FabSwingers.com forum: Not hitting the 'mark'

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've had 3 meets now and how can I say it...despite the guys insistence that a good time would be had...it certainly wasn't on my part. Despite me showing them how to stimulate and arouse...these guys were hopeless. I don't want my fun sessions to become a biology lesson or an instructorial session. Am I doomed to meet guys who think they're amazing lovers but not or have I just been unlucky ? Help please !

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Let's hope you've chosen men with a few veris, about my age so they have experience, a well written profile that suggests that if they put time and effort into that, they might do the same with you, try going for a couple, whereas a lot of men just want sex, a couple might be more into a swinging lifestyle as it were. See what sort of messages you get...ignore the one liners, no matter what hunk appears to be sending them, be picky and choosy....good luck, we're not all takers, you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder if the 'hopeless' guys are reading this thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I thought I had chosen wisely...exactly as detailed. I chose verified older guys. Maybe Veris aren't worth the screen theyre written on.

thanks for the advice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is one consistent factor in each of the meets......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

which is ?

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth

Could it be that you're just not relaxed enough to enjoy yourself fully?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You may not be connecting with the guys. Sexual pleasure is about the mind as much as the body.

also one person's great in bed, may not be yours. Maybe though you are not getting what you want as nsa is different to other types of sex and I find needs more raw passion to be good.

Good luck.

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I found that I was not relaxed enough on some meets. But on the repeat because I was more relaxed and therefore more receptive had much more fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is one consistent factor in each of the meets......"

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I completely understand where she is coming from (or not, unfortunately!). I think, sometimes, when I have had a meet with good veris which has been a bit of a disappointment, that those who have written those veris have a very different idea of what is 'good' sex to what I think! Seriously there are people on here who are satisfied if they just get naked with someone else.

There's not much can be done about that but I would say if you don't 'click' with someone don't get naked. Say 'thanks, but no thanks'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forget about multiple meets.. Stick with one, more times you meet the easier it becomes also more relaxed and you'll soon be getting the good sex you require

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hi

You should hear what they said about you

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

Think it's all down to your instruction - Mark is fine - big X or arrow with a marker pen, twiddle, fondle, stroke, lick, slurp it, but never hit!

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Ive removed the last post - people dont need to have their profiles critiqued in the forum just because someone they are friends with has posted a thread

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

This thread probably says more about you than them to be honest......

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This thread probably says more about you than them to be honest......"

How so?

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"This thread probably says more about you than them to be honest......

How so?

3 meets on the bounce with people who haven't lived up to expectation is beyond coincidence/ bad luck. I'd go as far as saying a change in selection criteria or process is required.

But then, i hold myself to the standard that a bad meet is a failing on my part more so than anyone else.

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By *inkyScot22Man
over a year ago

Anniesland

Unfortunately, everyone's anatomy is slightly different so what works for one woman, or even a whole set of women, won't work for all, some guidance will almost always be required to hit the 'spot', so keep tying talk to your partner and moan (it's a great help for guys!)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This thread probably says more about you than them to be honest......

How so?

3 meets on the bounce with people who haven't lived up to expectation is beyond coincidence/ bad luck. I'd go as far as saying a change in selection criteria or process is required.

But then, i hold myself to the standard that a bad meet is a failing on my part more so than anyone else."

I understand.

I just feel a bit sorry for the guy in the verification

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

You have only been a member for 1 week but had 3 meets? Maybe its time to look at your selection process and maybe choose quality over quantity! Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As in a tango ...it takes two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I completely understand where she is coming from (or not, unfortunately!). I think, sometimes, when I have had a meet with good veris which has been a bit of a disappointment, that those who have written those veris have a very different idea of what is 'good' sex to what I think! Seriously there are people on here who are satisfied if they just get naked with someone else.

There's not much can be done about that but I would say if you don't 'click' with someone don't get naked. Say 'thanks, but no thanks'."

I would definitely agree there and I prefer not to take any notice of someone who says "look at my verifications" as I use them to see who they have met not whether they were good in bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As in a tango ...it takes two."

Too right it does, and as has been said by somebody else, 3 meets having been on the site for just a week, suggests the OP hasn't spent a lot of time chatting with the guys concerned.

Maybe a slight assumption but a lot of women wouldn't have had one meet after a week, as they're still chatting and getting to know guys!

Just my thoughts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a longshot expecting to get better sex with a relative stranger than with a regular partner.....

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"As in a tango ...it takes two.

Too right it does, and as has been said by somebody else, 3 meets having been on the site for just a week, suggests the OP hasn't spent a lot of time chatting with the guys concerned.

Maybe a slight assumption but a lot of women wouldn't have had one meet after a week, as they're still chatting and getting to know guys!

Just my thoughts!

You assume correct! I deleted my profile after 1 week as was inundated with messages never mind arranging 3 meets lol

But then, I am extremely cautious and very fussy, much to my detriment

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"As in a tango ...it takes two.

Too right it does, and as has been said by somebody else, 3 meets having been on the site for just a week, suggests the OP hasn't spent a lot of time chatting with the guys concerned.

Maybe a slight assumption but a lot of women wouldn't have had one meet after a week, as they're still chatting and getting to know guys!

Just my thoughts!

So by that reasoning a woman couldn't expect to have good sex with a guy she's just met at a club?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" But then, I am extremely cautious and very fussy, much to my detriment

Why should being cautious and fussy be to your detriment?

IMHO, any guy who's not prepared to take it slow, if that's what the lady wants, doesn't deserve to get anywhere with the lady! And at the very least, you've less chance of experiencing the OP's issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" So by that reasoning a woman couldn't expect to have good sex with a guy she's just met at a club? "

I'm well aware that there are plenty of folk who enjoy clubs, that's their choice. Personally though, they're not for me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

" So by that reasoning a woman couldn't expect to have good sex with a guy she's just met at a club?

I'm well aware that there are plenty of folk who enjoy clubs, that's their choice. Personally though, they're not for me."

I understand that but this lady might like quick one off meets, if she does and plenty of women do I guess that they must be enjoyable or at least have the potential to be.

I like to get to know someone first too but I get that some people don't too.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

So by that reasoning a woman couldn't expect to have good sex with a guy she's just met at a club? "

not at all... however if it went wrong you wouldn't complain to the club....

there is a common factor here, and we always say if an approach isn't working.. change it! and maybe for this person... maybe getting to know potential playmates better is one of them...

not saying that is for all cases.... which is why some deal with clubs better...

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

you gotta kiss lots of fogs before you find your prince

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By *avindaWoman
over a year ago

North Wales

The first meet should be exciting. The attraction that creates the spark. The second meet, if it happens, allows you to discover more and build on what you started. It it's not working then walk away.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I don't understand the OP, the veri she left says she had a great time so what's the problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand the OP, the veri she left says she had a great time so what's the problem?"

Almost always 2 sides to a story!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't understand the OP, the veri she left says she had a great time so what's the problem?"

Even if a meet I've had wasn't earth shatteringly, mind blowingly good, I still leave a nice verification, if they leave ne one. If it was really bad I tend to message the person directly politely explaining I won't be meeting them again and if no veri received from them, I don't write one back.

I don't put a lot in veris to be honest as what works for one doesn't always work for someone else.

OP as others have said look to what you are doing that makes the meets unsatisfying, not what the guys are doing as you're the only person that was at all three meets xx

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

If a single guy said this and he had only been here a week he would have been slated.....

Verification was left to say he will satisfy....Really? Because according to OP she wasnt anywhere near satisfied!?!

I hope none of the men she met read this....

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

why lie on the verification that he left you very well satisfied ?? its people like you who spoil it for others hope the poor guy does not read this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread probably says more about you than them to be honest......

How so?

I like to think I am in many way very intuitive, and some ladies dont seem to be able to relax and just go with the flow- socially as well as sexually. It strikes me that it the ones who are relaxed, able to maintain eye contact, comfortable silence etc, that get the real good sex and orgasm, remember sex is a two way thing !!!!!!!!

SO PUTTING IT ALL THE MEN WHO YOU HAVE MET ISN'T REALLY FAIR - IS IT ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that you've had a few not so good meets, I always chat get to know the people I'm going to meet and I've not had any that have not been lots of fun n great sex,

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Ive removed posts - copying sections from other peoples profiles when theyve had absolutely nothing to do with the discussion isnt fair on them.

Think its time to leave it now.

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