, one meat, I think you just have to have the patience as there are more men than women on here | |||
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"Hello everyone, due to being in an abusive relationship with a Narcissist I've decided relationships aren't for me anymore however still want the fun. Was recommended this place but seem to be going no where fast! I've become a support and did the verification thing but still nothing am I not doing something correctly? No, you’re not doing anything wrong, I’ve been on and off this site since Covid and just buy pure luck, one meat, I think you just have to have the patience as there are more men than women on here" Thank you for an actual positive reply. | |||
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"Hello everyone, due to being in an abusive relationship with a Narcissist I've decided relationships aren't for me anymore however still want the fun. Was recommended this place but seem to be going no where fast! I've become a support and did the verification thing but still nothing am I not doing something correctly? No, you’re not doing anything wrong, I’ve been on and off this site since Covid and just buy pure luck, one meat, I think you just have to have the patience as there are more men than women on here Thank you for an actual positive reply. " What do you think of the rest of the advice here? | |||
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"Hello everyone, due to being in an abusive relationship with a Narcissist I've decided relationships aren't for me anymore however still want the fun. Was recommended this place but seem to be going no where fast! I've become a support and did the verification thing but still nothing am I not doing something correctly? No, you’re not doing anything wrong, I’ve been on and off this site since Covid and just buy pure luck, one meat, I think you just have to have the patience as there are more men than women on here Thank you for an actual positive reply. What do you think of the rest of the advice here?" If I'm honest some of it has come across degrading and threatening. Ok maybe what I was looking for is 1 in 100 BUT out of all the women I have slept with only 1 has said she doesn't want to and fine fair enough. But the rest were happy to. | |||
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"Your profile screams red flags to us. You come across very poorly in my opinion. The swinging community is an inclusive space and your profile screams angry white male with conspiracy theory vibes. This may or may not be who you are, if it’s not then I’d suggest rewriting it yourself and not using AI. Also the disclaimers you put on your profile are meaningless." Your reply implies to me that I am NOT allowed to say that I am only intrested in meeting women. However I notice no women are given the same treatment for stating what they want Or do not want. So far all I've had are Gay men and couples and while they are perfectly free to live their lives how they choose etc being a straight male I have no intrest in them. Really I am saving them and myself time. | |||
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"Dude, you've had it all explained to you. You can be as picky and selective as you want, but with that profile and that attitude your chances here are pretty much zero." So are you implying because I'm only intrested in Women that makes me picky? | |||
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"Dude, you've had it all explained to you. You can be as picky and selective as you want, but with that profile and that attitude your chances here are pretty much zero. So are you implying because I'm only intrested in Women that makes me picky?" OP we pose this question? How many women would you estimate are A) in your age bracket B) on here C) both able to and willing to accommodate D) are into your interests E) Have your age group, ethnicity, body type, look as their preference F) believe your profile gives them enough information to be interested G) are local to you We would suggest irrespective of how you come across in this thread as everyone is entitled to their opinion, that simple maths would say that the potential market you are working within is very small. At this point this may be seen as picky. They are your preferences and you are entitled to them but the reality is if you expect to strike gold so quickly on here you are mistaken. | |||
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"Dude, you've had it all explained to you. You can be as picky and selective as you want, but with that profile and that attitude your chances here are pretty much zero. So are you implying because I'm only intrested in Women that makes me picky?" Where did I say that?? Let's do the numbers - The demographics of this site are about 70% men, 25% couples and 5% single women - so you're already down to 5%. Of that 5%, you only want ones between the ages of 25-50, so maybe 3% You also want them to be local to Ipswich even though you can't accommodate - so maybe 0.2%. Your problem is that you are in competition for that 0.2% with most of that other 70% of men, most of whom have better pictures, better bio and a better attitude. You can improve your chances significantly by addressing those last three things without sacrificing your "women only" criteria. Or you can just moan about how unfair it all is - up to you really. | |||
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"Dude, you've had it all explained to you. You can be as picky and selective as you want, but with that profile and that attitude your chances here are pretty much zero. So are you implying because I'm only intrested in Women that makes me picky? Where did I say that?? Let's do the numbers - The demographics of this site are about 70% men, 25% couples and 5% single women - so you're already down to 5%. Of that 5%, you only want ones between the ages of 25-50, so maybe 3% You also want them to be local to Ipswich even though you can't accommodate - so maybe 0.2%. Your problem is that you are in competition for that 0.2% with most of that other 70% of men, most of whom have better pictures, better bio and a better attitude. You can improve your chances significantly by addressing those last three things without sacrificing your "women only" criteria. Or you can just moan about how unfair it all is - up to you really." Not moaning its unfair just asking for real advice. So far some of you latest advice is actually helpful! The 25-50 isn't me I've tried changing it however it rests back like I have no say in it. Honestly I feel icky with 25 let alone younger! Upto 55 Maybe 60 would be ok but again I've tried changing it, it just goes back. And staying local is a practical and safety thing. | |||
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"Hello everyone, due to being in an abusive relationship with a Narcissist I've decided relationships aren't for me anymore however still want the fun. Was recommended this place but seem to be going no where fast! I've become a support and did the verification thing but still nothing am I not doing something correctly? " If only it was that easy ha | |||
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