FabSwingers.com forum: Verification not public

By *ixey and Copper OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Exeter

We were arranging to meet a single male. Early stages, was going well. We were very clear on desires etc. Seemed nice. Was replying within minutes.

He had one verification from a couple 2 years ago and wasn't displayed, so we asked him to display it for a couple of minutes so we could read it.

He read the message immediately, then we haven't heard anything for 2 days.

Were we wrong to ask?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
9 weeks ago

East Sussex

No you weren't wrong to ask and he's not wrong if he doesn't want to show it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

Asking someone to do something they don't want to (or maybe can't if the couple have since left the site) in public is a bit rude imo. Especially as not all yours are on show.

Unless that's everyone's kink I wouldn't ask someone else to modify their public internet presence for me. And if someone asked me I'd assume they were time wasters to be honest.

Phone call, some pics, meeting in public... These things are useful with or without veris.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ixey and Copper OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Exeter

"Asking someone to do something they don't want to (or maybe can't if the couple have since left the site) in public is a bit rude imo. Especially as not all yours are on show.

Unless that's everyone's kink I wouldn't ask someone else to modify their public internet presence for me. And if someone asked me I'd assume they were time wasters to be honest.

Phone call, some pics, meeting in public... These things are useful with or without veris. "

We are more than happy to shoe the all our verifications.

They are from people that have already left us verifications that are visible.

How do we know he doesn't want do something he's not happy with unless we ask?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

You know he doesn't want, or isn't able to put, that verification public because if he did and was able to it would be.

It's like me saying I need you to post a public pic of the soles of your left feet. Might seem harmless, but it's odd and intrusive and not something you necessarily want on the internet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ixey and Copper OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Exeter

"You know he doesn't want, or isn't able to put, that verification public because if he did and was able to it would be.

It's like me saying I need you to post a public pic of the soles of your left feet. Might seem harmless, but it's odd and intrusive and not something you necessarily want on the internet. "

Or the verification says "not very pleasant at all, ignored boundaries and was obviously high, not a nice experience, wouldn't meet again"

Reasonable due diligence?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsKOTCTWoman
9 weeks ago

Leeds

"No you weren't wrong to ask and he's not wrong if he doesn't want to show it. "

This, somewhere of ours are hidden some not, we don't share sexual verifications I find them off-putting & it's no one else's business who we fuck so I wouldn't show them if requested either.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsKOTCTWoman
9 weeks ago

Leeds

"No you weren't wrong to ask and he's not wrong if he doesn't want to show it.

This, somewhere of ours are hidden some not, we don't share sexual verifications I find them off-putting & it's no one else's business who we fuck so I wouldn't show them if requested either.

Mrs "

Thought this was on my couples profile - same applies to this one.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornycougaWoman
9 weeks ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

"You know he doesn't want, or isn't able to put, that verification public because if he did and was able to it would be.

It's like me saying I need you to post a public pic of the soles of your left feet. Might seem harmless, but it's odd and intrusive and not something you necessarily want on the internet. "

I disagree. It's not wrong or rude to ask. Just as it is not wrong to decline. However, for me someone declining to show me a veri that they were able to share would be a red flag. Moot point as the guy went AWOL but I don't think the OP did anything wrong in asking the question.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
9 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Not at all, there's no harm in asking.

Maybe that person has left the site so he can't show it, or just doesn't want to though, that's his right too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aked plumberMan
9 weeks ago

lincoln

There’s absolutely no reason why you wouldn’t ask to see it and I think his response or lack thereof justifies it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

You have your reasons to ask, he's got his to keep it hidden: let's not just all jump to the worst conclusions (I know, I know, it's fab's favourite Olympics discipline).

At the end of the day, no-one should be pressured into doing anything they're not comfortable with: him displaying the verification, you meeting him with out seeing the verification.

Work with what you have, and if it's a dealbreaker, so be it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iker JackMan
9 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I don’t see why anyone has to display a verification.

It is personal choice if you want to and if that is part of your criteria to meet them then move on by

For me I don’t look or read others. It just leads to comparisons of looks or body

Are you going or wanting to contact the person who left it? For me it should just be I met “x”, they looked like their photos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *carlettxWoman
9 weeks ago

Essex

It’s a tricky one because I know full well that there are a lot of fake veris on here

I myself received a fake veri the other day from a guy. When I questioned him he said he had me mistaken for someone else

I did some digging and in fact ALL his veris were from people didn’t really know him but maybe had seen him at a club because he verified them prior

Really seemed a bit suss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

Even totally legit veris are no guarantee of compatible outlooks. The same people have verified both some of my favourite Fabbers and worst Fab experiences.

My tastes do not perfectly align with those of my closest friends. Let alone internet strangers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *neeyedwillieMan
9 weeks ago

Darlington

A veri is nothing more than a verification that you are a real person.

Contrary to what people think, it's not and never was meant to be a trust pilot review.

HOWEVER....

I'm bloody glad some people do treat them that way. Found out important need to know info that way in the past.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lossomTreeWoman
9 weeks ago

Ipswich

There might be an innocent reason, I've hidden one of my recent verifications as it mentioned my real name, which doesn't begin with S, there is no way I want that displayed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *umagain58Man
9 weeks ago

London

Lots of reasons possible so you might never know. I had a review which was crude and unsolicited so did not display

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *electableicecreamMan
9 weeks ago

The West

I only display about half my veri's and that's for various reasons. Some of them are from same people and a good few are from social events and quite generic.

I have one veri from a woman I never spoke to though we were at the same event and I have another from a woman I said hello to as we passed in a hotel corridor.

No one has ever asked to see them and I'd be surprised if they did.

That said, on more than one occasion I have asked women who had hidden all their verifications if they would display some and they did and understood why I asked. There are a lot of fake profiles and fake veri's on fab. I went on to meet them and no problems.

In your case, for one 2yr old veri, I probably wouldn't have asked but I can see why you did. Who knows why he ghosted you. It's just the nature of the beast. It's fab. Easy come easy go.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hesubtlegentMan
9 weeks ago

surrey

I’d take that as a red flag. No harm in asking what the veri said. Perhaps it’s better he’s stopped communication now rather than when you turn up for the meet and he doesn’t.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
9 weeks ago

Covent Garden

Perhaps you weren't wrong to ask and, equally so, it wasn't wrong for him to refuse. He simply changed his mind from the indiscretion. People often change their minds. It's the part of the wonderful idiosyncrasies of Fab.❣️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ine Time FontayneMan
9 weeks ago

Bracknell

"There might be an innocent reason, I've hidden one of my recent verifications as it mentioned my real name, which doesn't begin with S, there is no way I want that displayed. "

Same for me

Tarquin

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rpeggioCouple
9 weeks ago

Baughurst

"You know he doesn't want, or isn't able to put, that verification public because if he did and was able to it would be.

It's like me saying I need you to post a public pic of the soles of your left feet. Might seem harmless, but it's odd and intrusive and not something you necessarily want on the internet.

Or the verification says "not very pleasant at all, ignored boundaries and was obviously high, not a nice experience, wouldn't meet again"

Reasonable due diligence?"

If that's the case, it's unlikely the offended/victim party would treat him with a verification that, to some single men here are like gold.

Most likely it would be something explicit detailing sexual activity that this single man prefers not to display and he's in his right to keep it that way.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rpeggioCouple
9 weeks ago

Baughurst

One of our closest swinger friends, single woman profile, she does not display any verifications at all. She has dozens. Yet she asked us to verify her and have left her so far two, I recall.

Never asked her why she does not show them ... could not care less, once you know the person either there's a connection or there isn't. Verifications are meant to say that the person is real. What the verifications say is subjective to the verifier so not that important.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icolerobbieCouple
9 weeks ago

walsall

I don’t like verifications.

If a bloke I was chatting to in a bar started asking me to list all the people I’d had sex with, I’d run for the hills.

People write reviews, I’ll never show them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothGrooveWoman
9 weeks ago

Durham

In general don't leave verifications for people and if asked, I'd prefer people didn't leave them for me. That's my preference.... if someone asked me to unlock them so they could see my 'sex reviews' I wouldn't be comfortable with the situation. I'd assume that my personality obviously wasn't enough for them to form an opinion on me and I'd probably move on from the situation pretty quickly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
9 weeks ago

chichester

"We were arranging to meet a single male. Early stages, was going well. We were very clear on desires etc. Seemed nice. Was replying within minutes.

He had one verification from a couple 2 years ago and wasn't displayed, so we asked him to display it for a couple of minutes so we could read it.

He read the message immediately, then we haven't heard anything for 2 days.

Were we wrong to ask?"

A time waster in probability with a faux veri

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ink vixenCouple
9 weeks ago

Medway

It was just wrong for him but as it’s what yoou wanted you both were obviously incompatible in the early stages and so it’s the correct outcome for both of you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vaRose43Woman
9 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

I don’t display mine, ever. I like receiving them and composing them for others but they’re for me and them to read.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *trueceltMan
9 weeks ago

Bristol

I never display my verifications and of course everybody says, oh he doesn't have any. but I say on my profile I don't have many public pics or any public veris and that I will show both if someone is serious about meeting. I could change the permission settings in my sleep by now if I wanted because I'm so used to making them public for a bit then private again. You did nothing wrong OP, it's necessary to build trust and he fell at the first hurdle by sounds of it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread