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"I think instead of just singling out single men there should as equally be a part for all profiles. Whilst men get the majority of the bad press here it is not solely just them " Absolutely agree - it’s not just single men - some single women and couples would benefit from some ‘tips’ | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. " 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward... | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward..."
The onus should be on people to educate themselves, not be told by others.
What benefit is there to give 'cheat sheets' and walk through guides to people who, as grown adults, should be more than able to learn by experience?
Everyone was new once. Everyone had a first time. Everyone made mistakes, had to adust their approach, develop good communication skills, work out how best to come across online and in person.
All that would be achieved by teaching people how to act and how best to boost their chances, would be a glut of carbon copy profiles, photos and messages.
Far better to be able to identify those with the right attitude, social skills and sense of perspective, based on what they choose to do and how they choose to act themselves.
Otherwise you're just hiding what could be important red flags. | |||
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"Or they could use the search button!" The problem with that is that it usually doesn't answer their question. There are numerous threads where people are told to search as this question gets asked every day etc. but all a search brings up are people saying "search as this question gets asked every day" | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward...
The onus should be on people to educate themselves, not be told by others.
What benefit is there to give 'cheat sheets' and walk through guides to people who, as grown adults, should be more than able to learn by experience?
Everyone was new once. Everyone had a first time. Everyone made mistakes, had to adust their approach, develop good communication skills, work out how best to come across online and in person.
All that would be achieved by teaching people how to act and how best to boost their chances, would be a glut of carbon copy profiles, photos and messages.
Far better to be able to identify those with the right attitude, social skills and sense of perspective, based on what they choose to do and how they choose to act themselves.
Otherwise you're just hiding what could be important red flags. "Oh behave, this is not just about profile coaching and definitely not about lying or misrepresenting. First Academy Lecture is going to be … Clubs, what are they, what to expect, how to join, when to go, behaviour and etiquette | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward..." Yet the site, forums, friends, strangers all offer advice Fabswingers is full of it. I want to be a bit more positive, help people avoid pitfalls and bad experiences | |||
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"I (Mr) think this is a great idea although I also suspect that some of those most in need of the advice (e.g. men with poor skills and attitudes, entitled couples and women etc) may be least likely to read it. A big part of their problem is that they don't think they have a problem. But good luck with the project OP "You can’t fix a personality and yes, there will be people who ignore the combined wisdom on offer. This is not for them. Clubs are going to be the first topic No exams, just positive vibes. Material from actual club owners, event organisers and experienced club goers for those who are considering attending a club or those that are hesitating | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward..." And thank you for the advice you are giving men on their profiles. My objective is to create a profile creating guide that will result in the Forum never having to provide individual advice again - I know… it’ll never happen but that’s the goal. | |||
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"Good idea and there should be a minimum amount of info required when you join irrespective if it's a free or supporter account. Profiles with no pics don't get access to silver or gold accounts. Just an idea "Honestly - I have enough material already to do a self published book on Amazon pitched at U.K. swingers | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward... And thank you for the advice you are giving men on their profiles. My objective is to create a profile creating guide that will result in the Forum never having to provide individual advice again - I know… it’ll never happen but that’s the goal. " Like a user guide …or instruction manual nobody ever reads right ? I truly cannot fathom the wind screen wipers in my new car .. now where is that manual ? | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward... And thank you for the advice you are giving men on their profiles. My objective is to create a profile creating guide that will result in the Forum never having to provide individual advice again - I know… it’ll never happen but that’s the goal. Like a user guide …or instruction manual nobody ever reads right ? I truly cannot fathom the wind screen wipers in my new car .. now where is that manual ? "Manuals are so 2020… YouTube Tutorials are where it’s at | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward... And thank you for the advice you are giving men on their profiles. My objective is to create a profile creating guide that will result in the Forum never having to provide individual advice again - I know… it’ll never happen but that’s the goal. Like a user guide …or instruction manual nobody ever reads right ? I truly cannot fathom the wind screen wipers in my new car .. now where is that manual ? "Can I interview you?  | |||
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"I’ve been thinking about doing a series of guides on this Fab forum about aspects of the Swinging Lifestyle based on various ‘expert’ sources and feedback from Couples, Singles, Club Owners and Party Organisers. Also inviting Guests and contributors to add helpful content too. Subjects like: * Clubs, what to expect, how to get in and how to have a positive experience as a single male, single female or couple * Guide to planning and taking part in the perfect threesome * Single Men profiles - the ultimate guide to making your Fab profile work for you * Mistakes that single men make that will ruin your chances in the LS according to Single women and couples * Attending House Parties, Hotel Takeovers and organised events * LS Terminology and Acronyms * LS socials - what are they and should I/ we go What do the Fab community think?" Great idea but it’s likely those that should read them still won’t. | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward... And thank you for the advice you are giving men on their profiles. My objective is to create a profile creating guide that will result in the Forum never having to provide individual advice again - I know… it’ll never happen but that’s the goal. Like a user guide …or instruction manual nobody ever reads right ? I truly cannot fathom the wind screen wipers in my new car .. now where is that manual ?
Can I interview you? "Yes … but only if you tell me how to operate my windscreen wipers first  | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward... And thank you for the advice you are giving men on their profiles. My objective is to create a profile creating guide that will result in the Forum never having to provide individual advice again - I know… it’ll never happen but that’s the goal. Like a user guide …or instruction manual nobody ever reads right ? I truly cannot fathom the wind screen wipers in my new car .. now where is that manual ?
Manuals are so 2020… YouTube Tutorials are where it’s at"I used good old YouTube to put my chain back on | |||
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"I (Mr) think this is a great idea although I also suspect that some of those most in need of the advice (e.g. men with poor skills and attitudes, entitled couples and women etc) may be least likely to read it. A big part of their problem is that they don't think they have a problem. But good luck with the project OP "This. We would support the idea, but it may pass those by who need it the most.  | |||
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"I (Mr) think this is a great idea although I also suspect that some of those most in need of the advice (e.g. men with poor skills and attitudes, entitled couples and women etc) may be least likely to read it. A big part of their problem is that they don't think they have a problem. But good luck with the project OP
This. We would support the idea, but it may pass those by who need it the most. "You’re right - we’ll never be able to help those lost causes - this is the Fab Academy, not the kindergarten | |||
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"If people need to be taught how to behave around other people it’s best if they aren’t given instructions on how to hide their lack of interpersonal skills. 100% this .... this scene needs to teach nobody anything because if they cant work it out for themselves then they are going to get nowhere not only that i like to see people for whom they really are not what they are advised ... also who says what you say is right ?? there is no rule book for swinging no rules on how to swing or the rights or wrongs all you need to swing is consent of the other person and thats it there no right way or wrong way ... if we start telling people how to behave then we will not see that person for the real them and for me seeing the real them is my filter to if i want to meet them or not .... leave them be to find out things themselves its the only way they will move forward..." ___ Totally agree with you and with Glowupdoll. Except, to me, there's one universal wrong, which is the failure to ask for consent that you rightly mentioned. And that's worth teaching. Sadly we still see that in clubs or parties, where people assume that because they are sharing a bed to play they can reach across and touch people that are not part of their play group without asking for permission. There's other subjects that are worth guiding people. Like what happens at parties. We were afraid to go to one for months and now that we organise them we find many couples with the same unfounded fears, mostly that they will be expected to play or dress down, while the majority of parties that's not happening. | |||
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