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Awful party experiences

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago

Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
7 weeks ago

Leeds

So the husband left the party leaving his wife alone, surrounded by single men ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"So the husband left the party leaving his wife alone, surrounded by single men ? "

She seemed to enjoy the attention and its hardly fair to start windmilling off the bat. Unless its totally normal for women to make all the positive noises when they're not having fun?

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By *MandMMCouple
7 weeks ago

Welwyn garden city

Are you saying she was having a great time with these guys, and ignored you?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
7 weeks ago

Leeds

I would suggest the husband could sit with her, holding her hand, enjoying watching her pleasure and checking that all the single guys were behaving appropriately.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago

In hindsight, it was our first party and looking back its clear some took advantage of that. One of the women even lied to say hubby was still about. Craven Arms is where the party was. Not sure if that's name dropping but a place is fair game.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"Are you saying she was having a great time with these guys, and ignored you? "

She actually said most of them were awful, after the fact. Regardless, you'd think a host of a recommended place would show some consideration for his guests.

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By *aomilatteCouple
7 weeks ago

Midlands

Personally we would arrive together, stay together while there, play together and leave together. We can read each other and would know if the other feels uncomfortable or wants to get away before the need to say so.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"Personally we would arrive together, stay together while there, play together and leave together. We can read each other and would know if the other feels uncomfortable or wants to get away before the need to say so."

Yeah, I'm thinking that's where the main failure was. We didn't stay close enough together. The wife is livid because the host and his cronies, even a woman, lied about hubby leaving.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
7 weeks ago

Leeds


" The wife is livid because the host and his cronies, even a woman, lied about hubby leaving."

Is the wife livid that her husband abandoned her and left ?

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
7 weeks ago

Sheffield

If going to a party makes you angry, then I don’t think they are for you. A polite no usually works with others in these scenarios.

People shouldn’t lie. But surely as a couple, you should arrive together and stay together. Why would he just leave without telling you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


" The wife is livid because the host and his cronies, even a woman, lied about hubby leaving.

Is the wife livid that her husband abandoned her and left ?"

At first, until she realised 2 hours had gone by before she started looking for her husband. From your reaction it sounds like its par for the course for people to get taken advantage of when they get split up?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
7 weeks ago

Flagrante

First time to a party or club, unknown territory always stay together even if the dynamic is separate room play. Once comfortable then your own rules, both of you dictates the situation. However, in saying this if your hatural reaction is to "chin people" maybe this kind of environment and lifestyle isn't for you.

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By *ee And MikeCouple
7 weeks ago

Cannock

Our dynamic is slightly different than a lot of couples in that I’m a cuck but I would stay close to Der at a party to ensure she was not abused or felt uncomfortable in any way.

Most parties are generally well managed and attendees are sensible, but a bit like going to clubs there are always the odd idiot that spoils it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"First time to a party or club, unknown territory always stay together even if the dynamic is separate room play. Once comfortable then your own rules, both of you dictates the situation. However, in saying this if your hatural reaction is to "chin people" maybe this kind of environment and lifestyle isn't for you."

Its not that...To be honest, those comments about chinning folk are AFTER finding out the host and his cronies were lying to the wife.

From what you, and others, have said thus far, it seems our mistake was not sticking close to each other. Anywhere with single bokes we'll avoid going forward, couples only parties are obviously more for us.

Our dynamic is its fun when we're both playing. Even its just a three way with another husband that we trust.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"Our dynamic is slightly different than a lot of couples in that I’m a cuck but I would stay close to Der at a party to ensure she was not abused or felt uncomfortable in any way.

Most parties are generally well managed and attendees are sensible, but a bit like going to clubs there are always the odd idiot that spoils it."

Your fella likes that, which is fine, but hubby doesn't. We sort of tried it once last year, and luckily the bloke got off and moved to someone else. Still wearing the condom we gave him. Yep, he's on the avoid list.

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester


"Personally we would arrive together, stay together while there, play together and leave together. We can read each other and would know if the other feels uncomfortable or wants to get away before the need to say so."

That! Although we will add having hosted, we wouldn't accept the responsibility for anyone unless they expressly informed us of unwelcome attention and ignoring of boundaries!

We have been where you were in terms of Mr being superfluous in play (not nice and we've had frank conversations on it)

Also a couple having a disagreement during the night (sympathetically helped them, sit down and discuss)

But leaving your partner, regardless of how much 'fun' they appeared to be having is a hard no for us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"Personally we would arrive together, stay together while there, play together and leave together. We can read each other and would know if the other feels uncomfortable or wants to get away before the need to say so.

That! Although we will add having hosted, we wouldn't accept the responsibility for anyone unless they expressly informed us of unwelcome attention and ignoring of boundaries!

We have been where you were in terms of Mr being superfluous in play (not nice and we've had frank conversations on it)

Also a couple having a disagreement during the night (sympathetically helped them, sit down and discuss)

But leaving your partner, regardless of how much 'fun' they appeared to be having is a hard no for us."

As a host, you wouldn't tell that wife hubby was in another room so you could have a go would you?

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
7 weeks ago

wonderland.

Myself and Miss have a code word for when she’s not enjoying a play so we can make our excuses and get out of there, setting boundaries before you go is so important.

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By *ikeC81Man
7 weeks ago

harrow


"Myself and Miss have a code word for when she’s not enjoying a play so we can make our excuses and get out of there, setting boundaries before you go is so important. "

This is really important, and I have been in a scenario many years ago where a couple hadn’t set boundaries and mid play they become uncomfortable with a single guy (3 couple and me), I left the scenario to keep the peace even though the other two couples were ok with me (both of the females of the couples I keep in touch with, one who I have become godfather to her son). The couple in question, the lady got upset during play

I would say if joining a couple, I try to understand the dynamics and what I am adding

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By *allySlinkyWoman
7 weeks ago

Leeds


"

She actually said most of them were awful"

I am curious why she chose to play with men she found awful

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"
so the husband left without telling the wife? They shouldn't be at parties. He sounds violent and disrespectful

She could do much better alone or with a trusted friend and actually have fun!

'Have a go' on her. Hahahahhaahaaaa oh wow

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago


"

She actually said most of them were awful

I am curious why she chose to play with men she found awful"
her husband is aggressive and would get physical so left. I'd tell him i hated it in case he 'chinned' me

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By *arla SwingerWoman
7 weeks ago

Somewhere


"

She actually said most of them were awful

I am curious why she chose to play with men she found awful"

Probably because she was having a good time until she realised stroppy husband had sulked off home 🤣

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester


"Personally we would arrive together, stay together while there, play together and leave together. We can read each other and would know if the other feels uncomfortable or wants to get away before the need to say so.

That! Although we will add having hosted, we wouldn't accept the responsibility for anyone unless they expressly informed us of unwelcome attention and ignoring of boundaries!

We have been where you were in terms of Mr being superfluous in play (not nice and we've had frank conversations on it)

Also a couple having a disagreement during the night (sympathetically helped them, sit down and discuss)

But leaving your partner, regardless of how much 'fun' they appeared to be having is a hard no for us.

As a host, you wouldn't tell that wife hubby was in another room so you could have a go would you?"

Of course not! Our point is it's not the organisers responsibility to monitor who is where during the night, you are of the opinion they lied, a possibility, but frankly you should be looking out for each other in that environment, leaving separately was anything but..

It is a lot of hard work organising in the first place and honestly beyond the meet and greet, introducing people and doing the best we can to ensure people are having a good time, we like to have 'fun' too..

Imagine hitting a speed bump at 10 mph and the same at 80.. 80mph is the lifestyle, things can have a far greater impact..

Coming from a place of care you need to improve your communication as you allude to initially. Otherwise one of you will be hurt 😘

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By *arla SwingerWoman
7 weeks ago

Somewhere

To be honest it sounds like husband has way bigger issues than a 'comms issue'. Sounds like he's zero respect for his wife's safety, and well being. I'd personally refuse to attend any form of swinging events with him again. If someone I'm trusting to act like an adult and not just abandon me with a room full of men, decided to flounce off without even a word... I'd be absolutely pissed off. Husband sounds like he spat his dummy because he didn't 'get to have a go' with anyone

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By *carlettxWoman
7 weeks ago

Essex

I’m a bit confused

Is the wife annoyed at the hubby leaving her or the hubby annoyed she was enjoying herself that she forgot about him and didn’t question he might have left ?

Either or it’s not up to the organisers to keep track of them both that’s really for them to be mindful of each other …..

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By *oubleDesireCouple
7 weeks ago

Somewhere


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

You should never go to a party without first discussing your boundaries and how you would deal with certain potential scenarios. Also, surely the woman is able to say no to a lot of those single men?? The man should not have left her without back up. I think hosts do have some responsibility eg who is invited (that they are vetted) and that nothing is going on that looks non-consensual. However, each adult is responsible for what they allow to happen to their body.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
7 weeks ago

Tamworth


"Personally we would arrive together, stay together while there, play together and leave together. We can read each other and would know if the other feels uncomfortable or wants to get away before the need to say so.

Yeah, I'm thinking that's where the main failure was. We didn't stay close enough together. The wife is livid because the host and his cronies, even a woman, lied about hubby leaving."

I’m confused how any of this is anyone’s fault but your own. It’s not their responsibility to set your boundaries.

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By *midnight-Woman
7 weeks ago

...


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

I'm kinda speechless and so many questions... But the biggest red flag for me is you stropping out on your wife and leaving her vulnerable with a bunch of strangers. Unreal.

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By *ackformore100Man
7 weeks ago

Tin town


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

Surely it has to be fun for both of you? Of one of you isn't feeling it... Just go.. Together. And try again another day.

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By * and R cple4Couple
7 weeks ago

swansea

I find it very strange as a couple that you haven't had a discussion regarding boundaries.

If either of us are feeling uncomfortable in any type of way all it takes is a subtle look or maybe a hand gesture and we both remove ourselves from the situation.

Leaving your wife in a strange place with strangers and not even knowing if she was even comfortable or not is wrong on so many levels..

I think you both definitely need to improve your communication skills before you try anything else..

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
7 weeks ago

Herts


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

Ok there’s a lot to unpack here but two things stand out immediately.

‘Hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty’.

You had a strop and left your wife in a situation which could have turned into a problem at any moment.

🤔

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By *anetv4matureTV/TS
7 weeks ago

portsmouth

1) Poor hosting, possiblly unvetted attendees ?

2) Poor (if there were any) ground rules?

3) hedonism isn't without responsibility but these events are only a reflection of how society has lost it's way anyhow !

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
7 weeks ago

Around the Midlands

This sounds like an absolute nightmare for the wife!

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

Don't such parties have a universal safe word, like you'd have in KV abd similar establishmens?

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago


"Don't such parties have a universal safe word, like you'd have in KV abd similar establishmens?

"

Establishments*

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By *allySlinkyWoman
7 weeks ago

Leeds


"Don't such parties have a universal safe word, like you'd have in KV abd similar establishmens?

"

Isn't the universal safe word "no" ?

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester


"Don't such parties have a universal safe word, like you'd have in KV abd similar establishmens?

Isn't the universal safe word "no" ?"

That!! Would seem wife didn't say it and retrospectively said she didn't enjoy herself 🤔🤷

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester


"1) Poor hosting, possiblly unvetted attendees ?

2) Poor (if there were any) ground rules?

3) hedonism isn't without responsibility but these events are only a reflection of how society has lost it's way anyhow !"

Ridiculous statement, private party with all attending in the knowledge of what it was.

A single female (as far as we can tell, husband left!) seemingly welcoming attention, sorry the responsibility is on them.

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester


"Don't such parties have a universal safe word, like you'd have in KV abd similar establishmens?

Establishments*"

Not an "establishment" and no mention of the wife approaching the organisers regards being unhappy.. 🤷

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By *herryEatersCouple
7 weeks ago

East Cheshire

We've had a few similar situations but I have NEVER left Cherry like that !. Yes we sometimes go off alone but never leave the place with the other still inside. We often check in on each other as a couple should, recently in a club Cherry was so pleased I came looking for her after my internal timer went off. She was fine but I needed to make sure as we've had a few pushy/dishonest/unclean folk cause issues over the years and it seems to be getting worse !. Sometimes I'll get a bad feeling about a guy or couple (usually correct) and I'll give Cherry the look or simply drag her away. Look after your girl !!

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago


"To be honest it sounds like husband has way bigger issues than a 'comms issue'. Sounds like he's zero respect for his wife's safety, and well being. I'd personally refuse to attend any form of swinging events with him again. If someone I'm trusting to act like an adult and not just abandon me with a room full of men, decided to flounce off without even a word... I'd be absolutely pissed off. Husband sounds like he spat his dummy because he didn't 'get to have a go' with anyone "
👍👍this!!

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
7 weeks ago

Herts


"To be honest it sounds like husband has way bigger issues than a 'comms issue'. Sounds like he's zero respect for his wife's safety, and well being. I'd personally refuse to attend any form of swinging events with him again. If someone I'm trusting to act like an adult and not just abandon me with a room full of men, decided to flounce off without even a word... I'd be absolutely pissed off. Husband sounds like he spat his dummy because he didn't 'get to have a go' with anyone "

hubby also seems to have a nasty streak when things aren’t going his way.

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester


"We've had a few similar situations but I have NEVER left Cherry like that !. Yes we sometimes go off alone but never leave the place with the other still inside. We often check in on each other as a couple should, recently in a club Cherry was so pleased I came looking for her after my internal timer went off. She was fine but I needed to make sure as we've had a few pushy/dishonest/unclean folk cause issues over the years and it seems to be getting worse !. Sometimes I'll get a bad feeling about a guy or couple (usually correct) and I'll give Cherry the look or simply drag her away. Look after your girl !!"

Abso-fucking-lutely!! 👍👊

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago


"Don't such parties have a universal safe word, like you'd have in KV abd similar establishmens?

Establishments*

Not an "establishment" and no mention of the wife approaching the organisers regards being unhappy.. 🤷"

My bad, I meant "event", really. And even if the wife was happy, the husband really sounds like he wasn't. Their mistake maybe, not having discussed boundaries and rules beforehand, but he could have mentioned he wasn't comfortable with what was going in, rather than just leaving? Did he feel option-less? Did he not want to spoil his wife's enjoyment, at gis own expense?

I'm confused as to what really transpired.

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester


"Don't such parties have a universal safe word, like you'd have in KV abd similar establishmens?

Establishments*

Not an "establishment" and no mention of the wife approaching the organisers regards being unhappy.. 🤷

My bad, I meant "event", really. And even if the wife was happy, the husband really sounds like he wasn't. Their mistake maybe, not having discussed boundaries and rules beforehand, but he could have mentioned he wasn't comfortable with what was going in, rather than just leaving? Did he feel option-less? Did he not want to spoil his wife's enjoyment, at gis own expense?

I'm confused as to what really transpired. "

No judgement other than the implications the situation was the organisers responsibility

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By *elshboobs999Couple
7 weeks ago

Caerphilly and Llanelli


"I find it very strange as a couple that you haven't had a discussion regarding boundaries.

If either of us are feeling uncomfortable in any type of way all it takes is a subtle look or maybe a hand gesture and we both remove ourselves from the situation.

Leaving your wife in a strange place with strangers and not even knowing if she was even comfortable or not is wrong on so many levels..

I think you both definitely need to improve your communication skills before you try anything else..

"

What they said

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By *e and him 2021Couple
7 weeks ago

stoke on trent

We’ve been a couple of parties at houses or clubs. We always chat before and stick together, has others have said arrive together, stay together and leave together unless you are a play separate couple which by the sound of it you aren’t. If one isn’t happy with the situation then chat to each other and leave.

Stay to keep one happy or one just walk off/out isn’t the way forward in this life style.

We don’t have a code word etc but I the male can tell if she isn’t feeling it or the situation isn’t right just by the look on her face but she has at times just called a stop to the play herself before now.

Really he should have found you and said he’s not comfortable then you could have talked there or just left.

Also the crowd you was in were wrong to say he was in another room but guess the heat of the moment they just saw you has meat for the taking which is totally out of order. We’ve met some great guys and they even looked after my partner and told other guys to ask first when she was on an open bed before and they have remained friends for a long time. There are some great guys out there.

Best advice is to communicate at all times or it will not end up been fun which at the end of the day it is meant to be.

People do this to enhance the relationship and enjoy each other

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By *acky RacersCouple
7 weeks ago

Lincoln

So many red flags here...

We've gone off and played separately at parties on occasion but always with an awareness of where each other is and what's going on for them with regular check ins with each other and if we are happy, comfortable and safe.

Apart from the underlying threat of violence from the male half towards other party goers...I don't think I would ever forgive my partner if he left me alone at a party...particularly one where he had a feeling of things being unsafe as has been alluded to...

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By *olly Goodhead83Woman
7 weeks ago

Basingstoke


" The wife is livid because the host and his cronies, even a woman, lied about hubby leaving.

Is the wife livid that her husband abandoned her and left ?

At first, until she realised 2 hours had gone by before she started looking for her husband. From your reaction it sounds like its par for the course for people to get taken advantage of when they get split up?"

It took her 2 hours to think to look for her husband? That’s a long time! If she wasn’t comfortable then surely she’d not stay there & would immediately look for her husband. No, it’s not par for the course to be taken advantage of at any point - with or without the husband.

My suggestion would be discussing your boundaries beforehand & ensure you stick to them. Don’t be afraid to speak up in any situation. Any decent person will respect your boundaries and the word no.

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

As a woman who occasionally goes out to play alone it's depressing how many people on this thread think a lady needs a bodyguard or triggeringly wanky "universal safe word" to make choices at events they attend as couples/men.

If I find myself in a place where my most basic rights to bodily autonomy are not respected I don't come back another day with a date

Having said that the OP couple's profile sounds quite positive, the veris playful and neither were aware the other was unhappy. So it's hard to see that relative strangers are overly negligent in missing that. One to chalk up as a "learning experience" I guess.

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By *exxyyDy11Man
7 weeks ago

North West

Hang on a minute. The Husband left his Wife with a bunch of strangers, you've never met, know nothing about. That is crazy. Do some people have no sense of self awareness. Just so unbelievably dangerous.

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By *ackformore100Man
7 weeks ago

Tin town

Go easy on the judgement folks. Mistakes were made and will hopefully be learned from.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
7 weeks ago

Norwich

The problem is we are only hearing one side but even so, reading between the lines, it wasn't a good scenario.

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By *he Boot BoysCouple (MM)
7 weeks ago

LIVERPOOL

If a hotwife wants a gangbang, much better to arrange a meet with an established and reputable squad than to chance it with a bunch of random cocks at a badly run sausage fest.

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

He maybe should be there with her seeing her being turned on .She could of had sex with him too with them .I find all that very erotic. x

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By *itygamesMan
7 weeks ago

UK


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

leave the party........simple

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By *he Silver FuxMan
7 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

There have been quite a few posts where people are saying they can’t believe the husband left his wife alone… but this is actually how some couples play. Wives don’t always want or need their husbands on hand as bodyguards, the husbands sometimes don’t want to watch their wives play. In this scenario the wife has been playing with multiple men at a private party, the husband has taken her there for this, doesn’t want to watch. What appears to have happened is that the male scrum on and around his wife has got a little out of hand, and the husband has witnessed this, has naturally felt aggression coming on and removed himself from the party. This didn’t get passed back to the wife (maliciously or otherwise). What went wrong here was a lack of communication. The couple need a way of clearly communicating with each other (NOT via any strangers or third parties) to end the proceedings and recover. It can be quite overwhelming for a husband when a wife has an appetite for multiple men, it’s incredibly intense. If what he sees makes him uncomfortable then they need a pre-arranged way (safe word so that wife knows to stop or husband taking back control and telling all men to cease and step away). There was nothing wrong with what the wife was doing or the husband (who realised that he was feeling overwhelmed, agitated and increasingly aggressive and removed himself before he did something he would regret) but before they go out and do this kind of play again they MUST agree when and how to stop proceedings and not relying on others. I guarantee that if the husband stepped up and called out ‘that’s enough, step away from my wife’ the single guys would have complied - no dramas.

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By *londebiguyMan
7 weeks ago

Southport


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

Who on earth would just leave their partner alone at a party without telling them they were leaving?

Cannot believe it.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
7 weeks ago

barnstaple

You left your wife at a party? Ffs

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By *ad NannaWoman
7 weeks ago

East London

I'd have calmly got in amongst the crowd, looked my partner in the eyes and said are you ok? I'm not comfortable and I'd like to leave.

If they said I'm fine love you go, I'd have waited where I could keep an eye on him.

I'm wondering what it was that made you want to start knocking people out.

If my partner felt like that there must have been something awful going on.

Next time, maybe make sure there will be people going who you can get involved with, so you don't feel left out, and your wife needs to be assertive with people she's allowing to touch her.

One reason I couldn't go to parties like that is because of having to protect myself from men who can't control themselves.

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By *milyRose321TV/TS
7 weeks ago

Derry, Ireland

Just a thought what if it was other way round? Would everyone be critical about the Mrs or still be critical about Mr for not leaving with wife?

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By *omblingFreeCouple
7 weeks ago

The Village

gawd it's like a mucky judge judy in ere

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By *herrybakewellCouple
7 weeks ago

Staffordshire

You failed each other....not communicating properly.

The hosts acted very poorly....saying what they needed to keep your partner there.

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By *oiluvfunMan
7 weeks ago

Penrith


"You failed each other....not communicating properly.

The hosts acted very poorly....saying what they needed to keep your partner there.

"

I agree on both points

Is it safe to assume there weren’t many ladies at this party…..?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"There have been quite a few posts where people are saying they can’t believe the husband left his wife alone… but this is actually how some couples play. Wives don’t always want or need their husbands on hand as bodyguards, the husbands sometimes don’t want to watch their wives play. In this scenario the wife has been playing with multiple men at a private party, the husband has taken her there for this, doesn’t want to watch. What appears to have happened is that the male scrum on and around his wife has got a little out of hand, and the husband has witnessed this, has naturally felt aggression coming on and removed himself from the party. This didn’t get passed back to the wife (maliciously or otherwise). What went wrong here was a lack of communication. The couple need a way of clearly communicating with each other (NOT via any strangers or third parties) to end the proceedings and recover. It can be quite overwhelming for a husband when a wife has an appetite for multiple men, it’s incredibly intense. If what he sees makes him uncomfortable then they need a pre-arranged way (safe word so that wife knows to stop or husband taking back control and telling all men to cease and step away). There was nothing wrong with what the wife was doing or the husband (who realised that he was feeling overwhelmed, agitated and increasingly aggressive and removed himself before he did something he would regret) but before they go out and do this kind of play again they MUST agree when and how to stop proceedings and not relying on others. I guarantee that if the husband stepped up and called out ‘that’s enough, step away from my wife’ the single guys would have complied - no dramas. "

Pretty much this, you clearly get it. We chalk it up to a bad experience and lesson learned. Defiantly on the comms between ourselves.

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By *WB85Man
7 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"We’ve been a couple of parties at houses or clubs. We always chat before and stick together, has others have said arrive together, stay together and leave together unless you are a play separate couple which by the sound of it you aren’t. If one isn’t happy with the situation then chat to each other and leave.

Stay to keep one happy or one just walk off/out isn’t the way forward in this life style.

We don’t have a code word etc but I the male can tell if she isn’t feeling it or the situation isn’t right just by the look on her face but she has at times just called a stop to the play herself before now.

Really he should have found you and said he’s not comfortable then you could have talked there or just left.

Also the crowd you was in were wrong to say he was in another room but guess the heat of the moment they just saw you has meat for the taking which is totally out of order. We’ve met some great guys and they even looked after my partner and told other guys to ask first when she was on an open bed before and they have remained friends for a long time. There are some great guys out there.

Best advice is to communicate at all times or it will not end up been fun which at the end of the day it is meant to be.

People do this to enhance the relationship and enjoy each other "

Good points here. I never watch the wife play, it's just not my thing.

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By *bflirtyCouple
7 weeks ago

Milton Keynes


"

Pretty much this, you clearly get it. We chalk it up to a bad experience and lesson learned. Defiantly on the comms between ourselves. "

Did you know it was essentially going to be you 2 plus loads of single guys or did you think it was going to be mostly couples? Also, did they charge for single guys out of interest?

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By *ove and DuckCouple
7 weeks ago

Between Sheffield & Chesterfield.

We attended this party last night. We have been attending for many years now ..never ever had an issue. The lady of this couple was happy to go upstairs with what she calls the cronies of the night. When we realised the husband had disappeared we actually checked the whole house and told her he wasn't to be found. And her answer was OH WELL.

The guest where very concerned.

The outcome of this is if there is jealousy you are not true swingers and it's just not for you

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By *assysWoman
7 weeks ago

sheffield

Maybe you should have an honest conversation with each other. It was his choice to come to the party and then left when his wife went to have fun and he left without telling anyone. Many people looked for her husband except for her as she was busy enjoying herself. It was a few hours before she looked at her phone and realised that he'd left. The cronies that she talked about were mostly married or couples in a relationship that attended this party. There's a speech given at beginning of the night stating rules of play and this is given by my partner. If jealousy is in your relationship then you shouldn't be swinging plus this party had 13 ciuples and 4 single guys. This couple should maybe take a look in the mirror and definitely get a reality check xx

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By *teveanddebsCouple
7 weeks ago

Norwich


"We attended this party last night. We have been attending for many years now ..never ever had an issue. The lady of this couple was happy to go upstairs with what she calls the cronies of the night. When we realised the husband had disappeared we actually checked the whole house and told her he wasn't to be found. And her answer was OH WELL.

The guest where very concerned.

The outcome of this is if there is jealousy you are not true swingers and it's just not for you "

That fills in some blanks

And it's actually how the op's post read between the lines.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
7 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"We attended this party last night. We have been attending for many years now ..never ever had an issue. The lady of this couple was happy to go upstairs with what she calls the cronies of the night. When we realised the husband had disappeared we actually checked the whole house and told her he wasn't to be found. And her answer was OH WELL.

The guest where very concerned.

The outcome of this is if there is jealousy you are not true swingers and it's just not for you "

Ouch. That's a painful truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

Plot twist!

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By *7VYMan
7 weeks ago

Orbit

Sounds like poorly arranged function to me

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By *electableicecreamMan
7 weeks ago

The West

My favorite part of this story is the amount of care that was taken to obscure whether it was Mr or Mrs writing the OP.

Dude you flipped and rage quit the party without telling your SO. Shit happens I guess and it's for you two to deal with that but then you bring it up in a public forum with only half the salient info.

What gives? What outcome are you looking for here?

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Seemed like a lovely couple to start with at beginning of evening when everyone was arriving and getting to know each other. Party started just before 9pm with regular and new couples and regular and new single men including myself and my partner. Everyone knew about playing with couples and that NO meant NO. After the speech the party was declared open. It’s made clear that these party’s are full on. Rules are made clear and that people who play with condoms there wishes are respected by all. Later on in the evening this lady said that she couldn’t find her husband the car was still there but he wasn’t in the house. The lady said that he hadn’t taken the car keys so in my opinion when I found out later the husband had left his wife without letting her know that he was leaving. The lady once she found out he was nowhere to be found in the house didn’t leave the party. She was concerned for her husband but wasn’t afraid to stay and talk and eat food at this time at no point did she check her phone. We however do find that for new couples,single men and women it can be overwhelming for them. They let the host know and leave as the couple or single person whoever they came with. On the odd occasion some couples find it overwhelming and leave without letting the host know. Finally these parties are designed for swingers but they are not for everyone they were in no way coerced in anyway like there post suggest.

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Hi there in this occasion the things that you have mentioned were all expressed very clearly with other rules to follow along with no means no move on to another person with there permission rubbish and cleaning condoms wrappers and wipes I know as I was the speaker at this party

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

This party was nothing like this couple has suggested I was the person telling all the rules for the party before it started her husband left his wife behind and the car and her with the keys we looked for him and tried to help we make it very very clear no means no and that anyone that plays or plays with a condom gets the respect they ask for

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Hi there to you both I was at this party that the couple attended I was the speaker at the party before it starts everything was followed to the letter and play were all happy with what was said we actually helped this lady to try and find her partner he abandoned her left the car and the keys in her bag told no one that he had gone the lady did not check her phone for two hours and was in no way lied too she even carried on playing

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By *electableicecreamMan
7 weeks ago

The West


"Hi there to you both I was at this party that the couple attended I was the speaker at the party before it starts everything was followed to the letter and play were all happy with what was said we actually helped this lady to try and find her partner he abandoned her left the car and the keys in her bag told no one that he had gone the lady did not check her phone for two hours and was in no way lied too she even carried on playing "

If you use 'reply and quote' button on the post you are replying to then everyone can see who you are replying to.

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

The lady was never in a position of mistrust as we the party and the organiser would not let that happen there is a rules and regulations before the party starts

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By *rHotNottsMan
7 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Parties can have strange dynamics.

Not been to many but in general it’s been wife’s with husbands who aren’t playing but staying with them while they are fucked by other men.

Have actually had the opposite problem where the women I’ve taken are not getting any while I hop around the room . Surprised me how few husbands want to join in and are there just for those wives sex drives

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"When we realised the husband had disappeared we actually checked the whole house and told her he wasn't to be found. And her answer was OH WELL.

The guest where very concerned.

The outcome of this is if there is jealousy you are not true swingers and it's just not for you "

Every single person lied to the wife about hubbies whereabouts, including the host. Bang out of order.

Your shitty unsolicited DM from your duplicate JustABitOFFun profile is totally unnecessary but to be expected as your ego clearly hurt. (Google reverse search shows pics on both your profiles appearing on a certain adult services website too)

Its not a case of 'not being true swingers' (whatever that is). The party had a few arse holes at it is all. If the wife wasn't panicking she wouldn't have blown up at that prick of a host.

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

We attend the party last night. It was about 4 single guys and 10 plus couples. There was a lot of watching. Myself was watched a lot by crowdes of men. They stood in the door way. I was asked a few times if they could join in and a no was suffice. It was a fullon party and the first Myself and partner attended.If you or your partner are new to swinging, I would probably say not to go. BUT if you have rules and boundaries and check on each other it's great. We enjoyed ourselves. My partner is new and did find it a bit overwhelming at the start. We had a chat, I said I was happy to go if needed.He decided to stay , and once he relaxed into it we both had a fantastic time.

Also once we was aware the husband was missing most of us looked to find him. I don't know what was said to the lady about her husband being busy so can not comment on that.

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Hi there to you I was at this party it is no way how this couple said it was as the speaker before the party started the rules were made very clear to everyone who was there and the first rule was no means no also went into condom play if someone or a couple want you to put a condom on respect there wishes there is other things to her husband deserted her left the car and keys we looked for him she did not check her phone

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Hi there I have mentioned many times as I was the speaker at this party about the rules in no way are they telling the truth

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By *electableicecreamMan
7 weeks ago

The West


"Hi there I have mentioned many times as I was the speaker at this party about the rules in no way are they telling the truth "

No one knows who you are replying to if you don't use the 'reply and quote' button

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

It was run very well the party in concern are not being honest at all and I was there

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By *arylin-DeeWoman
7 weeks ago

Wrexham

I can't believe what I'm reading! I've been to several parties at this venue and have always found them to have a great atmosphere and very respectful guests. The rules are made very clear at the start and everyone accepts that NO means NO. As a single female I have never felt pressured and all couples and single men have always shown great respect.

In this particular case I'm sure the wife didn't say no and certainly appeared to be having a good time. Other guests were concerned about her missing husband and spent considerable time searching for him both inside and outside the venue.

It is extremely unfair to blame this host for what happened. He is the perfect gentleman, charming and attentive and does all he can to make sure his guests enjoy themselves.

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By *arylin-DeeWoman
7 weeks ago

Wrexham

In case it wasn't obvious from my post I was there last night

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Hi there to you I was at the party he just left at the beginning of the party so it seems deserted his wife without telling her left the car and the keys were in this ladies car she did not look at her phone for two hours she was in no danger we make it very clear in the rules we mentioned and they are not being truthful about the situation

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

We the the speaker and the hosts tried finding him the lady was abandoned he just walked out leaving her and the car and her keys were in her bag the rules are very clear no means no along with other rules

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By *imply DeeWoman
7 weeks ago

Wherever

Imagine attending a party just to spend considerable amount of time in a search for a “missing” husband!

Oh the drama. Good to hear the other part of the story. Looks like jealousy took over in that particular case but it was pretty clear from the OP anyway.

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Mainly couples and four single guys the rules of the party were mentioned before the party started and made very clear

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By *ustA.Man
7 weeks ago

Chesterfield

Not a poorly arranged function a lot of thought goes into it there is hot food snakes soft cold drinks tea coffee if arranged couples can stay over they bring there own alcohol a clearly defined speech is done stating rules and regulations this man just deserted his partner and who was in no way in any danger at all

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By *om and JennieCouple
7 weeks ago

Chams or Socials


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

Having read the whole thread, if Tom had left me for ANY reason, I would be seriously questioning our whole relationship/marriage. You, Sir, are in the wrong for leaving your wife without telling her. You left her vulnerable. It’s all on you.

J

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By *oneypenny2018Woman
7 weeks ago

Gravesend

I have never been to this party but I do know where it is held. Would the Op like to explain how long it took the husband to reach a main road or even civilisation? I’m surprised he didn’t fall into a ditch!

Also have they spoken to the organiser and raised their Issues about what happened before posting it all over Fab

Parties and events take a lot of organisation and you will find that if there are any issues they are always dealt with.

If my partner ever left me alone at a party I’m afraid he wouldn’t be my partner for very long.

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By *racie48Couple
7 weeks ago

shropshire

We went to this party, it was our first time at a house party with so many people, we were made to feel very comfortable and very welcome and there was absolutely no pressure to do anything.

We played together and stayed together as this is how we play as a couple,

The rules of the party where explained very clearly.

We would be happy to go to another party at this location if invited back x

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By *Xtriple7Couple
7 weeks ago

N Peterborough.

Hard lesson there that if you take your wife or lady friend to a swinging party she's going to get alot of attention and probably have lots of sex

Should've stayed and enjoyed the show, joined in.

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By *exySiren01Woman
7 weeks ago

RCT

If you are going into a party scenario then you shouldn't ever be in a position where the other is oblivious to their partners discomfort. Communication and setting clear boundaries before you attend any party scenario is crucial. Go together, leave together and have regular check ins with each other throughout the night and talk about the issues that have arisen and how you felt

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By *midnight-Woman
7 weeks ago

...


"We’ve been a couple of parties at houses or clubs. We always chat before and stick together, has others have said arrive together, stay together and leave together unless you are a play separate couple which by the sound of it you aren’t. If one isn’t happy with the situation then chat to each other and leave.

Stay to keep one happy or one just walk off/out isn’t the way forward in this life style.

We don’t have a code word etc but I the male can tell if she isn’t feeling it or the situation isn’t right just by the look on her face but she has at times just called a stop to the play herself before now.

Really he should have found you and said he’s not comfortable then you could have talked there or just left.

Also the crowd you was in were wrong to say he was in another room but guess the heat of the moment they just saw you has meat for the taking which is totally out of order. We’ve met some great guys and they even looked after my partner and told other guys to ask first when she was on an open bed before and they have remained friends for a long time. There are some great guys out there.

Best advice is to communicate at all times or it will not end up been fun which at the end of the day it is meant to be.

People do this to enhance the relationship and enjoy each other

Good points here. I never watch the wife play, it's just not my thing.

"

Yeah i get not wanting to watch, but would you leave the venue and not tell your OH you were leaving and just 'abandon' them??

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By *ineapple_turnoverCouple
7 weeks ago

London

In someway I sympathise because we had a couple of bad experiences not that dissimilar when young and naive but it's a bit odd that you would leave a party without telling your wife yourself

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By * and R cple4Couple
7 weeks ago

swansea


"Hi there to you I was at the party he just left at the beginning of the party so it seems deserted his wife without telling her left the car and the keys were in this ladies car she did not look at her phone for two hours she was in no danger we make it very clear in the rules we mentioned and they are not being truthful about the situation "
use the reply and quote button as noone knows who your talking to..

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By *egoallthewayCouple
7 weeks ago

West Midlands

We were at the party last night. Happily chatted to the OP couple in the kitchen where the initial impression was that they were lovely and looking forward to the evening.

Around a dozen couples and 4 single men were there … certainly not the rampaging hordes of predatory singles implied by the OP.

At some point in the evening, the lady noticed that her husband had left. Because the house is on 4 levels and he was not in any of the bedrooms, it was deduced that he could be in the cellar. One of us showed the lady the cellar. Another guest walked the perimeter in the dark and cold to see if he was in the garden. Several folk joined in the search. One of us was with her when a message (apparently angry) from the husband landed on her phone.

The party was one of the best we have been to … everyone was friendly and appeared to be having a great time. No coercion, no predators/wanking dead. Just a great laugh … so it was astounding to see the drama unravel on here.

Look, I as the lady of our profile can tell you (to my embarrassment) that I have had nights where the confidence wobbles and I convince myself that no-one would ever want to play with me. It's self-pitying bollocks but at least I can recognise it for what it is. However, I have NEVER blamed a host because a party was not the glorious experience I had hoped for, and certainly not our host last night who is a truly lovely chap, generous as a host, quiet and dignified. He does not deserve these utterly unfounded accusations.

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By *WBiOnlyCoupleCouple
7 weeks ago

st helens

I never comment on the forums, I just read. But I've followed this thread along all day and in light of;

1) The comments OP has made regarding "Chinning/breaking kneecaps"

2) The statements made by multiple established members, who were actually present, all stating the OP is telling outright lies

3) The outright slander against the hosts who seem to be highly regarded by everyone else

I honestly think Fab admin should ban this account. It's disgusting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 16/09/24 05:24:41]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago

When a host knows a guest has gone but chooses not to tell the wife so he can have a jump, which the wife found out after, then the host is a prick. You want to take a look at yourselves if you're prepared to defend that kind of behaviour.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
7 weeks ago

Norwich

This thread has turned into a great advert for the party concerned.

How many would like to go there? We certainly would if it was closer

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By *carlettxWoman
7 weeks ago

Essex

Original OP leaving says everything we needed to know

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By *oiluvfunMan
7 weeks ago

Penrith


"This thread has turned into a great advert for the party concerned.

How many would like to go there? We certainly would if it was closer "

I get the feeling Mrs OP will be looking to return....

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By *ubymarkCouple
7 weeks ago

mold

As a couple that were at the party as well the other night, that last comment really pissed me off.. more than this thread already had.... if that was a true statement why would the host be one of the people running round trying to find the prick who abandoned his wife...?? I was also one of the cronies that took her upstairs.. I saw her husband in the living room fully dressed and messing about on his phone.. I went into the dining room to see the op talking to other couples.. I asked her if she would like to play and she said yes and we went upstairs.. after about 20mins another gentleman appeared and asked politely if he could join in with us. She said yes... After a short while I tagged out and went for a drink.. approx 2hrs later I went back into the bedroom to find her still there with other men enjoying herself. I made the comment that it had been 2 hrs and she laughed and said yes but it's been fun. She did ask me at that point where her husband was and I replied that I hadn't seen him since I took her upstairs originally as I had been busy elsewhere.. but with the house having 4 levels that's not unusual.. I find it disgusting that these two obviously have zero respect for each other and can't put their hand up and admit they are the ones at fault here with thier own problems in their relationship.. to then further try to blame not only the host but other guests for their issues is pathetic and totally out of order. These party's are one of the best and most respected in the area. Very well organised and very respectful.. oh... and as well as the few single guys the op fails to mention the single women that were also at the party..of which there has been zero complaints or winges about the cronies being a problem... In fact ...and I stand to be corrected if I'm wrong.. they loved the attention... The fact that their profile has now disappeared and op has left the site just backs up what I'm saying.. rather than admit to it just run away...

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago


"Original OP leaving says everything we needed to know "

Was thinking the same. 😅

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By * and R cple4Couple
7 weeks ago

swansea

After reading the initial post and then reading everyone who actually attended the party that night it's quite obvious that they fucked up as a couple.

Me and my husband always play together anyway but I know for a fact that even if we didn't we would check in on each other regularly to make sure everything is OK.

Theirs obviously things that weren't discussed beforehand and definitely should have and it seems to me that maybe the lady of the op has shifted some of the blame from herself and is making out that she didn't enjoy herself and she felt a kind of way.

when it's obvious from many people that attended that she was having a good time and wasn't really thinking of her husband in that moment.

So by her making out she wasn't enjoying herself and she was told her husband was still in the house when numerous people that attended said that wasn't true deflects a lot of the blame from her.

This is why house party's aren't for everyone and if your the type of couple that have communication issues then you should definitely work on that before hand.

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By *os19Man
7 weeks ago

Edmonton

Well the OP has now left.From what I have read and understood 10 couples and 4 single guys sounds like a good way for a newbie couple to see if swinging is for them.It seems to me that the host got the correct number of people and ratio for a newbie couple.

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By *end1Man
7 weeks ago

southend on sea

WOW how I would love to be a fly on the wall when these 2 got home!

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By *he Silver FuxMan
7 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Sounded like a great party, thanks to all the attendees clarifying what actually happened, appears just the OP couple causing dramas due to relationship issues and poor communication - it happens - the male getting angry or a female crying in the bathroom… we’ve all seen this before. It just illustrates that Swinging will always reveal any cracks or weaknesses in a relationship.

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By *ucker8200Man
7 weeks ago

Long Eaton

She knew on couple well there

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By *ucker8200Man
7 weeks ago

Long Eaton

Is it up to the host there adults not door men

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By *ucker8200Man
7 weeks ago

Long Eaton

[Removed by poster at 16/09/24 12:54:37]

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By *ucker8200Man
7 weeks ago

Long Eaton

There, we're only 5 single men all regular swingers all behaved and know that "NO IS NO" The OP COUPLE HAVE BLAMED EVERYONE ELSE BUT THENSELVES.

When he was found to be missing she was asked to check the car and start phoning him we found out he was walking home the party which I'm might add was in the middle of no where.. cars were quickly moved. as she was blocked in, when she decided she was leaving

Seems they have dissed the party and host put the slant on it and left the site

Her words to me he's not happy that what you get with marrying a younger man I said didn't you have the talk have you done swinging before she answered yes he hasn't

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By *eyeYCouple
7 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

Ill conceived attendance and thread.. Kinda guessed with the hole's in the story and deflection of blame.. 😞

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By *ickerladMan
7 weeks ago

wem

@bump@

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By *end1Man
7 weeks ago

southend on sea

The OP has deleted profile (what a surprise) it seems pretty obvious what really occurred time to close this thread imo.

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By *ackformore100Man
7 weeks ago

Tin town

Nothing quite like kicking a couple when they're down. Come on.

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By *ubymarkCouple
7 weeks ago

mold


"Nothing quite like kicking a couple when they're down. Come on. "

It's got nothing to do with that at all... It's about saying what's right.. how dare they attack other couples single guys and the host for their own fuck up...and to then post a load of crap about it is even worse... It's not acceptable I'm afraid...

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By *ubymarkCouple
7 weeks ago

mold


"The OP has deleted profile (what a surprise) it seems pretty obvious what really occurred time to close this thread imo."

I agree enough had been said... now they have jumped ship can admin or someone delete this thread now please. As I assume no one else can??

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By *londebiguyMan
7 weeks ago

Southport


"We attended this party last night. We have been attending for many years now ..never ever had an issue. The lady of this couple was happy to go upstairs with what she calls the cronies of the night. When we realised the husband had disappeared we actually checked the whole house and told her he wasn't to be found. And her answer was OH WELL.

The guest where very concerned.

The outcome of this is if there is jealousy you are not true swingers and it's just not for you "

This was how I thought it might be.

Then remorse kicks in possibly.

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By *ackformore100Man
7 weeks ago

Tin town


"Nothing quite like kicking a couple when they're down. Come on.

It's got nothing to do with that at all... It's about saying what's right.. how dare they attack other couples single guys and the host for their own fuck up...and to then post a load of crap about it is even worse... It's not acceptable I'm afraid..."

No need to be afraid. Mistakes were made. Profile deleted. Spleen have been vented. No need to keep kicking that particular can down the road.

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By *igNick1381Man
7 weeks ago

BRIDGEND

So in summary

Op couple went to a party

Mrs OP had the time of her life

Mr OP did not, threw his toys out of the pram, made up a slanderous story and then left after getting rumbled in his bullshit

Am I missing anything?

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By *ove and DuckCouple
7 weeks ago

Between Sheffield & Chesterfield.


"So in summary

Op couple went to a party

Mrs OP had the time of her life

Mr OP did not, threw his toys out of the pram, made up a slanderous story and then left after getting rumbled in his bullshit

Am I missing anything?"

Love it

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By *teveanddebsCouple
7 weeks ago

Norwich


" can admin or someone delete this thread now please. As I assume no one else can?? "

Why delete it, it happened. Would be good for others to see how liars get found out.

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By *rofessorofkinkMan
7 weeks ago

craven arms

I join this thread as the organiser of said party. Can  I firstly  say thank you for your comments  and feedback.  Feedback whether good  or bad is always  positive  when  acted upon and as such  I have  read all the comments and advice from all you out there.

I want to say that I was informed of this thread on the Sunday after the party on the Saturday but I felt it more appropriate for the forum not to become  a place for mud slinging. Swinging  isn't  about  that and everyone  has a right to voice  their opinions, and quite rightly so.

I want to clarify a few things  about the events that unfolded on the weeks, days leading up to the party  and  of course  at the party  itself.

The OP should  we call  him Jeff contacted  me after  hearing about the fact  that he had been  told about my parties and he had been  very  enthusiastic about he and his I know wife coming along.. enthusiastic normally  raises  a red flag for other reasons and this is they often  don't  show up..

Anyway  there was a bit of a chain of messages about  what to wear ( my answer is always  the same.. come in what you feel  comfortable in ).

What  time. ( Again  a pretty  standard answer. And that is 7.30 for 8 and play normally  starts  at 9)

They  kept  on saying  how they were looking  forward to it. And I was looking  forward to meeting them.

Anyway as you who have arrange  and  run parties might know  the day  of the party  is often quite  manic and being on my own it's not easy  to get everything  done  and  In place. As I always ensure that the place  is clean tidy and comfortable for guests.

Anyway buy the time everyone has arrived I have cars parked.. well I'm pretty knackered I can tell  you

With my car  parking duties  I was the first  to see the OP and his wife as I got  them parked up.

When  in the house  I could  see they were talking to other guests and seemed to be relaxing with  a drink, it seemed they were quite  used to being in this environment.

As I said  at my parties  at about  9pm I have a friend  give a speech  that sets out the ground  rules,  not everyone  but the normal.

Before this I speak to the single  men  about  conduct and  any complaints with  be dealt with  by them  being asked to leave..

Anyway  the speeches done the guest are invited to play if they wish  to.. and many do head straight  upstairs.

I found  out that the OPs wife was one of those that  went straight upstairs,  I myself  don't  as those few minutes  give me chance  to breathe and grab  some water..

Anyway I went into  the kitchen to stur food  and  saw the OP in there having  a drink.  He didn't  seem  to be out of place  as others were still in there chatting  and  drinking.. but he did  say  to me tell my wife  I'm in the kitchen. I suppose I should  have read that  signs.. but didn't.  So being  the person  I am  I went up into the bedroom and the wife was very  much involved in what was going on.  I did as the OP had  asked but didn't  get a response.. well you wouldn't would  you.

I went  straight  back  to him and I can't  recall  exactly  what I said  but I know I said she was busy enjoying herself..  after  I passed that  information on I went into  the lounge  to check  if the two couples  that hadn't  turned  up gab messaged needing some help in finding  my place I also  got talking  to people  that were in there.

It was a good 30 minute before  I went back  upstairs.. and got a few clothes off.  And I was in the other room to OPs wife.

Infact  I passed her probably 20 mins later on the landing  going to the loo. Or I assume  she was.

I continued to have a pleasant time as swingers do and it must have been  10.15 or so when  I went  back across  the landing to find wife in the bedroom there.. and  yes I asked if she was playing  and I got a very  positive yes back.  We had  a lot of fun and afterwards  we started  talking  about  many things.  One happen to be husband  and she said  we nearly  didn't  come as he got dressed then  undressed  and  then  dressed again..

I asked  if he was a player or not. The answer  hadAlarm bells ringing full volume.  She said  I quite " he is really narcissistic "  I was stuck for  words.  So asked if she had seen  him as it would  seem  as it was almost  11 she had  been upstairs for that entire  time.. the answer  was again a surprise.  "No he will be somewhere  playing "

At this point she headed down  stairs  as people  had gone down  to eat.. and not long  after  well the great  search  started.. because the wife couldn't  find him.. this said she was probably the most relax  out of everyone there.

It only  became  very real  when  she went  outside  and about  15 messages came  through.. and seeing  some of them  they were very  unpleasant indeed..

Infact although she had to go to find him I was concerned for her safety in doing so.. so much so said ring me if you need to..

That's where this drama all started  and I know  you genuine good  people  will  make your own minds up.

What  I do know is I'm going  to give more advice  other than directions  on the invitation from now on

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By *ubymarkCouple
7 weeks ago

mold


" can admin or someone delete this thread now please. As I assume no one else can??

Why delete it, it happened. Would be good for others to see how liars get found out.

"

That's a fair point..

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By *lecom1Couple
7 weeks ago

Stornoway

We don't need code words or anything like that. After 32 years we are sensitive to how each other really feels. You never leave your partner alone in a new situation.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
7 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

That was a rollercoaster.

I'm assuming Trans aren't welcome at your events, as you've blocked us all from contacting you.

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By *ackformore100Man
7 weeks ago

Tin town


"I join this thread as the organiser of said party. Can  I firstly  say thank you for your comments  and feedback.  Feedback whether good  or bad is always  positive  when  acted upon and as such  I have  read all the comments and advice from all you out there.

I want to say that I was informed of this thread on the Sunday after the party on the Saturday but I felt it more appropriate for the forum not to become  a place for mud slinging. Swinging  isn't  about  that and everyone  has a right to voice  their opinions, and quite rightly so.

I want to clarify a few things  about the events that unfolded on the weeks, days leading up to the party  and  of course  at the party  itself.

The OP should  we call  him Jeff contacted  me after  hearing about the fact  that he had been  told about my parties and he had been  very  enthusiastic about he and his I know wife coming along.. enthusiastic normally  raises  a red flag for other reasons and this is they often  don't  show up..

Anyway  there was a bit of a chain of messages about  what to wear ( my answer is always  the same.. come in what you feel  comfortable in ).

What  time. ( Again  a pretty  standard answer. And that is 7.30 for 8 and play normally  starts  at 9)

They  kept  on saying  how they were looking  forward to it. And I was looking  forward to meeting them.

Anyway as you who have arrange  and  run parties might know  the day  of the party  is often quite  manic and being on my own it's not easy  to get everything  done  and  In place. As I always ensure that the place  is clean tidy and comfortable for guests.

Anyway buy the time everyone has arrived I have cars parked.. well I'm pretty knackered I can tell  you

With my car  parking duties  I was the first  to see the OP and his wife as I got  them parked up.

When  in the house  I could  see they were talking to other guests and seemed to be relaxing with  a drink, it seemed they were quite  used to being in this environment.

As I said  at my parties  at about  9pm I have a friend  give a speech  that sets out the ground  rules,  not everyone  but the normal.

Before this I speak to the single  men  about  conduct and  any complaints with  be dealt with  by them  being asked to leave..

Anyway  the speeches done the guest are invited to play if they wish  to.. and many do head straight  upstairs.

I found  out that the OPs wife was one of those that  went straight upstairs,  I myself  don't  as those few minutes  give me chance  to breathe and grab  some water..

Anyway I went into  the kitchen to stur food  and  saw the OP in there having  a drink.  He didn't  seem  to be out of place  as others were still in there chatting  and  drinking.. but he did  say  to me tell my wife  I'm in the kitchen. I suppose I should  have read that  signs.. but didn't.  So being  the person  I am  I went up into the bedroom and the wife was very  much involved in what was going on.  I did as the OP had  asked but didn't  get a response.. well you wouldn't would  you.

I went  straight  back  to him and I can't  recall  exactly  what I said  but I know I said she was busy enjoying herself..  after  I passed that  information on I went into  the lounge  to check  if the two couples  that hadn't  turned  up gab messaged needing some help in finding  my place I also  got talking  to people  that were in there.

It was a good 30 minute before  I went back  upstairs.. and got a few clothes off.  And I was in the other room to OPs wife.

Infact  I passed her probably 20 mins later on the landing  going to the loo. Or I assume  she was.

I continued to have a pleasant time as swingers do and it must have been  10.15 or so when  I went  back across  the landing to find wife in the bedroom there.. and  yes I asked if she was playing  and I got a very  positive yes back.  We had  a lot of fun and afterwards  we started  talking  about  many things.  One happen to be husband  and she said  we nearly  didn't  come as he got dressed then  undressed  and  then  dressed again..

I asked  if he was a player or not. The answer  hadAlarm bells ringing full volume.  She said  I quite " he is really narcissistic "  I was stuck for  words.  So asked if she had seen  him as it would  seem  as it was almost  11 she had  been upstairs for that entire  time.. the answer  was again a surprise.  "No he will be somewhere  playing "

At this point she headed down  stairs  as people  had gone down  to eat.. and not long  after  well the great  search  started.. because the wife couldn't  find him.. this said she was probably the most relax  out of everyone there.

It only  became  very real  when  she went  outside  and about  15 messages came  through.. and seeing  some of them  they were very  unpleasant indeed..

Infact although she had to go to find him I was concerned for her safety in doing so.. so much so said ring me if you need to..

That's where this drama all started  and I know  you genuine good  people  will  make your own minds up.

What  I do know is I'm going  to give more advice  other than directions  on the invitation from now on "

An interesting insight into hosting a party.

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By *atandjayCouple
7 weeks ago

Brighton

Can’t believe any guy would leave his wife unless she specifically wanted him which is another scenario

I would only leave Nata if she told me in person but most likely find a corner to watch and wank ( protect if necessary)

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By *inceIlkestonMan
7 weeks ago

Ilkeston

Hopefully they've learned a lesson but I doubt it due to being UNLOS

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By *teveanddebsCouple
7 weeks ago

Norwich


"Hopefully they've learned a lesson but I doubt it due to being UNLOS"

I doubt it as well because the op has gone the whole thread blaming others.

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By *anted by NightMan
6 weeks ago

Shangri-La


"Hey guys,

Long story short we went to a party very recently where the wife was crowded by single blokes and hubby felt left out in general. We do recognise we have a comms issue and need to be far more clear.

However, this particular party...hubby chose to leave to avoid turning nasty. Yet, the host and many regular guests lied to the wife to suggest hubby was in another room. We assume so as many of the regular blokes could 'have a go'.

Aside from the chinning or braking knee caps, how else would folk recommend dealing with a scenario where one of you is oblivious to the other not being comfortable?"

I don’t think you are swingers and Both of you have No respect for each other boundaries.

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By *milyRose321TV/TS
6 weeks ago

Derry, Ireland

Can't believe this thread still going see truth came out plus the couple account left lol

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
6 weeks ago

Newcastle

I find it bizarre that a couple would go to a party without establishing boundaries beforehand and that one would leave a party without telling the other. From what I’ve read it sounds like the event was well managed and everyone else seemed to have a good time. I think the key word here is ‘accountability’…

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