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The first message

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By *ergus1622 OP   Man
3 days ago

Dundee

When I send the first message what are good tips for standing out?

Thanks in advance.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
3 days ago

Carlisle usually

Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜

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By *ergus1622 OP   Man
3 days ago

Dundee


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜"

I do personalise messages it's not copy and paste, but I understand the volume of messages ladies get and lucky to get read.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
3 days ago

Carlisle usually


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜

I do personalise messages it's not copy and paste, but I understand the volume of messages ladies get and lucky to get read. "

I didn't suggest that you do copy and paste or don't personalised messages.

You asked how to do first messages. I answered as best I could.

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By *lackcanaryWoman
3 days ago

Ipswich


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜"

100% read the profile. I get so bored of one liners and dick pics!

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By *ergus1622 OP   Man
3 days ago

Dundee


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜

I do personalise messages it's not copy and paste, but I understand the volume of messages ladies get and lucky to get read.

I didn't suggest that you do copy and paste or don't personalised messages.

You asked how to do first messages. I answered as best I could."

Sorry I didn't mean that as a moan or anything I was just stating that I don't copy & paste

I do appreciate the insite, so thank you.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
3 days ago

Central

Personalise, as PreyTTF says. Your profile will be looked at, before the message is considered, so make sure you're really happy that it sells you and what you add.

Be upbeat and avoid waffle. You should have the content, from their profile and mix in some of you

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By *r SensualMan
2 days ago

London


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜

100% read the profile. I get so bored of one liners and dick pics!"

The vast infestation of one liners, dick pics, crude and (in some cases) borderline psychotic messages are usually why the decent messages get missed.

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By *i_guy37Man
2 days ago

Oxford

Offer a summary of who you are and what you're interested in or looking for. Explain why it might be worthwhile meeting (or at least chatting to) you. It doesn't need to be war and peace but making a bit of effort to sound like someone who's capable of holding a conversation, will put you ahead of the one line replies.

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By *eroLondonMan
2 days ago

Mayfair


"The vast infestation of one liners, dick pics, crude and (in some cases) borderline psychotic messages are usually why the decent messages get missed. "

•

I disagree; that's a flawed viewpoint.

You cannot determine a "decent message" until you open it. A unopened "decent message" is often indeterminable from the four or so words that the reader can make out. At the end of the day it's all about numbers. Women, in particular, are inundated with messages landing in their ever-increasing inboxes. A hand-crafted, articulately written 'decent' message will, more likely, languish unopened along with all the others, good or bad.

As it's often mentioned by women on the forums - they will first peruse the sender's profile and, if it's of interest to them, they will then open it and read it. Whether they reply is another matter entirely.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
2 days ago

Norwich

The fact is that the contents of the message matter less than the contents of the profile that sent it

A lot will read the profile before opening the message. If they fancy you theessage could be about just anything that isn't abusive.

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By *r SensualMan
2 days ago

London


"The vast infestation of one liners, dick pics, crude and (in some cases) borderline psychotic messages are usually why the decent messages get missed.

•

I disagree; that's a flawed viewpoint.

You cannot determine a "decent message" until you open it. A unopened "decent message" is often indeterminable from the four or so words that the reader can make out. At the end of the day it's all about numbers. Women, in particular, are inundated with messages landing in their ever-increasing inboxes. A hand-crafted, articulately written 'decent' message will, more likely, languish unopened along with all the others, good or bad.

As it's often mentioned by women on the forums - they will first peruse the sender's profile and, if it's of interest to them, they will then open it and read it. Whether they reply is another matter entirely."

If it’s such a flawed viewpoint, why do we see countless threads from guys saying exactly what I said above? I’ve even had women tell me they do not reply to 99.9% of their messages be those good or bad. The whole it’s a “numbers game” is BS too if you ask me, the scattergun approach hoping something will stick is just as futile.

Me, I’ll just stick to bypassing all the messaging malarkey and meet person first in real life instead.

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By *esYesOMGYes!Man
2 days ago

M20

Only address the woman in the couple.

Don’t read their profile.

Don’t say why you’re attracted to them in particular.

If your going to say more than Hi in the first message, tell them in detail what you want to do to them.

Include a dick pick.

Don’t include a face pick.

Spell poorly.

If they don’t reply promptly, send another calling them a c@nt.

Happy fabbing!

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By *revaunanceCouple
2 days ago

Exeter


"When I send the first message what are good tips for standing out?

Thanks in advance.

"

The single most important advice anyone can give, is to read the other users profile. Read it, understand it, if you match it, then start typing a message. If not, then move on.

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By *oveandfastWoman
2 days ago

Bromsgrove


"Only address the woman in the couple.

Don’t read their profile.

Don’t say why you’re attracted to them in particular.

If your going to say more than Hi in the first message, tell them in detail what you want to do to them.

Include a dick pick.

Don’t include a face pick.

Spell poorly.

If they don’t reply promptly, send another calling them a c@nt.

Happy fabbing!

"

Cracked it!

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By *rT25Man
2 days ago

South Yorkshire

FAF😈💦🤣

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By *eroLondonMan
2 days ago

Mayfair


"If it’s such a flawed viewpoint, why do we see countless threads from guys saying exactly what I said above?"

The reason why 'we' see countless threads is because each thread is created by someone relatively new to Fab or new to the forums, someone who hasn't cottoned on why they are not getting any traction, therefore creating a hackneyed thread with the assumption that it's the first time someone has asked that question, not realising that it's a perpetual query 'ad infinitum'... ...


"I’ve even had women tell me they do not reply to 99.9% of their messages be those good or bad."

That's because they are focusing on the 0.01% which is still a high number (perhaps 'dozens') and/or sending the first message to men, which I can corroborate from experience.


"The whole it’s a “numbers game” is BS too if you ask me, the scattergun approach hoping something will stick is just as futile."

It's not BS. If you paid attention to those very women you mentioned above you would notice that, in addition to the 700+ messages in their inbox, they also have to contend with the 1,500+ winks and the 1,000+ unsolicited friend requests.

Any man who adopts the "scattergun approach" has already sealed his fate by not having any standards or not being selective: he deserves the silent treatment and the deletion of his messages.


"Me, I’ll just stick to bypassing all the messaging malarkey and meet person first in real life instead."

If that works for you then I offer a sincere good luck. The "messaging malarkey" has been the best experience for me. It's an enviable experience when women send introductory messages.

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By *ess n BenCouple
2 days ago

Didcot


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Very good advice

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜"

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By *ess n BenCouple
2 days ago

Didcot


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜"

Very good advice but some will only look at the pictures

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By *oxy jWoman
2 days ago

somerset

i think if you have to ask to get advice on profiles or messages then i dont think your ready for this scene... only you know you only you know why you joined and what you seek nobody can help you only you can be you if you cant be you then this scene is just going to spit you out

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
2 days ago

Carlisle usually


"Read the profile, find something in the text that stands out to you that you want to talk about. Ask questions about things that their profile (not just the 'interest' list) mentions.

Be genuinely interested in connecting with the person on the other side, rather than just a viable hole.

Make sure you match their stated preferences. Make sure they match yours.

If any of the above aren't doable. Don't message them 💜

Very good advice but some will only look at the pictures "

Right.

Which should be easily inferred from their profile.

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By *ucka39Man
2 days ago

Newcastle

Just be yourself as not everyone is identical

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By *rdere OpusCouple
1 day ago

Brum - ish

Your aim should be to explain briefly what you’re looking for, what you offer and key, why you think you’re a good fit for the recipient.

If your message and profile highlight compatibility and there’s attraction all round, you have a better chance of a reply.

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By *lowercandyWoman
1 day ago

Lancashire


"Only address the woman in the couple.

Don’t read their profile.

Don’t say why you’re attracted to them in particular.

If your going to say more than Hi in the first message, tell them in detail what you want to do to them.

Include a dick pick.

Don’t include a face pick.

Spell poorly.

If they don’t reply promptly, send another calling them a c@nt.

Happy fabbing!

"

Lol. Love this.

It's generally what lands in my inbox as well unfortunately

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
21 hours ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

95% of effort should be on your profile and the other 5% on message content.

The best message in the history of Fab will go unread if they view your profile before reading it and decide there's an abundance of more visually appealing one's out there with more interesting profile text.

No point in worrying about messages til you've done your absolute best with your profile.

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By *enelope2UWoman
21 hours ago

Fife


"Your aim should be to explain briefly what you’re looking for, what you offer and key, why you think you’re a good fit for the recipient.

If your message and profile highlight compatibility and there’s attraction all round, you have a better chance of a reply. "

Too much common sense in that!

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By *athBull88Man
5 hours ago

Bath / Bradford on Avon

This has been a topic of conversation for some time within my Fab community… and it’s on reflection, the majority of my meets/interactions have materialised from others initiating engagement… but hey, that’s just me.

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By *riftslag666Couple
5 hours ago

Colchester


"Only address the woman in the couple.

Don’t read their profile.

Don’t say why you’re attracted to them in particular.

If your going to say more than Hi in the first message, tell them in detail what you want to do to them.

Include a dick pick.

Don’t include a face pick.

Spell poorly.

If they don’t reply promptly, send another calling them a c@nt.

Happy fabbing!

"

Don't forget to send a chain of messages especially just '????' Every few hours or less when there's no reply!

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By *ommy2125Man
4 hours ago

newport

It all depends on what you are looking for and from who. It's a liberal place but not insta fuck. So dont just think about your first message, think of fab like a night club, just like in person your message is the first thing you say..but not the first thing thats said about you..when you do message remeber just like in person generally the first thing to say isnt can i stick my cock up your arse. So think before you've even messaged chances are they've already clocked you if their interested viewed your profile, seen you in forums, etc. They already have a perception of who you are, because of your pictures, profile text, times you are active here, etc. And you can do the same to craft a message that has thought, meaning, intrigue and resonance. And to finish my analogy just remember your in the fab club and just as in real life not everyone you say hello to is going to respond or even look in your direction, and just because someone says they're a slut or has it all on show doesn't mean they will fuck you because the sun rose that morning, people are attracted to certain things and you have what they want or you don't. So enjoy be respectful, don't get too d*unk or the bouncers will kick you out.

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