FabSwingers.com forum: Failed dates and ghosting.

By *nterprizeABC OP Man
over a year ago

Aberystwyth

Feel free to rip thisd part, tell me I'm entitled, need help, etc etc. I'm getting this off my chest.

I spoke to someone about meeting up. I'd been to socials all over Wales and wanted to try seeing someone more local. It's been a dry spell for the past 5 years. Just talking as friends would be nice- alot of people I know have moved away.

Unfortunately, something went wrong. I asked them if I could send them my phone number via-Facebook DM- I'm always worried about standing people up if I'm late- without realising that if I was late I could just tell them on facebook. I think I freaked them out and they've blocked me completely.

I don't want to sound like I'm obsessing over anyone, but this one has hurt more than it should. Probably because I wanted to do everything right and went overboard. Asking to DM someone is entitled and possessive. Creepy.

Then after THAT someone liked me on Tinder and then ghosted me completely. I asked them if they wanted to meet up for coffee- too far too fast. I guess that was possessive too. I thought that most people didn't like a back and forth online- I can never think of anything to say unless I'm with someone in person. All tinder convos have dwindled to silence and then I've been unliked.

I'm getting tired of realising its my fault when this happens, but shutting myself up in a ball and not socialising at all isn't possible for me. I've tried. I have no idea what to do. Is there a support group for recluses?

Sorry for the whinge. I wanted to get it off my chest whilst also acknowledging it was my fault completely. That's another person I've let down. I wish I could go a week or two without someone feeling pain because of me. I'm fed up with being the problem.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

Who on earth, and indeed, why on earth would anyone intersperse themselves between Fab and Facebook™/Messenger? Why didn't you suggest exchanging phone numbers via Fab 'mail'?

I'm a slow burn and I chat for weeks and weeks and weeks, months...before I meet for a social, and even then it's usually at their behest (with a little coaxing from me).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why even suggest Facebook?

Access to all their life and them to yours

If someone asked me off here to give them those details as the only way to converse would be an instant block

There’s many other apps you can use to mine the chat off here

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I would be freaked by someone wanting to contact me via Facebook

My all means offer to swap phone numbers, but why not do so via the messaging system on Fab?

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By *nterprizeABC OP Man
over a year ago

Aberystwyth

It was a facebook group- Polyamorous UK. I don't know if they are aware of Fab.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

"It was a facebook group- Polyamorous UK. I don't know if they are aware of Fab."

•

If you don't know then you err on the side of caution.✔️

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By *ildatheart30Couple
over a year ago

Gorebridge

I would be more upset with a stranger seeing my personal information on FB than having my phone number so it's strange to me , perhaps they weren't legit and didn't want you to phone them? At the end of the day the right person wouldn't be upset by this, people exchange phone numbers all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op i think you need to sit down and re think everything ''swinging'' and how it works with most people...

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

It's not a whinge, you've had a run of bad luck and it's getting you down.

Don't over think things.

Just a suggestion but maybe try telegram or the like rather than suggesting Facebook.

I wish you well.

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By *ature male OldhamMan
over a year ago

Royton nr Oldham

I'm always happy to exchange numbers as it's a one to one situation...I would never allow someone to access my FB account until I'm completely sure of them as a person.

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

I'd block instantly too if anyone wanted access to my FB. I have photos of my child, family, friends etc. Just no.

I don't even give my number out before a social, my preference cos men kept spam calling me at all hours of the day or night. Every time they got horny or d*unk. I don't use kik, tele or snap for the same reason.

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By *ucy loo43Woman
over a year ago

kettering

My username is that, a username only. I don’t give out any personal details but what I have done is set a telegram account up so if I feel comfortable with who I’m talking with I’ll move to that platform. You can call, text etc on there but again my number is hidden. If you asked for my Facebook details you would have been blocked as well. That’s private so don’t be offended just learn from this and move forward with a new approach 💋

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