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"I do enjoy a little bit of kink, but more the sensual play (pinwheel, fluffy flogger to stroke me with and drape over me, my spikey gloves) than impact play or bondage. I often incorporate the sensual play when I'm in clubs and do enjoy dungeon areas in some clubs, particularly Chameleons Darlaston and Penthouse Playrooms." Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. | |||
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"We are into both We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than exploring on here The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet " Well….hello!! But we can’t message you! ?? | |||
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"I used to meet a guy who took me to various places to be used by a few guys. One memorable day he took me in his car, stopped down a lane made me get out the car, strip naked, get back in the car, drive a short distance to a house, put on a blindfold, the front door was opened, I was walked completely naked into the house, led to a bench, tied to the bench and fucked and played with wands in different areas of the house, while being filmed. Once all the guys had cum on me, I was taken into the kitchen, blindfold off and saw the 5 guys drinking tea and chatting. From being used and fucked we spent a pleasant hour having tea and biscuits and chatting, one then ask if could watch me having a shower. Dressed then back to my car, home and show Paul the video and photos. Can't think of a better way to spend a day. " Now that's a great idea! | |||
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"We do I the Mrs prefers the bdsm side Mr prefers the soft sexual side " I do like a bit of both it's a good work out lol ?? | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! " We are the same, started SM play 20 plus years ago, a D/s scenario works well for us although she has also switched over the last few years. Swinging really got going 10 years ago but it’s rare for the two worlds to come together. Have often found women who want me to initiate them and she sub guys who want fem dom. Always on the lookout for experienced fet/swing couples but these are as rare as unicorns. | |||
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore " Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet…. You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment. Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets. | |||
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore " I’d second finding a munch….or happy to chat via DM if you’d rather to point you in right direction. | |||
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet…. You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment. Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets." I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate | |||
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet…. You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment. Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets. I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate " I agree. I don’t really know what its purpose is. Hard to navigate and not sure if contact is meant to be made | |||
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet…. You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment. Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets. I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate I agree. I don’t really know what its purpose is. Hard to navigate and not sure if contact is meant to be made " Use it for the events listings - it’s not really a pickup site (although obviously it can be). It’s useful to add people you’ve met as ‘friends’ then you can see who’s going to what. | |||
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"I do enjoy a little bit of kink, but more the sensual play (pinwheel, fluffy flogger to stroke me with and drape over me, my spikey gloves) than impact play or bondage. I often incorporate the sensual play when I'm in clubs and do enjoy dungeon areas in some clubs, particularly Chameleons Darlaston and Penthouse Playrooms. Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. " I'm going to Chams on the 4th, with my FWB, who is the only person allowed to spank me . We will be surely using the dungeon areas there | |||
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" I'm going to Chams on the 4th, with my FWB, who is the only person allowed to spank me . We will be surely using the dungeon areas there " Ahhh we are probably going on the 1st July! Hope you have a lovely time…and I’m sure we will see each other at some point. | |||
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" Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. " The KT parties at Penthouse are pretty kinky | |||
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" Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. The KT parties at Penthouse are pretty kinky " We are looking forward to it….the girls fancy some strap on fun while we use various hitty things…..just got to work out when we can all get there. | |||
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"Be interested to hear other opinions and experiences, but we started and remain mostly in the kink scene. We have dipped our toes into clubs that are primarily swingers, and found that the approach to consent seemed quite different. In kinkland, generally the expectation is that no decisions about what to do and with who, are made "on the spot"/"in the heat of the moment". That didn't seem to be the case in the swinging clubs we tried, and it made us quite uncomfortable to have to keep saying "no" to randoms whilst engaged in sexytime. Those randoms did (with one notable exception) always pay attention, so this isn't about consent violation - more about the approach being different, if that makes sense." We’ve been in the kink scene for 20 odd years but recently found that fet clubs aren’t what they used to be. I think it’s just a different etiquette….we’ve had some bad experiences recently at fet clubs with people chatting in dungeon spaces and encroaching on play space….weve actually had less issues using dungeon spaces in swing clubs We have found single men to be slightly more pushy at swing clubs but a firm “no” works…and decent club owners want to keep couples and women happy so are quick to keep bad behaviour in check. | |||
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"Be interested to hear other opinions and experiences, but we started and remain mostly in the kink scene. We have dipped our toes into clubs that are primarily swingers, and found that the approach to consent seemed quite different. In kinkland, generally the expectation is that no decisions about what to do and with who, are made "on the spot"/"in the heat of the moment". ... We’ve been in the kink scene for 20 odd years but recently found that fet clubs aren’t what they used to be. I think it’s just a different etiquette….we’ve had some bad experiences recently at fet clubs with people chatting in dungeon spaces and encroaching on play space….weve actually had less issues using dungeon spaces in swing clubs We have found single men to be slightly more pushy at swing clubs but a firm “no” works…and decent club owners want to keep couples and women happy so are quick to keep bad behaviour in check. " Yeah, absolutely - there are bad actors in both scenes, it's more that the expected etiquette/protocols are different. It's a matter of taste, but we prefer to agree who is involved (and exactly what is OK) before hand so we don't have to juggle that during play. | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! " Week combine swingers into some of our BDSM scenes. Cnc is our main kink | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! Week combine swingers into some of our BDSM scenes. Cnc is our main kink " I’m into cnc also | |||
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"I'm in a BDSM relationship. We met at a munch and we practice kink and have a pretty much constant dynamic going on whether it's him being subby and me Dominant, or the other way around. Lucky to have met and fallen for a Switch like me. I love Fet but sometimes find at a community level quite chaste. So I'm on Fab to compliment my BDSM lifestyle. Not really interested in vanilla piv sex. It's boring compared to what we can and have done. Electro, Impact, sensory, bondage, dynamics, age play, breath play, and more recently CNC" You sound like our sort of people! Agree with the comments about Fet. It can be toxic when you fall out with the wrong people! We actually now find swing clubs are more welcoming places a lot of the time with people more ready to chat and welcome you. | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! " Love many aspects of BDSM, impact play, restraints to name a couple. Not on Fet and have yet to find a good event to attend. | |||
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"We are into both We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than exploring on here The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet " The pillory/wand combo in the garden looks a huge amount of fun! | |||
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"We are into both We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than exploring on here The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet The pillory/wand combo in the garden looks a huge amount of fun!" Haha think about the neighbours ours would die of shock from old age lmao | |||
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" Might see you at either….us and a couple we play with from the fet scene are thinking of a trip to penthouse to play together and we are now going to Chams. The KT parties at Penthouse are pretty kinky " That camping trip must have been amazing! | |||
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"Some great kink events at a club in the NW.... they have crossover events too with a great mix of kinky and swingy " Mmmm, that scene in the woods is hot! | |||
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"We are into both We been in BDSM community and lifestyle for much longer than exploring on here The chance to combine both is a thrill but have t found a couple who wants to try it yet The pillory/wand combo in the garden looks a huge amount of fun! Haha think about the neighbours ours would die of shock from old age lmao " I can imagine a few funny looks over the fence | |||
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"I don’t think it’s so much keeping them separate I think more that you need a great connection for anything kink related and that takes time and I’m not always sure people want to give that " Exactly this! That's why so many have never lived what they seem to dream or wish for.. they are unwilling to earn it | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex " It is hugely frustrating that kink related pictures and videos get taken down. I think it is more in relation to poorly thought out obscenity laws than the choice of Fab itself, but it is still annoying, especially when those sort of images help you find folks with similar kinks to your own. | |||
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"I used to go to a German BDSM club back in 1983 My gosh it was bloody good " When you were 13? | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex " We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. " We had issues with one which was denied because it showed a knife….explained it was a wooden wax scraper and not an offensive weapon and was reinstated. | |||
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"Oh no.. not me.. completely vanilla... " You hide it well | |||
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"I used to go to a German BDSM club back in 1983 My gosh it was bloody good When you were 13? " Sounds like a Freud. Too Jung for all this. | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. " We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent. | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent." However innocent a mistake, photos must only contain people | |||
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"I've long-term interest but finding the right man, with sexual connection and complementary interests, notwithstanding the safety aspects, is something I find hard " This is my exact dilemma | |||
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"I've long-term interest but finding the right man, with sexual connection and complementary interests, notwithstanding the safety aspects, is something I find hard This is my exact dilemma " It's difficult finding a sub as well | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! " we often mix them. In fact our flogger gets more attention sometimes than we do. Xx | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent. However innocent a mistake, photos must only contain people " We agree and understand that nuance is a difficult thing But we have a puppy He darts about everywhere …cos he is a puppy The amount of perfectly acceptable pictures we have that his tail or face is somewhere in the back ground Becuase we have taken the picture outside or because he is in his crate but you can see The crate in the tiniest fraction of the back ground Seems a bit OTT that they get rejected | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent. However innocent a mistake, photos must only contain people We agree and understand that nuance is a difficult thing But we have a puppy He darts about everywhere …cos he is a puppy The amount of perfectly acceptable pictures we have that his tail or face is somewhere in the back ground Becuase we have taken the picture outside or because he is in his crate but you can see The crate in the tiniest fraction of the back ground Seems a bit OTT that they get rejected " You can edit pictures | |||
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"NOT A KNOCK on Fab , but fab is not particularly kink supportive We had a few pictures of kinky play And when We posted in the site feedback Forum asking for kink related photo categories to tag They obviously took an interest in our profile and rejected 3 of our pictures that have been up for weeks and fabbed Many times We get it’s a swing site not a specific kink site But kinky sex is still sex We had all our kink pictures refused or taken down…..yet some others have them left up. It’s very annoying because it’s how we are….its part of us. We had a picture refused which showed the missus lying tied (Shibari) and in the background a kitten was playing with some ropes. People and animals together not allowed I guess, no matter how innocent." Crop the photo unless that was your original intention to have an animal showing | |||
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"I found on the other site lots of people are too far away to actually meet. But if people are a bit kinky i’m more likely to interact. The problem is when other people ask what i really like " What do you really like? | |||
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"We’re just starting out, would love to meet someone with a bit of experience to show us the ropes " Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet | |||
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"We’re just starting out, would love to meet someone with a bit of experience to show us the ropes Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet" Thanks, will look out for next one x | |||
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" Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet" sounds interesting. Is it a crossover event with swingery type behaviour as well as kink or still mainly kink? | |||
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" Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet sounds interesting. Is it a crossover event with swingery type behaviour as well as kink or still mainly kink?" Yes it’s a cross over, normally every three months with a theme, last one was pirates in April, they skipped the July one as too busy to give the event they want to. So the next one is October. Near Halloween. | |||
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" Look out for the Entice Event at Xstasia, really friendly event where you can find out lots about kink/fet sounds interesting. Is it a crossover event with swingery type behaviour as well as kink or still mainly kink? Yes it’s a cross over, normally every three months with a theme, last one was pirates in April, they skipped the July one as too busy to give the event they want to. So the next one is October. Near Halloween." Last event forum https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/events/1595751 | |||
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"We enjoy BDSM and we are swingers. Our kink tends to be something we tend to do together and not involve others. It quite personal and powerful. However we don't see them as necessary divisible and we sometimes do elements with others. Depends on the people and the space. We just do what we want and feels good. We don't really enjoy the fet scene. It can be a bit sort of portentous and odd if you know what I mean? Also there seems a bit of stigma around being swingers on the fet scene. A while back we met a bunch called SWINK at the BBB. It was nice to see some freindly faces and attitudes towards swinging on the fet scene. " So E was inexperienced in D/s , when we met I have been guiding and mentoring her for years And we saw “ swing people “ at some clubs Then she said I’ve found a local “ SWINK “ social I literally told her she was wrong Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM Well to my surprise It was E that was right Swink ,, its niche . But it does in small pockets exist The Fet scene can be fairly clique-y and there is deffo a level of stigma in those communities about being into swing It is only fair to acknowledge that a shit ton of swing people judge the hell out of us because I sometimes tie her up and flog her They react like it’s domestic violence Not to mention Fab itself rejects multiple of our pics and videos that we would post Because our sex is often kinky sex So the judgement absolutely goes both ways More swink acceptance from both communities would be the ideal answer but we may be further away from that than we would like | |||
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"...Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM" I know it's a generalisation, but there is some truth in it. But then there's also quite a lot of subsets in each community that don't understand each other. Tolerance isn't a really a universal in either community sadly. | |||
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"I'm trying to be but not been able to find a single man I'm compatible with the explore Perhaps you should explore a particular kink site, we are not allowed to mention on here, which begins with Fet…. You’ll find that they list social events near you called munches. Completely vanilla, often in pubs where you’re able to chat etc in a completely safe environment. Trust is important in any potential bdsm play meets. I'm on there but find it very difficult to navigate " It is a bit difficult to navigate but we attended the Chester munch in a pub on Thursday evening. It was nice to chat to others. Get to as many socials, parties etc as possible. One thing we have found is you have to put yourself in as many places as possible. Like most things in life. You have to be in 99 wrong places at the wrong time to be in that 1 right place at the right time. It's great fun. | |||
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"...Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM I know it's a generalisation, but there is some truth in it. But then there's also quite a lot of subsets in each community that don't understand each other. Tolerance isn't a really a universal in either community sadly. " Can’t relate | |||
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"...Kink people don’t / won’t tolerate swing And swing people don’t understand or like BDSM I know it's a generalisation, but there is some truth in it. But then there's also quite a lot of subsets in each community that don't understand each other. Tolerance isn't a really a universal in either community sadly. Can’t relate " 100% can relate … our curiosity of swing is not tolerated on Fet sites Our natural D/s Dynamic often is either over looked / ignored or out right judged by people on fab We get that each camp understands itself not necessarily have understanding the other , but. given tolerance and understanding is a kind of byword , given construct ,,,, everyone preaches On both sides Try saying your in a D/s dynamic on a swing site Or That you engineer swing into your sex on a fetish site The commonality is BOTH have no tolerance For the bit they vibe with Just our experience lately | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! " We go to VA which has a dungeon and we also want to try Hellfire xx | |||
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"I would like to take the advanced levels communication for negotiation, emphasis on validating needs and respecting consent as well as aftercare from BDSM, and smoosh it together with the social friendliness and curious openness of swing. There's judgement on both sides. And yet, we can clearly see a demographic who like both. The clubs market theme nights for both. I'm surprised there is no Swinksters type alternative to both. Or maybe there is but I haven't come across it. " Try searching online for Swinky Life, which is meant to be a link between swinging and kink by U.S.podcasters "The Accidental Swingers". They talk about it in one of their podcasts as an offshoot project after their introduction to kink. | |||
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"I would like to take the advanced levels communication for negotiation, emphasis on validating needs and respecting consent as well as aftercare from BDSM, and smoosh it together with the social friendliness and curious openness of swing. There's judgement on both sides. And yet, we can clearly see a demographic who like both. The clubs market theme nights for both. I'm surprised there is no Swinksters type alternative to both. Or maybe there is but I haven't come across it. Try searching online for Swinky Life, which is meant to be a link between swinging and kink by U.S.podcasters "The Accidental Swingers". They talk about it in one of their podcasts as an offshoot project after their introduction to kink. " Thank you! I love a good podcast. | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! " Into both, I am actually organising some gangbangs with non vanilla participants, breath play, impact, bondage, ff, etc. Used Quest they have a little dungeon room, and I used Empire cinema for a 60/2 gangbang. | |||
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"...This is successful because arousal is a safe practice and not edge play and therefore can be opened up to others to join in. Whereas a classic BDSM scene or play whether physical or mental is inherently dangerous and therefore is closely negotiated and is not opened up to others as it would not be safe to do so." We'd disagree with this - if by "arousal", you mean sexual contact, then this has just as much potential to cause harm as kink/BDSM activities. Sexual assault and unintentional consent violations do not require any form of BDSM to be happening in order to occur. The issue is that there are different expectations of what the "default" level of consent is going in to events run by different communities. For example, in a swingers club, men standing and silently watching others play are considered a nuisance, not a consent violation, because there is consensus that this is expected (if annoying) behaviour in swinging clubs. Most BDSM clubs we know of would consider this a consent violation and act very firmly to stop it, because this is NOT expected behaviour, and people attending have not consented by default to it by attending the event. | |||
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"...This is successful because arousal is a safe practice and not edge play and therefore can be opened up to others to join in. Whereas a classic BDSM scene or play whether physical or mental is inherently dangerous and therefore is closely negotiated and is not opened up to others as it would not be safe to do so. We'd disagree with this - if by "arousal", you mean sexual contact, then this has just as much potential to cause harm as kink/BDSM activities. Sexual assault and unintentional consent violations do not require any form of BDSM to be happening in order to occur. The issue is that there are different expectations of what the "default" level of consent is going in to events run by different communities. For example, in a swingers club, men standing and silently watching others play are considered a nuisance, not a consent violation, because there is consensus that this is expected (if annoying) behaviour in swinging clubs. Most BDSM clubs we know of would consider this a consent violation and act very firmly to stop it, because this is NOT expected behaviour, and people attending have not consented by default to it by attending the event. " As I said at the top of my post, people may take a different view, thank you for your contribution. However for clarity I was referring to consensual activity between the parties for both BDSM and swinging. When I mentioned "arousal" I was referring consensual sexual activity between the parties. Non-consensual activity in either swinging or BDSM is unacceptable and I was not addressing that. I suspect from the threads on this site, swingers see the wanking dead as consent violations as it is largely non consensual. Which is the difference between classic as swinger clubs tolerate the behaviour. | |||
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"We definitely cross into both BDSM and swinging...know it is not for everyone, but works for us" We are very much the same we love mixing things up to keep our relationship fresh x | |||
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"We were into BDSM before we got onto the swing scene as well…just wondering who else enjoys both and maybe combines them when at a suitable venue…we know some keep them separate! " I'm into both and have combined them at clubs like Jaydees. I'm also hoping there's some BDSM action at Sauna Sauna tomorrow and would be more than happy to be the subject if any visiting Dom/mes require one on the St. Andrews cross. I'll also be at the HU9 event in Hull on 8th August. I'm also on a Fetish site (I don't think we're allowed to mention it by name on here) as BarnsleyBi-Guy so if you work out which one it is please do message me should you wish either on her, on there, or both. | |||
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"Can anyone recommend the best way to venture into the BDSM world?" It's a minefield, so many self-proclaimed experts. I would say that the best way is initialy to look at a munch, which is generally a get together organised in a pub, often a side room, but still a public area. The objective is a pressure free meeting where there won't be any play, but just a general chat with people of a similar mind. From there you can strike up conversations, meet people for later play, get recommendations etc. However, before all that, try to work out what you want to get out of it. What are your limits etc. Without a clear idea of that you can end up going down a route that you regret. Feel free to reach out if I can be any more help. | |||
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"Can anyone recommend the best way to venture into the BDSM world? It's something I've wanted to explore for a very very very long time but not seem to be able to find a partner to build up the trust with in order to fully let myself go (most men want to be able to do certain things straight away which doesn't work for me) " And that's not BDSM that's TV non reality..but good luck when you do find it..it's blissful | |||
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"Can anyone recommend the best way to venture into the BDSM world? It's a minefield, so many self-proclaimed experts. I would say that the best way is initialy to look at a munch, which is generally a get together organised in a pub, often a side room, but still a public area. The objective is a pressure free meeting where there won't be any play, but just a general chat with people of a similar mind. From there you can strike up conversations, meet people for later play, get recommendations etc. However, before all that, try to work out what you want to get out of it. What are your limits etc. Without a clear idea of that you can end up going down a route that you regret. Feel free to reach out if I can be any more help." I have an idea or what I want to explore but just struggling to find the right person. I am FL but find it really difficult to navigate as I've mentioned above and the munches seem to be a group of people who already know each other and not really open for newbies/strangers | |||
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"...I am FL but find it really difficult to navigate as I've mentioned above and the munches seem to be a group of people who already know each other and not really open for newbies/strangers" Yes, it's one of the worst designed websites I know of. Many people at munches do know each other, but the good ones have a member who's role is to welcome newbies. If they don't then probably one to avoid. To be honest, it's a bit like most groups/activities e.g. cycling clubs, they can get very insular. | |||
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"...I am FL but find it really difficult to navigate as I've mentioned above and the munches seem to be a group of people who already know each other and not really open for newbies/strangers Yes, it's one of the worst designed websites I know of. Many people at munches do know each other, but the good ones have a member who's role is to welcome newbies. If they don't then probably one to avoid. To be honest, it's a bit like most groups/activities e.g. cycling clubs, they can get very insular." That's our experience too. The host makes or breaks it. | |||
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