FabSwingers.com forum: First timers - meet at home or BGHS?

By *rickOrTreat1 OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Sussex

Hi all, we're tentatively dipping our toes into the world of swinging.

Our profile has been live for a while, however after a failed meet we haven't found the confidence to try again...yet!

We've spoken about the best way to get into it and looking for some advice or tips

Mrs would prefer a meet with someone she has built a rapport with...Mr would prefer trying BGHS and meeting at random.

So question, if you were to start out again what would you do?

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By *hat.coupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Dartford

"Hi all, we're tentatively dipping our toes into the world of swinging.

Our profile has been live for a while, however after a failed meet we haven't found the confidence to try again...yet!

We've spoken about the best way to get into it and looking for some advice or tips

Mrs would prefer a meet with someone she has built a rapport with...Mr would prefer trying BGHS and meeting at random.

So question, if you were to start out again what would you do? "

If we was to do it all again I would do everything the same. We started by messaging through here and got nowhere, then we went to a club and met people and made friends. As we only play with 'unicorns" we had a tough task on our hands starting out. Our first meet was with a lovely lady that we got introduced to by a couple we made friends with at the club. So if we hadn't gone to the club and made friends things may have been very different. I believe jumping in head first at the deep end is definitely the best way to proceed. As you are looking to play with couples you are very likely to find them at a club. We like clubs as you can sit and chat for a good while before deciding whether you'd like to do anything. I would argue that would be long enough to build a rapport with someone and discover if there's a connection.

Most importantly just go along and have fun, if things happen great! if they don't, oh well!. At least you've met some new people and gathered experience in the process.

Mrs x

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By *r swing2Man
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

I travelling down to Brighton next Friday 25th October for the weekend and I'll be visiting BGHS

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By *hat.coupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Dartford

Also most swinger clubs allow single men in on Fridays, you'd have no trouble finding willing participants in a club x

Mrs x

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By *oxy jWoman
4 weeks ago

somerset

"Also most swinger clubs allow single men in on Fridays, you'd have no trouble finding willing participants in a club x

Mrs x"

but if your like alot of us were attraction is key then clubs can be very hit n miss .... most club nights we do are just a great socials as not very often is there anyone in there of interest .... and if there is a guy its normally lets chat and take your phone number for a private meet rather that play in the club that attracts others where im having to say no all night as no attraction ..

we do clubs once a month have been for years and all over the uk and Europe when on a break

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By *rickOrTreat1 OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Sussex

Thanks for the replies.

I think for Mrs X attraction is a must. For Mr X it's fulfilling a fantasy, with the option of playing and trying different scenarios.

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By *r swing2Man
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

What fantasy do you have Mr X and what scenarios have you in mind?

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By *oxy jWoman
4 weeks ago

somerset

also top tip dont meet anyone at home unless you know them very well there are some crackpots on here who you dont need for them to know where you live ... trust is built not given

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By *r swing2Man
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 18/10/24 19:04:20]

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By *r swing2Man
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

"also top tip dont meet anyone at home unless you know them very well there are some crackpots on here who you dont need for them to know where you live ... trust is built not given"
so true

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By *oth0fusCouple
4 weeks ago

Dartford

"Hi all, we're tentatively dipping our toes into the world of swinging.

Our profile has been live for a while, however after a failed meet we haven't found the confidence to try again...yet!

We've spoken about the best way to get into it and looking for some advice or tips

Mrs would prefer a meet with someone she has built a rapport with...Mr would prefer trying BGHS and meeting at random.

So question, if you were to start out again what would you do? "

Hi we are a couple who have been together over 25 years and on here for a while.

We had our first meet this year and haven't looked back!

If you want to chat about it send us a message

Good luck xx

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By *rickOrTreat1 OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Sussex

"What fantasy do you have Mr X and what scenarios have you in mind?

Mr X wants to see Mrs X get screwed by another man, and join in (no male on male action). Then perhaps MFF and couple swaps.

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By *rickOrTreat1 OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Sussex

"Hi all, we're tentatively dipping our toes into the world of swinging.

Our profile has been live for a while, however after a failed meet we haven't found the confidence to try again...yet!

We've spoken about the best way to get into it and looking for some advice or tips

Mrs would prefer a meet with someone she has built a rapport with...Mr would prefer trying BGHS and meeting at random.

So question, if you were to start out again what would you do?

Hi we are a couple who have been together over 25 years and on here for a while.

We had our first meet this year and haven't looked back!

If you want to chat about it send us a message

Good luck xx"

That's great to hear you are enjoying it! Maybe we'll take the plunge soon

We've been together for a long time too, both up for spicing things up, just trying to find the right way to go about it.

Thanks x

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Northampton

Our thoughts.

BGHS is not a club. Totally different vibe

If you want to go and have a super chilled naked spa day with the possibility of some play, then put it on the list. Don’t play in the public areas, you will be chucked out

You may want to loosely arrange meets with guys in a club. By loosely we mean, chat on here briefly and arrange to meet, not exclusively at a club. You have an idea of attraction from their pictures, the thought of arranging a club meet soon s out the photo collectors. If you arrange to meet a few guys non exclusively it doesn’t matter if one or two bottle it and don’t show. If they all don’t show, no worries, a club load of guys to fastrack the process

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By *rickOrTreat1 OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Sussex

"Our thoughts.

BGHS is not a club. Totally different vibe

If you want to go and have a super chilled naked spa day with the possibility of some play, then put it on the list. Don’t play in the public areas, you will be chucked out

Have you been to BGHS? Would you recommend as a starting point?

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Northampton

Have you been to BGHS? Would you recommend as a starting point? "

We went recently with lifestyle friends, tbf we went early evening when single guys had left. We’ve heard it can be a bit ‘letchy’ in the day time.

From what you describe in your profile it’s not a starting point. It’s a naturist venue, so not a swinger venue. There is the opportunity to play in the rest rooms. It’s no alcohol.

Our suggestion would be as above, go to a club on a singles night. We’re biased to VA as that’s where we are mostly, although we are at Liberty Elite this weekend.

No cameras allowed in any of these locations so you can’t meet your filming desires, that will be a challenge in most clubs.

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By *HoveMan
4 weeks ago

Shoreham-by-Sea

Hi, I have been to Bghs a few times and it’s very respectful and non pushy. I would say it maybe better to arrange to meet someone there that you have been chatting to before rather than take pot luck on the day!! In general I would suggest at least having a cam chat with anyone from here to make sure they are genuine and you get on with as well!! Downstairs is a spa and non play as well, although nude so at least you can see what your looking for!!

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By *HoveMan
4 weeks ago

Shoreham-by-Sea

Hope this helps!! Feel free to ask any questions

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By *herrybakewellCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We certainly wouldn't suggest meeting at home. Keep your home a safe place and only invite people back when you have established a level of trust.

For both of us getting to know people is really important. We wouldn't meet someone at a club and 30 minutes later be fucking them....that's just not how we do things.

Follow the pace of the more nervous person in the couple, if you don't and you rush into a situation, you may end up regretting it.

Good luck.

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
4 weeks ago

Leeds

Personally I'd never invite anyone to my home there's way too many creeps.

I'd hotel with drinks before.

The club you have more people to chat to and get to know.

Do whatever your comfortable with but please be wary about giving your address out to a stranger.

Mrs

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By *eterandJaneadventuresCouple
4 weeks ago

Sutton

Travel to clubs in France, Gran Canaria and the UK, we find that each club has its own ‘vibe’ with more being ‘full on and faster than others. Following on from the threads here, we totally recommend club visits first. They offer the variety of themed nights, a great number of fellow clubbers / swingers to chat with ( no last minute no shows / blow outs ), the opportunity to explore the scene and experiment at your pace. Then when you find that right couple ( which there will be several at a club) to enjoy the fun of your ‘enjoyment list’ enjoy the fun.

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By *ill and Ben69Couple
4 weeks ago

Worcestershire

For new couples who are looking for single males, but who need to feel attracted, it can be surprisingly difficult. Private meets give time to establish a connection, but often fail to live up to expectations leading to disappointment and frustration. A club visit provides a sexually-charged place where at least more liberal discussions can happen. Give it a try!

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By *ink vixenCouple
4 weeks ago

Medway

We had some lovely meetings with guys that we arranged through here and then met a complete numpty that pushed us toward more club meets.

The trouble we find with clubs is the quality of the available guys is so hit and miss and we have left too often having had no fun and disappointed.

We enjoy the club scene but I think for a satisfying meet your ultimately got to kiss a few frogs.

Sorry if this seems hard on single guys but we do appreciate you.

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By *imon and saffyCouple
4 weeks ago

southampton

BGHS is lovely, the majority of single men are respectful during the days at the weekend. Those that are "letchy" get warned then chucked out.

If you fancy a spa with a chance of some fun it's great but not as full on as a club. It would be an easy place to arrange a meet during the day.

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By *osey WalesMan
4 weeks ago

Surrey

BGHS isnt a club as others above have said. It is a wonderful way to spend a day chilling out and if someone tickles your fancy then there are the rest rooms available.

It has a very different vibe to any club and by coincidence, I may be there tomorrow melting in the steam rooms and pretending that the cold pool is easy to get into, whilst trying to maintain an aura of sophistication and sexiness 🤣🤣

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By *renzMan
3 weeks ago

Between Chichester and Havant

I've found the best way to meet, is through messaging on here. Usually several messages to see if you're compatible before a social meeting somewhere, pub, coffee shop that type of thing then go away and discuss on whether you would like to meet again. That way there's no pressure on anyone and you the couple can make sure you both like your prospective partner/s.

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By *oxy jWoman
3 weeks ago

somerset

if your going to clubs for just men you'll be disappointed often as finding attraction with men in clubs is very very hit n miss we club once a month we would be lucky if out of the 12 club vist in one year if we managed to find one guy ...

we go to clubs mainly to socialize

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By *herrybakewellCouple
3 weeks ago

Staffordshire

"I've found the best way to meet, is through messaging on here. Usually several messages to see if you're compatible before a social meeting somewhere, pub, coffee shop that type of thing then go away and discuss on whether you would like to meet again. That way there's no pressure on anyone and you the couple can make sure you both like your prospective partner/s. "

This is exactly our thoughts.

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By *histle do nicelyMan
3 weeks ago

Glasgow South

I'd say go to a club.. See what goes on and talk to a few people about their experiences and your expectations .

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
3 weeks ago

Gravesend

"Hi all, we're tentatively dipping our toes into the world of swinging.

Our profile has been live for a while, however after a failed meet we haven't found the confidence to try again...yet!

We've spoken about the best way to get into it and looking for some advice or tips

Mrs would prefer a meet with someone she has built a rapport with...Mr would prefer trying BGHS and meeting at random.

So question, if you were to start out again what would you do? "

As others have said, don't have that first meet at home. You have limited options if you want to escape.......you can't lol.

Clubs are a great place to mingle, chat, and make friends with and then you never know.

As others have said BGHS possibly isn't the right vibe for what you are looking for. Pleasures isn't a million miles away and is a friendly fun club full of private and public play spaces, bar and dance floor.

Looking at your profile I'm sure that Mrs will certainly grab attention. Then it's down to your quality control lol

Good luck!

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By *rickOrTreat1 OP Couple
3 weeks ago

Sussex

Thanks everyone for the advice x

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By *lirtingwithnojudgementCouple
3 weeks ago

sutton

I would deffo recommend starting with the clubs . Everyone is so friendly and you are in control.

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By *heshireman69Man
3 weeks ago

Chester

I'm supposedly meeting a man for the first time tonight.... Literally can't decide if I should or not even though I've been curious for quite some time

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By *ndy man 61Man
3 weeks ago

Chichester

so you've popped your bghs cherry

how did it go and did you get up to anything naughty

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By *ueenbee689Woman
3 weeks ago

Anywhere but here

What’s BGHS?

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By *heshireman69Man
3 weeks ago

Chester

Is that comment for me? What's bghs?

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By *osey WalesMan
3 weeks ago

Surrey

"What’s BGHS? "

Bristol Gardens Health Spa in Brighton

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By *osey WalesMan
3 weeks ago

Surrey

Hope you had a wonderfully relaxing time at BGHS and you enjoyed yourselves enough to go again.

It would be lovely to see you there one day

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By *iFunMale_southMan
3 weeks ago

Reading

Really well timed thread. My wife and I have been getting closer and closer to starting the lifestyle journey and we've booked a weekend in Brighton in November - we will be visiting BGHS with no expectations. More to dip our toes!

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By *s-twoCouple
3 weeks ago

Hampshire

"Really well timed thread. My wife and I have been getting closer and closer to starting the lifestyle journey and we've booked a weekend in Brighton in November - we will be visiting BGHS with no expectations. More to dip our toes! "

Exactly the same as us. We had a taste on holiday that was totally spontaneous, and we’re getting closer to taking another step. We also like the idea of BGHS because of the spa being a no play area.

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By *aldy2Couple
3 weeks ago

Guilford

BGHS is great for that. We have had a few great visits there. Going with no expectations and sometimes had good spontaneous fun that we felt comfortable with and sometimes just relaxed together . The spa area is very relaxing and fun to just chat with people, with a trip upstairs on our own or by other people a very pleasant bonus. Took us a few visits to discover the mirror room, which is a whole new dimension that MrsB loves.

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By *iFunMale_southMan
3 weeks ago

Reading

Is there much action on show upstairs, so we can just enjoy the view? Or does everyone shut the doors?

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By *uffnmuffCouple
3 weeks ago

London

We did it by going to a club and it worked for us that was 8 years ago.

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By *1ckyMan
3 weeks ago

godstone

Love to try bghs just not confident enough

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By *HoveMan
2 weeks ago

Shoreham-by-Sea

It’s really friendly in there mate, just imagine a nudist beach but more luxurious and indoors!! Nothing to be nervous about honestly

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By *onnoisseur100Man
2 weeks ago

Woking-ish

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By *hirts HeelsCouple
2 weeks ago

dummer nr bstoke

Hellfire best ever for newbies 2nd fri sat each month couples only keep your clothes on dress smart good naughty fun tho xx

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By *alc69Man
5 days ago

Goring-by-Sea

Several things to try.

Maybe BGHS, or if you want to get to know fellow swingers, go to one of the 'Socials' (Brighton / Worthing / Eastbourne / Bognor) and meet people for the first time.

It's in a pub, and you just get to chat with like-minded people. What happens from there is down to you. But it is a good way to get started, if you're not sure how to proceed.

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