FabSwingers.com forum: Social meets - meeting half of a couple

By *endalshaggers OP Couple
10 weeks ago

Lake District

Sorry if I'm waffling or explaining this a long winded way - know what I'm trying to say, it's putting it into words lol.

So, for a social meet - I fully appreciate both parties should be there and if you can't arrange where everyone can attend there's really no point.

We'd been chatting to a few other couples for a while and decided to try arrange a social. Both me and Mr work very different hours so there's quite a lot of time during a week where one of us is available, other isn't. This is explained early on in our chats. All of the couples had spoken to both of us on here, at length, as well.

So, times/dates were discussed. What suprised me though, is every couple we tried to arrange a social with point blank refused to meet Mr alone if the time they suggested to meet only meant he would be free - citing "we only meet couples together" as the reason - yet all seemed very happy to sort out a time and arrange a social at a time where I could attend alone, and he would be at work or otherwise busy.

Now, I would fully get it if it was a meet both, or not at all scenario; that seems perfectly fair and understandable. What I can't quite understand is why goalposts are moved, and suddenly the "we only meet couples alone" criteria didn't matter?

Is it because in reality the vast majority of couples, despite indicating they want to meet other couples, actually just want a female to join them and they have to accept the other male in a couple as collateral? Or is it because generally the male runs/admins their account and thinks his luck may be in, whereas there's no chance of him getting anything sexual out of it if it progressed into sex? Or is it the distrustful nature of the majority of male profiles on this site, never mind if they're in a couple and meet verified, is so strong some people will genuinely do what they can to avoid a meet?

I've cut contact with all of them, as I said it seemed a bit shady they preach that they don't meet halves of couples alone yet would make every exception to meet a female half alone.

Just really confused by the double standards, per se!

Thoughts?

C xoxo

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By *rincessandthebearCouple
10 weeks ago

Alton

I would say that’s it’s down to a lot of ‘couples’ profiles actually just being a single guy masquerading as a couple- my gut reaction would be that this was the case if it was only the guy who could attend.

Personally we wouldn’t do a social meet either way if only one of the couple could make it.

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
10 weeks ago

North Somerset

"I would say that’s it’s down to a lot of ‘couples’ profiles actually just being a single guy masquerading as a couple- my gut reaction would be that this was the case if it was only the guy who could attend.

Personally we wouldn’t do a social meet either way if only one of the couple could make it. "

I agree on the distrust issue.

But I also understand the OP's confusion that they'd happily meet a woman alone but not the male half of a couple.

Maybe if a new profile, or one with no recent verifications confirming they're genuine. But as its just a social we'd have no issue meeting either half separately, on the basis that it was just a social. We'd still want a social with both present before anything else may potentially happen, but it's understandable that couples may have different work patterns, or childcare issues and that it can sometimes be tricky to both be free at the same time.

But people will do what people do. You won't change their minds, so just use it as a filter and move on to someone who approaches life the same way you do. 🤷‍♂️

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By *herrybakewellCouple
10 weeks ago

Staffordshire

People will be very cynical of this type of situation because it's sometimes not a real couple.

It's often a case where the male will be available a lot more frequently than the female.

We however just have a rule. With couples we take it in turns. One of us won't keep meeting someone if the other person isn't getting their turn.

I hope you guys find what you're looking for.

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By *issmorganWoman
10 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I think you're right op, the majority of couples do what a fem to join them.Plus there's certain double standards that happen for women on here in the way they're viewed /treated compared to men at times.

You're verified with pics of you both, so unlikely it's just the man meeting behind his partners back.

I'm half a couple and I have permission to meet alone, as he does. However nobody has ever asked to confirm this with my other half and I have happily spoken to ladies and couples who wanted to meet him alone and wanted to double check with me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
10 weeks ago

East Sussex

It's rare for women to pretend to be a couple because single women who will meet couples are like gold dust so they have no need.

Men on the other hand...

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By *endalshaggers OP Couple
10 weeks ago

Lake District

Thanks for the replies ❤️.

Would totally understand if we were a brand new profile, completely unverified and all of that.

Just really confused me to be honest, the changing of goalposts but people are confusing I guess!

C xoxo

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By *he Old School RockersCouple
10 weeks ago

Gloucester

Can’t answer as to why others didn’t mind meeting just the F socially when the M couldn’t be present but for us if you both can’t meet at the same time socially or otherwise then we don’t meet.

Kink (Mrs)

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By *acky RacersCouple
10 weeks ago

Lincoln

It's because so many couple profiles turn out to be single males or attached men using their unsuspecting partner as bait to meet couples.

Having said that, if we'd chatted to a couple and all felt well...we'd happily arrange to meet only the male half...but it would only be with our male half...

I would say, that if a social together is so difficult to arrange, we'd suspect a play meet would also be under the same kind of constriction and probably not pursue contact...

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By *iss DevilWoman
10 weeks ago

Bedford

In my opinion, it's because a lot of couples on here are, actually, just after ladies, and they only "tolerate" the fact the lady comes with a male partner. Also, if they wanted just a male, there are two a penny on here.

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By *entleman JayMan
10 weeks ago

Wakefield

I know of two occasions when a female friend of mine went to meet a “couple” only to discover that the female of the couple was no longer around.

I know of one couples profile on here where the couple split up long ago.

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By *ature SpiceCouple
10 weeks ago

Ramsbottom

We would never meet a couple unless both are there.

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By *iss KinkWoman
10 weeks ago

North West

"We would never meet a couple unless both are there. "

Same

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By *ellinever70Woman
10 weeks ago

Ayrshire

If the woman can't be free to meet socially, then what changes that she'd be able to meet for sex?

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By *imon and saffyCouple
10 weeks ago

southampton

We've had the male of a couple say he'd meet us to vet as to whether they would meet. He was told in no uncertain terms that we weren't about to agree.

Like others have said no women masquerade as a couple but plenty of men do, even when they have previously met as a couple but have since split.

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
10 weeks ago

Stockport

We are having a similar conversation ourselves

And for us who only play as a couple , it's a tough one

Bur we have played with either half of a couple

But that was down the line after we had a social and had played as a 4

We understand time , work , kids etc can make things tricky

But not as tricky as the other half walking in and having no idea what's going on

So bare minimum of a social and lay out some ground rules for us

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
10 weeks ago

Newry

"Thanks for the replies ❤️.

Would totally understand if we were a brand new profile, completely unverified and all of that.

Just really confused me to be honest, the changing of goalposts but people are confusing I guess!

C xoxo"

The majority of your verifications are on cam and many don't set a lot of store in those, so it really could be a case of wanting to make sure the female half of your couple exists.

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By *ustus5555Woman
10 weeks ago

Mansfield

Similar but reverse scenario. If I get chatting to a cpl and it looks like progressing to a social, I always explain that the hubby will be with me on initial meet. This is for MY safety. In all honesty would you let your wife out to meet a cpl who could be ,,, well you get the gist.

Put simply, if they won't adhere to that one stipulation then it's over before ots started.

How lone ladies manage is beyond me. I'd assume they take some sort of chaperone or other safety precautions.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
10 weeks ago

Halifax

I will share our views and this is just our view, I am not judging anyone's else's opinion.

If a couple can't make time to do social together then we will politely move on. Put simply, if managing time for a social is so difficult for someone then it is unlikely they will manage time to get a play meet in.

As for meeting women vs men alone, we will probably block and move on if anyone suggests social with male half alone, simply because we have been here a while and have come across a lot of chancers, dreamers and fakers. Appreciate OP may not be one of them but who has the time and we all need a filtering mechanism.

We probably won't meet female alone either.

If we really like someone, like really really like and meeting both halves separately is the only option then we will prefer to meet female first, to make sure it isn't just a guy pretending to be a couple.

OP has some verifications but not enough to justify us making an exception.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
10 weeks ago

Halifax

The majority of your verifications are on cam and many don't set a lot of store in those, so it really could be a case of wanting to make sure the female half of your couple exists. "

This !!!

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By *herryEatersCouple
10 weeks ago

East Cheshire

We met the guy of a couple when he was working nearby. Just a social and another with his Mrs asap before anything happened, this was made very clear repeatedly. Yet THREE times he made a move on Cherry. He hadn't even showered from work and yes we never met his Mrs... We're open to meeting half of couples with good reason as long as there's respect and boundaries are adhered to !

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By *endalshaggers OP Couple
10 weeks ago

Lake District

"Thanks for the replies ❤️.

Would totally understand if we were a brand new profile, completely unverified and all of that.

Just really confused me to be honest, the changing of goalposts but people are confusing I guess!

C xoxo

The majority of your verifications are on cam and many don't set a lot of store in those, so it really could be a case of wanting to make sure the female half of your couple exists. "

Well hopefully tonight's in meet verification from a lady helps that then!!! Two in person verifications in the last few days, if people still want to play the "can't be a real couple" card that's on them 🙄🙄

C xoxo

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By *unshine 57Woman
10 weeks ago

essex

I have chatted to so many “couples” who have veris for couples, yet it’s the male half that wants to meet me. Not both. Its very frustrating tbh

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By *iss DevilWoman
10 weeks ago

Bedford

"Thanks for the replies ❤️.

Would totally understand if we were a brand new profile, completely unverified and all of that.

Just really confused me to be honest, the changing of goalposts but people are confusing I guess!

C xoxo

The majority of your verifications are on cam and many don't set a lot of store in those, so it really could be a case of wanting to make sure the female half of your couple exists.

C xoxo"

The verifications that are now not showing on your profile any more? Apart from the verification summary? Don't know if it's intentional, and of course you are allowed to run your profile however you wish. But this is not helping prove what you want to prove.

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By *ink vixenCouple
10 weeks ago

Medway

We often get messages or invitations where, with the merest of queries it’s apparent that the couple is really only seeking a lady to join them.

I’m supposed to be sidelined once the fun starts or better still left at home.

Disrespectful (and over confident) twats.

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By *acky RacersCouple
10 weeks ago

Lincoln

"Similar but reverse scenario. If I get chatting to a cpl and it looks like progressing to a social, I always explain that the hubby will be with me on initial meet. This is for MY safety. In all honesty would you let your wife out to meet a cpl who could be ,,, well you get the gist.

Put simply, if they won't adhere to that one stipulation then it's over before ots started.

How lone ladies manage is beyond me. I'd assume they take some sort of chaperone or other safety precautions.

See, that would also be a no for us...if single women only meet with a male partner, their reasons are their own but they're a couple, not a single woman...

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By *he Happy ManMan
10 weeks ago

Merseyside

Personally we wouldn’t do a social meet either way if only one of the couple could make it.

I agree on the distrust issue.

But I also understand the OP's confusion that they'd happily meet a woman alone but not the male half of a couple.

But people will do what people do. You won't change their minds, so just use it as a filter and move on to someone who approaches life the same way you do. 🤷‍♂️

You don't get females pretending to be a couple. You do get males pretending to be a couple. Hence why some will meet the female half alone and not the male half alone.

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By *ojo2joWoman
10 weeks ago

Penclawdd

I also have a couples account. The ultimate decision to meet a single lady or couple is mine because my other half wants me to be comfortable and trusts me to make the decision. Therefore, I do meet socially alone because it’s the connection with the other lady that’s most important to me/ us. If that goes well then we can move to a second social. Also, for some single ladies it could be less scary to meet half the couple to start.

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
10 weeks ago

Chester

If I’m meeting a couple I want to socially meet both, at the same time. I want to see what the dynamic is like between them, and where I might fit in. Time’s precious, and I’m not going to spend it meeting separately multiple times.

And to address the single woman safety point, there are loads of things you can do before needing to enlist a chaperone! (Eg social meet only first, public place, let someone know where you’re going, have safety checkins with someone via text/phone, play-meets on neutral ground, only play in clubs etc etc.) Everyone’s risk profile is different, but I hate the implication that this lifestyle is too dangerous without an (imaginary) husband.

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By *neeyedwillieMan
10 weeks ago

Darlington

I have a couples account with my wife. I meet solo frequently just due to work or whatever. My wife's into meeting women so mostly for her..its the club together.

Made no difference how well verified as a couple we where. If they had not met us both previously, the assumption was, I was cheating or lying. No amount of veris (and we do a lot of social events together) or explanations in the profile made any difference.

Each to their own. I dont have to justify it to anyone anymore than they have to justify their reasons to me. There's no shortage of "single guy" accounts on here so I just changed it up and stuck to clubs and socials when I'm out alone. Be nice to meet through fab but I've gave up on it a long time ago.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
10 weeks ago

Bristol/ Daventry

IMO there’s little benefit in meeting for a social when the couple isn’t full swap, but is also straight.

We wouldn’t meet the woman on her own as it screams potential drama/jealousy. I have no interest in watching mr in a soft swap scenario. Or having to find the time a second time for a social so I can see if there is chemistry with Mr. But if it’s not full swap then it’s super unclear what the meet is for. Profile advice wasn’t asked for so I’m trying to avoid veering down that path accidentally.

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By *rpeggioCouple
10 weeks ago

Baughurst

"I will share our views and this is just our view, I am not judging anyone's else's opinion.

...

___

This would be exactly our view!

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By *aomilatteCouple
10 weeks ago

Midlands

"I will share our views and this is just our view, I am not judging anyone's else's opinion.

...

___

This would be exactly our view!"

Same here, it's probably the view of 99% of swingers on here.

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By *iss KinkWoman
10 weeks ago

North West

"I have a couples account with my wife. I meet solo frequently just due to work or whatever. My wife's into meeting women so mostly for her..its the club together.

As you have said you don’t get meets from fab so it’s a totally different situation

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