FabSwingers.com forum: Profile "too long"

By *ayleigh1111 OP Woman
9 weeks ago

Liverpool

I always ask people to read my profile first,which leads to a lot of messages of men complaining it's too long, and I'm asking for too much.

Is it really hard to read people's profiles? If I was sending messages out, I would absolutely read all of it.

I'll not be changing at all, but I'm wondering if people really find long profiles annoying?

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
9 weeks ago

Leeds

I wouldn't read past the shouting, negativity isn't sexy, but that's just me, I'm not your target audience.

Men rarely read profiles and if it's shouty/demanding I'm guessing they wouldn't read much further either.

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By *endalshaggersCouple
9 weeks ago

Kendal

Don't think yours is too bad at all.

Unfortunately it seems very few people genuinely read a profile, or only read the bits they're interested in.

Ours used to be a lot shorter but had to lengthen it purely to try and stem getting messages with the same questions over and over again.

While it's worked to a degree, if we had a pound for everytime we get a "so what are you looking for?".....

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By *ayleigh1111 OP Woman
9 weeks ago

Liverpool

Absolutely,that's the point isn't it you see something you don't like you can just move on x

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By *ayleigh1111 OP Woman
9 weeks ago

Liverpool

Thank you x I only put all what I put in so no one is wasting time but seems pointless haha

Agree the repetitive what you looking for is boring x

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By *neeyedwillieMan
9 weeks ago

Darlington

Yes it is too hard because what is the point of me reading it?

Try to see it from my point of view.

Let's assume I want to message you. I've got to read your profile, write a customised message tjat i think appeals to you and then hope my message will be responded to out of the other hundreds of messages you'll get on here.

Statistically speaking, all you'll do is take one look at my photo and say yes or no based on that.

Even if you do respond, it's then a ping pong message situation and then arranging a meet of you "feel the vibe". Then we if we get to the meet, I've got to do all the seduction, yadda yadda.

But at any time you can just say..nah not feeling it.

And that is your right and I'm not saying any of the above is a bad thing. It's just a realistic thing for a man on fab.

In short we have to put time and effort in to jump through hoops to potentially get to the end result.

And my experiance on fab is that 99% of the time I get no interest from any messages I send.

So I stopped bothering because tjat is all that was happening on here.

Instead I go to clubs and social events. I can gauge attraction in th3 flesh, do my thing, flirt there and then etc and know very quickly if it's going anywhere or not.

And I do very well in the flesh.

It's not a criticism of you or any other woman in here. It's just I find the online stuff tedious. It's a lot of effort for little reward and the amount of posts from.guys not getting meets in the forums should be an indication how different it is between men and women on here.

Women get attention online. Men do not. In real life however its far more balanced and organic. There's no sitting and thinking about what I'm going to say to you to get the best reault, I just say what comes naturally in the heat of the moment. We meet the real.versions of each other so to speak, not the online version that wants to create a tick list of wants as if we are all products.

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By *iss Boot LoverTV/TS
9 weeks ago

Tetbury

If they don't have time to read your profile, they won't have time for you.

It's pretty simple and sets out what you are looking for.

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By *ayleigh1111 OP Woman
9 weeks ago

Liverpool

Thank you this is exactly my thoughts x

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By *rill PhilMan
9 weeks ago

Crediton

I find it shocking that guys will refer to reading as "effort". That's depressing to say the least.

If you expect a woman to allow you to put your dirty meat stick inside her friend purse, the LEAST you can do is read a couple of paragraphs.

If you think reading is effort, what would she assume your attitude in the bedroom is?

Personally, inorefer a longer profile. It shows that the person has actually thought about what they want, and I think people with longer blurbs tend to be more likely to not be bits or scammers.

Ignore the haters! Extend those profiles ladies! X

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By *ayleigh1111 OP Woman
9 weeks ago

Liverpool

Sad someone's felt the need to inbox me attacking how I look!!!

You are more than OK to disagree with me but personal insults says more about you than me thought we where all grown adults her ?

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By *rill PhilMan
9 weeks ago

Crediton

"Sad someone's felt the need to inbox me attacking how I look!!!

You are more than OK to disagree with me but personal insults says more about you than me thought we where all grown adults her ? "

To be fair, that's a tried and tested method for getting laid. All women love being insulted for their appearance don't they?

Jokes aside... I've looked at your public pics and as far as I'm concerned, the eyes do not go wanting

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
9 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

Yeah I'm with op. I've got no sympathy for those who can't be arsed to read the profile of the person they're messaging.

I've had both long and short bios and it doesn't actually matter how long or short your profile is, certain people still won't read it.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
9 weeks ago

Wherever

I will make my profile as long/short/demanding as I want. Look at it as another useful filter, for both parties involved.

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By *WANDTGCouple
9 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

Each to their own, at least you have bullet points. So anyone can skim over those, if one of those wasn't for us then I would never contact that person.

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By *neeyedwillieMan
9 weeks ago

Darlington

"I find it shocking that guys will refer to reading as "effort". That's depressing to say the least.

If you expect a woman to allow you to put your dirty meat stick inside her friend purse, the LEAST you can do is read a couple of paragraphs.

If you think reading is effort, what would she assume your attitude in the bedroom is?

Personally, inorefer a longer profile. It shows that the person has actually thought about what they want, and I think people with longer blurbs tend to be more likely to not be bits or scammers.

Ignore the haters! Extend those profiles ladies! X"

People really need to come offline and deal with each other face to face again..

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By *ornucopiaMan
9 weeks ago

Bexley

Apart from the excessive use of capitals, check the spelling of 'non'. I realise that people up north pronounce 'none' as 'non' so there is less confusion with convent sisters but the two words have different meanings.

I only skim read the text, by the way but happy to help!

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By *eroLondonMan
9 weeks ago

Mayfair

I don't find them annoying. Far from it - if the profile narrative is engaging and interesting then it's likely that I will find the person equally interesting. I enjoy reading long profiles which are informative, lighthearted and injected with a little humour.

I have a long profile and it attracts those of a similar mindset to me and detracts those who are too vacuous to read it.

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By *huramMan
9 weeks ago

London

Read your profile and it's not too long.

It clearly explains what you do and don't want.

That's good.

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By *WB85Man
9 weeks ago

Staffordshire

You know exactly what you want, that's not a bad thing.

The right people will read it....but working out which.....that's the difficult part.

Good luck with your search.

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By *oxy jWoman
9 weeks ago

taunton somerset

its your profile after all your here for you and those that dont like it clearly are not whom you are looking for ..stick to what you want do swinging how you want their are no rules except consent ..no is no thats it

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By *tephanie63Woman
9 weeks ago

BRIDGWATER

I don't read long profiles unless I,m really interested in meeting the person.

Long profiles don't annoy me though, I just move on to the next person.

I would not read a profile (long or short) with shouting capitals at the start. That suggests an angry person x

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By *ensherman333Man
9 weeks ago

Newcastle

"I always ask people to read my profile first,which leads to a lot of messages of men complaining it's too long, and I'm asking for too much.

Is it really hard to read people's profiles? If I was sending messages out, I would absolutely read all of it.

I'll not be changing at all, but I'm wondering if people really find long profiles annoying?

Calm down, calm down, sorry couldn’t resist the old Harry Enfield joke x

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By *electableicecreamMan
9 weeks ago

The West

I stopped reading because of the shouting. At the glance the rest doesn't look too long at all tbh

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By *ualityNotQuantityUKCouple
9 weeks ago

Leicester

I wouldn't take it personally, it's not just FAB where people can't be arsed to read what's been written but expect you to reply, mostly repeating yourself. I've advertised vehicles and property recently and 90% of questions asked are answered in the advertisement text. Unfortunately people seem to live in a world of expectation now where they have to do very little but expect everybody else to run round after them.

Use it as a filter, if they can't be arsed to read your profile, they are not worth worrying about, much as you do.

As for your particular profile, can't see what's wrong with stating what you looking for, especially as a woman who's spoilt for choice. Although I would say that there is an overuse of capital letters.

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By *CExeCouple
9 weeks ago

Lincoln/Exeter

Profile looks fine. Ours is a but ranty too in places, but it lets people know everything and if they ignore it, we know they're not for us. Excess capitals are the only thing we'd criticise.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
9 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"Yes it is too hard because what is the point of me reading it?

Try to see it from my point of view.

Statistically speaking, all you'll do is take one look at my photo and say yes or no based on that.

Even if you do respond, it's then a ping pong message situation and then arranging a meet of you "feel the vibe". Then we if we get to the meet, I've got to do all the seduction, yadda yadda.

But at any time you can just say..nah not feeling it.

And that is your right and I'm not saying any of the above is a bad thing. It's just a realistic thing for a man on fab.

In short we have to put time and effort in to jump through hoops to potentially get to the end result.

And my experiance on fab is that 99% of the time I get no interest from any messages I send.

So I stopped bothering because tjat is all that was happening on here."

Statistically speaking, if seeing whether the person behind the pretty pictures is your kind of people is too much effort for you, it probably isn't worth you reaching out at all.

Both sides have to engage in the 'ping pong' messages. Either party can suggest an appropriate time and place, and if only you have to put effort into the 'seduction' in person, then why on earth are you bothering yourself?

As a physically attractive woman I won't deny that I get plenty of attention that I prefer to dismiss. But when it's someone that actually interests and engages me it's absolutely a two way street. Someone who only sees some potential fuckmeat who doesn't have to try and thinks even attempting to talk to me as an actual human is a waste of their time is not likely to be someone I'm ever going to feel the desire to engage with.

OP, if someone doesn't want to read all of your profile that's just fine. You just know to chuck their message straight in the bin 💜

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By *ellhungvweMan
9 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I switch off as soon as I see a long list of “requirements”.

Distance aside, I would have no idea if I was suitable because there is no way I would read all of that.

It doesn’t work for me but if it works for you then

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By *iss DevilWoman
9 weeks ago

Bedford

OP, I think your profile is not too long. However, it doesn't matter how long the profile is, some people (men mostly) would still not bother to get past the initial photos. Even if you are very clear in the very first line you're not meeting/only meeting at clubs etc. As one of the posters above explained (and I could see his point), men can't be bothered reading profiles and/or writing customised message just to be ignored for whatever reason. So they cast massive nets, hoping they would catch something. Don't think any amount of Fab forum posts is going to change that, sadly. Also, a lot of the times, they think with their lower brain when messaging.

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By *awpleasureMan
9 weeks ago

Sutton Coldfield

It's not overly long but the text in capitals at the start would put off a lot of people.

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By *ink vixenCouple
9 weeks ago

Medway

Jeez.

SHOUTY AND ANGRY!!

A profile should reflect the member appropriately I suppose.

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By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

Funny thing is I get the same from men as well even though I start of by saying I am not interested in them. Its annoying

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
9 weeks ago

Maidstone

Some people just haven’t got the time or inclination to read a long profile, as they believe this a an ‘Instashag’ app. If you are are appearing to be choosy or taking your time in deciding who you would prefer to bond with sexually, you are called out as being a time waster or a self entitled diva.

We’re not here to satisfy the impatient desperados. We already have great sex, so are not in any rush. People do make us laugh and the arrogance, sulking and insults just make us laugh harder.

Respect is a two way street. If they cannot be bothered to read or understand a profile, then we cannot be bothered with them.

Your body, your life, go live it your way.

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By *uncouple153Couple
9 weeks ago

Abergavenny

There is a balance between 1 line and war and peace

Many have that % sub list that nobody reads

Couple of paragraphs is perfect!

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By *einvented_guyMan
9 weeks ago

Peterborough

Having read your profile, I think it’s good, you say what you want and don’t want.

The problem is the majority on here don’t read any profiles, so it makes for cluttered in boxes!!

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By *ellinever70Woman
9 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I prefer a short and snappy profile and to suss someone out by some chit chat

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By *AYENCouple
9 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

It took me less than two minutes to read, and it does what it's meant to do - determine if there's possible compatibility.

How someone can think two minutes of their time is too much I have no idea, but at least it makes it an easy decision to DAB them.

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By *eganMayWoman
9 weeks ago

Clevedon

For me it’s not about the length it’s about whether I find it engaging or not.

The profile is essentially an advert for you and for others to see if you’re compatible. So a perfect profile for me shows a sense of humour, has something I can relate to in it and leaves me intrigued to find out more about that person.

Long lists of what one doesn’t want puts me off reading altogether, because, to me, it makes that person sound really uninteresting.

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By *andPextraCouple
9 weeks ago

North West

Your profile needs to work for you first and foremost.

Ours is long. We accept most wont read it. But that's ok. As we are looking for the 5% who will.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
9 weeks ago

Coventry

I see it from different perspectives depending whether you're a single male or a female couple. At least in terms of the pit falls of giving too much information. That's my (Mr) single profile is long and our couples one is not.

As to its too long for people, I would say its only too long for the wrong people.

First my (Mr) single Profile is long. I just wanted to give a really good feel for my personality, where I'm at and what I'm looking for. The feedback was alway good and a lot of the first messages I received and encounters I've had were based of what I'd written.

So that's good right? Well as a single male I'd not experience a whole line of women altering what they had to say to try and match what I've put in my bio.

However with guys the experience is different and it's better to keep things in the bio ambiguous and not give too much away. Because there are a few men out there who will message regardless of what you write. So if you give too much away there try tell you what you want to hear based of an educated guess. However if you give them not a lot to go off they don't have this insider information. Thus it's easier to distinguish the guys that are promising from the ones that are way off the mark. If that makes sense?

So in our couples profile we say very little. Just a brief flavour of our personality and the sort of people we like. People can veiw our photos and see our verifications and take it from there.

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By *ister.LibidoMan
8 weeks ago

Manchester

Statistically, guys need to spam their messages as they rarely get replies back even with a well-written message and a decent profile. That can be disheartening and feels like time wasted. It's faster to message multiple people with a basic message as you are more likely to get a reply that way. Also, it's less personal so it's not taken as personal then.

I understand women filter their messages. From the guys point of view you care less if your low effort message is deleted vs a well written thought-provoking one that may get lost within the hundreds of messages women get.

That's just how it is on online stuff. Sucks for everybody.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Central

It's a personal choice what you have and how much you have, in your profile.

Likewise, it's a personal choice of people who are potentially interested in you, to decide whether or not they will invest time and energy into learning about you and what you opt to share.

I'd view it as the perfect filtering tool, wanting to have nothing to do with lazy, uninterested people, as they're probably not dedicated to your satisfaction

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By *enelope2UWoman
8 weeks ago

Fife

"I always ask people to read my profile first,which leads to a lot of messages of men complaining it's too long, and I'm asking for too much.

Is it really hard to read people's profiles? If I was sending messages out, I would absolutely read all of it.

I'll not be changing at all, but I'm wondering if people really find long profiles annoying?

Minus the caps it's pretty direct..I'd omit smelly because what guy will admit he's rank anyways. use that sentence and add it to your likes.. plus if it's an introduction you'd obviously know if he was smelly yourself

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By *nastasia777Woman
8 weeks ago

Wanstead

It doesn’t matter if they find it annoying, you’ve written a long profile for a reason and if they can’t be bothered to put the effort in then it’s their loss. I sometimes respond to profile ignored messages with a sarcastic remark.

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By *ashMan
8 weeks ago

Westhoughton

Not at all.. There's a lot you can learn about a person from what they have written about themselves. You know their likes and dislikes. So you already have a headstart on what to say or not say in a conversation. You also know if a person might be interested in what you have to offer. And you know if they match your interests as well.. So descriptive profiles are always better, especially for introverts who find it difficult to express themselves in fear of offending the other person..

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By *neeyedwillieMan
8 weeks ago

Darlington

"Yes it is too hard because what is the point of me reading it?

Try to see it from my point of view.

Statistically speaking, all you'll do is take one look at my photo and say yes or no based on that.

Even if you do respond, it's then a ping pong message situation and then arranging a meet of you "feel the vibe". Then we if we get to the meet, I've got to do all the seduction, yadda yadda.

But at any time you can just say..nah not feeling it.

And that is your right and I'm not saying any of the above is a bad thing. It's just a realistic thing for a man on fab.

In short we have to put time and effort in to jump through hoops to potentially get to the end result.

And my experiance on fab is that 99% of the time I get no interest from any messages I send.

So I stopped bothering because tjat is all that was happening on here.

Statistically speaking, if seeing whether the person behind the pretty pictures is your kind of people is too much effort for you, it probably isn't worth you reaching out at all.

OP, if someone doesn't want to read all of your profile that's just fine. You just know to chuck their message straight in the bin 💜"

You've just proven every.poj t I had to make.

It's all about you. You want someone to jump through hoops to engage you. You want them to go above and beyond all.the others to make you feel special.

But only if you find them atteactive of course.

You see the problem here is your mindset and the delusions you ladies have.

You say you want to be talked to like a fellow.human being and I fully.agree with that...

But I know how you all operate.

My wife,.on.our couples.account wont read anything said by other couples. It's just look at the photo, yay or nay. That's it.

OK thats just one woman...

But i see the same thing at the club all the time. I have plenty of female freinds at the club who will just sit in there phones swiping..the messages don't even get read, just the photos looked at.

You will be no different. All you want is an you find attractive to say the right things to.you.

You can throw out the fuckmeat statements all.you like because that is a two way street. Your looking at the fella.the exact same.way.

You are not meeting and never will meet someone you don't find attractive and you won't waste your time engaging with someone you don't think is attractive from looking at that first photo.

This is why I personally.cut all the online bullshit out.

I talk with people at clubs and socials and don't waste my time on here because it litterally.is all.a two.way Street but on here it's all one way favouring the women.

Yes...I get that you ladies get a lot.of disrespectful shite in your inbox. No argument about that. But there is always the other side as well and there are far to.many women on here expecting princess treatment when they are not princesses. Far to.many ladies with "preffrences" for something exceptional, flat out rude demand.or worse, looking for sugar daddies now.

But.you don't see that. You just have the female.experiance on here which is not the same as the male experiance.

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By *rlandoMan
8 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Anyone with a very long list of what they don t like comes across as very negative and off putting . no matter male or female .

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By *teveanddebsCouple
8 weeks ago

Norwich

Our first impression, based on the shouty bit was avoid like the plague but we're not your target audience.

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

We have been blocked due to the length of our profile 😂

If they wont read the profile then they don't get to play.

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