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"Hiya op You could use the privacy settings and hide your profile, least then if things don't work out you haven't lost anything but if you really want a relationship then focus on that and maybe at a later stage when you've actually built a relationship discuss, remember if she not interested then id shut fab and fulfill your dreams with your future " I been here before and did just that, lasted just over a month last time. Always seems like the right thing but I just can’t seem to do vanilla any more. Thanks for the advise | |||
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"It depends on what is important to you. The scene, my friends in the lifestyle and the clubs are a part of me so if I meet someone, I would let them know the beginning that this is part of who.I am. If it didn't work for them, that's okay as I would be being true to myself. Not everybody is here to stay though, some people will leave the lifestyle if they get into a vanilla relationship as that would complete them, in how they needed. It all depends on you." I know a few left many came back. It is I guess a battle of doing the ‘right thing’ that you are ‘supposed’ to be doing. Every time for 6 years I try it just doesn’t work, I end up gettin a txt or something and well that’s that. I fuck it up. I have avoided clubs like the plague because in my head that is that, their would be no going back, been asked to go to them loads by singles, Couples etc But I have it in my head, that’s one rabbit hole too far. mad I know. I love the idea of a ‘normal’ relationship, christmas, birthdays etc but can not stick to the ‘normal’ things I should | |||
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"You keep mentioning vanilla , what aspect of swinging do you see as not vanilla ? This woman might not be up for a 3 some or swapping of partners. But she might be into toys, restraints or roleplay etc which is a lot more fun. " I mean just two people is vanilla for me toys and the like are still with the two | |||
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"It seems you are just waiting for this to fail. You have choices He up front with the person and see what their reaction is. Try to make a go of things without swinging. End the relationship now. It's really up to you " I know this, as well as it being up to me. Both worlds don’t collide for me. I want both things at different times. That isn’t going to happen | |||
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"It seems you are just waiting for this to fail. You have choices He up front with the person and see what their reaction is. Try to make a go of things without swinging. End the relationship now. It's really up to you I know this, as well as it being up to me. Both worlds don’t collide for me. I want both things at different times. That isn’t going to happen" Why can't you say "there's this site do you want to come it?" . What have you got to lose? | |||
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"It seems you are just waiting for this to fail. You have choices He up front with the person and see what their reaction is. Try to make a go of things without swinging. End the relationship now. It's really up to you I know this, as well as it being up to me. Both worlds don’t collide for me. I want both things at different times. That isn’t going to happen Why can't you say "there's this site do you want to come it?" . What have you got to lose?" That isn’t what I want, I want and don’t want normal. Complicated yes. So I want the idea of a girlfriend doing all the shizle you do, but not the standard stuff that goes with it. | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner?" Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know " I see this a lot on here, people want to have sex with others partners but with no intention of sharing their own which isn't really what the lifestyle is about. Sounds like you're not a swingers OP and just use the site for sex when you're in-between relationships so maybe it's time to choose what you actually want. | |||
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" That isn’t what I want, I want and don’t want normal. Complicated yes. So I want the idea of a girlfriend doing all the shizle you do, but not the standard stuff that goes with it. " So you want a "vanilla" relationship with your new girlfriend and also threesomes and moresomes without her ? | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know I see this a lot on here, people want to have sex with others partners but with no intention of sharing their own which isn't really what the lifestyle is about. Sounds like you're not a swingers OP and just use the site for sex when you're in-between relationships so maybe it's time to choose what you actually want." He wants EVERYTHING! He wants to eat the cake and have it, too   | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know " You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know I see this a lot on here, people want to have sex with others partners but with no intention of sharing their own which isn't really what the lifestyle is about. Sounds like you're not a swingers OP and just use the site for sex when you're in-between relationships so maybe it's time to choose what you actually want." We totally agree with the above. We came on here to swing with couples , like you have said there are so many who just want to join as a threesome ( probably with a partner at home unaware what's going on ) which in our eyes isn't what we are after. | |||
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" That isn’t what I want, I want and don’t want normal. Complicated yes. So I want the idea of a girlfriend doing all the shizle you do, but not the standard stuff that goes with it. So you want a "vanilla" relationship with your new girlfriend and also threesomes and moresomes without her ?" No I don’t, that is just the way it will go. Usually ‘she’ is let go | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? " The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. | |||
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"Sorry I'm confused. You want a girlfriend and a relationship and the mundane things But you don't want the gf to become a swinger and you become a couple who swing You want two separate boxes. Mundane relationship in one Single guy fab in another ???? The only way you get that is to:- cheat on your gf Agree between you that your relationship isn't monogamous (but risk that the gf may decide at any point in the future to have fun herself) Only you know what is important to you " No. I don’t want to do the on here part. But said that for years. Yet still end up back | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. " Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? | |||
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"Sorry I'm confused. You want a girlfriend and a relationship and the mundane things But you don't want the gf to become a swinger and you become a couple who swing You want two separate boxes. Mundane relationship in one Single guy fab in another ???? The only way you get that is to:- cheat on your gf Agree between you that your relationship isn't monogamous (but risk that the gf may decide at any point in the future to have fun herself) Only you know what is important to you No. I don’t want to do the on here part. But said that for years. Yet still end up back" So basically you want a relationship Want to give up fab But actually don't trust yourself to be able to So would likely end up going behind her back Or binning the relationship off (even if it was good) | |||
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"So met some one, been out 4 times now. Been mostly single for years on and off, just used here and s couple of FB’s. How am I going to male this last or even work, do I end my fab fun? Been there before didn’t get past a month. Not sure I can do vanilla for long. Can’t really say ‘hey there’s this site, do ya wanna come on it’. Ffs it is gonna be the same as always. dilemma, what to do?" There is a weird thing that we are attracted to like. I love the song "escape" because that is a couple who did not realise they liked the same things and could not express it. You might need to chat about things | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men?" It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing | |||
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"Sorry I'm confused. You want a girlfriend and a relationship and the mundane things But you don't want the gf to become a swinger and you become a couple who swing You want two separate boxes. Mundane relationship in one Single guy fab in another ???? The only way you get that is to:- cheat on your gf Agree between you that your relationship isn't monogamous (but risk that the gf may decide at any point in the future to have fun herself) Only you know what is important to you No. I don’t want to do the on here part. But said that for years. Yet still end up back So basically you want a relationship Want to give up fab But actually don't trust yourself to be able to So would likely end up going behind her back Or binning the relationship off (even if it was good) " That is never my intention, but not far off what happens | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing " Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. " Personally i see open relationships and FB relationships as being completely opposite rather than basically the same…a FB relationship is just about sex, there’s no emotional element to it, you don’t do ‘couple things’ like quiet nights in watching tv or going for meals at a restaurant or food shopping together….it’s just for satisfying sexual needs. Whereas an open relationship has all the couples things with an emotional connection, love, commitment etc but it’s not monogamous and you’re both aware that the other person is having sex with other people. It’s the same as, what society views as a normal relationship but without the monogamy. There are very few similarities between a FB relationship and an open relationship that i can think of. I’d be interested to know why you think they’re basically the same…. | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know " I was going to say that you don't have to choose - lots of people swing with partners or meet people for relationships on fab but if you want to swing apart from your partner who you want to be monogamous to you - can't help you! Why wouldn't you want to swing with a partner? Is it a possessiveness thing? Do you think women who swing are less valuable as partners than women who don't? | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. " That's a strange thing to say. Open relationships aren't basically just FBs. Surely all the long term couples with profiles on here tell you that? | |||
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"Sorry I'm confused. You want a girlfriend and a relationship and the mundane things But you don't want the gf to become a swinger and you become a couple who swing You want two separate boxes. Mundane relationship in one Single guy fab in another ???? The only way you get that is to:- cheat on your gf Agree between you that your relationship isn't monogamous (but risk that the gf may decide at any point in the future to have fun herself) Only you know what is important to you No. I don’t want to do the on here part. But said that for years. Yet still end up back So basically you want a relationship Want to give up fab But actually don't trust yourself to be able to So would likely end up going behind her back Or binning the relationship off (even if it was good) That is never my intention, but not far off what happens " Why not hide the profile Focus on the relationship You never know it might actually be something their interested in! At the pivot point then only you can decide... If the relationship is going well or if the pull of fab is enough to throw away the potential.. | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship?" when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. That's a strange thing to say. Open relationships aren't basically just FBs. Surely all the long term couples with profiles on here tell you that? " good for them it works for them | |||
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"Sorry I'm confused. You want a girlfriend and a relationship and the mundane things But you don't want the gf to become a swinger and you become a couple who swing You want two separate boxes. Mundane relationship in one Single guy fab in another ???? The only way you get that is to:- cheat on your gf Agree between you that your relationship isn't monogamous (but risk that the gf may decide at any point in the future to have fun herself) Only you know what is important to you No. I don’t want to do the on here part. But said that for years. Yet still end up back So basically you want a relationship Want to give up fab But actually don't trust yourself to be able to So would likely end up going behind her back Or binning the relationship off (even if it was good) That is never my intention, but not far off what happens Why not hide the profile Focus on the relationship You never know it might actually be something their interested in! At the pivot point then only you can decide... If the relationship is going well or if the pull of fab is enough to throw away the potential.. " not far off that point tonight will be the 5 outing | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm " Ok. Hope you figure something out | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out" So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x" No problem. You said you can't stop yourself...you can, you don't want to. That's not a criticism it indicates that to me that although the idea of the 'norm' as you put it appeals to you, it isn't what you really want. Good luck  | |||
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"How did your 5th date go ?" It went ok, gone out again since. I may test the waters, she is quite adventurous it seems. We’ll see | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know I see this a lot on here, people want to have sex with others partners but with no intention of sharing their own which isn't really what the lifestyle is about. Sounds like you're not a swingers OP and just use the site for sex when you're in-between relationships so maybe it's time to choose what you actually want." I agree. Sounds like you actually just want to have sex with lots of people but are not part of the true swinging community 🤔 | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x" Why do you date and treat women like that (potentially hurt feelings) if you know you can't separate from this, and are still on it? Very cruel. | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know I see this a lot on here, people want to have sex with others partners but with no intention of sharing their own which isn't really what the lifestyle is about. Sounds like you're not a swingers OP and just use the site for sex when you're in-between relationships so maybe it's time to choose what you actually want. I agree. Sounds like you actually just want to have sex with lots of people but are not part of the true swinging community 🤔 " Odd you agree with something this person says that hasn’t happened. Hmmm strange | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x Why do you date and treat women like that (potentially hurt feelings) if you know you can't separate from this, and are still on it? Very cruel." Treat women like what something you just decided to make up? Why do you make things up? Seems a better question | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x Why do you date and treat women like that (potentially hurt feelings) if you know you can't separate from this, and are still on it? Very cruel. Treat women like what something you just decided to make up? Why do you make things up? Seems a better question " Hurting their feelings because you already know you can't stay faithful. You've repeated it throughout. | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x Why do you date and treat women like that (potentially hurt feelings) if you know you can't separate from this, and are still on it? Very cruel. Treat women like what something you just decided to make up? Why do you make things up? Seems a better question Hurting their feelings because you already know you can't stay faithful. You've repeated it throughout. " Go and abuse someone else, no where have I said anything like you you have presumed happened. I get it you like to draw attention. Sorry I not biting. | |||
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"I think you should just stay with the people you find on fab op. You've admitted you can't help yourself and keep coming back to the couples here. If you've found time and time again that you can't settle down and hold a proper relationship with a woman, why keep trying?. Couples on fab won't expect more from you or hope to change you and you won't end up hurting them. If this new lady isn't interested in swinging (if you tell her) then you've possibly just wasted both hers and your own time. You can't have your cake and eat it. " Because I want to find that, but the actual doing of it has proven to be very different. Maybe I just meet the wrong people, again please don’t read into who this silly person above has said, I haven’t ‘hurt’ anyone in any way. I not getting into a relationship long enough or making any promises, just like someone wanting to stir the pot, why are they talking about me being’ hurt’. Seen this type all over these pages trying to get a little wave up. Don’t fall for it. | |||
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"I think you should just stay with the people you find on fab op. You've admitted you can't help yourself and keep coming back to the couples here. If you've found time and time again that you can't settle down and hold a proper relationship with a woman, why keep trying?. Couples on fab won't expect more from you or hope to change you and you won't end up hurting them. If this new lady isn't interested in swinging (if you tell her) then you've possibly just wasted both hers and your own time. You can't have your cake and eat it. Because I want to find that, but the actual doing of it has proven to be very different. Maybe I just meet the wrong people, again please don’t read into who this silly person above has said, I haven’t ‘hurt’ anyone in any way. I not getting into a relationship long enough or making any promises, just like someone wanting to stir the pot, why are they talking about me being’ hurt’. Seen this type all over these pages trying to get a little wave up. Don’t fall for it. " I'm not falling for anything op, I'm reading into what you're saying. But I think it's a you thing, not every woman you meet thing. You're looking for something that maybe you're not gonna find. Maybe you don't think you're making promises to these women, but the fact that you're continued to see one, despite having all these reservations says it all to me. If you'd found what you want, you wouldn't be here asking the questions you are. It's strange that many of us can see what you can't seem to. | |||
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"I think you should just stay with the people you find on fab op. You've admitted you can't help yourself and keep coming back to the couples here. If you've found time and time again that you can't settle down and hold a proper relationship with a woman, why keep trying?. Couples on fab won't expect more from you or hope to change you and you won't end up hurting them. If this new lady isn't interested in swinging (if you tell her) then you've possibly just wasted both hers and your own time. You can't have your cake and eat it. Because I want to find that, but the actual doing of it has proven to be very different. Maybe I just meet the wrong people, again please don’t read into who this silly person above has said, I haven’t ‘hurt’ anyone in any way. I not getting into a relationship long enough or making any promises, just like someone wanting to stir the pot, why are they talking about me being’ hurt’. Seen this type all over these pages trying to get a little wave up. Don’t fall for it. I'm not falling for anything op, I'm reading into what you're saying. But I think it's a you thing, not every woman you meet thing. You're looking for something that maybe you're not gonna find. Maybe you don't think you're making promises to these women, but the fact that you're continued to see one, despite having all these reservations says it all to me. If you'd found what you want, you wouldn't be here asking the questions you are. It's strange that many of us can see what you can't seem to. " OK, there seems to be confusion here. I haven’t continued to see anyone while active on here full stop. I have not seen anyone on here for months. That is only put forward by one person above. That person 100% wasn’t me. If I decide that I’ll go out with someone that is mine and their business, same as the other way around gives. They may decide not to go further or I may. This gives me, nor them absolutely any hold or claims to anything. Acting like I or they said ‘let move in together’ or the like is pure fantasy, I have friends I see in certain ways like many. If they decide the don’t want to go around with me anymore that is again the exact same the other way around, no one offered any contacts on both sides, I’m not with people for a year it may be a month or two then they usually end, like Many, many people you know in everyday life. It is very odd that isn’t seen. What is said here is totally wrong and so far from the reality it is laughable to me. If I found what I want then I’d know what that was, like most people I’m looking, maybe it isn’t there who knows? unfortunately I have that is a me problem, and I don’t take kindly to people making up their own versions of what they think it all is, advise and thoughts are welcome but someone who hasn’t a clue pushing their opinion onto not only me, but others isn’t right at all.Like I’m some how finding these women and making the fall in love!! That is bananas. I guess it is just like you and the person above wouldn’t want me casting my opinion based on well not much at all onto you as a fact, and also putting it out their for others to take on!! Sure I don’t mind people having view but when it comes to making scenarios up to suit their own opinions, I draw the line and rightly so. As already said It is a me problem and that’s it, to just come along and make nonsense up isn’t on, in fact it is rude! Again I’ll be very clear NO ONE has been hurt that is a figment of imagination as if in some Mills and Boon book | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x Why do you date and treat women like that (potentially hurt feelings) if you know you can't separate from this, and are still on it? Very cruel. Treat women like what something you just decided to make up? Why do you make things up? Seems a better question Hurting their feelings because you already know you can't stay faithful. You've repeated it throughout. Go and abuse someone else, no where have I said anything like you you have presumed happened. I get it you like to draw attention. Sorry I not biting. " I am not abusing you. I have written my opinion respectfully in a thread where you have posted asking for comments. I wonder why no-one else got the same hate I did... You clearly aren't looking to be held account for any of your poor and disrespectful actions so not sure what you wanted here. Or did you want us all to just agree and laugh and say, yes, so tough, you'll be back after a while (once she's fallen hard). Haha, pat on the back. | |||
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"Or do you mean you don't want to swing with a partner? Yep I think so, I see the two as very separate one emotional the other not at all just what I can’t seem to get away from. Selfish I know You want what you want, there's no getting away from that. You could have a full and frank conversation with this person and see what comes of it. Would you accept a completely open relationship where they had the same freedoms as you? The open relationship is a idea, but in one way they are basically just fb’s already have them. Not necessarily. Do you view the women you have casual sex with differently to the ones you are in a longer term relationship with, do you think of them differently? Would you think less of a partner if she was seeing other men? It isn’t about thinking differently of anyone. ait is wanting the ‘norm’ but not being satisfied with it. It’s a me thing Yeah, I'm trying to find out why you feel that way. What if *your* norm was an open relationship? when I say ‘norm’, I mean like what the people who maybe aren’t as highly sexed and kinky etc. It’s a battle I lost many a time trying to be that norm Ok. Hope you figure something out So do I but don’t think I will. Been here too long now and the pull is strong, each time I think Im done with it I’ll get a message from one of the couples and with a drink especially can not stop myself, It feel more normal and right now. I kinda fight with that sometimes i guess, but thanks any way x Why do you date and treat women like that (potentially hurt feelings) if you know you can't separate from this, and are still on it? Very cruel. Treat women like what something you just decided to make up? Why do you make things up? Seems a better question Hurting their feelings because you already know you can't stay faithful. You've repeated it throughout. Go and abuse someone else, no where have I said anything like you you have presumed happened. I get it you like to draw attention. Sorry I not biting. I am not abusing you. I have written my opinion respectfully in a thread where you have posted asking for comments. I wonder why no-one else got the same hate I did... You clearly aren't looking to be held account for any of your poor and disrespectful actions so not sure what you wanted here. Or did you want us all to just agree and laugh and say, yes, so tough, you'll be back after a while (once she's fallen hard). Haha, pat on the back." Bit of a not right are you. ‘my poor or disrespectful actions’ that isn’t abusive at all eh? You just decided that do you, wtf you even on about 😂😂. Sling it you silly person | |||
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"We think one of your pictures is being used by others on the internet! Your fifth photo, from 2017, is all over Google 🤷🏻♂️ Either you’ve ‘borrowed’ it or many others are claiming it as theirs! " One has been used on here by other people!!! And I made them take it down. It is used on other another site too. Which is where I think it has been originally taken from. What can I say must be a popular one | |||
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"OP, I am probably going to be another poster who gets a backlash from you, but your posts, particularly the last one, show how very little you understand about women. Let me summarise how I understand what is happening here. You went out, with the same woman, 5 times now. Yes, you may not have said "let's move in together" or even "let's try being together". But just by the very fact you met the same person 5 times, 5 times you wanted to spend time with her, nobody else, it would, to her, mean you are interested. Some women would even be imagining spending the rest of their life with you, regardless of whatever you said. You know the saying "actions speak louder than words"? T Women don't hear, or care much, for what you're saying or not saying. By your actions alone, you woke up the lady's hope of not ending all alone, with just cats (or other pets) for company. Granted, not every single woman is like that, but many are. Therefore, you'd be hurting her feelings (even if unintentionally) by crushing her hopes when/if you finally decide you cannot leave the lifestyle. As I said in my previous post, just speak to her, explain your lifestyle. You never know, she might be happy with you continuing with it and still having a relationship with her, should you wish so. " You think she’s spending her life with cats if I don’t go out with her? Just generalising eh of course that is what all women do isn’t it 🤦🏻♂️ As it’s turned out she’s actually married so yeah, you maybe want a rethink on that one I wonder if her delicate little Husband is hurt? Seem like it her thing from what her friend said. That must destroy you or does it only could foe women? Hey I think she has a dog too. But he don’t let me wreak your chain of thought here, but seems a little out to say the least. I already told her I not be seeing her again, maybe she should have been honest eh? Hopefully she isn’t too delicate and can take it. | |||
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"So met some one, been out 4 times now. Been mostly single for years on and off, just used here and s couple of FB’s. How am I going to male this last or even work, do I end my fab fun? Been there before didn’t get past a month. Not sure I can do vanilla for long. Can’t really say ‘hey there’s this site, do ya wanna come on it’. Ffs it is gonna be the same as always. dilemma, what to do?" Well do what you do. Married eh?! another fine mess you got into! Well You know you are always welcome | |||
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"So met some one, been out 4 times now. Been mostly single for years on and off, just used here and s couple of FB’s. How am I going to male this last or even work, do I end my fab fun? Been there before didn’t get past a month. Not sure I can do vanilla for long. Can’t really say ‘hey there’s this site, do ya wanna come on it’. Ffs it is gonna be the same as always. dilemma, what to do?" Start with watching porn with them that shows your interests and gauge their willingness “would you ever try this”…. | |||
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"OP, I am probably going to be another poster who gets a backlash from you, but your posts, particularly the last one, show how very little you understand about women. Let me summarise how I understand what is happening here. You went out, with the same woman, 5 times now. Yes, you may not have said "let's move in together" or even "let's try being together". But just by the very fact you met the same person 5 times, 5 times you wanted to spend time with her, nobody else, it would, to her, mean you are interested. Some women would even be imagining spending the rest of their life with you, regardless of whatever you said. You know the saying "actions speak louder than words"? T Women don't hear, or care much, for what you're saying or not saying. By your actions alone, you woke up the lady's hope of not ending all alone, with just cats (or other pets) for company. Granted, not every single woman is like that, but many are. Therefore, you'd be hurting her feelings (even if unintentionally) by crushing her hopes when/if you finally decide you cannot leave the lifestyle. As I said in my previous post, just speak to her, explain your lifestyle. You never know, she might be happy with you continuing with it and still having a relationship with her, should you wish so. You think she’s spending her life with cats if I don’t go out with her? Just generalising eh of course that is what all women do isn’t it 🤦🏻♂️ As it’s turned out she’s actually married so yeah, you maybe want a rethink on that one I wonder if her delicate little Husband is hurt? Seem like it her thing from what her friend said. That must destroy you or does it only could foe women? Hey I think she has a dog too. But he don’t let me wreak your chain of thought here, but seems a little out to say the least. I already told her I not be seeing her again, maybe she should have been honest eh? Hopefully she isn’t too delicate and can take it." Very good luck to you, OP. | |||
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"So met some one, been out 4 times now. Been mostly single for years on and off, just used here and s couple of FB’s. How am I going to male this last or even work, do I end my fab fun? Been there before didn’t get past a month. Not sure I can do vanilla for long. Can’t really say ‘hey there’s this site, do ya wanna come on it’. Ffs it is gonna be the same as always. dilemma, what to do? Well do what you do. Married eh?! another fine mess you got into! Well You know you are always welcome "Hey such is life, and I know may as well say hi, check ya dm’s | |||
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