FabSwingers.com forum: Mistake

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have recently had sex with a few of gaz's friends. Massive turn on for him and great sex for me but can't help wondering if it might turn out to be a mistake. Any one have experience of this, one of them in particular is already very touchy Feeley already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have recently had sex with a few of gaz's friends. Massive turn on for him and great sex for me but can't help wondering if it might turn out to be a mistake. Any one have experience of this, one of them in particular is already very touchy Feeley already."

Just tell him to back off lol

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm one of those people that always thinks "worse case scenario" before going ahead and doing something. If it's something that could come back and bite me but I could deal with it, I go for it. If I don't think I could deal with it, I knock the idea on the head.

Sex with my husbands friends: I'd have run screaming in the opposite direction.

Hope it works out for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Weve done it a few times in the past with a friend of my bf. But I just act completely normal with him.........and no flirting or talking about sex when were just normally socialising so no crossed wires. Plus i had a conversation with him saying I trusted him not to tell anyone etc. A couple of times he may have mentioned something when hes d*unk but I just ignore or change the subject. Wouldn't do it again. X

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"I'm one of those people that always thinks "worse case scenario" before going ahead and doing something. If it's something that could come back and bite me but I could deal with it, I go for it. If I don't think I could deal with it, I knock the idea on the head.

Sex with my husbands friends: I'd have run screaming in the opposite direction.

Hope it works out for you."

Would be my view on it too

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

My advice would be as above in that you ignore it, dont let it get into conversation etc unless it becomes too much.

Point out to him that he is supposed to be a mate and nothing's changed, in that he wouldn't have done this before.

You can be nice and sugar coat it with, it was great and all but it really was just fun and anything that happens stays where it happened etc...

If he still doesn't get it, just call time on it, or if you want to keep the peace you'll have to be a bit more forceful.

Maybe your partner should be a bit proactive and take him for a drink and chat?

Personally I think it's not your fault, you never really know how people are going to be after, especially if its new to them.

Hope you get it sorted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our first swinging experience was with dan's best mate at the time. Was amazing for as long as it lasted we spent many memorable nights together. They are not as close now but that's more time passing than what happened. Go for it! Actually thinking of going there with some of his new pals mmmmm

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By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter

given your profile says you were childhood sweethearts, and had only ever been with each other, you fuck a BUNCH of his friends all at once is, as you correctly surmise, a very large mistake.

it ain't just his friends that will never look at you the same, it is him, and if you think the event isn't going to get out to the rumour mill you are sadly mistaken.

but, it's done, you need to think about dealing with things as they are, and not as they were, however tough and different that road is from the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes ive had 3sum with best mate n his wife we had fun but i wouldn get pushy to get more, respect boundaries tell him st8

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

given your profile says you were childhood sweethearts, and had only ever been with each other, you fuck a BUNCH of his friends all at once is, as you correctly surmise, a very large mistake.

You think they'll be a queue at the door?

it ain't just his friends that will never look at you the same, it is him, and if you think the event isn't going to get out to the rumour mill you are sadly mistaken.

but, it's done, you need to think about dealing with things as they are, and not as they were, however tough and different that road is from the past"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks all

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I'd say don't swing with vanillas, they don't know what swinging is about and don't understand the etiquette.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say don't swing with vanillas, they don't know what swinging is about and don't understand the etiquette.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

I was going to post exactly the same bit of advice!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We all make mistakes and if this turns out to be one you'll have to deal with it, learn from it and move forward the best way you can. The touchy, feely guy needs talking to, it isn't his fault that he expects more he probably didn't understand it was a one off so be gentle with him.

As a general rule I'd say having sex with one of your husbands friends is risky but with more than one is probably going to cause trouble of some sort somewhere down the line.

Hope you get it all sorted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was a mistake then why do t? Honesty it does begger belief on here at times, you shagged your mans mates where you pushed into it?

Do you really want to be here or is this HIS fantasy?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I'd say don't swing with vanillas, they don't know what swinging is about and don't understand the etiquette.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

"Vanillas" are not the only ones who don't understand the etiquette unfortunately, that's why establishing ground rules is so important before you start playing. I'd guess that's partially the problem here not everyone involved was aware of the agenda.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If it was a mistake then why do t? "

I think the OP didn't think of it as a mistake until after the event. I think we've all been there (not with this particular situation obviously) waking up one morning thinkg "shit! why on earth did I do that?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd say don't swing with vanillas, they don't know what swinging is about and don't understand the etiquette.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing

Good point!

I tend to worry about the 'blurred line' thing.

Its too complicated for my life to have vanilla's and swinging crossing over.

I've come up against too much judging from vanilla men in my carefree youth before I discovered swinging.

So there is no way I would risk 'playing' with my fella's mates.

Your fella definitely needs to speak to his mate!

Good luck x

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By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Its a tricky one...my ex got me into swinging with his mate lol...long story but found out after we split they used to plan stuff etc without me knowing..just be careful n your man should have a word with his mate if your not feeling comfortable x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not really but I wnt personally get friends involved cz you see them all the time n they think they can touch n more whereas just a random person your much less likely to see so it dnt get like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the impression op is saying it's been more than once with this guy. If so and they haven't chatted about it I can see where the line might be blurred a bit. After all op is a very, very attractive lady and can't blame the guy for trying lol. She also doesn't sound like she thinks it's a mistake YET!

Lay down the ground rules babe, if he wants to keep enjoying you he plays by your rules. I agree though that you have to be confortable don't do this just cos your bf wants you too.

How would you feel if you watched him fucking one of your close friends, jealousy will come in somewhere with people you know well and have to deal with in the real world.

I loved having Em fucked by my mate back in the day intense horny experience but would we do it now. Not sure despite what she said above lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks emmdan you are right it wasn't a one off he has joined us a dozen or so times now and does not seem like a mistake yet. We cleared the air last night and all seems like it will be fine. So all is rosy I've got an extra hunk at my beck and call lol. Appreciate everyone's feedback.

Kim xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad its all sorted.

Weve played with Ants mates and they know better rhan to try anything outside of what we do together because hes made it clear that its fun over if they do.

I agree though with as has been said. No flirting etc on a day to day basis. Then lines dont get blurred.

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By *inful_coupleCouple
over a year ago

Frimley

Tell him to back off and that the time you did it was that time and that's it. Doesn't give someone free reign to start being all touchy unless you give him free reign.

If it was, surely that means any ex is game ... you hold the control here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a quiet word with him, when you're reasonably sure that he's got the message, remove the carving knife from his scrotum being careful not to draw blood, you might have to carve the Sunday joint at the weekend

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