FabSwingers.com forum: Going to my first event as a single guy

By *di3491 OP Man
20 weeks ago

Sandbach

Completely new to this any advice would be much appreciated and If you want to rate me privately I’d also appreciate your feedback

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By *rdere OpusCouple
20 weeks ago

Brum - ish

What type of event is it - social or club?

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By *oxycouple28Couple
20 weeks ago

bexley

Easy....be yourself. Dont be a sleezebag and/or the wanking dead.

Be yourself, show that your a nice guy and speak to BOTH people in the couple and treat both with respect. Many men have been written off by us by ignoring the male half....

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
20 weeks ago

Coventry

I started of in clubs as a single guy. Personally my advice is start with the social areas and treat people as you'd treat them anywhere else. Smile, make eye contact, make conversation. Just concentrate on getting a feel for the club scene and explore what's going on, rather than putting any great pressure on yourself to do or achieve anything. See your first night as recce, rather than a full on attack. Don't get lead astray by what other guys are doing or join the ranks of the wanking dead. Just be your own man and do as you feel is right.

I would say the biggest skill in the club scene is being able to read a room. I would also say (especially if it doesn't come naturally) the more you go the better you get. And sometimes people aren't forthcoming. So if you thing you've read the room right just be politely frank (which is another skill) with your intentions. Maybe just say you are really enjoying their company and would they like to take things to another space. If you've read it right they're most likely to say yes. If not, no harm, if you're respectful people will give you a polite no thanks, no harm done. The one thing you can't expect to do is sit back, don't interact and expect anyone to come to you.

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By *arryandhedgehogCouple
20 weeks ago

Essex

It can be nerve racking but be as socialable as possible say hello to people, smile at them, even if it’s just from across the room. As already said don’t follow people around or get to close when they are playing if you haven’t been asked to. The main work for single guys is done outside the play areas with talking to people. Hope you enjoy the event.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
20 weeks ago

Central

It's potentially better to start at a club, as the management will vet and brief you and support, should you have questions etc. a private party may expect a guy to already be house trained.

But, overall it's really simple stuff. Be respectful to everyone. Talk and socialise and anything else is a bonus. Always get consent before any touching. Get to read body language - look for signs of encouragement and if you don't get it, consider giving people space and not cramping their style and preventing them doing what they want to do - it's not all about you, a group is largely about others, not you. Move around and get noticed.

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By *rafter69Man
20 weeks ago

upminster

Im aching to go and I am really sociable can talk with anyone but im still hesitant to give in and go.

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By *elkieWoman
20 weeks ago

Durham

First event: you have an easy icebreaker. Tell people you’re new, first night, ask if they have any advice for a newbie, then listen.

Avoid talking about work or football or kids. Holidays is a safe one.

It’s often easier to get conversations started in the smoking area or the bar. You’re networking, looking to build friendships and meet people, not necessarily to play. Be friendly rather than overtly flirty.

If you’re watching play, stand where you can see the lady’s face, especially if you think you want to be invited in. Don’t grunt, commentate or criticise.

Wear your locker key on the hand you don’t wank with.

Swinging is great cos you’d meet a load of people you won’t otherwise cross paths with. Take people as you find them - there’s a whole load of good people you want as swinging friends but maybe not as playmates, and some of these new friends will have friends you DO want to fuck.

Carry latex free condoms that fit you. It’s great when that happens

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By *elkieWoman
20 weeks ago

Durham

That should have said easier to get a chat going in the smoking area or hot tub THAN the bar, sorry

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By *he MinionMan
20 weeks ago

My advice to a new single guy...

Go with the knowledge that you will not be having sex tonight.

Be polite and curious.

Speak to both people in a couple, not just the incredibly sexy one.

Do not drink too much.

Dont be a dick.

Nobody there owes you anything.

The females there are not Sex Workers. Dont treat them like they are.

Not every one will like you, some could even be down right rude even offensive to you.

You will not have sex there.

Dont follow the "wanking dead" (The groups of single men that rush to the glory holes or anywhere a female ventures alone or even with her partner - or continulusly dping the club curcuit route in the hope of seeing something)

Remember, you wont be having sex there.

But... if you do, its the icing on the cake.

Good luck

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By *he MinionMan
20 weeks ago

Key on none wanking hand 👏👏🤣

Brilliant but so obviously overlooked by many, or they just like that jingle sound 🤣

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By *irsSubCouple
20 weeks ago

Darlington

"Key on none wanking hand 👏👏🤣

Brilliant but so obviously overlooked by many, or they just like that jingle sound 🤣"

There's nothing hotter than trying to play with the jingle jangle of locker keys interspersed with guys talking about how bad the traffic was on the way to the club

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By *he MinionMan
20 weeks ago

"Key on none wanking hand 👏👏🤣

Brilliant but so obviously overlooked by many, or they just like that jingle sound 🤣

There's nothing hotter than trying to play with the jingle jangle of locker keys interspersed with guys talking about how bad the traffic was on the way to the club"

🤣

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

The same etiquette rules that apply in a snooker club work here.

No waving you cue around willy nilly

No ball touching: risk of foul

Don't put people of their stroke

Keep your distance, when needed

Enjoy yourself and ask to be introduced to the regulars.

Bring your own post club soft drinks, Lucozade is a game changer for that drive home.

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By *orny PTMan
20 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Easy....be yourself. Dont be a sleezebag and/or the wanking dead.

Be yourself, show that your a nice guy and speak to BOTH people in the couple and treat both with respect. Many men have been written off by us by ignoring the male half...."

So true. The male is her spare eyes and second opinion, not boss. In the same way that women usually ask their best friends, who are female.

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By *irsSubCouple
19 weeks ago

Darlington

"Easy....be yourself. Dont be a sleezebag and/or the wanking dead.

Be yourself, show that your a nice guy and speak to BOTH people in the couple and treat both with respect. Many men have been written off by us by ignoring the male half....

So true. The male is her spare eyes and second opinion, not boss. In the same way that women usually ask their best friends, who are female."

This is so true, we are both quite chatty, and both of us have "saved" the other from people who were were chatting to but weren't interested in. You know when your partner isn't feeling it but outwardly seems fine, the little glances or changes in tone. To some singles it could viewed as the other partner being controlling etc whereas in reality it isn't.

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By *igun666Man
19 weeks ago

Coventry

Have wanted to go to a club myself but find it hard to go by myself as I really don't know what to expect

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

" Have wanted to go to a club myself but find it hard to go by myself as I really don't know what to expect"

Email your club of choice and have a this chat with them. A good club will win you over ASAP, as they need to keep up the footfall and club dynamic.

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By *iss DevilWoman
19 weeks ago

Bedford

" Have wanted to go to a club myself but find it hard to go by myself as I really don't know what to expect

Email your club of choice and have a this chat with them. A good club will win you over ASAP, as they need to keep up the footfall and club dynamic."

Also, some clubs have chat groups, so they should be able to direct you to those. That way, you may get to know some people before attending.

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By *elkieWoman
19 weeks ago

Durham

"Key on none wanking hand 👏👏🤣

Brilliant but so obviously overlooked by many, or they just like that jingle sound 🤣"

My theory is that they want you to watch. But they’re also always the guys who stand at the muff end.

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By *oiluvfunMan
19 weeks ago

Penrith

"Completely new to this any advice would be much appreciated and If you want to rate me privately I’d also appreciate your feedback "

If you’re going to a club as a single guy, the best piece of advice I can offer is; go with a female friend

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By *orny PTMan
19 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Completely new to this any advice would be much appreciated and If you want to rate me privately I’d also appreciate your feedback

If you’re going to a club as a single guy, the best piece of advice I can offer is; go with a female friend

Some see that as great advice, others see it as a cheap ticket entry and really don't like it.

I like the firat group: where can I find her?

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By *oiluvfunMan
19 weeks ago

Penrith

"Completely new to this any advice would be much appreciated and If you want to rate me privately I’d also appreciate your feedback

If you’re going to a club as a single guy, the best piece of advice I can offer is; go with a female friend

Some see that as great advice, others see it as a cheap ticket entry and really don't like it.

I like the first group: where can I find her?"

Yep, I hear that all the time from women; the cheap ticket angle

I would happily pay the solo guy entry fee, and she can pay the 57p with £10 cash back (National club entry fee for a solo female). The difference between the 'Moses parting the waves' experience as a solo guy in a club, to the reception you receive as a couple, is frankly, quite disappointing.....

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