FabSwingers.com forum: Opening message from guys

By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

I know its hard for guys to get messages read and replied to. My question is what kind of good messages do women and couples receive? And what type (give examples guys) do you send that get a rare reply?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
37 weeks ago

East Sussex

Good messages *for us* are friendly and chatty without being crude.

Do you really want examples from other men? Just be yourself, everyone else is taken

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By *layfullsamMan
37 weeks ago

Solihull

"I know its hard for guys to get messages read and replied to. My question is what kind of good messages do women and couples receive? And what type (give examples guys) do you send that get a rare reply?

I offer cake and cocktails

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
37 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Good messages *for us* are friendly and chatty without being crude.

Do you really want examples from other men? Just be yourself, everyone else is taken

This!

On the couples account, if we get a dull 'hi' or 'nice pics' we'll not read it and just hit delete.

That said, we look at the profile before opening a message and if there's little to go on, or it's a dickfest we'll not bother reading those either.

Doesn't have to be war and peace, just interesting and showing they've actually read the profile.

There's no one size fits all so don't look for one.

And never, ever, copy and paste. We got one yesterday, replied and eventually cut the chat as it went OTT rapidly. 5 mins later she got the exact same opening message on her single profile. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

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By (user no longer on site) OP
37 weeks ago

"Good messages *for us* are friendly and chatty without being crude.

Do you really want examples from other men? Just be yourself, everyone else is taken

Ah yea good point x

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By *eroLondonMan
37 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Do you really want examples from other men? Just be yourself, everyone else is taken

I won't be divulging my intellectual property here, nor my secrets or necromancy. 😉

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By *ccasionallyNaughtyWoman
37 weeks ago

Nearby

Definitely none of the "I'm gonna do this and that to you" wank chat stuff ⛔️

Or the "I'm a dom" 50 shades-esque chaps.

If its clear the writer has actually read my straightforward profile before sending a message I'll usually reply.

That said, the most common reply I send to men is: "Your copy and paste message is receiving my standard copy and paste response". They of course all swear blind that they would never copy and paste a message 🤣

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By *layfullsamMan
37 weeks ago

Solihull

I can give you loads that haven’t worked

lol

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By *itygamesMan
37 weeks ago

introduce yourself as you would in a pub to a stranger/strangers......if they chat back , carry on chatting..........if no reply..........walk away

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By *erigold300Couple
37 weeks ago

Doncaster

We aren’t looking for single guys, but those who have sent polite messages are saved, for when we do look for single guys.

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By *enk15Man
37 weeks ago

Evesham

I've had the most replies from messages where I have just been myself and said the first thing that comes to mind after reading their profile.

Just be you, OP, you got this.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

i dont mean this in a horrible way but if you cant write a simple message to someone then your not going to get anywhere on this scene as a guy its going to be hard enogh fgor you just being a guy and the fact that there are zillions of you ...

theres no one way all women are different and what they are looking for is you to be you and what you are looking for..

its like profile advice = more boring samey get nowhere profiles ...be you not someone else....

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

No one can give you or tell you a first message.

It’s about resonating to something in a profile or something in the forums.

Remaining respectful

And then you’re not guaranteed a reply. However, for me, message those that only genuinely maybe of interest to you rather than messaging all

Keep it simple and unique

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By *randMrsMaybeCouple
37 weeks ago

hyde

All depends on what you're looking for .... for us....

What doesn't work...

Free tonight?

I'm in your area

I'd like to get to know you and see if we connect

Your Mrs has got a juicy body that I wanna ..... XYZ

What works.....

Hey, saw that you're at -insert club name- on... -day-wondered if you fancied grabbing a drink and maybe more?

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By *xixWoman
37 weeks ago

Coventry/Canary Wharf

"All depends on what you're looking for .... for us....

What doesn't work...

Free tonight?

I'm in your area

I'd like to get to know you and see if we connect

Your Mrs has got a juicy body that I wanna ..... XYZ

What works.....

Hey, saw that you're at -insert club name- on... -day-wondered if you fancied grabbing a drink and maybe more?

I'm single, though very similar feelings to the above.

I delete messages that just say "hi", or "I love your xyz" (so what?). But those that have clearly thought about the content of my profile and are aroused by it, well they'll aroused me

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By *xixWoman
37 weeks ago

Coventry/Canary Wharf

"All depends on what you're looking for .... for us....

What doesn't work...

Free tonight?

I'm in your area

I'd like to get to know you and see if we connect

Your Mrs has got a juicy body that I wanna ..... XYZ

What works.....

Hey, saw that you're at -insert club name- on... -day-wondered if you fancied grabbing a drink and maybe more?

I'm single, though very similar feelings to the above.

I delete messages that just say "hi", or "I love your xyz" (so what?). But those that have clearly thought about the content of my profile and are aroused by it, well they'll arouse me

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By *oleraine-coupleCouple
37 weeks ago

Coleraine

We want to know about you and why you think we would be a good match, why you like us, what makes you a good choice, why you are safe, reliable, nice, respectful etc

Most messages from me we get are a single line then like just now a guy wishing to meet us after three short messages on one day.

Everyone who had ever met us has been one who made a real effort in his messaging over several weeks

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By *jonesMan
37 weeks ago

south west

If you can pick something relevant and witty to their profile..and just start to chat ...I've found that so much better than trying to sell how wonderfully i match them etc

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
37 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Uh.

Something relevant to something I've said or shown, beyond the general Ur hot from photos.

Something that actually invites a response and conversation to flow from it. Rather than just saying they want a conversation and expecting me to do the legwork.

Positive or interesting, as opposed to negative amd disparaging, either of themselves or others.

From a profile with enough profile text and images to give me an idea of physical attraction and general compatibility.

Otherwise the only likely response is No thanks 💜

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By *orelloCouple
37 weeks ago

Hitchin

Must be just us....you could be an unbelievable wordsmith...however we go straight to the photos

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By *lleyCat1969Man
37 weeks ago

Folkestone

It's not just single guys who send cut and paste messages.

I had a message this afternoon from a couple who clearly hadn't read my profile and it even began with hi [another chap's profile name].

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By *enelope2UWoman
37 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

A message that has CLEARLY read my profile and shows originality.. the end there's no secret power..

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By *enelope2UWoman
37 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

"Uh.

Something relevant to something I've said or shown, beyond the general Ur hot from photos.

Something that actually invites a response and conversation to flow from it. Rather than just saying they want a conversation and expecting me to do the legwork.

Positive or interesting, as opposed to negative amd disparaging, either of themselves or others.

From a profile with enough profile text and images to give me an idea of physical attraction and general compatibility.

Otherwise the only likely response is No thanks 💜"

Exactly!!!

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By *rimals at PlayCouple
37 weeks ago

Manchester

Be polite, be direct, be yourself.

If something on our profile interests you then mention it.

But if you want something we don't do, don't pretend you want something else just to get talking - we ain't changing our mind.

We'd rather chat to 1-2 people we have the chance to progress with that 100-200 fantasists, people who want to force their kink on us or have no intention of meeting/playing on our terms.

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