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Question for the guys

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
21 weeks ago

Do any of you suffer from depression and if so does getting no or rejection messages on here help or hinder your mental health

As at the minute I find women to be incredibly rude and cruel on here

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By *ogandher1962Couple
21 weeks ago

Reading

Perhaps if you’re suffering from depression OP it would be an idea to have a break so that rejections don’t trigger you further?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
21 weeks ago

East Sussex

I'd echo the above. Do what you need to improve your mental health then return refreshed.

Best wishes to you

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By *exagon9Man
21 weeks ago

Bristol

I recognise this is probably not the kind of response you had hoped for, but here goes… I left for quite a while for this kind of reason. My experience is that fab is really not the place to be a single man with anything but robust mental health. Some blokes seem to thrive, but the odds are so hugely against you. Maybe try other things if this is feeling difficult.

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

My humble opinion is lower your expectations… I’m 63…. And can get no response from just about anything I respond to, even if I just send a supportive message.

I love to chat and enjoy that, made contacts and get satisfaction from that.

I agree with what’s been said previously… if you aren’t in a great state of mind… get off here and talk to someone… I’m actually located quite close to you and would be happy to talk to you… offers there

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By *uckurcumMan
21 weeks ago

Bishop Auckland

Unfortunately these types of site,or most for that matter give some people freedom to be as rude and vile as they like,so unless your either teflon coated or able to laugh it off and move on,they can be the wrong places for anyone with vulnerable emotions and issues ..

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

women are not rude they are just not interested and they owe nobody anything not even a reply ..

you have to realize its the sea verses a tiny pool men being the sea women and couples being the tiny pool ... add in all the men who pretend to be women or couples then in fact there are very few real ones left ... then add id the abuse or stalkerish behavior some men give when told no thanks lots of me cant handle rejection yet its a scene based on selection and rejection mainly rejection..

as others say if your unwell and fab is affecting that then take a break at least ... its a lifestyle for the few not the majority

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By *iss DevilWoman
21 weeks ago

Bedford

OP, you have already had loads of useful advice. Are you sure this is the best place for you to be? You are just one of thousands of men on here and most of them won't find what they are looking for on here alone. Have a think about your reasons why you joined this site. Was it to chat to people? Find company? Find random people to fuck? To get into the lifestyle? You may have said that on your profile but I can't see it as it's hidden.

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By *ack1971Man
21 weeks ago

Cork


"Do any of you suffer from depression and if so does getting no or rejection messages on here help or hinder your mental health

As at the minute I find women to be incredibly rude and cruel on here "

I think it has to be acknowledged that you highlighted an issue here, mental health.

That is the key takeaway point here. We could throw that on anything and hold others responsible, but others are not the solution to the problem. The problem is handling depression successfully. That's your battle.

You did right by putting it out there, even if your follow up attack on women is wrong. And let's be clear about this, you attacked women. That's never ok at any time.

If you're suffering, take a breath for a moment. You know you're suffering. You've acknowledged it.

Depression is a serious problem for a lot of guys, and men have a terrible way of communicating that effectively.

Depression distorts actual reality. How others say things and how we receive it are different perspectives. It's how we receive it is important and the fallout of our reaction.

Always, always, always, remember inside of all of this is you in there, somewhere. Fight for that person.

Put down the social media and make an appointment with your Dr., and follow through. This is the steps you should take to look after you.

It matters for you, and others. Best of luck.

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By *ogandher1962Couple
21 weeks ago

Reading


"Do any of you suffer from depression and if so does getting no or rejection messages on here help or hinder your mental health

As at the minute I find women to be incredibly rude and cruel on here

I think it has to be acknowledged that you highlighted an issue here, mental health.

That is the key takeaway point here. We could throw that on anything and hold others responsible, but others are not the solution to the problem. The problem is handling depression successfully. That's your battle.

You did right by putting it out there, even if your follow up attack on women is wrong. And let's be clear about this, you attacked women. That's never ok at any time.

If you're suffering, take a breath for a moment. You know you're suffering. You've acknowledged it.

Depression is a serious problem for a lot of guys, and men have a terrible way of communicating that effectively.

Depression distorts actual reality. How others say things and how we receive it are different perspectives. It's how we receive it is important and the fallout of our reaction.

Always, always, always, remember inside of all of this is you in there, somewhere. Fight for that person.

Put down the social media and make an appointment with your Dr., and follow through. This is the steps you should take to look after you.

It matters for you, and others. Best of luck.

"

Well said

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By *exagon9Man
21 weeks ago

Bristol


"Do any of you suffer from depression and if so does getting no or rejection messages on here help or hinder your mental health

As at the minute I find women to be incredibly rude and cruel on here

I think it has to be acknowledged that you highlighted an issue here, mental health.

That is the key takeaway point here. We could throw that on anything and hold others responsible, but others are not the solution to the problem. The problem is handling depression successfully. That's your battle.

You did right by putting it out there, even if your follow up attack on women is wrong. And let's be clear about this, you attacked women. That's never ok at any time.

If you're suffering, take a breath for a moment. You know you're suffering. You've acknowledged it.

Depression is a serious problem for a lot of guys, and men have a terrible way of communicating that effectively.

Depression distorts actual reality. How others say things and how we receive it are different perspectives. It's how we receive it is important and the fallout of our reaction.

Always, always, always, remember inside of all of this is you in there, somewhere. Fight for that person.

Put down the social media and make an appointment with your Dr., and follow through. This is the steps you should take to look after you.

It matters for you, and others. Best of luck.

"

While I mostly agree with the sentiment of your post I would politely disagree with the assertion that OP is ‘attacking’ anyone. Likewise, while many of the things you say are supported by widely available evidence I think you’re being a bit harsh in how you have responded. There’s lots OP didn’t say, for all we know he’s already getting help (for example), I’m not entirely sure the accusatory way you reply is especially helpful, even if it was (I hope) done with the best of intentions.

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By *ogandher1962Couple
21 weeks ago

Reading


"Do any of you suffer from depression and if so does getting no or rejection messages on here help or hinder your mental health

As at the minute I find women to be incredibly rude and cruel on here

I think it has to be acknowledged that you highlighted an issue here, mental health.

That is the key takeaway point here. We could throw that on anything and hold others responsible, but others are not the solution to the problem. The problem is handling depression successfully. That's your battle.

You did right by putting it out there, even if your follow up attack on women is wrong. And let's be clear about this, you attacked women. That's never ok at any time.

If you're suffering, take a breath for a moment. You know you're suffering. You've acknowledged it.

Depression is a serious problem for a lot of guys, and men have a terrible way of communicating that effectively.

Depression distorts actual reality. How others say things and how we receive it are different perspectives. It's how we receive it is important and the fallout of our reaction.

Always, always, always, remember inside of all of this is you in there, somewhere. Fight for that person.

Put down the social media and make an appointment with your Dr., and follow through. This is the steps you should take to look after you.

It matters for you, and others. Best of luck.

While I mostly agree with the sentiment of your post I would politely disagree with the assertion that OP is ‘attacking’ anyone. Likewise, while many of the things you say are supported by widely available evidence I think you’re being a bit harsh in how you have responded. There’s lots OP didn’t say, for all we know he’s already getting help (for example), I’m not entirely sure the accusatory way you reply is especially helpful, even if it was (I hope) done with the best of intentions."

The OP's Status before he hid his profile was very disrespectful to women.

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

I see the angle of blaming women now… definitely do not agree with that…

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
21 weeks ago

Please let me explain I have no issue with women but when you have people messaging you like

"I would never touch a guy like you my dogs arsehole looks better then you " so some of the other crap that has been said then yes it does feel like a kick to the stomach I wish everyone the best as I am a live and let live person but sometimes the comment I have had do get to me

But I take under advicement that my word did not come across the best however.

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By *yfer2021Man
21 weeks ago

London & Midlands

Mental health needs to be dealt with in isolation from fab first.

When you return I'd suggest setting expectations lower. I think Fab is similar to online dating, the top 10% of guys (however you define that) get the vast majority of attention from women. It's just the unfortunate reality of it. If I message a woman, I don't expect a response given the amount of women saying they have 1000s of unread messages. If I do get a response...great! If not...get on with my life.

However, women responding rudely to polite messages you've sent seems unnecessary and hopefully doesn't happen too often.

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago


"Do any of you suffer from depression and if so does getting no or rejection messages on here help or hinder your mental health

As at the minute I find women to be incredibly rude and cruel on here "

No one is obligated to respond to you, if you're not getting any responses, you may need to change your approach, maybe look at getting better pictures taken, try meeting people IRL instead of on FAB, switch up your BIO to be funny or charming

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago


"OP, you have already had loads of useful advice. Are you sure this is the best place for you to be? You are just one of thousands of men on here and most of them won't find what they are looking for on here alone. Have a think about your reasons why you joined this site. Was it to chat to people? Find company? Find random people to fuck? To get into the lifestyle? You may have said that on your profile but I can't see it as it's hidden. "

Agreed! Best way to meet and talk to women is in the clubs and at socials, be old fashioned and offer to buy drinks, stand out from the 1000s of men on here

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By *ensual_SamMan
21 weeks ago

Bracknell

Yea it's pretty sh*t at times. Definitely have feelings of rejection and low worth. I've all but given up on meeting someone and just use this site for general chit chat and forum interactions.

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By *igad999Man
21 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Tbf I haven’t had much here in way of meets. But met loads of amazing men women and couples via chat.

Just chatting to people about everything and anything has been amazing and does it for me.

Tell things about my wife and life and hear theirs.

And even after a crappy day chat to a few and lightens up my evening

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By *ucka39Man
21 weeks ago

Newcastle

I see depression something that is in reality and using anything else shouldn't be an impact on this as the two aren't connected. You have reality and media and one caused it

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By *ntimate affairMan
21 weeks ago

hull and surrounding area

I have suffered depression for way longer then i can remember.

I have good days and bad days! But i dont think fab makes anything worse.. if anything i enjoy the friendly people on here, it makes my day to chat to friends old and new.

Hopefully you can manage your depression and not let it manage you OP 💪👍

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

id like to add as well that couples and women should be remined that being horrible back is not ok best to just block and delete ... no need to be nasty or rude even if they have been to you

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By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

Currently under a suicide prevention unit so know all about it at the moment

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By *outhernC0mfortMan
21 weeks ago

Cumbria

I think a goldfish doesn't know it's in a bowl of water until someone taps on the bowl.

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By *WB85Man
21 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I have the occasional blip in my mental health.

My swinger journey is now very different. Im not desperate to send messages in the hope of a response.

Im more active on the forum and find people that way.

If im having a bad patch, fab gets ignored and i focus on my real life.

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By *ichaelsmyMan
21 weeks ago

doiglas

i suffer with mental health, but being on here means that i am probably more normal i think.

rejection is not an issue for me

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