FabSwingers.com forum: But I match their profile....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How many times must people post this before they realise that even though the profile requires the potential meet to be between 18-60, male, over 5'10", fit, professional and straight that it doesn't mean that this ensures you a shag?!

Obviously there are so many other areas of attraction to be involved. But and this is the kicker, they may not be horny for you at this particular point. Suck it up and move on, moaning about being blocked or ignored in a thread immediately reduces the likelihood of another person wanting to meet you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many times must people post this before they realise that even though the profile requires the potential meet to be between 18-60, male, over 5'10", fit, professional and straight that it doesn't mean that this ensures you a shag?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Couldn't agree more! If I put up an ad I get a lot of this. WHY won't you meet me? I am EXACTLY what you are looking for!

Erm, actually, you don't decide who I am looking for. I can do that for myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amen to this. Hit the nail on the head!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't post meets for this very reason, there is only so many times you can repeat 'sorry this is not; instashag/ have no morals/ will shag anything/I'm not getting it at home. com or org'

Ok No I didn't bother checking to see if any of the above exist, so have not intentionally posted a link to another site,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couldn't agree more! If I put up an ad I get a lot of this. WHY won't you meet me? I am EXACTLY what you are looking for!

Erm, actually, you don't decide who I am looking for. I can do that for myself."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"I don't post meets for this very reason, there is only so many times you can repeat 'sorry this is not; instashag/ have no morals/ will shag anything/I'm not getting it at home. com or org'

Ok No I didn't bother checking to see if any of the above exist, so have not intentionally posted a link to another site,

I find it useful occasionally to post a meet - but I do end up deleting a lot of messages without response as they are; in text, one liners, have not read the profile, do not match what I want, have no picture at all, are crude. That might leave one, two if I'm lucky, that I might meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arriorMonk60Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's mow becoming a pain to message MF couples and single women on this site as both keep moving the goal posts 4 oo messages sent to fe mails and couples only got

1 interested in meeting,guess what Nothing happened

2not one meet from the 399 messages sent.

It makes one wonder wether some of these ads are real or just made up.

Would like to hear others comments.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/04/13 23:16:54]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mow becoming a pain to message MF couples and single women on this site as both keep moving the goal posts 4 oo messages sent to fe mails and couples only got

1 interested in meeting,guess what Nothing happened

2not one meet from the 399 messages sent.

It makes one wonder wether some of these ads are real or just made up.

Would like to hear others comments.

your 399 messages may have been crap ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

In the name of the weeman! 399 sent messages??? The scattergun effect - throw out enough and somethings gotta be hit?

Dear god, your copy and paste must be worn out!

I prefer a simple, but tailored approach.

As is often said - this is not instashag - we are real people with lives other than swinging. Now I'm awfully sorry that means I'm not available to drop my drawers when you click your fingers - but it doesn't make me fake. Just because you message someone - even if you exchange a few mails back and forward DOES NOT ENTITLE YOU TO A SHAG!!!

If its not a "fancy a fuck" opener it sometimes takes me a message or 6 to get the feel for someone...

The successful meets from here have sent me simple but pleasant, upbeat messages. Being respectful, polite, cheery - and interested - having read my profile (its very blunt just now but I still get chancers)

Also remember looking for single fems is a very sought after market of people on here, likewise are couples seeking a single male.

Just my tuppence worth

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with this to extent but it can be argued both ways. If for example a female doesnt like getting hundreds of crap messages from guys, just block them from messaging you and you can go find the right profile and message them instead. Simple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have only posted one meet and that was a coffee social. Was all I had the nerve for having never done it before - ok coffee social not the most exciting thing here but I would have taken it further had there been some replies and they had caught my eye. But no response and I dont get any messages really either but heyho got something organised for thursday hopefully he wont cancel. im a bit all cancelled out at the moment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arriorMonk60Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

It's not about wanting a quick shag it's a bit more important than that it is about its about trying to even arrange a social meet I know things take time,and I have gone out of my way to not want to rush a lady or a couple into anything,I am a guy who is relaxed happy to meet, and be very flexible

And be available when others are free to meet,but still no response to probably 300 messages sent.

I am an articulate,considerate,intelligent guy,not brain dead like some on here,who cannot string a few words together.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/04/13 10:42:40]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not about wanting a quick shag it's a bit more important than that it is about its about trying to even arrange a social meet I know things take time,and I have gone out of my way to not want to rush a lady or a couple into anything,I am a guy who is relaxed happy to meet, and be very flexible

And be available when others are free to meet,but still no response to probably 300 messages sent.

I am an articulate,considerate,intelligent guy,not brain dead like some on here,who cannot string a few words together."

You posted a thread last week in which several members offered you advice.

To the best of my knowledge, little (if anything) of that advice has been acted upon, certainly in terms of how you present yourself on the site.

If you are unable or unwilling to take that advice and would sooner make forum posts that largely echo the same frustrations as you had last week, then, to me, the problem lies firmly at your own feet not with other site users who choose not to engage you.

As an aside, making comments like 'not brain dead like some on here' is not likely to endear you to many and in some respects contradicts the other claims you make about yourself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am an articulate,considerate,intelligent guy,not brain dead like some on here,who cannot string a few words together."

Oh the irony.

The single biggest turn off to me is somebody trying to stand out from their peergroup by lagging them off.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I agree, people who wail and moan aren't the kind of people I like to spend time with. If things aren't working for you, then perhaps it's not everyone else but you.

300 messages and no reply?

It's not the 300 people!

It's you!

Change what you're doing, ask advice and follow it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree, people who wail and moan aren't the kind of people I like to spend time with. If things aren't working for you, then perhaps it's not everyone else but you.

300 messages and no reply?

It's not the 300 people!

It's you!

Change what you're doing, ask advice and follow it"

I'm not sure i've sent anywhere near 300 initial messages in the several years i've been here!

I have, however, learnt an awful lot from my early experiences and taken on board feedback, advice and read a lot of forum posts on similar subjects. Those that adjust their approaches, expectancies and interactions will often never darken the forums again with a "why can't I" or "it's sooooo hard" style forum post.

Those that let the advice of others fly over their heads can often be seen asking the same questions time and time again.

Expectancy is the best friend of disappointment. Avoid the first - you'll avoid the second!

And never, ever, assume that because you consider that based on a few lines of text and some listed preferences that you are ever what someone else is looking for.

Let them be the judge of that and you'll tend to get more positive reactions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am an articulate,considerate,intelligent guy,not brain dead like some on here,who cannot string a few words together.

Oh the irony.

The single biggest turn off to me is somebody trying to stand out from their peergroup by lagging them off."

i agree

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree, people who wail and moan aren't the kind of people I like to spend time with. If things aren't working for you, then perhaps it's not everyone else but you.

300 messages and no reply?

It's not the 300 people!

It's you!

Change what you're doing, ask advice and follow it"

sounds a tad desprate to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't need 2 threads on such similar subjects.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You don't need 2 threads on such similar subjects.

And I don't need your advice yet here we are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/04/13 12:46:32]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently you do need it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Apparently you do need it. "

Really? Pray tell how I need your advice?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my opinion one thread about people moaning about being ignored is plenty.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"In my opinion one thread about people moaning about being ignored is plenty.

Lol! In that case perhaps one thread about people asking for advice on profiles is plenty too? Or on any other subject? Don't like it? Don't get involved in it. There's plenty of threads I think are pointless but don't wander in to point it out. My life is too short for that and not only that but I think I'm comfortable in my previous decision that I'm happy to live without your advice.

Have fun and good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not really that bothered. People complain about duplicate threads all the time.

Good luck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Expectancy is the best friend of disappointment. Avoid the first - you'll avoid the second!

And never, ever, assume that because you consider that based on a few lines of text and some listed preferences that you are ever what someone else is looking for.

Let them be the judge of that and you'll tend to get more positive reactions."

...and there you go!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree it shouldnt guarantee a shag but maybe the least it could expect is a thanks but no thanks?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree been on here for three weeks and messaged people only to get 2 replies and so feed up that think it might be time to to forget it and delete

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Agree it shouldnt guarantee a shag but maybe the least it could expect is a thanks but no thanks?"

Agreed!

IF they read profile and have sent a decent message....why not!

Only ignore/delete the ones that have taken no notice or have sent a stupid message....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Totally agree been on here for three weeks and messaged people only to get 2 replies and so feed up that think it might be time to to forget it and delete"

Maybe put some kind of pic up, give them an idea???

And not accommodating puts a lot off...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Agree it shouldnt guarantee a shag but maybe the least it could expect is a thanks but no thanks?"

No, you shouldn't expect anything.

That said, anyone who meets my requirements, sends a decent message always gets a message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agree it shouldnt guarantee a shag but maybe the least it could expect is a thanks but no thanks?

Agreed!

IF they read profile and have sent a decent message....why not!

Only ignore/delete the ones that have taken no notice or have sent a stupid message...."

Problem is the people who u class as not read ur profile or sent a stupid message would prob argue they had but worth a try or their message wasn't stupid.

So therefore those who say they expect a reply even if its a no thanks, prob don't realise others have marked their message as stupid or not read their profile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id have to disagree mate. About maybe a fifth of my messages lead to meets, but most lead to flirt filthy or funny banter which I still rather like!

True there are some that go straight to bin, but these are in the minority, proving that in the main women and couples are a pleasant, friendly and thankfully horny bunch!

If you're having trouble getting meets from messaging then why not simply reply to the messages you receive instead? More of my meets come from this as typical for a thirtysomething bloke I don't have as much time to browse and make initial contact as Id like. Plus this way I already know the sender finds me attractive.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's mow becoming a pain to message MF couples and single women on this site as both keep moving the goal posts 4 oo messages sent to fe mails and couples only got

1 interested in meeting,guess what Nothing happened

2not one meet from the 399 messages sent.

It makes one wonder wether some of these ads are real or just made up.

Would like to hear others comments.

Whoops! Meant to quote this...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Problem is the people who u class as not read ur profile or sent a stupid message would prob argue they had but worth a try or their message wasn't stupid.

So therefore those who say they expect a reply even if its a no thanks, prob don't realise others have marked their message as stupid or not read their profile"

They can argue about it all they like...

IF they have read profile an taken notice of my preferences and they fit them....

I would reply with a polite no thanx...(if not interested)

Otherwise, no....they get ignored/deleted..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ax manMan
over a year ago

Hull

It does appear that a vast majority of the males on sites like Fab and similar do think that they only have to message couple and females with "fancy a shag" style replies to posts, you would not do this in a pub or club so why should on-line be different, yes people are on a swinging site for mutual sexual pleasures, but, and its a big but, there are alot more single guys then females and couples so they can be choosy and selective, if your first responce to them is a short message in text speak what do you expect and from experience seeing a female friends mail box the temptation to mass delete must be huge.

There are genuine people on here and I for one have met a few exceptional people,so lets just make more effort and have fun.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally agree been on here for three weeks and messaged people only to get 2 replies and so feed up that think it might be time to to forget it and delete

Maybe put some kind of pic up, give them an idea???

And not accommodating puts a lot off..."

Appears a little more work here could pay benefits!

7 weeks (not three) is no time at all and having a confusing profile - says cant accom/travel but then says can travel in the text, no pics, limited detail re personal tastes, descriptions etc, will never drive people to reply or make first contact!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

I am an articulate,considerate,intelligent guy,not brain dead like some on here,who cannot string a few words together."

Re-read your first post in this thread. Does it exemplify the qualities quoted?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally agree been on here for three weeks and messaged people only to get 2 replies and so feed up that think it might be time to to forget it and delete"

My own profile was a lot like yours after a few weeks last time around. And I got no boots whatsoever.

However by the time I'd been here 7 weeks I'd cottoned on slapped pics up and taken the time to use my imagination (which I like to do anyway so God knows why I didn't earlier). Hey presto, I was banging like an auctioneers mallet, having the time of my life and had a grin wider than a disabled bog.

You get out what you put in mate, a bit like the hokey-y! (and the in out shake it all about bit actually holds water too)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down

"I don't post meets for this very reason, there is only so many times you can repeat 'sorry this is not; instashag/ have no morals/ will shag anything/I'm not getting it at home. com or org'

Ok No I didn't bother checking to see if any of the above exist, so have not intentionally posted a link to another site,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down

"Totally agree been on here for three weeks and messaged people only to get 2 replies and so feed up that think it might be time to to forget it and delete

Maybe put some kind of pic up, give them an idea???

And not accommodating puts a lot off...

Appears a little more work here could pay benefits!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Agree it shouldnt guarantee a shag but maybe the least it could expect is a thanks but no thanks?"

But why should they have to? If you went on a dating site same would apply. Just because someone is on here doesn't mean they have to waste time replying to someone they've no interest in. It's not personal, move along to the next person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread