FabSwingers.com forum: Fab in General

By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

Hey,

I’ve been on fab quite a few times over the last couple years and it seems that it’s forever declining, maybe it’s just me who knows. Accessibility to fab for whoever and whomever is definitely a factor, as it saturates the good people out and it makes us all look bad.

I wouldn’t say my profile is perfect but it isn’t the worst. Absolutely my age doesn’t help me in a demographic that’s mostly older than me. But I surely can’t be that bad to not even get responses to my msgs, a polite “No thank you” never did anyone any harm.

Just wanted to know your guys’ thoughts and maybe I am going wrong somewhere.

Many thanks in advance x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

Lol just after I posted this, I looked at my msgs to see a couple has responded “shut up” to me questioning why a polite no thank you is hard to say. Sums it all up

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
25 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"if I delete your message please take it as a polite no thank you"

So... sometimes even you don't want to bother with an actual polite no thank you, but it's not okay for other people?

You aren't owed a verbal response. No reply is a no thank you. When there's an average of 30-100 new messages a day, and most no thanks mean another reply from them, hopefully just acknowledging it but often with demands to know why or just straight to "Well I didn't want your ugly ass anyway," why would everyone take the time to respond to every message?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

Absolutely I get your point, I understand most females and couples on here get absolutely bombarded with msgs. Most msgs aren’t even deleted there left opened and ignored.

Instilling self doubt as to why I’ve just been ignored etc

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By *iss DevilWoman
25 weeks ago

Bedford

"Absolutely I get your point, I understand most females and couples on here get absolutely bombarded with msgs. Most msgs aren’t even deleted there left opened and ignored.

Instilling self doubt as to why I’ve just been ignored etc "

Please read FAQ on this site, I'm sure it mentions no reply=no, thank you, regardless whether your message got deleted or not. For your peace of mind, I'd suggest deleting all messages from your "sent" folder. That way, if you do get a reply, it would be a bonus.

Would you rather get blocked straight after sending a message? As that's a very clear "no, thank you".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

I see a msg no different from staring a conversation in person, if I was to say hello how are you, and I was proceeded to be ignore you can’t help but feel a type of way about it.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
25 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"Absolutely I get your point, I understand most females and couples on here get absolutely bombarded with msgs. Most msgs aren’t even deleted there left opened and ignored.

Instilling self doubt as to why I’ve just been ignored etc "

You've been ignored because they're not interested in you. That is made clear by the lack of response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

Isn’t being ignored just plain rude ? Not sure in what realm of life being ignored is acceptable

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By *iss DevilWoman
25 weeks ago

Bedford

"I see a msg no different from staring a conversation in person, if I was to say hello how are you, and I was proceeded to be ignore you can’t help but feel a type of way about it. "

It is very much not the same. Do you reply to every single spam letter and leaflet coming into your mailbox? Aren't you ignoring the companies that took their time, and money, to put those leaflets/spam letters in your mailbox? This is supposed to be fun, not a full-time job where you can get abuse for saying "no, thanks".

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

I find it quite interesting how you’ve compared a company to a human being, a company which inherently has no soul to a human being. Rather interesting

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By *ucka39Man
25 weeks ago

Newcastle

"Isn’t being ignored just plain rude ? Not sure in what realm of life being ignored is acceptable"

Hiya op

Try using the reply and quote, makes it easier to understand who you are replying to

Maybe that you are choosing to meet people old enough to be your parents might be a difficult one. But some may like it as a fetish

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By *electableicecreamMan
25 weeks ago

The West

To be fair if you've been here before you should already know the answers to your questions and you'd also know that having a moan about not getting any and then arguing with the people who are taking the time to explain it to you is simply decreasing rather than increasing you're chances.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

Wouldn’t say questioning someone’s choice of example is arguing but each to their own.

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By *electableicecreamMan
25 weeks ago

The West

"Wouldn’t say questioning someone’s choice of example is arguing but each to their own. "

I'd say you just proved my point

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By *iss DevilWoman
25 weeks ago

Bedford

"Wouldn’t say questioning someone’s choice of example is arguing but each to their own. "

I was trying to explain Fab replies in ways that are easy to understand for people. But I guess you are stuck with your hurt ego and can't see the forest for the trees. Have fun on Fab, as I think this post, and your replies, have told many people much more than your profile ever would. Luckily for you, only a small percentage of Fab users reads forums though.

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By *sagent81Man
25 weeks ago

Leeds

A no thank you is always appreciated but never expected. I don’t actually regard a deleted or an ignored message as a no thanks. I’ve met several women who ignored or deleted my first message to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 03/06/24 20:44:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"Hey,

Just wanted to know your guys’ thoughts and maybe I am going wrong somewhere.

Many thanks in advance x"

Your profiles last part, interesting

Good looking and fit couples/females to the front of the queue

Easy going young man that likes to make good impressions

Open minded and always excited to try new things.

Ladies and mf/ff couples if you like my profile, drop me a message I’m easy to talk to, so don't hesitate

Seeking quality couples/females

if I delete your message please take it as a polite no thank you

Happy fabbing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

Exactly if I delete it take it as a no thank you, I’ve stated what deleting the msg means

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
25 weeks ago

Southampton

"Exactly if I delete it take it as a no thank you, I’ve stated what deleting the msg means "

And yet you're bleating about being ignored aren't you doing the same ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

Fair enough, my thinking behind including that was i rather have someone know im not interested instead of just being ignored potentially leaving them bemused as to what was wrong with there profile etc

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By *electableicecreamMan
25 weeks ago

The West

"Fair enough, my thinking behind including that was i rather have someone know im not interested instead of just being ignored potentially leaving them bemused as to what was wrong with there profile etc "

Kinda like it says in the FAQ?

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By *ickey ThumbWoman
25 weeks ago

South Down

Do you know how absolutely draining it is to send countless no thank you messages?

If I have a limited amount of time to spend on here, what is a better use of my time? Sending rejection messages over and over and over? Or actually continuing to build on connections I've made and having conversations with those who are actually what I'm looking for?

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By *orny PTMan
25 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Isn’t being ignored just plain rude ? Not sure in what realm of life being ignored is acceptable"

Would you post this sort of question on Linked in? Probably not.

Two things that make life wonderful as an adult and a grown up: one is a job and the another is a shag. Life without one or both really makes life miserable

So unless you are royalty, then you will have to get used to a lot of "not even a rejection letter/email, aww"

Yes, rejection sucks and being ignored sucks; but FAB is a difficult site to shine in as a male; as too many messages get deleted, because someone has far too many messages, say 200+ per week or day. It's too easy to get lost in there on the way to the waste basket. Post something witty, clever, useful and most of all intelligent. Brains aren't sexy to photograph, but using one is and that's how I met my partner. (If only I can bottle that success).

There comes a time in a bloke's profile when this question gets asked, is par for the course on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

The way your posting replies plus ignoring the advice given on how to reply on threads (use the reply+quote) gives the impression its one rule for you and the rest have to folllow

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By *uenevereWoman
25 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

OP, you're not entitled to a response. Unless you're responding to a message sent to you, it is essentially spam.

Remember that most women view profiles in nija mode. If your profile isn't enticing you are extremely unlikely to get a reply.

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By *orny PTMan
25 weeks ago

Peterborough

"OP, you're not entitled to a response. Unless you're responding to a message sent to you, it is essentially spam.

Remember that most women view profiles in nija mode. If your profile isn't enticing you are extremely unlikely to get a reply."

a lack of head shots face pics isn't helping.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Hey,

Just wanted to know your guys’ thoughts and maybe I am going wrong somewhere.

Many thanks in advance x"

If you don't think your profile is perfect then have you done anything to improve it?

A profile photo instead of a silhouette?

Better images?

More info about you in the text?

Forget about messages. Most won't even open them til they've viewed your profile content and if they've seen better elsewhere or there's nothing to catch the eye, then what's written in a message is largely irrelevant.

Your age isn't the blocker you think it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

"OP, you're not entitled to a response. Unless you're responding to a message sent to you, it is essentially spam.

Remember that most women view profiles in nija mode. If your profile isn't enticing you are extremely unlikely to get a reply.

a lack of head shots face pics isn't helping."

He's took his head shots down tonight, who knows, maybe he's starting over on here

Good luck OP with whatever you do

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By *illan-KillashMan
25 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"Hey,

Just wanted to know your guys’ thoughts and maybe I am going wrong somewhere.

Many thanks in advance x"

I'm a guy, these are my thoughts.

Hypothetically let's say I message ten profiles a day.

By your reasoning they should all reply with a no thank you if they're not interested.

Q1 - Would you reply to each message with a thanks but no thanks message?

Q2 - At the end of month one you have received circa 300 messages saying no thanks. Are you happier now that you've had 300 confirmed rejections than you were by being ignored?

Q3 - Why do you feel the site FAQ don't apply to you?

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By *entakuruMan
25 weeks ago

Exeter

Meh, I dunno, I've been on here 6 or 7 years now and sometimes it's amazing, sometimes I wonder why I bother. Literally my first week on here I somehow managed to get a meet, which I guess kept me motivated through the dead patches.

Main issue for me is the area I live in is pretty quiet for events and even other users who match my requirements (and me theirs). But I've still made some awesome friends and connections on here, it's just that all the ones I'm really vibing with are 2 or more hours away by car so casual meets are hard to arrange.

At least now I've been on here a while and have a few veris, it does get a bit easier to talk to people. Don't sleep on the cam chat rooms, being available and visible helps a lot.

And there's no better way to get the ball rolling properly than attend some clubs and meet people that way. It seems that Midlands, North and Wales is where most of the real fun is, here in the Southwest (Devon) the scene is generally a bit older and more couples-oriented.

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By *assy LassieWoman
25 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

"To be fair if you've been here before you should already know the answers to your questions and you'd also know that having a moan about not getting any and then arguing with the people who are taking the time to explain it to you is simply decreasing rather than increasing you're chances.

Also indicates OP would whine on and on in messages asking why is it a no.

Would you rather have an inbox full of no thanks messages than just accepting that people won't respond if they are not interested

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By *erlins5Man
25 weeks ago

South Fife

There are a million whining threads like this one.....just have a read of them for your answers

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By *erlins5Man
25 weeks ago

South Fife

"Isn’t being ignored just plain rude ? Not sure in what realm of life being ignored is acceptable"

Yet your own profile says that if you delete a message it is your way of saying no thank you.....but you expect a response from others who aren't interested in you....entitlement right there

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By *iss DevilWoman
25 weeks ago

Bedford

Why am I not surprised that the OP is now UNLOS? Hopefully he will have better attitude when he comes back.

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