FabSwingers.com forum: Frustrating time wasters for newbies

By (user no longer on site) OP
5 weeks ago

Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

Makes it worse when you see on updates people complaining about time wasters and no genuine guys but they not willing to give a newbie with no social a chance. Anyone else find even that first social difficult to get.

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By *zami89Man
5 weeks ago

Stockton-on-Tees

Agreed but I've noticed I can communicate with People alot more now takes some time mate all I can say and I've had friend meets that's all haha so be patient 😉

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

You learn quickly who's genuine or not tbh .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
5 weeks ago

Thanks mate any advice massively appreciated, hoping can get going as have no interest in a relationship again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
5 weeks ago

Yeah starting to learn that, shame people won't give me a chance, genuine as they come

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By *allySlinkyWoman
5 weeks ago

Leeds

I am very curious what the life changing event was which gave you a lack of inhibitions.

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By *aomilatteCouple
5 weeks ago

Midlands

"Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

You can get a first social by going to a social event, they can be found by searching the forum. Couples also encounter a lot of time wasters, we can vouch for that. Personally we go to clubs where real players go.

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By *harAndBryCouple
5 weeks ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Yeah starting to learn that, shame people won't give me a chance, genuine as they come"

Strangely, but with a 60% no-show rate, the most common assurance we get is that they're genuine and won't waste our time.

Unfortunately we're one of those couples now that won't meet anyone who doesn't have a meet verification within the past twelve months.

(Bry)

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By *M696969Couple
5 weeks ago

Wisbech

We are the same wasted time getting ready traveling to a no show...I agree go to a club even if it's just to talk to people ask them to give you a verification that is how we got our first few... good luck happy fabbing

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By *ikesEmBigMan
5 weeks ago

Herts

"Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

You've still gotta fancy each other too

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By *he OxfordMaleMan
5 weeks ago

wantage

"I am very curious what the life changing event was which gave you a lack of inhibitions. "
😂😂 Me too please reveal…

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By *he OxfordMaleMan
5 weeks ago

wantage

Have had meets but been with Cocksucker male or T-Girl veris never mentioned. Should go back get couple veris put on really eh

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By *uckurcumMan
5 weeks ago

Bishop Auckland

I'm non judgemental when it comes to newbies,everyone has to start somewhere ...

Time wasters are not specifically in the realm of newbies ... Had some well verified people that obviously enjoy wasting some people's time ..yet at the same juncture, you have to accept people have the right to change their mind,have lives,and unexpected events do crop up ... frustrating as it can be at the time ..

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By *iss KinkWoman
4 weeks ago

North West

What do you class as time wasting?

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By *orgetmeKnotCouple
4 weeks ago

Gillingham

"Thanks mate any advice massively appreciated, hoping can get going as have no interest in a relationship again "

You're a good looking guy and bisexual too which ticks boxes for us...but your bio reads like 99% of other mens on here. Couples and women are inundated with messages and most of us will look at your profile before opening a message. I'm sure your life changing event is worth hearing about but if you don't want to write it out a hundred times then just be upfront, it's like trying to get a face pic out of someone, spending a while chatting only to finally see it and then realising you're not attracted to them.

Plus you don't mention what's on offer from you? You say you're after like minded people but what does that mean? We don't know what you your mind is like. It's a two way street, people aren't here to fulfil your desires, they're after a common ground where everyone can explore them together. So if you don't want to be messed around, be specific so you can find those that are a proper match for you.

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

To be honest, no, not at all, it's extremely easy to get a social and get verified.

There are tons of group socials you can pop along to and ask to be verified, tons of clubs again they'd verify you or there's the cam rooms where someone would verify you.

That green tick isn't some magical thing that makes meeting any easier though.

It only takes a wee bit of effort to get a verification.

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By *otoBlue69Man
4 weeks ago

Stockport

I am sick of the ones that promise the world until they get your address for a meet and then immediately disappear.

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By *ryton 123TV/TS
4 weeks ago

Chatham

I've been chatting to a newbie and explained what happens on here, also offered him a wank and bj with nothing in reply if his still unsure.

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By *ocketman81Man
4 weeks ago

Ennis

It actually just takes a bit of time to get used to here. I'm back about 2 months after a long break and just now getting used to navigating my way around again. But there is a lovely genuine community here once you get past the time wasters. Persevere and you will meet nice people. Try get to a social or two.

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By *oxy jWoman
4 weeks ago

somerset

nobody has to give anybody a ''chance'' nobody owes anybody anything no mater what sex you are

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By *obdukesMan
4 weeks ago

small village north dublin

"Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

There more you interact in forums definitely helps bring more traffic to your profile !

But getting a message is another thing that’s why I just catfish

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By *assy MissWoman
4 weeks ago

Sent to Coventry

Most here will have experienced time wasters at some point.

The last time I did, his profile went into a long description of how reliable he was and that he’s never a no show !

Luckily you do get better at spotting them as time goes on

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By *herryEatersCouple
4 weeks ago

East Cheshire

"Most here will have experienced time wasters at some point.

The last time I did, his profile went into a long description of how reliable he was and that he’s never a no show !

Luckily you do get better at spotting them as time goes on "

You'd think !. We first joined ten years ago and even the most genuine looking profiles are no guarantee. The classic is those who claim great interest then mid conversation dissapear for days or weeks to return claiming they were busy

. Very interested yet too busy for five minutes in the evening. Last one came back after vanishing mid chat 14 weeks ago "been busy, still fancy meeting ?"

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By *5NyorksMan
4 weeks ago

.......

"Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

Can certainly be difficult to catch a break. Especially round our way. Get in touch if you fancy, I'm happy to chat.... at least 😜

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Central

Expect most people you speak with not to result in a meeting. But arranging a meeting and not turning up is not excusable at all.

Please report anyone who does this to Admin.

There are lots of decent people here. If you want balance, consider going to Fab socials as well as visiting clubs.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

OK.

You say you came with no expectations but just a couple of months in have already bought into the concept that the odds are against single males and people don't give newbies a chance. That sounds to me as if there are some expectations. 🤷‍♂️

The odds aren't against single males.

They're definitely against 'some' single males, just as they are against some couples and equally some single women.

Because having any expectations will generally lead to disappointment. The site facilitates contact between people, nothing more. And there no guarantee that any contact you proactively make will result in even a reply, let alone an ongoing conversation or an actual meet.

There are plenty of things you can do to increase the odds of any of the above happening.

Put more effort into your profile and photos than you do a message, as the majority will view and read that long before any message you send. Nothing to interest in a profile usually means a message won't get read.

Be in it for the long game, not a quick fix because you have the horn. Whilst some do meet for spontaneous sex many want a conversation first, a fair bit of dialogue, maybe a purely social meet. If any chat dives straight into sex and meeting then the chances of being duped, stood up or just being strung along by someone sat behind a keyboard knocking one out increases significantly.

And yes.....organised socials and clubs. You're not guaranteed sex but you are guaranteed to actually meet people face to face. There's no better way to show others your personality and network. They can lead to future meets, introductions to friends of people you chat to and offer the chance to build a reputation as someone worth talking to.

It took me a while when I first joined 17 years ago to get a few 1-2-1 meets under my belt. Once I'd started approaching things as more of a social activity and incorporated clubs and events I often struggled to find free time in my diary.

If people want to stick to purely online approaches that's their choice entirely. But it will always limit options, be a much harder graft and increase the risk of let downs. But the choice is entirely theirs. 🤷‍♂️

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By *sumfun2Man
4 weeks ago

Chorley

You will get verified from a club on a newbie yet as being genuine. The green *tick" does mean you're real and nothing more.

Clubs are the way forward tbh as this place is full of fakes and wannabes. Most of my 150+ verifications are from clubs and they are from people I've chatted to NOT necessarily I've played with.

Just don't walk round the club with your cock in your hand wanking. There is enough of the wanking dead, jail wardens in clubs

Good luck

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By *ustangguyMan
4 weeks ago

chester

Same. Read a profile of local lady. Seem ideal match. Sent a very polite email intro, no text speak, no crude expletives, no dick pics.

She deleted with no reply. Manners cost nothing as they say.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Same. Read a profile of local lady. Seem ideal match. Sent a very polite email intro, no text speak, no crude expletives, no dick pics.

She deleted with no reply. Manners cost nothing as they say. "

That's not bad manners though. Just because she seemed like an ideal match to you, she evidently felt differently.

It's no different to my local Chinese takeaway dropping menus through my door.

I love food. I hate Chinese. I don't call them to tell them, I just put the menu in the recycling. 🤷‍♂️

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
4 weeks ago

kendal

"Same. Read a profile of local lady. Seem ideal match. Sent a very polite email intro, no text speak, no crude expletives, no dick pics.

She deleted with no reply. Manners cost nothing as they say.

That's not bad manners though. Just because she seemed like an ideal match to you, she evidently felt differently.

It's no different to my local Chinese takeaway dropping menus through my door.

I love food. I hate Chinese. I don't call them to tell them, I just put the menu in the recycling. 🤷‍♂️"

This is the best description ever used to describe how single females can behave.

If we has to reply to every message in our inboxes, we'd have to employ a secretary!

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By *abba44Man
4 weeks ago

Broadstairs

Maybe as proclaimed bi you would be better on Fabguys,l`m still waiting for my first encounter on here after 2 years but get lots of action on fabguys.

l`m only here for the forum now,saves me logging into porn story sites.

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By *ineapplePixie69!Couple
4 weeks ago

Close to Newport

"Most here will have experienced time wasters at some point.

The last time I did, his profile went into a long description of how reliable he was and that he’s never a no show !

Luckily you do get better at spotting them as time goes on

. Very interested yet too busy for five minutes in the evening. Last one came back after vanishing mid chat 14 weeks ago "been busy, still fancy meeting ?"

We have come across this a few times, very annoying 😑

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By *ust a little bit moreWoman
4 weeks ago

kendal

Firstly,nobody here owes you a chance, if you want to play, it's down to you to make sure you get meets, you can do that in a variety of ways.

Make your profile stand out, it's a little generic, and doesn't say anything that 100s of others doesn't already say.

Most women and couples will check out a profile before even reading a message, some people don't even read some messages that come I to thier inbox, especially if they're only one line long, or the profile is as dull as dishwater.

I can appreciate it's hard for single males here, but it's equally as hard for single ladies and couples, just in Different ways, we can all empathise with your frustration! We've all felt it at some point t I'm sure, we all fall in and out of love with fab as a result of those disappointments from time to time.

I'd maybe snaz up your profile a little,

Get yourself along to a club or to a social night somewhere to get you that first in person verification, and then go from there

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By *enlikesbothMan
4 weeks ago

york area or visiting

Wait till you get sent to the wrong address always a fun one

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By *A9819Man
4 weeks ago

stockbridge

Head injuries can do that.

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By *lueDressWoman
4 weeks ago

Bath

I think it's frustrating for most people. It depends if we have a particular type of person we are looking for. I would think most swingers have got a particular type. And are quite fussy. I've never been stood up. And I've never stood anyone up. But I have turned down many people because I just didn't find them sexually attractive enough to meet them. Some people just can't be bothered to be blunt.

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By *BA8891Man
2 weeks ago

Manchester

"Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

Following as I feel tge same

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By *iss KinkWoman
2 weeks ago

North West

"Same. Read a profile of local lady. Seem ideal match. Sent a very polite email intro, no text speak, no crude expletives, no dick pics.

She deleted with no reply. Manners cost nothing as they say. "

No reply means not interested. We don’t have time to reply to everyone and when we do then get abuse

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By *oiluvfunMan
2 weeks ago

Harewood

"To be honest, no, not at all, it's extremely easy to get a social and get verified.

There are tons of group socials you can pop along to and ask to be verified, tons of clubs again they'd verify you or there's the cam rooms where someone would verify you.

That green tick isn't some magical thing that makes meeting any easier though.

It only takes a wee bit of effort to get a verification.

Absolutely this! There’s a new solo female profile in my local updates, been here 8 weeks now, and just posted her 8th meet veri this morning (that’s 8 different guys btw)!

She clearly didn’t find it difficult to get her first social veri, and is obviously putting some effort in…….

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By *as1098Man
2 weeks ago

Sevenoaks

Read the following quickly because I'm bound to get a ban from admin for telling the truth.

********************************** I've been here years on and off and there had been change over the years. It's harder and harder with a lot of fakes, a lot of people who just want their egos fed by requesting you fab their pictures but site has been ruined by the amount of content creators. Still hang about hoping to find the odd genuine person though.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Read the following quickly because I'm bound to get a ban from admin for telling the truth.

But it's not the truth is it?

People meet every day. People talk to those that they're interested in, not just because someone asks to.

Yes, some put 'fab for....' on their photos but I'll let you in on a little secret. You don't have to. You can simply pass them by. 🤷‍♂️

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By *hampersDarlingWoman
2 weeks ago

Norwich

Everybody experiences time wasters on here if my experiences are anything to go by.

I think single guys think it's only them sometimes and it really isn't.

Give it time and you will meet some great people. Going to socials and clubs is always good idea to meet new people and get verifications.

It's frustrating for all of us at times but it also can be very fun and rewarding. So hang on in there.

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By *as1098Man
2 weeks ago

Sevenoaks

"Read the following quickly because I'm bound to get a ban from admin for telling the truth.

But it's not the truth is it?

People meet every day. People talk to those that they're interested in, not just because someone asks to.

Yes, some put 'fab for....' on their photos but I'll let you in on a little secret. You don't have to. You can simply pass them by. 🤷‍♂️"

Oh but it is.....

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By *ternal Optimist1Man
2 weeks ago

Hertford

"Came onto fab with no expectations but rather with an interest in exploring my new found lack of inhibitions due to a life event.

Now I can absolutely accept for a single male the odds are against you but it's made even more frustrating by time wasters and no shows.

Agree 100%

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By *ldNewbie64Man
2 weeks ago

Bury

No point trying anymore.

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By *ucka39Man
2 weeks ago

Newcastle

"No point trying anymore. "

Hiya

Don't be hard on yourself, and don't just rely on messages there's more to the site including the forums and cam chat rooms and opportunity to connect with others. The more you use of the site the more opportunities you have

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By *iss KinkWoman
2 weeks ago

North West

"No point trying anymore. "

But that’s the thing you arnt. Just looked on your profile and it’s blank

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By *siaessex2Couple
2 weeks ago

essex

It the same for couples make arrangements for single guys to meet,& they don't turn up.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
2 weeks ago

barnstaple

"No point trying anymore.

But that’s the thing you arnt. Just looked on your profile and it’s blank "

I looked too and thought the same.

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By *harAndBryCouple
2 weeks ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"It the same for couples make arrangements for single guys to meet,& they don't turn up."

Twelve meets arranged this year...seven haven't turned up.

(Bry)

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By *harAndBryCouple
2 weeks ago

Peterborough / Stamford

[Removed by poster at 30/03/25 19:00:12]

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By *harAndBryCouple
2 weeks ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"No point trying anymore.

But that’s the thing you arnt. Just looked on your profile and it’s blank

I looked too and thought the same."

Hidden profile now!

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By *chumac89Man
2 weeks ago

lurgan

More the fact if ya havent been verified ya dont get looked at altho any new female site supporter with no pics or anything gets verified within an hour or so dosent make sense!

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By *harAndBryCouple
2 weeks ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"More the fact if ya havent been verified ya dont get looked at altho any new female site supporter with no pics or anything gets verified within an hour or so dosent make sense! "

Those are the fakes, and easy to spot. And we don't meet guys without their own meet verifications as the two biggest common denominators in our no-shows are distance and lack of meets verifications. We're just fed up of giving people chances.

(Bry)

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By *p the JunctionMan
2 weeks ago

Worcester

Had one person message me,we arranged a meet for the following morning,and they would send meeting place address first thing in the morning as I had a thirty minute journey,so wouldn't leave till I got it. Surprise surprise,address never sent. This was somebody with variations,so blocked them.A message to say something has happened or changed mind would have been nice. No idea if they got a cheap thrill out of it.

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By *oiluvfunMan
2 weeks ago

Harewood

"More the fact if ya havent been verified ya dont get looked at altho any new female site supporter with no pics or anything gets verified within an hour or so dosent make sense! "

You're a relative newcomer to Fab though mate, stick around and observe! There are a good few women who pop up with a profile, rattle off a horde of meet verifications, then disappear, until to emerge a few weeks/months later, new profile (same old pics), and then rack up the veris once again. It's very easy to do this, when you're a pussy atoll in an ocean of penises.....

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By *chumac89Man
2 weeks ago

lurgan

"More the fact if ya havent been verified ya dont get looked at altho any new female site supporter with no pics or anything gets verified within an hour or so dosent make sense!

100% altho this is a new account as i deleted my old 1 for the same reason but its good for a perv so a few quid a month well spent! Lol!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Read the following quickly because I'm bound to get a ban from admin for telling the truth.

But it's not the truth is it?

People meet every day. People talk to those that they're interested in, not just because someone asks to.

Yes, some put 'fab for....' on their photos but I'll let you in on a little secret. You don't have to. You can simply pass them by. 🤷‍♂️

Oh but it is.....

Not mine, and not the truth for plenty.

Your experience is yours. Not anyone else's. I've been here 17 years and have never experienced the negativity that some seem to, so maybe it's not necessarily a site issue. 🤷‍♂️

We're all responsible for our own success and failures here. If it was purely a site problem then everyone would be experiencing the same, surely? 🤔

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"More the fact if ya havent been verified ya dont get looked at altho any new female site supporter with no pics or anything gets verified within an hour or so dosent make sense! "

People may well look. You won't know though because the majority of women and couples browse in stealth mode.

If they don't see anything of interest they won't get in touch. When there's an abundance of well crafted profiles with detailed text and a number of varied and interesting photos, are they likely to message those, or a profile that has little but dick pics and a line or two that essentially says 'looking for fun/up for anything/ask me to find out more' ? 🤔

Because there's literally hundreds, if not thousands of those out there that aren't doing themselves any favours in terms of appealing to their desired audience.

There's every opportunity given to stand out. It's nobody's fault if someone chooses not to bother attempting to do just that. If people want others to message them then maybe a little more time and effort on a profile might help.

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By *il-widgeMan
2 weeks ago

Stoke on Trent

"Read the following quickly because I'm bound to get a ban from admin for telling the truth.

But it's not the truth is it?

People meet every day. People talk to those that they're interested in, not just because someone asks to.

Yes, some put 'fab for....' on their photos but I'll let you in on a little secret. You don't have to. You can simply pass them by. 🤷‍♂️

Oh but it is.....

Not mine, and not the truth for plenty.

Your experience is yours. Not anyone else's. I've been here 17 years and have never experienced the negativity that some seem to, so maybe it's not necessarily a site issue. 🤷‍♂️

We're all responsible for our own success and failures here. If it was purely a site problem then everyone would be experiencing the same, surely? 🤔"

I'm 3 months in and having a great time....

met lots of great people, attended my first social at the weekend, and made lots of new fab friends, who hopefully I will get to know on a more intimate basis. My one piece of advice is....don't be a dick(not suggesting you are btw) I send quite a few messages and pics (no nob shots) and leave it, If I get a reply great, if not so what. I've had some of the abuse women and couples have been sent, so its no wonder new blokes get a hard time, just don't be one of them guys....good luck pal 👍

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By *iss NaturalWoman
2 weeks ago

Manchester

"Read the following quickly because I'm bound to get a ban from admin for telling the truth.

But it's not the truth is it?

People meet every day. People talk to those that they're interested in, not just because someone asks to.

Yes, some put 'fab for....' on their photos but I'll let you in on a little secret. You don't have to. You can simply pass them by. 🤷‍♂️

Oh but it is.....

Not mine, and not the truth for plenty.

Your experience is yours. Not anyone else's. I've been here 17 years and have never experienced the negativity that some seem to, so maybe it's not necessarily a site issue. 🤷‍♂️

We're all responsible for our own success and failures here. If it was purely a site problem then everyone would be experiencing the same, surely? 🤔

I'm 3 months in and having a great time....

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By *959femxCouple
2 weeks ago

Weston super mare

The profile that amused me the most was this . Nice male 44 single 6’2” dark hair blue eyes ( been told not bad looking )athletic build average + package discreet friendly gsoh likes to socialise not just here for notches on the bedpost. looking

for nice couple ( Age looks not important ) similar outlook for possible ongoing friendship.

The next sentence I’ve put in bold for effect NO TIMEWASTERS NOT INTO ENDLESS MESSAGING .

The joys of the block button !

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By *ryton 123TV/TS
2 weeks ago

Chatham

Spoke to a few newbies offering a nothing in return meet with no pressure to try it. But most just don't want to meet,

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