FabSwingers.com forum: GENUINE ADVICE!! PLEASE

By *ild imagination OP Man
over a year ago

Basildon

I'm in a 20yr plus relationship with a wonderful loving caring sexy women who u love dearly BUT i have fantasize all my adult life about a bi FFM 3sum. The thought drives me wild. We have spoke about it MANY times but she has NO desire at all about sex with another girl nor could she stand the thought of another girl touching me. I know it selfish of me but i REALLY want to do this befor I'm to old and fat....lol Anyone got any ideas how i can fulfil my ultimate fantasy without hurting my gorgeous girl??? I'm feeling so trapped about it ANY advice would be nice.i dont want pay a escort because it would be real as they are doing it for my cash x

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

you say she couldn't stand the thought of another girl touching you - with her knowledge.

Just imagine how much worse it would be if she found out you'd not only been touched, but done it behind her back and lied about it.

Whats worth more to you, the fantasy, or your "loving caring sexy woman"? Sounds to me like they are mutually exclusive so you can't have both... know what I'd be choosing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So does your wife know you are on this site?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you say she couldn't stand the thought of another girl touching you - with her knowledge.

Just imagine how much worse it would be if she found out you'd not only been touched, but done it behind her back and lied about it.

Whats worth more to you, the fantasy, or your "loving caring sexy woman"? Sounds to me like they are mutually exclusive so you can't have both... know what I'd be choosing.

Exactly agree Wat Ur saying, slightly distracted by Ur pics though, cute,cute butt x

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By *ild imagination OP Man
over a year ago

Basildon

"So does your wife know you are on this site?"

No she doesn't know I'm on site and i know it wrong but its doing my head in wanting to do ffm . I really dont kbow which way to turn???

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By *oxerjoshleeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Sometimes it's better to keep the fantasy as a fantasy. Don't mess things up by going behind her back. You would regret that more than anything.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Well you either cheat on your GF and live with it or walk away and leave it fantasy.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

My advice, leave the site and work on other fun things with your gorgeous lady, or you might find yourself on here as a genuine single guy after she finds out and decides she no longer wants a relationship with someone she cannot trust.

How empty would a FFM be if it meant losing your partner?

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By *ild imagination OP Man
over a year ago

Basildon

"Sometimes it's better to keep the fantasy as a fantasy. Don't mess things up by going behind her back. You would regret that more than anything."

i know i would BUT i don't want to die knowing i didn't do it if yiu know what i mean

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By *ild imagination OP Man
over a year ago

Basildon

"My advice, leave the site and work on other fun things with your gorgeous lady, or you might find yourself on here as a genuine single guy after she finds out and decides she no longer wants a relationship with someone she cannot trust.

How empty would a FFM be if it meant losing your partner?"

I know what your saying but its my life to.. i try to do EVERYTHING i can to make hrr happy even said I'd do mmf for her which would be hard for me but we all only live once and should live our lives to the full

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

it sounds like you've decided in your head you are doing it anyway, so good luck with the consequences...

Being cynical, was this a thread where you expected 2 ladies to jump up and shout "woohoo we're here, and up for that?"

Good luck, really think you're going to need it... whichever way the cookie crumbles!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say you dont want to hurt her. Then you need to accept that it's staying as a fantasy then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't risk it keep what's precious and only dream. That way no one gets hurt

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By *ild imagination OP Man
over a year ago

Basildon

"it sounds like you've decided in your head you are doing it anyway, so good luck with the consequences...

Being cynical, was this a thread where you expected 2 ladies to jump up and shout "woohoo we're here, and up for that?"

thats not why i did it honestly. Just wanted some advice. But thanks for yours

No thats not why i posted ho

Good luck, really think you're going to need it... whichever way the cookie crumbles!"

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By *hris N KateCouple
over a year ago

Gainesville

Well, would you be willing to mfm under the same conditions? Have you offered? A mfm with no guy guy rocks if your straight and not paranoid. If you cant imagine that, why would she be expected to consider the equivalent? That is why we do both combos and she was the first to be the center of attention. Of couse, I didnt realize I was unleashing a sex monster on the world, lol

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth

Better to regret the things you have done than the things you have not.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

But some people are not into group sex whatever the combination.

You seem to have an obsession with it, but it sounds like it won't happen....if the obsession carries on though I think you won't have a relationship left either.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Give her the house and everything in it, half your pension ect

If she finds out you are on here that is what you stand to lose

Still worth the fantasy??

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"you say she couldn't stand the thought of another girl touching you - with her knowledge.

Just imagine how much worse it would be if she found out you'd not only been touched, but done it behind her back and lied about it.

Whats worth more to you, the fantasy, or your "loving caring sexy woman"? Sounds to me like they are mutually exclusive so you can't have both... know what I'd be choosing.

Honesty trust and respect,, they re the values that I use in everyday life, you ve been honest enough with your partner discussin this fantasy,, she gave you her honest answer, the lady has shown you respect and trust show her the same,,

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Being cynical, was this a thread where you expected 2 ladies to jump up and shout "woohoo we're here, and up for that?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How empty would a FFM be if it meant losing your partner?

I think if you did do a MMF with her, your fantasy would soon disappear cos all you would be thinking of would be her fucking another guy lol.....plus u are very UNLIKELY to find a pair of bi girls to jump into bed with you on this site or any other site, they are rare etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't throw your relationship away over a fantasy. you say that you love your mrs but your on a swinging site behind her back and thinking about cheating on her with not just 1 but 2 women.

i have 2 questions for you

1 could you actually go behind her back and then live with the guilt of not only cheating on her but lying to her aswel

2 if you did it and she found out you would be throwing a 20yr relationship away over a fantasy so is that fantasy worth it?

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By *hris N KateCouple
over a year ago

Gainesville

How empty would a FFM be if it meant losing your partner?

Exactly. Once had an irate husband email me asking if I was really ready to watch my wife take another mans cock.

My first thought was "why yes I am!" Lol. If thats not your answer, you can see why it may not be that way for her.

Let it go, nice fantasy, but for you it should probably stay fantasy.

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By *ysteryboatMan
over a year ago

Brighton

on the basis that there are seemingly relatively few ff couples who would want to randomly shag a single male, i'd say that it's going to remain a fantasy anyway, so don't waste your time searching for it and stop beating yourself up over wanting it.

in the unlikely event that it did come your way . . . cheat, cross it off your bucket list, and move on.

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I'm in a 20yr plus relationship with a wonderful loving caring sexy women who u love dearly BUT i have fantasize all my adult life about a bi FFM 3sum. The thought drives me wild. We have spoke about it MANY times but she has NO desire at all about sex with another girl nor could she stand the thought of another girl touching me. I know it selfish of me but i REALLY want to do this befor I'm to old and fat....lol Anyone got any ideas how i can fulfil my ultimate fantasy without hurting my gorgeous girl??? I'm feeling so trapped about it ANY advice would be nice.i dont want pay a escort because it would be real as they are doing it for my cash x "

She has no desire to be with another woman and you have to simply accept that. Imagine, if you are not bi, sucking another man's cock. How does that make you feel? That is how she feels about playing with another woman.

If you try to fulfill your fantasy whilst still with this girlfriend then you will, at some point, be found out and hurt her immeasurably. If you love her as much as you claim you will not pursue this whilst still in this relationship. Now, you are still quite young. Your relationship may or may not last. I think you simply have to be satisfied with what you have.

By being on here shows that you are actually taking action in trying to pursue your fantasy - you might want to consider this.

Whatever decision you make someone is going to get hurt - unless you simply decide you can accept monogamy happily - though, from what you say I doubt that.

I hope it does work out for you but I fear that the pain and hurt is only round the corner. Good luck.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Just do it. You're clearly looking for justification anyway and you can soon find someone else that you can claim to love. Blimey it's only twenty years and a whole lot of heartache at risk here for a sexual fantasy.

As you say it's your life too and your partner refusing to indulge in sex with another woman for your gratification is clearly spoiling it, all those other things you say she means to you just don't measure up.

You want to do this before you're fat and old, best get in quick before you're fat, old, alone and bitter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A decent loving woman is hard to find, I suggest you watch some porn and delete your profile, after 20 years of marriage, you are looking to lose your home kids and sanity if you get caught playing away .

I am sure some wise chinese person said or should have said , a hour of pleasure is nothing to a lifetime of regret

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

I am sure some wise chinese person said or should have said , a hour of pleasure is nothing to a lifetime of regret "

Think it through - you (against the odds) do it, either it's fantastic and you want to do it again - and again - and again, sooner or later you will be found out.

Or.

You do it and reality turn out to be much less exciting than the fantasy - worth risking your marriage for?

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

Some very good and sensible advice there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How empty would a FFM be if it meant losing your partner?

Hmmmm.. do I detect a note of thinly veiled hypocrisy there? YOU would find it hard for HER to be with another guy, yet YOU think she should be brimming with enthusiasm for you to fuck another woman in front of her?????

Not thought this one - and, more importantly, your motivators for this 'fantasy' of yours - through too well, have you....

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By *ust a TeaseMan
over a year ago

Earth

you should weigh up what is worth more, do you value your 20 odd years with this lady or do you think 30 half with 2 other women is worth it?

there is no such thing as having you cake and eating it.

you should choose either one or the other, if you cant choose then you should have neither.

Just my two cents

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never. Going. To. Happen.

Unless you pay for it. It's that simple.

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By *oxerjoshleeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Sometimes it's better to keep the fantasy as a fantasy. Don't mess things up by going behind her back. You would regret that more than anything.

i know i would BUT i don't want to die knowing i didn't do it if yiu know what i mean"

Beats dying lonely mate. Think about it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Sometimes it's better to keep the fantasy as a fantasy. Don't mess things up by going behind her back. You would regret that more than anything.

i know i would BUT i don't want to die knowing i didn't do it if yiu know what i mean

Beats dying lonely mate. Think about it. "

That is the single most useful piece of advice I have seen so far, succint and to the point.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Well... You've been on here for a while ... You're verified.

IF you're meet verified and not just cam verified you don't seem too bothered about cheating 1on1, so why the angst about cheating ffm???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well... You've been on here for a while ... You're verified.

IF you're meet verified and not just cam verified you don't seem too bothered about cheating 1on1, so why the angst about cheating ffm???

end of day you been here 9 months, looking for a fuck buddy, and been somehow verified..... whats the point of the question, if ya been on here that long and NOW ask that question, think you've made your own mind up!

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull

you fooling yourself, you don't love this 'wonderful loving caring sexy women', you on a site, betraying her, end the relationship and move on, sounds harsh but if you want something you cant have, you need to decide is it worth it?

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By *oublewodkaWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Fantasy and reality are two different things entirely...all too often the reality shatters the fantasy and can lead to allsorts of strife.

Plus the actual relationship must be very strong to be able to deal with any issues, be them good or bad.

If you are already here as a single guy and meet verified and its all without her knowledge then I am sorry but its never going to work imo.

You either love her or not...but its cheating.... And already the nails are going in the coffin!

Life is too short... You need to be yourself so only you can decide ultimately whether you want to remain wondering (for her sake) or if its time to cut loose.

My husband was in a 25 yr marriage before he met me. Luckily they had an open marriage...she went to her bf and he came to me. Three years later we moved in together and he divorced her because we couldn't be apart any longer. Now we are very happily married and we entered into swinging together. completely open and honest with each other about EVERYTHING....which is how it should be if you are a genuine Swinger.

Its people who keep secrets I don't tolerate on here... Unfortunately it's becoming more of a playground every day what with jealousy and dishonesty.

It becomes a drama... I did that at school!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK some genuine advice, your chances of finding two women to join you in a FFM are pretty small, so it's very unlikely to happen, but searching for it risks everything you currently have.

IF you happen to find a bi FWB type arrangement then your chances improve quite considerably but then the fantasy becomes reality.

My wife is bi, and so we seek out bi women for her to have fun with, the majority of the FFM's that have happened have been FF with M and often MM fetching the wine, the FF play is the novelty /rarity whatever the term is, so

the males get left out until the end.

Personally I am fine even if I don't get so much as a blow job, because I know J will be horny as hell for weeks after a meet, so I am well taken care of.

But I bet your fantasy is not to be a waiter with a fun view...

If your partner is willing to join you in group sex of any sort then get a couples profile, you never know where it will lead, but if you are playing behind her back it generally only leads to grief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So does your wife know you are on this site?

No she doesn't know I'm on site and i know it wrong but its doing my head in wanting to do ffm . I really dont kbow which way to turn???"

I would suggest saving your marriage, deleting your account before see finds it, and leaving the idea as a fantasy.

Always amazes me the married men on here claiming to love their wife, yet don't live them enough to not look for sex elsewhere behind wife's back. (And saying wife as its married guy that posted the OP, married women doing same is just as bad)

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By *aughty-PeepsCouple
over a year ago

teesside

if she not bi in any form u probs got no chance, and do u think ur really going to end up with 2 women on here just to please you? i bet you not even met one yet lol

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