FabSwingers.com forum: Help!! Confidence..

By *eauty.thebeast OP Couple
30 weeks ago

Near Bath

Hey ?? female chatting here ??

So we have dipped in and out for 3 years now. Had a private meet which was bad, poorly child upstairs ??. And one rushed club meet with the wrong couple. Guy couldn't get it up and female only interested in my husband.

With that being said, I find I'm very picky. There is some cute girls but I don't find their partners attractive.

I have a big confidence issue and body dysmorphoia. And I'm going to gym and attending SW but unfortunately I seem to be in my head. Being a bigger female I struggle.

I speak to my partner but I think he doesn't understand. I am beyond negative about myself, how I look etc. I feel my body and can feel changes but when I look in the only mirror in the house that isn't the case.

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By *iss DevilWoman
30 weeks ago

Bedford

Body dismorphia is a difficult issue. As you said, it is very much in your head and no matter how many compliments people pay you, you don't believe them. Try being kind to yourself? There are some affirmation techniques that you can use, I think one of them is standing in front of full length mirror, naked, and telling yourself "you look beautiful/great" etc, whichever word you want to use. You supposed to do it daily, until you start believing. Don't ask me if it works- one day, I just decided "fuck what anyone else thinks, it's my body and nobody is going to be telling me how to look, what to wear" etc. Find your own style, something that makes you feel good in your own skin- even things like funky shoes or jewellery, and concentrate on telling yourself how good that item feels on you. And basically be kind to yourself!

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By *ellinever70Woman
30 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I'd probably ditch the swinging until in a better headspace

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I've just checked out your photos and nothing wrong with them. Think if you look at a lot of the pics of ppl on here more of them are like you than kate moss. Social media and instagram plays a lot into this, constantly pushing air brushed images and filters down our necks.

If I had a choice I'd rather spend an intimate evening with you than your husband if that helps your confidence. (Also fabbed your pics

)

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By *iss DevilWoman
30 weeks ago

Bedford

"I'd probably ditch the swinging until in a better headspace "

That, too. Or try naturism? Enjoying the sun when everyone around you is naked, too, is amazingly liberating and shows you not everyone is a lingerie model (though you do get different sizes nowadays

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

"I'd probably ditch the swinging until in a better headspace

That, too. Or try naturism? Enjoying the sun when everyone around you is naked, too, is amazingly liberating and shows you not everyone is a lingerie model (though you do get different sizes nowadays

). "

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By *lan157Man
30 weeks ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

Those of us that have been regularly to clubs and meet others privately know that swinging is for everyone OP whatever one looks like . Many of us are unhappy with our bodies but that does not make us unattractive as people to play with. To miss out on something enjoyable because you may wish to look differently would be such a shame. Having been involved as a couple I can say that the situation you outline of a couple not being entirely comfortable with both parties in the other couple is a common problem and quite reasonably prevents anything taking place. It's really a case of going more often and increasing the chances of meeting suitable people.

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By *eauty.thebeast OP Couple
30 weeks ago

Near Bath

Thank you everyone for advice! I have alot of inner healing to do!

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By *iverstMan
30 weeks ago

Rossendale

As someone miles from you and out of your preferences I feel I can speak openly and honest with you, so here goes;

From your public photos I see an attractive and desirable young lady. I am sure your partner feels blessed that you are by their side.

Don’t go believing all the supermodel stuff that the media and advertisers bombard us all with. Each individual have a range of what we find attractive - some are to do with how we would like someone to look but many are to do with the personality - that’s what creates chemistry as far as I can see. Many many men would step over Kate Moss to get the chance to be with you.

As for yourself, focus on the physical aspects you find attractive, because then you can start to understand you are attractive. I can assure you that men will find attractive many of the aspects that you don’t.

Learn to love yourself because you are a lovely lady.

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By *unchalMan
30 weeks ago

Dartford

"I'd probably ditch the swinging until in a better headspace "

You took the words out of my mouth. OP, I would put my efforts into feeling better. I think you probably have to feel a bit more robust before taking on the challenges of this place. Good luck.

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By *issmorganWoman
30 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Hi op

Your pics look nice, but ultimately you've got to feel good and have confidence or swinging won't be a nice experience for you.

Did the man not being able to get it up knock your confidence? I'm half a couple and this happened to us too, years ago.

Don't see it as any reflection on you, the man we met was very nervous and it showed,when we came to play.

Maybe try some social meets/organised socials & get to know other couples & see if you can get your confidence up that way.

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