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"I'm kind of shy in my regular life, so I really like sex clubs because I can hang around watching others until I feel ready to join in, if I ever do. It feels a lot lower obligation than organising to meet up with specific people with the intent of having sex, you know? Not to mention you can get away with a lot less talking because you're all there for the same thing. But I find this frustrating because I often have chats on here with couples and singles who are interested in meeting, and the things we talk about sound fun, but the moment we get to actually organising anything i get cold feet. What if I get there and I'm too tired? What if they don't like me as much in person? What if my libido dies halfway? I don't want to be a time waster, but I feel bad coming up with excuses for it. Does anyone else have these problems, and any advice for a nervous swinger? " For me it’s part and parcel of the scene. Sometimes I will be up for it during the day go to a club in evening , then not be up for it. I prefer to watch and join in if invited as well. I rarely do hotel meets nowadays for the reason as I get nervous so it’s easier to keep to clubs | |||
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"I always have a social first. For me that is part of the whole building up to anything sexual or in fact nothing sexual Somewhere on mutual territory normal mid distance " Absolutely this. I find it much easier to meet people in a relaxed social setting first, with zero chances of play. After all, if I don’t like you with your clothes on, thats not going to change when you get naked. Doesn’t work for all, lots on here have a “fuck and go” mentality and won’t/don’t put any effort into meeting people like this. But some will. Which should help your nerves. | |||
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"I always have a social first. For me that is part of the whole building up to anything sexual or in fact nothing sexual Somewhere on mutual territory normal mid distance Absolutely this. I find it much easier to meet people in a relaxed social setting first, with zero chances of play. After all, if I don’t like you with your clothes on, thats not going to change when you get naked. Doesn’t work for all, lots on here have a “fuck and go” mentality and won’t/don’t put any effort into meeting people like this. But some will. Which should help your nerves. " 100% this! Gives you the chance to establish if the same attraction is there IRL as well as online and also an opportunity to have a little flirt and discuss preferences/boundaries and interests. Some people will say all sorts online. If they can't have a similar chat face to face then it doesn't set things up well for later if you choose to get naked. Having those discussions in advance in a safe environment takes away a lot of the pressure and nerves when you reach the bedroom/lounge/shower.....😉 | |||
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