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Wink protocol? Is there an unwritten rule we need to know?

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews

Just wondering what the consensus is about winks

We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…

We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.

Anyway, just wondering what others do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep unfortunately it seems to be a thing on here. Why wink in the first place.

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By * and T xCouple
over a year ago

Cannock


"We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird."

Why would you rather not message first?

I may be reading this particular part incorrectly, but it reads as if you are expecting others to make the first move or put that initial effort in.

They could just as easily be expecting the same as you, or are conscious of the amount of messages you get so would rather wink and allow you to initiate conversation if you are really interested

As a side note, I personally think'Thanks for the wink' messages don't really inspire a conversation.

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"Yep unfortunately it seems to be a thing on here. Why wink in the first place."

I know! 🤦🏻‍♂️

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By *ublinstud_MisstattooCouple
over a year ago

Dublin City


"Just wondering what the consensus is about winks

We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…

We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.

Anyway, just wondering what others do "

We get this all the time. Worse is when we decide to message the profile as they also look at us a lot they ignore our message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel really bad to say it but I don’t check out the winks very often. Like all couples here we get a lot of messages and don’t even have time to read / respond to them all, so winks have no chance It’s nothing personal at all.

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.

Why would you rather not message first?

I may be reading this particular part incorrectly, but it reads as if you are expecting others to make the first move or put that initial effort in.

They could just as easily be expecting the same as you, or are conscious of the amount of messages you get so would rather wink and allow you to initiate conversation if you are really interested

As a side note, I personally think'Thanks for the wink' messages don't really inspire a conversation."

Thanks for your insight, it’s exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to get back to challenge our way of thinking, and yes, I reckon we have thought that it’s more of an expectation for the person instigating the wink to then instigate the chat after being given a reciprocal wink if that makes sense 🤷‍♀️ This is why I’m asking what the general opinion is, because maybe we’re going about it the wrong way.

As for inspiring conversation, when we do make the first chat move we usually follow up the “thanks for the wink” with another question or similar so as to help the other person reply. But maybe we need to think more creatively and would love to hear what you guys do?

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"Worse is when we decide to message the profile as they also look at us a lot they ignore our message.

"

This is also a strange thing we find too. Message either goes unread or is read but no reply

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By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants


"Just wondering what the consensus is about winks

We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…

We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.

Anyway, just wondering what others do "

I think a wink.is a good first step to getting to know people that are interested in you.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I wink people by accident a lot

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"I wink people by accident a lot "

Haha how is that even possible 🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems "

Loads of “winkers” on Fab it would appear 🤣

But in all seriousness, that’s what we thought too. The initial wink is like an “I’m interested” but maybe not so bold as to just send a message, and the reciprocal wink is like “so are we interested” or “it’s ok, you’ve got the green light to chat” kind of thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems

Loads of “winkers” on Fab it would appear 🤣

But in all seriousness, that’s what we thought too. The initial wink is like an “I’m interested” but maybe not so bold as to just send a message, and the reciprocal wink is like “so are we interested” or “it’s ok, you’ve got the green light to chat” kind of thing. "

Yep that’s how I would see it as Winks are under estimated imho

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By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants

I like a wink.

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"I like a wink."

Don’t we all 😜

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London

I wink, they wink back, I follow up with message which is ignored or I find they’ve sent an unsolicited friend request 🙄

Winks are only useful (in my opinion) if you’re actually going to interact with the person/people who sends them to you and vice versa. Otherwise just don’t bother in the first place.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"I wink people by accident a lot

Haha how is that even possible 🤣 "

Fat fingers or errant mouse

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By *WANDTGCouple
over a year ago

Borough of Greenwich

This has occurred numerous times, but we've actually messaged when they've winked, they've read the message and not responded.One couple even messaged again about 5 weeks later. I responded saying I've messaged previously, only to be ignored a second time....that's when we block.

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By * and T xCouple
over a year ago

Cannock


"We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.

Why would you rather not message first?

I may be reading this particular part incorrectly, but it reads as if you are expecting others to make the first move or put that initial effort in.

They could just as easily be expecting the same as you, or are conscious of the amount of messages you get so would rather wink and allow you to initiate conversation if you are really interested

As a side note, I personally think'Thanks for the wink' messages don't really inspire a conversation.

Thanks for your insight, it’s exactly the kind of thing I was hoping to get back to challenge our way of thinking, and yes, I reckon we have thought that it’s more of an expectation for the person instigating the wink to then instigate the chat after being given a reciprocal wink if that makes sense 🤷‍♀️ This is why I’m asking what the general opinion is, because maybe we’re going about it the wrong way.

As for inspiring conversation, when we do make the first chat move we usually follow up the “thanks for the wink” with another question or similar so as to help the other person reply. But maybe we need to think more creatively and would love to hear what you guys do? "

To be honest, I don't think there necessarily is the right way. Receiving winks, for us, has started to border on pointless. We normally just a message to the person right out the gate. I can see it from both sides and I don't think youre wrong by any means. We still check winks but more as a glance than anything.

For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"

For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂"

I feel your pain there for sure! 🤣

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London


"

For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂

I feel your pain there for sure! 🤣 "

It’s because us men are visual creatures. This happens on my couples profile too. Some fabs of my girlfriend’s pics are in the 100’s, some of mine on the other hand are lucky to get into double figures

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Uh.

I don't look at or send winks.

That's my protocol 💜

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By *iFruityCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

Our unwritten is delete, unless we like, nit often. They may get a block, to stop ghem winking again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Uh.

I don't look at or send winks.

That's my protocol 💜"

This. Just send me a bloody message. A wink could be for anything. Like the profile, like a picture, want to meet, like an outfit etc etc.

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By *igbustedmilfCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

I don’t even have the time or the inclination to reply to all messages so winks don’t even get looked at, just deleted

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Central

I don't see an established protocol but follow my own. I return winks and view standard human interaction to then alternate who's turn it is next.

The next step ought to be a written message. Some fail here for me, by sending a friend request.

If they don't message, my interest reduces. Were they just chancers, flooding locals with winks?

Subsequent winks may or may not get a response.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess rhe idea is to wink to see if there is a mutual appreciation, if so message. Saves messaging somebody that has no intrest at all. However if it isn't taken rhat way why dont fab just remove the function

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By *herrybakewellCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

If we're interested in a profile and we feel we meet their preferences we will message.

Winks are just a waste of time.

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

Winks are... not a waste of time.

I get a lot of winks from people very far away, which I ignore. And a few from people who can't accom and are generally unsuitable. Again, mostly ignored.

But... I do get winks from ideal guys who think that I'm unobtainable for some reason and if they match what I need I will reply and I've made some of my best contacts and meets this way.

Going the other way, I generally wink the same way. People who I kinda match with but I think aren't going to reply back to a message.

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By *azzler2Man
over a year ago

halifax

For me it depends on who I am looking at I wink sometimes first to see if there interested as in the past I have sent massages and seen that they have been read but got no reply it not hard to reply with a no thank you

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By *acky RacersCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"If you’re a winker and they wink back then the winker instigating the wink should be the one to commence chat to the initially winked There's no rules though it seems

Loads of “winkers” on Fab it would appear 🤣

But in all seriousness, that’s what we thought too. The initial wink is like an “I’m interested” but maybe not so bold as to just send a message, and the reciprocal wink is like “so are we interested” or “it’s ok, you’ve got the green light to chat” kind of thing. "

That's pretty much how we use them.

We don't delete them though so if we're not interested but can't be arsed to block or exactly what you described arises...they can't wink again...

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By *altireswingers OP   Couple
over a year ago

St Andrews


"...they can't wink again..."

They can, after 30 days think it is…

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'm not a fan of winks, mine are usually from men miles from me who havent read my bio, so I tend to bulk delete them.

I'm quite harsh in that I'll block those who keep winking, despite no response.

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By *acky RacersCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln


"...they can't wink again...

They can, after 30 days think it is… "

Really? Ah well, block list it is then...

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By *agiccasterMan
over a year ago

worksop

Allways say thanks for the wink nice to meet you take it from there nice way to break the ice

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By *entenTeaCouple
over a year ago

Buckley North Wales

Winking can open up conversations I think it is less intrusive or tricky than open messages. If you are unsure about winking someone either don't or seek guidance from tarrot cards, runes, tealeaves or a Fab Druid.

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By *luefire2Couple
over a year ago

just somewhere around here

We don't reply to winks, if someone can't be bothered to send a message to show their interest then they weren't that interested at all in our opinion.

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By *ove2LurveCouple
over a year ago

Dartford


"

For us, we have a bit of a system using fabbed photos. If they are liking G's photos, but haven't liked T's, then we know who they are really interested in meeting. Pretty much all winks we get are not because of T's photo, put it that way 😂"

That's interesting, Ms. L2L may well fab the bloke's photo, when she looks through any couples we are in contact with at that time, but that's likely to be some time after I've sifted through all the fake profiles and picture collectors to arrive at people who might actually want to meet up; which is likely to be some time after I might have fabbed photos of the alluring lady.

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By *hoc TitanMan
over a year ago

Woolwich

I wink to indicate my interest but also as in invite to checkout my profile and if your interestedreciprocatethe wink or message, nothing more nothing less .

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By *attering_ramMan
over a year ago

Near You

If someone winks me … I send them a message back thanking them for the wink and then I proceed to make conversation …. If I wink and they wink back …. the same .

Winks have worked for me so I can’t complain

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By *onkeyandBonesCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We never wink, we rarely check who has winked us, as we find it lazy. If you like someone, send a messaage

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By *endalshaggersCouple
over a year ago

Lake District


"Just wondering what the consensus is about winks

We get them and if the profile grabs our interest we’ll wink back. More often than not it kick starts a message to us from the “winker” and chat goes from there, but there are occasions where the same person will send us a wink every few weeks and despite us winking back there is no opening message…

We could (of course) send the opening message, but we’d rather not, unless the “winker” really appeals to us straight away by their pics and profile etc. although sometimes when we do send an opening “thanks for the wink” message it gets read but no reply lol, it’s weird.

Anyway, just wondering what others do

We get this all the time. Worse is when we decide to message the profile as they also look at us a lot they ignore our message.

"

Or what's even worse is they've winked and hidden their profile so you can't wink back or message directly!

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