Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swinging Support and Advice |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello again Dave! Sorry to hear you’re still not having any luck in here I’ve really enjoyed my years of meeting likeminded people through Fab, and would happily recommend this site to other guys. It’s rarely an ‘instant win’ for a single guy in here, so you do need patience, but I wouldn’t ever point a mate in the direction of the clubs scene. At least in Fab, you are treated as an equal….. Keep the faith fella, because it will happen " Interesting to hear your perception/take on this. My experience has been precisely the opposite. I've found Fab to be largely unfriendly, cold at times, but a club environment (depending on which club) to be far more welcoming. Funny how things pan out. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello again Dave! Sorry to hear you’re still not having any luck in here I’ve really enjoyed my years of meeting likeminded people through Fab, and would happily recommend this site to other guys. It’s rarely an ‘instant win’ for a single guy in here, so you do need patience, but I wouldn’t ever point a mate in the direction of the clubs scene. At least in Fab, you are treated as an equal….. Keep the faith fella, because it will happen Interesting to hear your perception/take on this. My experience has been precisely the opposite. I've found Fab to be largely unfriendly, cold at times, but a club environment (depending on which club) to be far more welcoming. Funny how things pan out." I’ve visited 8 clubs, to a total of 19 visits, and can honestly say, that in no other avenue of my life, have I ever felt like Harry Potter wearing his cloak of invisibility….. Clubs are for couples, leave them to it | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I’ve visited 8 clubs, to a total of 19 visits, and can honestly say, that in no other avenue of my life, have I ever felt like Harry Potter wearing his cloak of invisibility….. Clubs are for couples, leave them to it " One thing id say about club nights is they aren't all created equally, id say some are better for single men than others. GreedyGirl or hotwife nights would be a good bet. Single guys we’ve seen have success talk to people, arent creepy, don't follow couples around staring etc.. ask qualifying questions, what are you looking for? etc | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello again Dave! Sorry to hear you’re still not having any luck in here I’ve really enjoyed my years of meeting likeminded people through Fab, and would happily recommend this site to other guys. It’s rarely an ‘instant win’ for a single guy in here, so you do need patience, but I wouldn’t ever point a mate in the direction of the clubs scene. At least in Fab, you are treated as an equal….. Keep the faith fella, because it will happen Interesting to hear your perception/take on this. My experience has been precisely the opposite. I've found Fab to be largely unfriendly, cold at times, but a club environment (depending on which club) to be far more welcoming. Funny how things pan out. I’ve visited 8 clubs, to a total of 19 visits, and can honestly say, that in no other avenue of my life, have I ever felt like Harry Potter wearing his cloak of invisibility….. Clubs are for couples, leave them to it " Mr did very well as a single guy at clubs before we met, probably better than we do as a couple... so clubs are definitely not just for couples. I've recommended clubs to many single guy friends and majority of them have had great times. As long as a guy can socialise and follow social cues, there is no reason they can't be a success at a club | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I’ve visited 8 clubs, to a total of 19 visits, and can honestly say, that in no other avenue of my life, have I ever felt like Harry Potter wearing his cloak of invisibility….. Clubs are for couples, leave them to it One thing id say about club nights is they aren't all created equally, id say some are better for single men than others. GreedyGirl or hotwife nights would be a good bet. Single guys we’ve seen have success talk to people, arent creepy, don't follow couples around staring etc.. ask qualifying questions, what are you looking for? etc" Agreed! I've found 'Dangerous Curves' at Libs to be one of the best, along with 'Curvaceous Creatures' at Purple Mamba IF a single guy is capable of making genuine, friendly conversation as in any other social situation. Letting people make their minds up about us as a human being first goes a long way, along with avoiding any sexual conversation, other than smiling, eye contact and light flirting IF things are already going well. Be an attractive proposition as a person first and foremost (which has very little to do with looks!) and allow people to get to know you organically. Being creepy, wandering constantly and not engaging socially is likely to get you a stiff ignoring to - and comes across as creepy. If you can't make a woman feel safe and comfortable in your company you need to go away and have a look at yourself in the mirror. All of the above has been very successful for me - naturally and without 'effort'. Just being your authentic self as you would be in any social setting. Also remember women aren't pieces of meat just because it's a club setting. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I’ve visited 8 clubs, to a total of 19 visits, and can honestly say, that in no other avenue of my life, have I ever felt like Harry Potter wearing his cloak of invisibility….. Clubs are for couples, leave them to it One thing id say about club nights is they aren't all created equally, id say some are better for single men than others. GreedyGirl or hotwife nights would be a good bet. Single guys we’ve seen have success talk to people, arent creepy, don't follow couples around staring etc.. ask qualifying questions, what are you looking for? etc" Clubs and club nights aren't all created equally, I agree with you there... While a 'Greedy Girl' style event could be interesting from a purely voyeuristic point, I have no personal desire to be 'No.43' on someone's clicker count to a new pb. Also; I'm not aware of any 'Hotwife' style events in the NW or NE (I'm in Cumbria btw), but to be fair, clubs aren't overflowing with single ladies, no matter how cheap they make the entry fees, so all the fun I've had in clubs has only been with couples anyway I do appreciate the thought though | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hello again Dave! Sorry to hear you’re still not having any luck in here I’ve really enjoyed my years of meeting likeminded people through Fab, and would happily recommend this site to other guys. It’s rarely an ‘instant win’ for a single guy in here, so you do need patience, but I wouldn’t ever point a mate in the direction of the clubs scene. At least in Fab, you are treated as an equal….. Keep the faith fella, because it will happen Interesting to hear your perception/take on this. My experience has been precisely the opposite. I've found Fab to be largely unfriendly, cold at times, but a club environment (depending on which club) to be far more welcoming. Funny how things pan out. I’ve visited 8 clubs, to a total of 19 visits, and can honestly say, that in no other avenue of my life, have I ever felt like Harry Potter wearing his cloak of invisibility….. Clubs are for couples, leave them to it Mr did very well as a single guy at clubs before we met, probably better than we do as a couple... so clubs are definitely not just for couples. I've recommended clubs to many single guy friends and majority of them have had great times. As long as a guy can socialise and follow social cues, there is no reason they can't be a success at a club " Exactly my thoughts. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Get your best undies on, splash of nice aftershave, and head for a club. While there, sit back, relax, smile and let the couples get fed up of the permawanking pests. As a couple we have been sat next to another couple for ages, and all it would have taken is simply saying hello and introducing yourself. End of the day, some people are really confident, some are really shy, and all it takes is a smile (dont forget your best undies and nice aftershave) " Agree with this to some extent, as I've had a great deal of success in the good clubs. Does depend on where though. The ones I've mentioned previously have been excellent, whereas places such as Chams (Darlaston) have been somewhere between unsociable and downright hostile.....despite me being as you describe, with couples being the most 'negative' overall. Sometimes even smiling in someone's direction can elicit an extremely uncalled for response. All that being said I've met some incredible people over time though - men, women and couples - who are very much (and very real) friends who I'd go a long way out of my way for. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Although I'm on here every day, I've not posted on the forums for a while. I've been concentrating on profiles and messaging people. I was just wondering if people are having any actual meets from Fabswingers and meeting others, be that jyst for a social coffee or for actual fun. I'm just curious to find if others are having any success on here. I'm approaching Three years on here, and unfortunately havnt even been lucky enough to even have had a social meet for a drink. They say patience is a vertue, so I'm happy to keep trying to make a connection on here. Anyhow, I hope you are all having better luck than me on here. Best wishes. " I bang as often as a gate with a broken latch during a hurricane. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"More chance of a papal visit than getting a reply to a message. Just one of the reasons FAB has such a poor reputation as a swingers site. " For single men. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"More chance of a papal visit than getting a reply to a message. Just one of the reasons FAB has such a poor reputation as a swingers site. For single men. " Yep, absolutely, for most it seems. I keep telling guys not to bother as it's just a part of their day where they could be doing something positive instead. A few guys say (true or not) that they get messages regularly. If so good for them, but having been on Fab for quite a few years it's clear how it is for the majority. I don't for the life of me understand why anyone would keep doing that to themselves. Having stopped messaging two years ago I'm SO much happier for it and have no negative feelings about myself, or anyone. Lots of us bang on and on about better, more rewarding ways to go about things. Personally I'd be spending my time on here looking for the best socials and club events where it's not a completely wasted effort, rather than typing about how difficult it is.....also largely wasted effort. I mean no offence but why would anyone keep jumping through other people's hoops over time, only for the same kind of people to carry on ignoring them? 'Do what you've always done - get what you've always got' ring a bell? In essence don't waste your time on people who aren't worth that effort - it'll only make you feel more shit as time goes on - and no one is going to care one bit - especially not the people you want to reach out to. Be positive, be proactive. Be authentically you and let people see it in person. It absolutely works, as opposed to trying to get a potentially really great persona across in writing. Very difficult to do when there are hundreds doing the same. Don't follow the crowd, but be brave and get out there in person. BTW- if anyone's even remotely close to Gloucester, go to their social - I used to and it well and truly set me up on my way as a single fella. Pity I'm not closer, or I'd still be going. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Sadly, Fab is full of time wasters unfortunately. Of our 50 verifications, 2 have come from Fab meets. We have up trying to meet people from here a long time ago. Socials and clubs are the way forward for us these days and it works well. If we arrange to meet someone from Fab at a club and they don’t show up, we still have the club and potentially lots of other people. V&K xx" We are trying to get to clubs unfortunately the wife works night shift work including at least one night a weekend. So far the schedules haven't lined up. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Get your best undies on, splash of nice aftershave, and head for a club. While there, sit back, relax, smile and let the couples get fed up of the permawanking pests. As a couple we have been sat next to another couple for ages, and all it would have taken is simply saying hello and introducing yourself. End of the day, some people are really confident, some are really shy, and all it takes is a smile (dont forget your best undies and nice aftershave) Agree with this to some extent, as I've had a great deal of success in the good clubs. Does depend on where though. The ones I've mentioned previously have been excellent, whereas places such as Chams (Darlaston) have been somewhere between unsociable and downright hostile.....despite me being as you describe, with couples being the most 'negative' overall. Sometimes even smiling in someone's direction can elicit an extremely uncalled for response. All that being said I've met some incredible people over time though - men, women and couples - who are very much (and very real) friends who I'd go a long way out of my way for. " I would agree with your point about the "good clubs", although ultimately, a 'good club experience' is down to who you meet while you're there. I will sympathize with you about your comment about some clubs being unsociable and hostile towards single guys, I've been snapped at (We're not interested in single guys!), and seen the ubiquitous eye rolling as I've approached people, and been completely blanked while stood at a club bar! I've often wondered where all these ("everyone's always friendly in clubs") people are, before hitting my boredom threshold, and simply leaving. I haven't been to Libs or Purple Mamba though, the two clubs the bulk of your verifications appear to be from? They are two clubs which consistently receive positive reviews from single guys, and two clubs I would genuinely like to visit. It speaks volumes that you have other clubs on your doorstep, yet choose to travel away to visit these two | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Get your best undies on, splash of nice aftershave, and head for a club. While there, sit back, relax, smile and let the couples get fed up of the permawanking pests. As a couple we have been sat next to another couple for ages, and all it would have taken is simply saying hello and introducing yourself. End of the day, some people are really confident, some are really shy, and all it takes is a smile (dont forget your best undies and nice aftershave) Agree with this to some extent, as I've had a great deal of success in the good clubs. Does depend on where though. The ones I've mentioned previously have been excellent, whereas places such as Chams (Darlaston) have been somewhere between unsociable and downright hostile.....despite me being as you describe, with couples being the most 'negative' overall. Sometimes even smiling in someone's direction can elicit an extremely uncalled for response. All that being said I've met some incredible people over time though - men, women and couples - who are very much (and very real) friends who I'd go a long way out of my way for. I would agree with your point about the "good clubs", although ultimately, a 'good club experience' is down to who you meet while you're there. I will sympathize with you about your comment about some clubs being unsociable and hostile towards single guys, I've been snapped at (We're not interested in single guys!), and seen the ubiquitous eye rolling as I've approached people, and been completely blanked while stood at a club bar! I've often wondered where all these ("everyone's always friendly in clubs") people are, before hitting my boredom threshold, and simply leaving. I haven't been to Libs or Purple Mamba though, the two clubs the bulk of your verifications appear to be from? They are two clubs which consistently receive positive reviews from single guys, and two clubs I would genuinely like to visit. It speaks volumes that you have other clubs on your doorstep, yet choose to travel away to visit these two " I'd absolutely recommend certain events at both clubs, although I couldn't tell you what other nights are like to be honest. I've never had such positive experiences anywhere else if I'm honest - and it's been consistent. One thing I would say is that I live in two locations and one of them is very close to Libs, although Purple Mamba is well over an hours drive. Both absolutely worth a try. I know the organisers of both too and they're the kind of people who want everyone attending to have a great time, not just the few 'chosen ones'. As I've said on many occasions over time, I'm a very ordinary, average kinda guy. I've taken the time and trouble to get to know people and it's absolutely paid off. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi OP, really sorry to hear about your experiences on here, and I'm really hoping things take a turn for the better for you. There doesn't seem to be a perfect panacea for men on here — what works for one person may not work for another and so forth; it's a mixed bag of p+sitive and negative outcomes. Take on board all the good advice given to you above and persevere. I don't do clubs (they simply don't interest me) and therefore cannot give you any advice on that. For me it's been a rewarding experience from two angles: receiving messages from women on here which lead to dates, trysts and dalliances, to attending fab socials for the libations and forging friendships. Bestowing all the luck for you, OP. 🌿🌿" Have to say I love the way you write Buddy. A lot of guys could discover a lot from your approach I suspect. Respect. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi OP, really sorry to hear about your experiences on here, and I'm really hoping things take a turn for the better for you. There doesn't seem to be a perfect panacea for men on here — what works for one person may not work for another and so forth; it's a mixed bag of p+sitive and negative outcomes. Take on board all the good advice given to you above and persevere. I don't do clubs (they simply don't interest me) and therefore cannot give you any advice on that. For me it's been a rewarding experience from two angles: receiving messages from women on here which lead to dates, trysts and dalliances, to attending fab socials for the libations and forging friendships. Bestowing all the luck for you, OP. 🌿🌿 · Have to say I love the way you write Buddy. A lot of guys could discover a lot from your approach I suspect. Respect." • You're far too kind. 🦋🦋 | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi OP, really sorry to hear about your experiences on here, and I'm really hoping things take a turn for the better for you. There doesn't seem to be a perfect panacea for men on here — what works for one person may not work for another and so forth; it's a mixed bag of p+sitive and negative outcomes. Take on board all the good advice given to you above and persevere. I don't do clubs (they simply don't interest me) and therefore cannot give you any advice on that. For me it's been a rewarding experience from two angles: receiving messages from women on here which lead to dates, trysts and dalliances, to attending fab socials for the libations and forging friendships. Bestowing all the luck for you, OP. 🌿🌿" Thanks mate. I will persevere searching on here and messaging. It's heartening to read posts from the few single blokes who have had meets from FAB without going to clubs or organised group socials. I'm like you, I have no I terest in going to a club or organised group social. I glad you have had success on here mate. I know blokes who gave been to a club, and they all said the same, that they were totally ignored and felt humiliated by the experience. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I have followed Dave’s trials and tribulations on the Fab forums for a long time now. I’d hazard a guess that he’s had more help and advice than any one else on here. But here we are back to square one and he’s no further forward. Unless you actually decide to follow up some of the advice given Dave and push yourself out of your comfort zone it’s not going to happen. There’s got to be compromise somewhere. The site works but you’ve got to be prepared to change the things that simply haven’t been working for you so far. There’s a lot of people who would love to see you succeed and meet someone. I wonder just how much you want it for yourself." Thanks for your lovely reply. I totally take on board your advice, but everyone is different, and not everyone is wanting to go to clubs or large organised socials. Everyone has their own views on how they wish to try and meet people. The fact I have been on here daily for almost three years, I would say that shows how much I want to meet people. I really appreciate your feedback. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No lucks at all..my self esteem going downhill quite fast now. " Give it chance, you’ve only been here 6 weeks. It’s swinging, not insta shag x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"From a personal perspective as a single fella turning up alone at a club can be intimidating especially if you have confidence/social anxiety issues. It's also (I've found) quite difficult to get in when many clubs and socials limit the number of single fellas (I understand and appreciate why but it doesn't alleviate the issue of getting an in person verification). Factor in time constraints due to other demands (work/family/volunteering) and it becomes an almost insurmountable problem. For me small intimate dinner/social gatherings work best but without building the contacts they won't happen, it's a bit chicken and egg really. I don't have a solution it's just an observation, some folks a naturally gregarious in parties others not - that's life. " Swinging is hobby. If you were allergic to bee stings would you take up beekeeping? Can't swim/take up waterskiing? And like any hobby if you want to partake you make the time. It's horses for courses. Swinging isn't for everybody and if you haven't the confidence or the social skills then maybe you need a different hobby. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel sorry for men on here. Woman definitely have the pick. I think there is 1 man to every woman on here. I'm not sure if clubs are the answer as you maybe stick out like a sore thumb if you were on your own. Just keep the faith and I hope things improve for you in the very near future . Take care x" xxx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel sorry for men on here. Woman definitely have the pick. I think there is 1 man to every woman on here. I'm not sure if clubs are the answer as you maybe stick out like a sore thumb if you were on your own. Just keep the faith and I hope things improve for you in the very near future . Take care x" And as a woman who has only been here 6 weeks, you’ve already had two meets, which proves not only how much easier it is for single ladies in here, but also that other single men are getting meets…. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Have you tried going to clubs? They are a great place to mix and socialise" Expensive for single guys and aren't we just ads likely to be outnumbered or outclassed. Also I don't like performing to a crowd | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Have you tried going to clubs? They are a great place to mix and socialise Expensive for single guys and aren't we just ads likely to be outnumbered or outclassed. Also I don't like performing to a crowd" Some clubs have private playrooms, some don't, your choice. You will never be outnumbered the way you are on here. Outclassed? Just by turning up you put yourself in the top class. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel sorry for men on here. Woman definitely have the pick. I think there is 1 man to every woman on here. I'm not sure if clubs are the answer as you maybe stick out like a sore thumb if you were on your own. Just keep the faith and I hope things improve for you in the very near future . Take care x" Think women and couple get bombarded by messages from single guys - so they can pick and choose. Depends what you are looking for too. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"From a personal perspective as a single fella turning up alone at a club can be intimidating especially if you have confidence/social anxiety issues. It's also (I've found) quite difficult to get in when many clubs and socials limit the number of single fellas (I understand and appreciate why but it doesn't alleviate the issue of getting an in person verification). Factor in time constraints due to other demands (work/family/volunteering) and it becomes an almost insurmountable problem. For me small intimate dinner/social gatherings work best but without building the contacts they won't happen, it's a bit chicken and egg really. I don't have a solution it's just an observation, some folks a naturally gregarious in parties others not - that's life. Swinging is hobby. If you were allergic to bee stings would you take up beekeeping? Can't swim/take up waterskiing? And like any hobby if you want to partake you make the time. It's horses for courses. Swinging isn't for everybody and if you haven't the confidence or the social skills then maybe you need a different hobby." Sorry but that's not a very inclusive comment and tends to promote clique. So you're saying that someone who enjoys this lifestyle but finds large groups difficult shouldn't be involved I find insulting. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Although I'm on here every day, I've not posted on the forums for a while. I've been concentrating on profiles and messaging people. I was just wondering if people are having any actual meets from Fabswingers and meeting others, be that jyst for a social coffee or for actual fun. I'm just curious to find if others are having any success on here. I'm approaching Three years on here, and unfortunately havnt even been lucky enough to even have had a social meet for a drink. They say patience is a vertue, so I'm happy to keep trying to make a connection on here. Anyhow, I hope you are all having better luck than me on here. Best wishes. " The ratio of wowan to man here is one woman to 500 men. Do the maths its nearly impossible because the power of choice is in the hands of women here than the men who do the chasing😄your only luck is getting yourself to the clubs. Good luck mate | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"From a personal perspective as a single fella turning up alone at a club can be intimidating especially if you have confidence/social anxiety issues. It's also (I've found) quite difficult to get in when many clubs and socials limit the number of single fellas (I understand and appreciate why but it doesn't alleviate the issue of getting an in person verification). Factor in time constraints due to other demands (work/family/volunteering) and it becomes an almost insurmountable problem. For me small intimate dinner/social gatherings work best but without building the contacts they won't happen, it's a bit chicken and egg really. I don't have a solution it's just an observation, some folks a naturally gregarious in parties others not - that's life. Swinging is hobby. If you were allergic to bee stings would you take up beekeeping? Can't swim/take up waterskiing? And like any hobby if you want to partake you make the time. It's horses for courses. Swinging isn't for everybody and if you haven't the confidence or the social skills then maybe you need a different hobby. Sorry but that's not a very inclusive comment and tends to promote clique. So you're saying that someone who enjoys this lifestyle but finds large groups difficult shouldn't be involved I find insulting. " What I'm, saying is if you have a hobby that is based on social interaction you need to be sociable. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"From a personal perspective as a single fella turning up alone at a club can be intimidating especially if you have confidence/social anxiety issues. It's also (I've found) quite difficult to get in when many clubs and socials limit the number of single fellas (I understand and appreciate why but it doesn't alleviate the issue of getting an in person verification). Factor in time constraints due to other demands (work/family/volunteering) and it becomes an almost insurmountable problem. For me small intimate dinner/social gatherings work best but without building the contacts they won't happen, it's a bit chicken and egg really. I don't have a solution it's just an observation, some folks a naturally gregarious in parties others not - that's life. Swinging is hobby. If you were allergic to bee stings would you take up beekeeping? Can't swim/take up waterskiing? And like any hobby if you want to partake you make the time. It's horses for courses. Swinging isn't for everybody and if you haven't the confidence or the social skills then maybe you need a different hobby. Sorry but that's not a very inclusive comment and tends to promote clique. So you're saying that someone who enjoys this lifestyle but finds large groups difficult shouldn't be involved I find insulting. " Ooopsie! They don’t like the term ‘clique’ mate! Use ‘EGOF’ instead (Established Group Of Friends), much more palatable | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I feel sorry for men on here. Woman definitely have the pick. I think there is 1 man to every woman on here. I'm not sure if clubs are the answer as you maybe stick out like a sore thumb if you were on your own. Just keep the faith and I hope things improve for you in the very near future . Take care x" Thank you xx | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hey mate. Straight male here. Been back on here for nearly two weeks and had socials and a meet. Another social Saturday and two different meets next week. Make your messages interesting and show your personality. Make a point of reading there profile and don’t cut and paste x" Hi mate, I'm happy you are having success on here. I never copy and paste and always read profiles twice before messaging anyone. Maybe it's my dry old school sense of humour and being a blunt Yorkshireman that's the problem. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When we first saw one of the OP's posts we couldn't understand why he was struggling. His photos were good, his sense of humour came over in his profile, he was obviously actually single, could accommodate and even has a hot tub ffs. He ticked virtually every box except for location! Then as time went on we realised why, it's his attitude. Dave you need to get over this stubborn refusal to move outside your comfort zone. Clubs and socials may not be for you but unless you try them you will never know. Yes some men post on here that they were ignored, clubs are clicquey etc. but they are in the minority, it's selective reading on your part. " Thanks for your reply, it's really appreciated. I know obviously women and couples have the upper hand on here, and that's only to be expected. And thank you for your positive comments about my profile - it means a lot. Everyone is different, and everyone has their own approach, and some people will prefer clubs and organised socials, and others arnt interested in that approach to meeting people. I'm firmly in the second camp. I'm happy that you think my profile is positive, that means a lot to me, thank you. Hopefully one day my luck will change on here and I will get a positive reply to a message. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Although I'm on here every day, I've not posted on the forums for a while. I've been concentrating on profiles and messaging people. I was just wondering if people are having any actual meets from Fabswingers and meeting others, be that jyst for a social coffee or for actual fun. I'm just curious to find if others are having any success on here. I'm approaching Three years on here, and unfortunately havnt even been lucky enough to even have had a social meet for a drink. They say patience is a vertue, so I'm happy to keep trying to make a connection on here. Anyhow, I hope you are all having better luck than me on here. Best wishes. " I've had meets, and some great fun. But I've been on (and off lol) Fab for a few years and it ain't what it used to be for sure | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Everyone is different, and everyone has their own approach, and some people will prefer clubs and organised socials, and others arnt interested in that approach to meeting people. I'm firmly in the second camp. " Many people on here will only meet in a club due to the large number of no shows. Wouldn't you even go to a club in that situation? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Everyone is different, and everyone has their own approach, and some people will prefer clubs and organised socials, and others arnt interested in that approach to meeting people. I'm firmly in the second camp. Many people on here will only meet in a club due to the large number of no shows. Wouldn't you even go to a club in that situation?" Thanks for your reply. Clubs arnt for me. A lot of women and couples say single guys must be able to accommodate, which I can, as I am genuinely single, so being a no show dosnt really applie. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"There is a new club in Sheffield called Steel Cliffe which would be convenient for you OP" Thanks for your reply, but I'm not interested in going to a club. I'm hoping to meet someone for a private social for a coffee rather than a group meet. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" A lot of women and couples say single guys must be able to accommodate, which I can, as I am genuinely single, so being a no show dosnt really applie. " Have you considered that a lot of single women don't feel comfortable going to a man's house alone and feel safer meeting in a club. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Everyone is different, and everyone has their own approach, and some people will prefer clubs and organised socials, and others arnt interested in that approach to meeting people. I'm firmly in the second camp. Many people on here will only meet in a club due to the large number of no shows. Wouldn't you even go to a club in that situation? Thanks for your reply. Clubs arnt for me. A lot of women and couples say single guys must be able to accommodate, which I can, as I am genuinely single, so being a no show dosnt really applie. " It does apply as people say all sorts of things on here but that doesn't mean it's true. Lots of stories of people being sent to the wrong house, for example. It would seem that there's only one way you will meet OP and that's your way. You may be lucky and find that elusive compatible person but you are definitely making it harder for yourself. Good luck. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" ... Ooopsie! They don’t like the term ‘clique’ mate! Use ‘EGOF’ instead (Established Group Of Friends), much more palatable " Sounds more like a UK airfield! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"There is a new club in Sheffield called Steel Cliffe which would be convenient for you OP Thanks for your reply, but I'm not interested in going to a club. I'm hoping to meet someone for a private social for a coffee rather than a group meet. " You could meet someone socially at a bar in a club, then if you like go off to a private room. When I was on as a single woman , I'd have never have met a single guy outside of a club environment | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I was just wondering if people are having any actual meets from Fabswingers and meeting others, be that jyst for a social coffee or for actual fun. I'm just curious to find if others are having any success on here. I'm approaching Three years on here, and unfortunately havnt even been lucky enough to even have had a social meet for a drink. " Thought we were having our first meet in a while last night but sadly they were a no-show , most chats lead nowhere (fakes and pic collectors), we're ghosted or they leave site | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |