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"What makes you judge and jury , block and keep shut " Tbh I'm not judging her or anything, if it was anyone else I wouldn't even bat an eyelid to it, however this is one of my best mates that I've know for a long time. | |||
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"Is her face pic on her profile ? " No it's not, it might be in her friends only pics though... but I 100 percent know it's her. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " . If you know she has a few verifications then it seems you have viewed her profile.There is also the possibility that she has viewed yours.If she has viewed yours perhaps it maybe worth arranging a social to discuss to see if there is a way forward.Personally I would block her and say nothing to her or your friend. | |||
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"Arrange a meet. Maybe it isn't her." It's 100 percent her, too much of a coincidence that someone else would have a really distinctive feature in the same area. | |||
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"I would just block and move on,You have been put in a difficult position. If it was the other way round and you had seen your friend on here cheating on his wife would you tell her ? " No i wouldn't, that's a really good point | |||
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"I would just block and move on,You have been put in a difficult position. If it was the other way round and you had seen your friend on here cheating on his wife would you tell her ? "  | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " Mind your own business Cheating is immoral but not illegal | |||
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"I would just block and move on,You have been put in a difficult position. If it was the other way round and you had seen your friend on here cheating on his wife would you tell her ? " An excellent point. | |||
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"Do nothing unless you feel compelled to. In which case speak to her. After that leave it alone. " I'm just going to try and put it to the back of my mind and not say anything. Everyone's right, it isn't my business and I don't know the full ins and outs of it. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? Mind your own business Cheating is immoral but not illegal " Very true | |||
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"How about actually being a human friend... Call your friend and see if he wants to catch up with you he might be struggling with something but doesn't feel he has support to talk to anyone. If he says nothing to talk about I'd block her and distance yourself from them both in the situation and count it as a friendship lost. No point in rumbling feathers you can't prove. He might know and be in on it. You might not be as close if a friend as you thought. Why would you know her body and be looking and get accused of something you've not done." Thank you for your reply. I spoke to him 2 days ago and we do speak about most things. The idea that he may be in on it went through my head as well and it's one of the reasons I'm going to leave it. | |||
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"Our of interest and in general terms how do you know 100% it's her?" Very specific tattoo and birthmark. | |||
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"Our of interest and in general terms how do you know 100% it's her? Very specific tattoo and birthmark. " Is it possible that someone has used her pictures to set an account up? I always think anyone who wants to stay under the radar will conceal distinguishing marks. | |||
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"Our of interest and in general terms how do you know 100% it's her? Very specific tattoo and birthmark. Is it possible that someone has used her pictures to set an account up? I always think anyone who wants to stay under the radar will conceal distinguishing marks. " Could be possible, however I'm unsure how they got the revealing pics and then there is also the verifications. Tbh I did wonder why she wouldn't conceal the distinguishing marks, but i suppose if you don't expect anyone you know to find your profile maybe you don't think about it. | |||
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"I would just block and move on,You have been put in a difficult position. If it was the other way round and you had seen your friend on here cheating on his wife would you tell her ? No i wouldn't, that's a really good point" Ah the old double standard. Fine for men? But not for women? And for all you know, her husband may know and be fine with it. | |||
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"Does your friend know about your lifestyle , if the answer is no , you don't even mention it , as people have said there may be more to things than meets the eye as in privately , he may be a cuckold and it is their "thing" , so your friend keeps things to himself , If I were you forget about it and move on . " This is the thing, he knows exactly what me and my gf have got up to, we've chatted about it a lot. | |||
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"I would just block and move on,You have been put in a difficult position. If it was the other way round and you had seen your friend on here cheating on his wife would you tell her ? No i wouldn't, that's a really good point Ah the old double standard. Fine for men? But not for women? And for all you know, her husband may know and be fine with it." So just to clarify from my side, the double standard on my side is not to do with Gender, it's more to do with that he's the one I'm friends with and have known a long time... I have no hang ups about what men and women should get up to. But yeah I'm def just going to stay out of it, that's why I'm glad I spoke on here rather than making a rash decision. | |||
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"Would you want your friend to tell you if he found your wife presumably cheating on you?" Tbh my me and my gf are into the swinging/cuckold scene, we used to have a couples profile... but if we weren't i probably wouldn't want to know. | |||
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"How about actually being a human friend... Call your friend and see if he wants to catch up with you he might be struggling with something but doesn't feel he has support to talk to anyone. If he says nothing to talk about I'd block her and distance yourself from them both in the situation and count it as a friendship lost. No point in rumbling feathers you can't prove. He might know and be in on it. You might not be as close if a friend as you thought. Why would you know her body and be looking and get accused of something you've not done. Thank you for your reply. I spoke to him 2 days ago and we do speak about most things. The idea that he may be in on it went through my head as well and it's one of the reasons I'm going to leave it. " Yeah that's the best approach. Who knows you might can join. That's how I prefer ALL OF MY couple interactions..friends that get benefits | |||
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"You need to find a way to inform your friend, if you don't then stop calling yourself his best mate. Think of yourself as his friend first and swinger later. The comments asking you to keep shut are obviously biased as it's coming from a swinging community. By speaking to your friend you may save him for heartache and other kind of troubles later. Imagine you not saying anything and he finds out in the worse possible way and ends up taking his life or going in depression or she ends up taking him to cleaners, would you be able to live with yourself knowing you could have done something." It's not his marriage nor his fault how two married couples don't communicate their needs or requirements. Nor is it his conscience imagine being blamed for "lying about their perfect marriage" and having HIS LIFE ruined by something that didn't involve him when he was being genuinely concerned. People ALSO commit suicide after being blamed for things they didn't do or create. | |||
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"You need to find a way to inform your friend, if you don't then stop calling yourself his best mate. Think of yourself as his friend first and swinger later. The comments asking you to keep shut are obviously biased as it's coming from a swinging community. By speaking to your friend you may save him for heartache and other kind of troubles later. Imagine you not saying anything and he finds out in the worse possible way and ends up taking his life or going in depression or she ends up taking him to cleaners, would you be able to live with yourself knowing you could have done something." None of that would be his fault. *IF* it happened | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " Block and move on. However when you see her next at your mates house drop a hint or two about adult clubs and the like . Drop words like fab, judge her reaction. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? Block and move on. However when you see her next at your mates house drop a hint or two about adult clubs and the like . Drop words like fab, judge her reaction." A good shout actually | |||
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"Mind your own business" So if this was your wife, and you didn't know about it. You'd be happy with your close mates knowing and not at least trying to bring it up sensitively with you? It might make things awkward for a moment if he does know, and it could damage the friendship but it seems selfish to me to prioritise the maintenance of your friendship over something potentially life changing that they should be aware off. | |||
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"She deserves a private life just as much as you do. " .totally agree ,leave her be,,, | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " I'll tell you exactly what you do. 1) Screen shot EVERYTHING. 2) Confront her. 4) Tell her if she does not tell him, you will (going by what is said on the profile) and you have all the recipts to show what she has been up to! For everyone in this forum saying "mind your own business or block and move on".... What???? I'm sorry but if I found out my so called friend knew my wife was cheating and he turned a blind eye, then he's no freind of mine. Cheating is cheating and it's not on! Stop making excuses. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? I'll tell you exactly what you do. 1) Screen shot EVERYTHING. 2) Confront her. 4) Tell her if she does not tell him, you will (going by what is said on the profile) and you have all the recipts to show what she has been up to! For everyone in this forum saying "mind your own business or block and move on".... What???? I'm sorry but if I found out my so called friend knew my wife was cheating and he turned a blind eye, then he's no freind of mine. Cheating is cheating and it's not on! Stop making excuses. " He doesn't *know* she's cheating. He's assumed from seeing a profile on here that she is. Judging from the number of posts complaining of cat fish profiles I'd at least want to be sure I had full knowledge before throwing a bomb into someone else's relationship. Supposing he does 'confront' her and she has no idea that someone is using her images or it's actually her partner pretending to be a single woman, or he knows she's on here and gets off on her pretending he doesn't? What then? You simply can't go around thinking you know what's going on in someone else's life, because 9 times out of 10 you're wrong. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " This is not going to end well whatever you do. When this blows up the choice you need to make is if you don't tell him you can never reveal what you know to anyone ever. | |||
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"I think this will be what I end up doing and just let the chips fall where they may. " A.good choice. | |||
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"Personally I’d speak to her first because you don’t know all the ins and outs of their personal life’s he may be ok with the situation but if you can’t do that ignore what you’ve seen as your mate might not like to hear whats been going on from you " This has been my experience. I cornered her and told her to end an affair or come clean with my friend She did neither. Some time later they split up and he found someone decent who he is happy with. I feel I can still look my friend in the eye. He has no idea what I knew and I will never say. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? I'll tell you exactly what you do. 1) Screen shot EVERYTHING. 2) Confront her. 4) Tell her if she does not tell him, you will (going by what is said on the profile) and you have all the recipts to show what she has been up to! For everyone in this forum saying "mind your own business or block and move on".... What???? I'm sorry but if I found out my so called friend knew my wife was cheating and he turned a blind eye, then he's no freind of mine. Cheating is cheating and it's not on! Stop making excuses. He doesn't *know* she's cheating. He's assumed from seeing a profile on here that she is. Judging from the number of posts complaining of cat fish profiles I'd at least want to be sure I had full knowledge before throwing a bomb into someone else's relationship. Supposing he does 'confront' her and she has no idea that someone is using her images or it's actually her partner pretending to be a single woman, or he knows she's on here and gets off on her pretending he doesn't? What then? You simply can't go around thinking you know what's going on in someone else's life, because 9 times out of 10 you're wrong. " Did I read a different post? Op stated it was verified from meets and that the account indicates he has no idea whats going on! There appears to be no catfishing going on if the account has multiple verifications and if it really is her then I stand by what i said. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? I'll tell you exactly what you do. 1) Screen shot EVERYTHING. 2) Confront her. 4) Tell her if she does not tell him, you will (going by what is said on the profile) and you have all the recipts to show what she has been up to! For everyone in this forum saying "mind your own business or block and move on".... What???? I'm sorry but if I found out my so called friend knew my wife was cheating and he turned a blind eye, then he's no freind of mine. Cheating is cheating and it's not on! Stop making excuses. He doesn't *know* she's cheating. He's assumed from seeing a profile on here that she is. Judging from the number of posts complaining of cat fish profiles I'd at least want to be sure I had full knowledge before throwing a bomb into someone else's relationship. Supposing he does 'confront' her and she has no idea that someone is using her images or it's actually her partner pretending to be a single woman, or he knows she's on here and gets off on her pretending he doesn't? What then? You simply can't go around thinking you know what's going on in someone else's life, because 9 times out of 10 you're wrong. Did I read a different post? Op stated it was verified from meets and that the account indicates he has no idea whats going on! There appears to be no catfishing going on if the account has multiple verifications and if it really is her then I stand by what i said. " No we read the same post but interpreted it differently, which is kind of my point really | |||
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"None of your business block and move on if it offends you "Agreed | |||
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"It's quite hard to believe that a woman would set up a profile showing her birthmark and easily identifiable tattoo and write "my husband doesn't know I'm on here". It's almost like she is wanting to be "outed" or he is in on it. " Defo in on it , I suspect | |||
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"Thanks everyone for your advise, the common theme is 100 percent to block her and leave it, and tbh I'm going to take that advice. " Well done x | |||
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"It's quite hard to believe that a woman would set up a profile showing her birthmark and easily identifiable tattoo and write "my husband doesn't know I'm on here". It's almost like she is wanting to be "outed" or he is in on it. " Maybe they know about Ops profile and are testing his friendship. I mean that's pretty extreme but.... | |||
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"If my friend was on what they believed to be a monogamous relationship and I saw their partner active on here and getting verifications, I'd let them know what I saw. My friend's health and wellbeing rank higher than the ability to fuck around behind someone's back to me 💜" I’m struggling to understand why so many hear say ignore it. | |||
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"If my friend was on what they believed to be a monogamous relationship and I saw their partner active on here and getting verifications, I'd let them know what I saw. My friend's health and wellbeing rank higher than the ability to fuck around behind someone's back to me 💜 I’m struggling to understand why so many hear say ignore it." Coz many are playing away from home. | |||
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"If my friend was on what they believed to be a monogamous relationship and I saw their partner active on here and getting verifications, I'd let them know what I saw. My friend's health and wellbeing rank higher than the ability to fuck around behind someone's back to me 💜 I’m struggling to understand why so many hear say ignore it." Because they wouldn't want anyone to tell their own spouse what they're up to. | |||
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"If my friend was on what they believed to be a monogamous relationship and I saw their partner active on here and getting verifications, I'd let them know what I saw. My friend's health and wellbeing rank higher than the ability to fuck around behind someone's back to me 💜 I’m struggling to understand why so many hear say ignore it." Because what you see on the internet has a high probability of being false and jumping to conclusions then telling someone's partner those conclusions isn't a good idea. If I was going to do anything I'd speak to the 'guilty' party first. | |||
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"If my friend was on what they believed to be a monogamous relationship and I saw their partner active on here and getting verifications, I'd let them know what I saw. My friend's health and wellbeing rank higher than the ability to fuck around behind someone's back to me 💜 I’m struggling to understand why so many hear say ignore it. Because they wouldn't want anyone to tell their own spouse what they're up to." Is this how far fab has strayed from being a swingers site? | |||
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"If my friend was on what they believed to be a monogamous relationship and I saw their partner active on here and getting verifications, I'd let them know what I saw. My friend's health and wellbeing rank higher than the ability to fuck around behind someone's back to me 💜 I’m struggling to understand why so many hear say ignore it. Because they wouldn't want anyone to tell their own spouse what they're up to. Is this how far fab has strayed from being a swingers site?" It’s still a swingers site, it’s just that the membership has changed | |||
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"Because what you see on the internet has a high probability of being false and jumping to conclusions then telling someone's partner those conclusions isn't a good idea. If I was going to do anything I'd speak to the 'guilty' party first." Why tell them the conclusions? Hey, I'm pretty sure I saw your partner on fab. Is that a thing for you guys? No conclusions drawn. Just sharing relevant information. If their images are being used by a catfish, the partner should know. If they're being cheated on, the friend should know. If they have a don't ask don't tell arrangement, they both should know they're not being discreet enough 💜 | |||
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"Because what you see on the internet has a high probability of being false and jumping to conclusions then telling someone's partner those conclusions isn't a good idea. If I was going to do anything I'd speak to the 'guilty' party first. Why tell them the conclusions? Hey, I'm pretty sure I saw your partner on fab. Is that a thing for you guys? No conclusions drawn. Just sharing relevant information. If their images are being used by a catfish, the partner should know. If they're being cheated on, the friend should know. If they have a don't ask don't tell arrangement, they both should know they're not being discreet enough 💜" Ok but why not speak to the person with the profile? "I see you have a profile on fab, just checking it's really you and not someone using your pictures". A (hopefully) adult conversation could follow. What I don't really understand is the desire to tell the partner first. | |||
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"What happened to the “E” in ENM?" Not everyone has the same code of ethics | |||
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"Thanks everyone for your advise, the common theme is 100 percent to block her and leave it, and tbh I'm going to take that advice. " How will you feel next time you chat to your best friend and he mentions his wife ? | |||
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"Ok but why not speak to the person with the profile? "I see you have a profile on fab, just checking it's really you and not someone using your pictures". A (hopefully) adult conversation could follow. What I don't really understand is the desire to tell the partner first. " Because I'm concerned about my friend. I don't know their partner that well 💜 | |||
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"Ok but why not speak to the person with the profile? "I see you have a profile on fab, just checking it's really you and not someone using your pictures". A (hopefully) adult conversation could follow. What I don't really understand is the desire to tell the partner first. Because I'm concerned about my friend. I don't know their partner that well 💜" Ok. I think my concern would focus on their relationship and if I felt the need take take any action I'd speak to the profile holder, I assume I'd know them well enough to be able to do that. | |||
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"Block her and move on" Absolutely this | |||
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"I would be interested to hear everyone’s takes on this if this was a women saying about a guy who has a wife, I think the majority of replies would not be “block and move on” “none of your business” but more of a “men are disgusting” type view " My response would and has been the same. | |||
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"If OP hadn't seen her on fab and he found out another way, like by catching her kissing someone in public or otherwise, would all the happy fabbers here still say to ignore it? " Yup - none of their business | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " Anooo you said you wouldn’t use it to your advantage BUUUUT hear me out!! You could have a pressure fuck No look, Your on here yourself JUST EXPLORING as your profile says, she’s on here for reasons only known to her, why not approach her and see her side of the story? It’s either that or ignore the fact that you know | |||
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"Ok but why not speak to the person with the profile? "I see you have a profile on fab, just checking it's really you and not someone using your pictures". A (hopefully) adult conversation could follow. What I don't really understand is the desire to tell the partner first. Because I'm concerned about my friend. I don't know their partner that well 💜 Ok. I think my concern would focus on their relationship and if I felt the need take take any action I'd speak to the profile holder, I assume I'd know them well enough to be able to do that." The thread is about a friend's spouse. Not a friend who is on here but hasn't mentioned it to me who happens to be married to another friend. Looking after my friends is important to me. It would be a quiet conversation away from other ears and with someone that I'm happily out to. Letting the other know first just gives them a chance to hide their tracks and fabricate a storyline if they are up to anything nefarious. And if my friend found out while trying to negotiate that that I knew and had kept it from them, I'd absolutely expect them to lose all respect for me as a friend. Why is the relationship your primary concern? Surely that's down to the people directly involved with it, who can make their own decisions based on the facts the have. | |||
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"Ok but why not speak to the person with the profile? "I see you have a profile on fab, just checking it's really you and not someone using your pictures". A (hopefully) adult conversation could follow. What I don't really understand is the desire to tell the partner first. Because I'm concerned about my friend. I don't know their partner that well 💜 Ok. I think my concern would focus on their relationship and if I felt the need take take any action I'd speak to the profile holder, I assume I'd know them well enough to be able to do that. The thread is about a friend's spouse. Not a friend who is on here but hasn't mentioned it to me who happens to be married to another friend. Looking after my friends is important to me. It would be a quiet conversation away from other ears and with someone that I'm happily out to. Letting the other know first just gives them a chance to hide their tracks and fabricate a storyline if they are up to anything nefarious. And if my friend found out while trying to negotiate that that I knew and had kept it from them, I'd absolutely expect them to lose all respect for me as a friend. Why is the relationship your primary concern? Surely that's down to the people directly involved with it, who can make their own decisions based on the facts the have." Facts are the main reason I'm loathe to speak to anyone but the supposed 'guilty' party and I'd be unlikely to do that. I'm not in possession of the facts therefore I wouldn't want to throw a spanner in the works so to speak. Hence me saying their relationship would be my primary concern. I get it, everyone wants to be loyal to their friends, have their back etc. but in the situation described in the op I personally wouldn't get too involved | |||
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"Facts are the main reason I'm loathe to speak to anyone but the supposed 'guilty' party and I'd be unlikely to do that. I'm not in possession of the facts therefore I wouldn't want to throw a spanner in the works so to speak. Hence me saying their relationship would be my primary concern. I get it, everyone wants to be loyal to their friends, have their back etc. but in the situation described in the op I personally wouldn't get too involved" That's fine if that's how you feel. I know if I found out a partner I'd agreed to a monogamous relationship with had been busy fucking around on here, and then I knew someone I considered a good friend had known as much as the OP describes I would absolutely be down both a partner and a friend. It's not about accusations or guilty parties. I'm certainly inclined to assume they're cheating, but I wouldn't be framing it as that in the away from prying eyes conversation about it. Just a simple statement of it looks like your partner is active on fab. There's plenty of possible explanations. But given how open I am about who I am and what I do, I find it unlikely someone I was close to wouldn't have already told me if fab was a part of their relationship, and I don't keep secrets I don't understand the reasons for. | |||
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"I think in this situation Fab’s First Law applies: If a man is cheating, it’s because he’s a c*nt. If a woman is cheating, that’s ok as the reason she’s cheating is clearly because her husband must be a c*nt. Ergo, leave the poor lass alone and keep out of it! "In the situation described here I'd say the same if it was a man supposedly cheating. The op himself said if he saw his friend here he'd say nothing. | |||
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"I think in this situation Fab’s First Law applies: If a man is cheating, it’s because he’s a c*nt. If a woman is cheating, that’s ok as the reason she’s cheating is clearly because her husband must be a c*nt. Ergo, leave the poor lass alone and keep out of it!
In the situation described here I'd say the same if it was a man supposedly cheating. The op himself said if he saw his friend here he'd say nothing. "For clarity on my telling the other party rather than talking to the one that's on here, if it was my friend that I believed to be in a monogamous relationship that was on here solo getting verifications, I'd bring that up with them rather than the partner. It is about who I'm invested in rather than who is 'guilty' or whatever 💜 | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " Do unto her as you would like done unto you, if the situation was reversed x | |||
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"Personally, despite not morally approving your mates wife's behaviour I feel that privacy in the world of swinging is key. " Cheating isn't swinging | |||
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"Block her and move on" i agree | |||
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"OP I get it from the telling your friend angle. Certainly we all know that cheating is NOT swinging. Lets say the roles were reversed and given you would never cheat, but lets just suppose; would you want someone to 'out' you? If you're answer to that is yes then go for it but if not may be just block and move on. " If we can agree that this is morally wrong, where do we draw the line?What should be ignored and what should be addressed? A better comparison might be would I want to be told? Or another comparison, would you trust your friend if they did nothing? | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " Everyone’s on here for their own reasons, don’t judge, just block and move on. If you mention it what good can come out of it?? | |||
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"Hi all, thanks again for all your advise on this. Thought I'd give you all a bit of an update. So far I haven't mentioned anything to either of them. However I'm seeing them both tomorrow evening so I'm going to casually talk about some of the things me and my gf have been up to and see if they give me any inclination that he's in on it or anything else. " I thought you were going to take no action. How about you make a list of what you actually know for certain, by that I mean irrefutable facts and a list of assumptions you've made from those certainties. Put the two side by side and be sure that only list one is what you base any further action on. | |||
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"Hi all, thanks again for all your advise on this. Thought I'd give you all a bit of an update. So far I haven't mentioned anything to either of them. However I'm seeing them both tomorrow evening so I'm going to casually talk about some of the things me and my gf have been up to and see if they give me any inclination that he's in on it or anything else. I thought you were going to take no action. How about you make a list of what you actually know for certain, by that I mean irrefutable facts and a list of assumptions you've made from those certainties. Put the two side by side and be sure that only list one is what you base any further action on." Im still not going to fo anything, however if he gives me that indication he's in on it, then at least I can put it to bed and not think about it anymore. | |||
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"Hi all, thanks again for all your advise on this. Thought I'd give you all a bit of an update. So far I haven't mentioned anything to either of them. However I'm seeing them both tomorrow evening so I'm going to casually talk about some of the things me and my gf have been up to and see if they give me any inclination that he's in on it or anything else. I thought you were going to take no action. How about you make a list of what you actually know for certain, by that I mean irrefutable facts and a list of assumptions you've made from those certainties. Put the two side by side and be sure that only list one is what you base any further action on. Im still not going to fo anything, however if he gives me that indication he's in on it, then at least I can put it to bed and not think about it anymore. " And if he doesn't? | |||
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"Would you want your friend to tell you if he found your wife presumably cheating on you? Tbh my me and my gf are into the swinging/cuckold scene, we used to have a couples profile... but if we weren't i probably wouldn't want to know. " What’s your couples profile? | |||
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"Very tough one. I think I'd be having a general chat with my friend and maybe finding away to introduce Fab into the conversation and see if he knows the site. Potentially even encourage him to check it out as it caters for couples. Drop in that you can search by parameters. Maybe even show him your phone and happen to search up her profile. If your good mates I'm sure you'll gage by his reaction if he's aware of it or not. From there you can decide if you need to spell it out for him or not say anything else and keep the friendship intact. If he knows about it, but is embarrassed to talk about it then leave it. If he doesn't know, I'm sure he will be thankful for knowing. " Good advice and also as some have said it’s strange that she had such identifiable marks in show. Have you thought that maybe they have posted knowing you are on there to try and get the conversation brought up some way with you and your gf? | |||
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"I certainly wouldn’t go around trying to “out” anyone you think you’ve recognised on an adult site such as this. If someone wants to cheat then it’s their issue and not something to pass judgement on, you don’t know what dynamics their relationship might have." In general, sure. I'm not going around trying to out random people who may be recognisable. I disagree with cheating, but it's not my business as long as I'm not involved. The partner of a friend, particularly when my friends are well aware of who I am and what I do and most talk very freely about their own sex lives with me, but that's never been mentioned? That's a different game. And by becoming aware and choosing to withhold that information from someone I care about, that makes me complicit in whatever damage comes to them from it if I say nothing. Whether deliberate or not I'm now involved in the cheating, and I'm not okay with keeping those secrets 💜 | |||
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"Not sure if I may be the only one on here with regards to what I posted but I actually got an abusive message from a man who hadn’t even posted on the thread, needless to say he was blocked and reported, if any other ladies may have had the same I advise you to do the same " That’s terrible I apologise on behalf of the idiot | |||
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"Not sure if I may be the only one on here with regards to what I posted but I actually got an abusive message from a man who hadn’t even posted on the thread, needless to say he was blocked and reported, if any other ladies may have had the same I advise you to do the same " Report abuse and block. Best not to discuss it on here | |||
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"Not sure if I may be the only one on here with regards to what I posted but I actually got an abusive message from a man who hadn’t even posted on the thread, needless to say he was blocked and reported, if any other ladies may have had the same I advise you to do the same Report abuse and block. Best not to discuss it on here "I did, I was just giving any others a heads up about it | |||
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"Not sure if I may be the only one on here with regards to what I posted but I actually got an abusive message from a man who hadn’t even posted on the thread, needless to say he was blocked and reported, if any other ladies may have had the same I advise you to do the same Report abuse and block. Best not to discuss it on here
I did, I was just giving any others a heads up about it "Good. Abusive messages are horrible to receive | |||
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"Block her and move on" Best advice. If I was in the same position would I want her reporting on me? Pot, kettle, black etc. But don't block if you want a cheeky wank over her photos. But out of sight out of mind is probably best. | |||
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"So essentially I found what I know 100 percent to be a really good friends wife on here. I'm also certain he has no idea and her profile suggests the same. She has a few verifications as well so I know she's met at least a couple of guys multiple times. So I really don't know whether to tell my friend about this, speak to his wife and tell her I know in hope she stops, or just leave it and not get involved. And before anyone says it I'm not going to use it to my advantage and try and sleep with her lol. I'm just really torn on what to do. Has anyone else had this at all or has any advise on the situation? " let sleeping dogs lie and move on | |||
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"Hi all, thanks again for all your advise on this. Thought I'd give you all a bit of an update. So far I haven't mentioned anything to either of them. However I'm seeing them both tomorrow evening so I'm going to casually talk about some of the things me and my gf have been up to and see if they give me any inclination that he's in on it or anything else. " How did it go with them yesterday ? | |||
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"My advice would be to absolutely NOT get involved, in any way shape or form. It doesn't matter a single bit to your life wether or not she is on fab, and yoy know nothing about the whole situation. I agree totally... If yoy say something to him yoy run the risk of it blowing back on your face. It takes 2 seconds to delete a profile and deny everything. Thus ain't your circus, and they're not your monkeys! And if it comes to light in future and he finds out some other way, you shouldn't say you knew either, coz that will most likely blow up in your face too." | |||
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"I would just block and move on,You have been put in a difficult position. If it was the other way round and you had seen your friend on here cheating on his wife would you tell her ? No i wouldn't, that's a really good point" Yeah but look at it the other way round. If your mate knew your partner was cheating on you would you want him to tell you?? How would you feel if you found out your mrs was cheating on you and one of your best friends knew for months but didn’t tell you?? I know I would want to be told then I could deal with it in my own way. Easy way out is ignore and pretend you never knew. If he really is a good friend then show him and let him deal with it his way. He’ll thank you. Horrible thing to find out that your mrs is cheating……100 x worse to find out then find “friends” knew for ages but didn’t tell you. | |||
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"The main problem in society is people, people need to focus on themselves and let others do as they please 🤷" Which OP is doing, he is focusing on his own actions to take towards his friend and not stopping anyone from doing anything. Odd comment really. | |||
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"The main problem in society is people, people need to focus on themselves and let others do as they please 🤷 Which OP is doing, he is focusing on his own actions to take towards his friend and not stopping anyone from doing anything. Odd comment really." Whilst everyone has access to the forums and said person sees it. Is like letting out the laundry of a fellow user 🙄 | |||
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"The main problem in society is people, people need to focus on themselves and let others do as they please 🤷" I think a bigger problem in society is people focusing in on themselves and not caring about other people. | |||
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"Put the ball in her court OP; send her a polite message with your face pic attached, asking if her fella is aware of her being on this site, and meeting other men. How she responds will help you decide whether you tell your friend or not…. "Bad advice | |||
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"I don’t think you can do nothing. I get the “keep you nose out” comments, but if it was me in his shoes I would expect my best mate to at least have had a conversation. I would ask if my friend was aware, if not I would suggest she stopped before my friend got hurt. The reaction would decide my next move, if there was no consideration for her husband/my friend then I’d give her 1 month to get it sorted." What if your friend was on here would you threaten to tell his wife? | |||
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"I don’t think you can do nothing. I get the “keep you nose out” comments, but if it was me in his shoes I would expect my best mate to at least have had a conversation. I would ask if my friend was aware, if not I would suggest she stopped before my friend got hurt. The reaction would decide my next move, if there was no consideration for her husband/my friend then I’d give her 1 month to get it sorted. What if your friend was on here would you threaten to tell his wife? " He's already said he wouldn't do anything if it was his friend. I think for many people this is about loyalty to a friend rather than the actual ethical or moral situation. Therefore they'll protect their friend whatever the situation. Aka it's ok if my friends doing it but not ok if it's being done to them 🤷♀️ | |||
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