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Disabled Wife, giving me a hall pass.

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By *ixie-Werewolf OP   Couple
5 weeks ago

Dudley

Hi all, been on this site for some time as a couple, met up with one or two people as well, but that was year and years ago, before we had kids and before my wife’s mobility deteriorated.

So long story short, my wife of 11 years has MS and over the last couple of years her mobility and general health has declined, we’ve had discussions about the lack of intimacy we’ve had for the last 2 years, and my wife says that she doesn’t want me to miss out because her libido has gone due to the MS, and suggested I go on here solo to meet someone to enable me to have a fulfilling sex life.

Just out of curiosity, has anyone else had this before? how did it go? we were fine playing together as a couple because we were still together, but I’m struggling with the feeling that I would be being unfaithful to her.

Also, I’m guessing as a male on their own, it’s a lot harder to find matches than it is as a couple?

Wolf x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

It will be more difficult than when you were meeting as a couple for sure. There's not much you can do about that but anecdotal evidence says you'd have better luck in clubs.

I think struggling with the feeling of being unfaithful is entirely natural and shows the regard you have for your wife. I don't know what you can do about that.

Best wishes to both of you

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
5 weeks ago

Coventry

This is very common, especially in this community. We've come across many halves of couple for reasons similar.

However I been on the scene as a single male and as a couple. It's hard for guys going alone single or not. Sometimes being attached with permission is and advantage, however sometimes it's not (to the two probably cancel each other out on the whole).

You have a single profile which is a good start. It explains your situation and links to your couples profile. As an attached lone male it's best to work in areas where this is more of a strength. Personally I would say that's more on the club/party scene. Do you go clubs or parties? Also can you look to freinds on the scene or previous encounters? Because people who've had you as a couple know your good and genuine and may like to have you as a lone male too. Or just let freinds know your looking for meets as they maybe able to recommend you to others or send party invites your way. Because some of the most successful guys tend to work by word of mouth rather than being just another profile in a huge sea of male profiles.

Mr

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By *itplayssoloWoman
4 weeks ago

leeds

Quite honestly, I think for the right people your situation could work.

I play solo and with my partner, but we are ethically non-monogamous. I respect you being upfront about your personal situation and as someone who is fed up of men cheating on their wives unknowingly, it would be reassuring that your wife was onboard despite the sad circumstances. This post and your wife's decision to let you experience life just speaks volumes about how much you clearly both love each other and as someone who is poly, that's truly beautiful to me.

What I would be prepared for if I was you is that some women might want to speak to your wife briefly to make sure she is on board if it might be a repeat situation. Us swinging women can be very wary of accidentally becoming "the other woman" it's not fair to anyone involved.

I would suggest getting yourself out there to club events, talking to everyone even if you don't find them attractive and making friends. Things will happen organically from that. There are less single men on the club scene than there used to be and even less who are polite, carry a conversation and give you the time of the day beyond trying to jump in on things already happening in the playrooms. Your best plan of attack is to remember that women's arousal starts in the mind, we are flattered by a man who takes the time to chat us up at the bar in a respectful way and singles us out and we can be literally charmed into the playroom.

Best of luck to you both x

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By *anonfire96Man
4 weeks ago

Mansfield

Hmm my wife had Huntingtons for decades, I was her carer for many of them, I went without sex for over 15 years, it never crossed my mind to stray. We were together from the age of 15. I never felt like I was missing out, Definitely making up for now though.

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