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Expectance and arrogance

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By *ornypair300 OP   Couple
10 weeks ago

scottish borders

Ok so this may just be us but surely not . As a couple we like to chat for a little bit to make sure everyone’s on the same page and see if there’s common ground etc however , we can’t be the only people being approached by men that want to meet right away despite our bio saying we never do last minute meets. Seems even the ones we chat to for a little bit (usually three / four messages) become arrogant and expect us to drop everything there and then. Now we are not saying they are all like that but for the most part maybe 1 in 10 can actually have a conversation without coming across as arrogant/weird .

We don’t think it used to be like this here and tbh it’s becoming a pain to just be able to arrange something with likeminded people .

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By *herrybakewellCouple
10 weeks ago

Staffordshire

As a sexually active couple we've never needed to rush into anything on our swinger journey.

Others however are horny and desperate to empty their balls.

We've all had the same messages you have, it made us reconsider our profile settings and who can contact us.

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By *wo-Of-a-KindCouple
10 weeks ago

Middle Earth

we get this often, not just men but some couples too. most dissappear when we refuse to just meet at an instant . we look for a connection before meeting anyone, it's not just about the sex for us. seems alot don't want to put the effort or time in , which is fine but not for us too.

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By *ndymac888Man
10 weeks ago

Dumbarton

I see this complaint a lot on profiles, if someone has no vetting process at all I would presume it’s some sort of fake profile.

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By *randMrsLPCouple
10 weeks ago

london

Hi OP

Almost always happens like you said and it reuslts in a block from us

Many others in our experience, if they have no face pic on profile will very quickly send their face pic without any request from us and almost deman ours - results in ban

Then you get those who then send a "friends " request with one message or just one of those, often reuslts in a block

Then you get those that send a line or two and lie about "I read your .... profile." They did not if they had I would know.

Many chancres here but some very, nice and genuine people males/couples as well - so keep looking and it is good in a way some get wound up so quickly as you will know this and not waste your time trying to meet an "arrogant" person/s.

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By *uckurcumMan
10 weeks ago

Bishop Auckland

I get this too .... What's annoying is the entitlement that seems to go with the attitude...

Sites were easier to navigate years ago because people were more tolerant about timings etc ....

There seems to be the assumption that you don't have a life ....

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By *issmorganWoman
10 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I've had this recently I'm not meeting and my profile clearly states this.

A man messaged me, asked me if I fancy a chat, I said I'm not looking for meets, so it's up to you if you still want to chat.

He said that was fine etc, 3 messages in asking to move to another platform and if I want to meet.

Block.

Even if I was meeting, I would never want to meet after 3 v brief messages. He hadn't even asked to see my face either, which makes me think any hole is a goal.

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By *hechonkyduoCouple
10 weeks ago

Café Leblanc, Stourbridge

We get this often, not just from single guys but couples as well.

We like to chat for a while before even discussing a meet. Just regular conversation but this seems to be the cause of most of the drop off.

As we open our home to potential meets we want to be comfortable and get to know them first.

We are left on read more than we are replied to.

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By *enelope2UWoman
10 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

[Removed by poster at 08/05/25 20:50:21]

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By *enelope2UWoman
10 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

Worse as a single female..even worse when you have pictures videos..majority of males don't read and can't function with both heads in operation at the same time...

For me compatabilities and IN PERSON chemistry must match the chats we've had.. a picture means ZERO to me if there's no physical in person chemistry..a chat means ZERO if in person it's awkward or boring interactions.

I try to treat it as a filter it allows the decent men to standout amongst the debris..

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By *ornypair300 OP   Couple
10 weeks ago

scottish borders

Good to hear from you all on this and that we are certainly not being "too fussy" we like to chat and make sure there is connection there and banter etc as if everyones relaxed it makes for more fun over all. seems that mostly now people expect to meet right away because its a "sex site " sorry we see it as a swinging site and theres more to swinging than just sex .

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By *enelope2UWoman
10 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances


"Good to hear from you all on this and that we are certainly not being "too fussy" we like to chat and make sure there is connection there and banter etc as if everyones relaxed it makes for more fun over all. seems that mostly now people expect to meet right away because its a "sex site " sorry we see it as a swinging site and theres more to swinging than just sex . "

Exactly this.. unfortunately most have never been swingers nor have they been involved with anyone legitimately in the lifestyle or with a true couple that swings. Internet and porn plus those just treating it as a pass to cheat has always distorted the lifestyle.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
10 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

This kind of approach has been around as long as I've been on the site. I don't think it's something new.

I've had it from couples on this profile and from men on our couples profile. They all get the same response - either an immediate delete or a swift rejection the second any pressure to meet arises.

It's a useful filter. People who show they haven't read your profile and who are in a rush to meet can't really complain when you choose to end a conversation.

I'd rather they made it obvious than didn't if I'm honest. 🤷‍♂️

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By *isitingbiMan
10 weeks ago

London

It has changed over the years. Have been swinging for over 20. When it was just magazines most were genuine as one had to make the effort. And it was initually the same on line. But, as with most things, many now expect an instant/positive response and some treat Fab like social media. It isn't. My view is treat someone's profile like one would treat them real life. Respect, lust, intrigue, boredom. We expect/accept that in the real world. Just for the same on here. It is not hard. Oh, and read profiles!

.

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By *ornypair300 OP   Couple
10 weeks ago

scottish borders

exactly this , like you wouldnt just walk up to someone in a bar and show them your cock or aproach a couple and be like "corr love nice tits want to fuck " so why do it here , yes swinging involves sex but that doesnt mean we are all ready to jump into bed with anyone at any given time

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By *pontaneous_coupleCouple
10 weeks ago

Hoddesdon

Definitely need to chat and see if there’s a good connection between everyone before hand, and plan something properly so we can have a social and go with the flow xx

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By *nuggle_fuckersCouple
10 weeks ago

Cardiff

We use the message filters to block a lot of issues you're talking about.

Ours are set for age range, verified only, public photos, and block profile types we''re not interested in.

We do meet single guys, but we block them messaging us.

We then look for well verified single men with well written profiles.

If you message or wink them it lifts the message filters for them alone.

Hope this helps 😊

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By *ack1971Man
10 weeks ago

Cork


"Ok so this may just be us but surely not . As a couple we like to chat for a little bit to make sure everyone’s on the same page and see if there’s common ground etc however , we can’t be the only people being approached by men that want to meet right away despite our bio saying we never do last minute meets. Seems even the ones we chat to for a little bit (usually three / four messages) become arrogant and expect us to drop everything there and then. Now we are not saying they are all like that but for the most part maybe 1 in 10 can actually have a conversation without coming across as arrogant/weird .

We don’t think it used to be like this here and tbh it’s becoming a pain to just be able to arrange something with likeminded people . "

A lot of clowns are testing waters to see if they can get their knobs wet with minimal effort, and it's cheaper than a sex worker.

You'll get dial-a-dicks everywhere, this is just another online place for them to lounge about.

Lounge lizards.

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By *ngelina042025Woman
10 weeks ago

London

Yes yes yes loads of them lol xx

But I can filter myself by em reading the message and seeing the profile pic xx

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