FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

A month in what I have learnt so far

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So i have had a fab (no pun intended) month and decided that I want to share a couple of things that may help others stop getting so frustrated with the site.

1) you won't be everyones cup of tea (or coffee for that matter)

Don't take it personally do a few pics and a profile make the real you? No it's an image you project and if it doesn't work? Change it (nb two lines n a cock shot? Face palm automatic fail start again, once more with the feeling)

2) gonna get a lot of deletes

It comes with the territory, couples and single females get loads of messages so sometimes delete with out replying or even reading but again its not personal you may not float there boat or they may not be meeting anyone new, don't jump to conclusions, a old phrase springs to mind 'for every 100 no's theres a yes' persavere and you will get there (just don't pester non means no)

3) suggest a social meet first.

Yes we are all here for the same thing, however, seeing someone in the flesh is different to a photo and someone could change there mind, so a social meet makes sure there is a spark and also swinging is a very social activity so shows your not some random desperate after nookie!

4) make an effort!

Be it making sure your washed shaved well dressed for a meet, your profile or your first message to someone a little effort goes along way with messages for example if your stumped juat say who you are what you are looking for and why you text them, fancy a fuck may be quicker and to the point but won't get many (if any) responces

5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

Even if she is a sub the woman haa final veto over everything, accept and respect here wishes at all times on a meet you should be fine.

6) relax

The most important one, swinging isn't a competition, so one guy has a bigger dick than you (its quality not quantity), after a meet your worried if you were good.

Relax and go with the flow, concentrate on being yourself and having fun, swinging can be nerve wrenching first time in a club swear I had a panic attack, but then I realised I was trying to hard and went with the flow and had a great time.

Anyhow I hope that helps some people and gives them a fresh perspective (I know that some will think I am presumptuous but hey can't please all the people all the time.).

Anyway happy awinging folks and maybe I will meet and play with some of you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wise words.

Also remember that every couple has a totally separate set of rules (which they often assume are obvious but aren't).

"Relax and go with the flow" is a great rule for life as well as fab!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said

I especially like number 5!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very well put , thankyou x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

You have learnt well

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it helps to smile as you type, could this be added as well. It may sound daft but i am sure it comes across through your language.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"

1) you won't be everyones cup of tea (or coffee for that matter)

2) gonna get a lot of deletes

3) suggest a social meet first.

4) make an effort!

5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

6) relax and go with the flow

"

Recipe for success

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

1) you won't be everyones cup of tea (or coffee for that matter)

2) gonna get a lot of deletes

3) suggest a social meet first.

4) make an effort!

5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

6) relax and go with the flow

Recipe for success "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks


"

1) you won't be everyones cup of tea (or coffee for that matter)

2) gonna get a lot of deletes

3) suggest a social meet first.

4) make an effort!

5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

6) relax and go with the flow

Recipe for success

"
Well put I hope u have great times on here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *wickers1Couple
over a year ago

Hounslow

It would be lovely if everyone read this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said ash, I think you should post this on every forum???

Contact a mod and ask them as its great info

C and D x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lleyCat1969Man
over a year ago

Folkestone


"So i have had a fab (no pun intended) month and decided that I want to share a couple of things that may help others stop getting so frustrated with the site.

1) you won't be everyones cup of tea (or coffee for that matter)

Don't take it personally do a few pics and a profile make the real you? No it's an image you project and if it doesn't work? Change it (nb two lines n a cock shot? Face palm automatic fail start again, once more with the feeling)

2) gonna get a lot of deletes

It comes with the territory, couples and single females get loads of messages so sometimes delete with out replying or even reading but again its not personal you may not float there boat or they may not be meeting anyone new, don't jump to conclusions, a old phrase springs to mind 'for every 100 no's theres a yes' persavere and you will get there (just don't pester non means no)

3) suggest a social meet first.

Yes we are all here for the same thing, however, seeing someone in the flesh is different to a photo and someone could change there mind, so a social meet makes sure there is a spark and also swinging is a very social activity so shows your not some random desperate after nookie!

4) make an effort!

Be it making sure your washed shaved well dressed for a meet, your profile or your first message to someone a little effort goes along way with messages for example if your stumped juat say who you are what you are looking for and why you text them, fancy a fuck may be quicker and to the point but won't get many (if any) responces

5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

Even if she is a sub the woman haa final veto over everything, accept and respect here wishes at all times on a meet you should be fine.

6) relax

The most important one, swinging isn't a competition, so one guy has a bigger dick than you (its quality not quantity), after a meet your worried if you were good.

Relax and go with the flow, concentrate on being yourself and having fun, swinging can be nerve wrenching first time in a club swear I had a panic attack, but then I realised I was trying to hard and went with the flow and had a great time.

Anyhow I hope that helps some people and gives them a fresh perspective (I know that some will think I am presumptuous but hey can't please all the people all the time.).

Anyway happy awinging folks and maybe I will meet and play with some of you"

All excellent advice. Should be sent to every new male member (pun intended) in an email.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

And at least 3 meets in a month...

See it can be done!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"So i have had a fab (no pun intended) month and decided that I want to share a couple of things that may help others stop getting so frustrated with the site.

1) you won't be everyones cup of tea (or coffee for that matter)

Don't take it personally do a few pics and a profile make the real you? No it's an image you project and if it doesn't work? Change it (nb two lines n a cock shot? Face palm automatic fail start again, once more with the feeling)

2) gonna get a lot of deletes

It comes with the territory, couples and single females get loads of messages so sometimes delete with out replying or even reading but again its not personal you may not float there boat or they may not be meeting anyone new, don't jump to conclusions, a old phrase springs to mind 'for every 100 no's theres a yes' persavere and you will get there (just don't pester non means no)

3) suggest a social meet first.

Yes we are all here for the same thing, however, seeing someone in the flesh is different to a photo and someone could change there mind, so a social meet makes sure there is a spark and also swinging is a very social activity so shows your not some random desperate after nookie!

4) make an effort!

Be it making sure your washed shaved well dressed for a meet, your profile or your first message to someone a little effort goes along way with messages for example if your stumped juat say who you are what you are looking for and why you text them, fancy a fuck may be quicker and to the point but won't get many (if any) responces

5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

Even if she is a sub the woman haa final veto over everything, accept and respect here wishes at all times on a meet you should be fine.

6) relax

The most important one, swinging isn't a competition, so one guy has a bigger dick than you (its quality not quantity), after a meet your worried if you were good.

Relax and go with the flow, concentrate on being yourself and having fun, swinging can be nerve wrenching first time in a club swear I had a panic attack, but then I realised I was trying to hard and went with the flow and had a great time.

Anyhow I hope that helps some people and gives them a fresh perspective (I know that some will think I am presumptuous but hey can't please all the people all the time.).

Anyway happy awinging folks and maybe I will meet and play with some of you"

... and it helps if you're kinda cute

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

... and it helps if you're kinda cute "

Now that thought did cross my mind but I didnt want to appear to be such a shameless hussy !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"

... and it helps if you're kinda cute

Now that thought did cross my mind but I didnt want to appear to be such a shameless hussy !

"

Damn! I've been rumbled!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest


"

Damn! I've been rumbled!! "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thanks for all all great comments, means alot thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

Even if she is a sub the woman haa final veto over everything, accept and respect here wishes at all times on a meet you should be fine.

"

total and utter bullshit.

two (or more) adults meet, have a drink and a natter, see if they ALL want to fuck.

NO fucker is in charge, or has an ace card, or has more leverage than the other one.

You want a real top tip, don't be a mangina, more women want a man than want a milquetoast

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

Even if she is a sub the woman haa final veto over everything, accept and respect here wishes at all times on a meet you should be fine.

total and utter bullshit.

two (or more) adults meet, have a drink and a natter, see if they ALL want to fuck.

NO fucker is in charge, or has an ace card, or has more leverage than the other one.

You want a real top tip, don't be a mangina, more women want a man than want a milquetoast"

Of course the woman is in charge! No matter how much the 2 guys in a potential mmf want threesome sex, if the woman says no, the it ends right there.

She has the vagina - that, my friend, is leverage, like it or not.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"And at least 3 meets in a month...

See it can be done! "

Patience no?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"

Of course the woman is in charge! No matter how much the 2 guys in a potential mmf want threesome sex, if the woman says no, the it ends right there.

She has the vagina - that, my friend, is leverage, like it or not."

Bullshit, I have the cock, if I say no it ends right there.

NOBODY has any leverage over anyone else.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I read your profile and see wherevyou are coming from, but disagree, however as forums are for debate it's good to get a opposite opinion too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha, greasy arselicking and they fall for it. Nice one kid, tha's got it sussed It's like playing with sexual plasticine on here, yet not many others have worked it out yet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"

Of course the woman is in charge! No matter how much the 2 guys in a potential mmf want threesome sex, if the woman says no, the it ends right there.

She has the vagina - that, my friend, is leverage, like it or not.

Bullshit, I have the cock, if I say no it ends right there.

NOBODY has any leverage over anyone else."

On a site where single men vastly outnumber available women, I think you'll find many disagree with your comment.

In an ideal world, your premise would, of course, be correct.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Of course the woman is in charge! No matter how much the 2 guys in a potential mmf want threesome sex, if the woman says no, the it ends right there.

She has the vagina - that, my friend, is leverage, like it or not.

Bullshit, I have the cock, if I say no it ends right there.

NOBODY has any leverage over anyone else.

On a site where single men vastly outnumber available women, I think you'll find many disagree with your comment.

In an ideal world, your premise would, of course, be correct. "

Yes but most of the men on here are pretty thick and tactless, which levels the playing field somewhat. Put it this way, I've always felt pretty much in control and found it incredibly easy to do so. It's just a good job that I'm not in any shape or form, a controlling person but I'm sure there are ones out there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Just to play devil's advocate......

Single men may outnumber other groups on here, but, RELIABLE single males probably pale in comparison to that number. Assuming you believe every thread dedicated to moaning about the conduct of single males on here.

So Mr Dick Turpin has a point to a degree.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"Just to play devil's advocate......

Single men may outnumber other groups on here, but, RELIABLE single males probably pale in comparison to that number. Assuming you believe every thread dedicated to moaning about the conduct of single males on here.

So Mr Dick Turpin has a point to a degree.

"

to be logical the demographics make no difference, there can be 999 other guys and 1 woman, or 1 to 1 ratio, or 1000 women to each guy.

Each individual, irrespective of sex / age / race / creed, holds a personal veto that NOBODY else can either influence or control.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to play devil's advocate......

Single men may outnumber other groups on here, but, RELIABLE single males probably pale in comparison to that number. Assuming you believe every thread dedicated to moaning about the conduct of single males on here.

So Mr Dick Turpin has a point to a degree.

"

Correct, people tend to just look at numbers which mean nowt in real terms

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just to play devil's advocate......

Single men may outnumber other groups on here, but, RELIABLE single males probably pale in comparison to that number. Assuming you believe every thread dedicated to moaning about the conduct of single males on here.

So Mr Dick Turpin has a point to a degree.

to be logical the demographics make no difference, there can be 999 other guys and 1 woman, or 1 to 1 ratio, or 1000 women to each guy.

Each individual, irrespective of sex / age / race / creed, holds a personal veto that NOBODY else can either influence or control."

Unless they are gullible that is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eal_Dick_TurpinMan
over a year ago

Exeter


"

Unless they are gullible that is"

Ah, you mean voters...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

actually... up to a point dick and shadow are right...

at the point where you decide to meet someone, no one has any leverage over anyone...

if I am not happy at any point, the meet ends... same as if it is the woman in a couple... same as it is if it were the man of the couple....

and as the others have said, if you are meeting, you have to impress me as much as I have to impress you....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *un_JuiceCouple
over a year ago

Nr Chester


"5) the woman is ALWAYS in charge

Even if she is a sub the woman haa final veto over everything, accept and respect here wishes at all times on a meet you should be fine.

total and utter bullshit.

two (or more) adults meet, have a drink and a natter, see if they ALL want to fuck.

NO fucker is in charge, or has an ace card, or has more leverage than the other one.

"

Strongly agree with this, we both feel the same and also with Fabios point that us guys also look to be wooed and encouraged ... Some think they just need to turn up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We also disagree with number 5.

We've had meets where Diane didn't want to play and that's it, likewise we've had meets where she did but Martin decided against and again we didn't play. It's got to be about what everyone wants for it to be fun xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis


"Just to play devil's advocate......

Single men may outnumber other groups on here, but, RELIABLE single males probably pale in comparison to that number. Assuming you believe every thread dedicated to moaning about the conduct of single males on here.

So Mr Dick Turpin has a point to a degree.

"

Put that way, I agree with you! I also agree with other posters that everyone can and must feel free to say No!

In my opinion, there is a good and a bad way of putting your opinion across to a large community such as the one on this site.

Mr Blackshaddow has it right, no shouting, no invective - just a clear statement of one's point of view

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"

... and it helps if you're kinda cute

Now that thought did cross my mind but I didnt want to appear to be such a shameless hussy !

since when? lol..x

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would add these...

Don't take things too seriously

Learn to spell correctly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top