FabSwingers.com forum: how long do u wait?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had a social meet planned 4 today, we messaged several times but hes hardly on line, so left a message with my number on. He came on line and read it, I waited an hour for him to confirm place and time, it was 7pm by then......left a message on line again, waited 15 mins again......so told him to do one! Just had a message saying I was in the shower sorry for trying to get ready....WTF? How long wud u have waited?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From experience, if after leaving a number and no response in n hour, I'd have given up and got my jammies on

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Had a social meet planned 4 today, we messaged several times but hes hardly on line, so left a message with my number on. He came on line and read it, I waited an hour for him to confirm place and time, it was 7pm by then......left a message on line again, waited 15 mins again......so told him to do one! Just had a message saying I was in the shower sorry for trying to get ready....WTF? How long wud u have waited?

You were more patient than i would have been - if he read your message he should have replied as time was marching on by then - not to worry, more fish in the sea! Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he was that keen I would have thought he'd have been better organised with messaging..

how long does a guy need to 'get ready'

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

if he didn't reply to the message shortly after reading it we would have given up. Experience has taught us that people who slow up on replies close to a meet usually pull out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have waited til the last minute to arrange a social in the first place.

Confirm yes, but arrange no.

In terms of what you had arranged tho, if my mail had been read and unanswered I would assume it was off.

Why anyone would get a shower b4 replying is beyond me. Sounds like he was buying time maybe after a shitty day and didn't have the heart to say he was tired.

Either way, he could have mailed and said thanks for the message, tough day, just gonna head for the shower ........

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I wouldn't have waited til the last minute to arrange a social in the first place.

Confirm yes, but arrange no.

In terms of what you had arranged tho, if my mail had been read and unanswered I would assume it was off.

Why anyone would get a shower b4 replying is beyond me. Sounds like he was buying time maybe after a shitty day and didn't have the heart to say he was tired.

Either way, he could have mailed and said thanks for the message, tough day, just gonna head for the shower ........

I think u are right, prob tired or was scared, was his first meet.....but just say so FFS lol....jammies on, wine in hand, masterchef soon, all not lost eh?

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

I usually sort all that out when Im making the arrangements - say something like 'Ill be logged on at 5, if I havent heard from you by then Ill assume its not happening'. And I leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I usually sort all that out when Im making the arrangements - say something like 'Ill be logged on at 5, if I havent heard from you by then Ill assume its not happening'. And I leave it at that.

Good tip, tks will use that

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

From a different perspective, If I've agreed to meet and arrangements have been agreed and finalised, I know I will be there.

I have had repeated requests (text and PMs) to confirm it's still on.

How many times should one have to say 'Yes, still on as arranged'?

What's reasonable, what's annoying?

Mind you, I know I'm not a timewaster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he wussed out, and then made a pathetic excuse. hes a dipstick. move on babe

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

If he had read the message but not responded I would have left it and gone and done something else....if he was interested he would have responded straight away...

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I think they wait for us to message them something just so they can come back and say 'well I was coming but now I won't!' so now, if they haven't replied or texted confirming then no meet. I block and move on after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep just another time waster, they like the idea of it but when it comes down to it their arse goes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to have things arranged before hand but will always send a message a little before to see if its all still going ahead.

He could have dropped you a message or a txt before the shower,id have assumed it was off also

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By *umplay1969Man
over a year ago

Mayland

Now I've got this problem going on now. Was chating with a lady for about an hour or so today (we've talked before) while I was on site delivering, she asked me if I was free tonight and that she wanted to come visit me in my truck. As soon as I read her message I had to get out and help move some stuff, so 20 mins later I replied saying sorry I had to go but yes I'd love to meet up.

Guess what, I got back the 'well your obviously not interested now then' message and blocked !!

What's that all about ?

Three weeks we've been talking and finally plan and have the time to meet and I get that.

Draw a line, move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I refuse to be at another person's beck and call, as I have a life of my own.

I would rather not meet than to meet someone in a hurry, only to regret not having vetted the person thoroughly beforehand.

I usually plan my meets weeks in advance, and ask for confirmation a few days before the meet. If the gent no longer wants to meet, then so be it.

I seldom give second chance.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I would have firmed up on the date time and place long before the day of the actual meet!

So if nothing received before then, I would have cancelled as well

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

usually i chat to someone for quite awhile before arranging a meet, once a meet is finalized i like to stay in touch until we actually meet. They also text me when they are leaving so i know estimated time of arrival. Not to bothered about the contact afterwards, but keeping in touch beforehand is part of the build up for me. I wouldnt dream of arranging to meet someone in a few days time and not being intouch until the given time.

But thats me

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"usually i chat to someone for quite awhile before arranging a meet, once a meet is finalized i like to stay in touch until we actually meet. They also text me when they are leaving so i know estimated time of arrival. Not to bothered about the contact afterwards, but keeping in touch beforehand is part of the build up for me. I wouldnt dream of arranging to meet someone in a few days time and not being intouch until the given time.

But thats me"

Now Diamond, I am so glad you have said that, as I have/had a meet arranged for Saturday, I did warn him to stay in touch, as we were speaking before he disappeared previously, to which he replied, most definitely, nothing in the last 7 days! So it looks like I will be cancelling, and yes this was a play meet not just a social one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 mins 42 seconds.....max.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Firm up on specifics beforehand. WELL beforehand. And the "after a certain time, if i haven't had confirmation from you, then i assume it isn't happening" line is always a good one too.

Although a polite confirmation just before a meet should be second nature to most i feel.

And just to throw this in there, i've seen a similar situation/ story from a guy in the reverse position to this one who got accused of being "pushy" when the couple he was going to meet that night slowed their responses to a crawl (despite logging on and reading them)

That's not a slight, just something to consider.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

If a meet is arranged then repeated requests to confirm it are a bit bunny-boilerish in my opinion.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"If a meet is arranged then repeated requests to confirm it are a bit bunny-boilerish in my opinion. "

But your a couple! It is a bit different when you are single! I wasn't after constant confirmation, just a simple build up to the meet, if they can't be arsed then neither can I, it's the way I do things and my meets are more than aware of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

from experience..... messages get late reply if time wasters

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By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

i like to have a few texts before a meet too!..i have to plan my time well being a single mom so deffo would want confirmation on the day and before i start getting rdy x

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"If a meet is arranged then repeated requests to confirm it are a bit bunny-boilerish in my opinion.

I was thinking more of an incident that happened when I was single. A social meet was arranged in the West End, and we had spoken on the phone at lunch time on the day of the meet. When I got off the tube, 20 mins before the meet, I had about 10 text messages and 4 increasingly manic voice messages. All in the space of about 45 minutes. The final text message was just a rant. Needless to say I took that as a sign.

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