FabSwingers.com forum: Unable to cum from bj

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all looked online for tips on this but can't really find anything of much use

Wonder if anyone has any tips to help me go all the way

Like all men I love receiving a nice long slow bj but always hit a wall when I get to the point of cumming and just can't go over the edge

Never cum with any sexual partners from oral and with kay, as she loves doing it, its getting very frustrating for both of us as she takes it as a personal knock to her confidence

Have no problem having an orgasm alone or with full sex, its just from oral

Any tips?

Paul xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think you answered your own question there... you say it gets frustrating and your partner takes it personally....bit of pressure there isnt it? Why not just enjoy what's going on without trying to 'go over the edge' and see what happens?

I'd say let me know how you get on but that's going a bit too far lolol ....all the best

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh I enjoy what's happening and she can get me to the edge really well but I hang there for ages, once for an hour with no release

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't worry about it otherwise it will just make it worse, however I think I can only remember twice in 13 years Paul has cum from a bj, some people just aren't that into them does it matter? Find what's right for you and what you like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe try and mix it up and reassure her that its not her. Your never too old to experiment..so find out what works for you both and take it from there..

The pressure would be an issue..enjoy yourselves without any expectations and have fun..you'll discover what makes you explode..

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By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

I can understand her feeling like that if it was just her but as u say its been the same with others....

Prob like everything else if u think about it too much it ain't gonna happen!

Must be some reason your holding back maybe...xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Kay here!!

Just to say I don't actually take it personally, as in I don't think its something I'm doing wrong.

It does cause some frustration for us (and also people we have met off here) as I don't like to leave a job unfinished.

I think its a psychological thing so contemplating some kind of therapy.

Our sex life is fantastic though so would just like to iron out this one tiny issue xxx

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By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

Have you ever felt that the person u were with didn't want you to cum in there mouth so got used to holding back??...just a thought x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Kay hasn't got an issue with it as loves me cumming in her mouth when I pull out

As kay said we have a feeling it a mental thing as I'm not in control just wondered if anyone had some tips

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you ever felt that the person u were with didn't want you to cum in there mouth so got used to holding back??...just a thought x"

That's definately not the case with me as ill more than happily take it in my mouth but it could be something from before me. Its a very good point xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I very rarely cum from a bj. Some men apparently cum easily from it, others not. i know in my case I find it a really relaxing intimate act and i something think I just enjoy it too much. Its almost like an incredibly sensual massage. As long as you both are enjoying the act, i dont see the problem. Male orgasms are overrated anyway. We just cum and conk out asleep. I wish I was a gurl. far more interesting orgasms!

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By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"I very rarely cum from a bj. Some men apparently cum easily from it, others not. i know in my case I find it a really relaxing intimate act and i something think I just enjoy it too much. Its almost like an incredibly sensual massage. As long as you both are enjoying the act, i dont see the problem. Male orgasms are overrated anyway. We just cum and conk out asleep. I wish I was a gurl. far more interesting orgasms!"

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By *leasurexxWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Have you ever felt that the person u were with didn't want you to cum in there mouth so got used to holding back??...just a thought x

That's definately not the case with me as ill more than happily take it in my mouth but it could be something from before me. Its a very good point xx"

i did mean someone previous to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh bless you both, its no-ones faulttry not to think to much about it i no someone on the fmale side who has same prob itsjust one of those things

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Have you ever felt that the person u were with didn't want you to cum in there mouth so got used to holding back??...just a thought x

That's definately not the case with me as ill more than happily take it in my mouth but it could be something from before me. Its a very good point xx

i did mean someone previous to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi guys

i'm not quite in your position as i can come from a bj but nowhere near as easily or as enjoyably as i can from a fuck. for me i thonk its that a bj is allabout me whereas when fucking i get to see my partner coming to orgasm which is the biggest turn on of all. personally i would say dont think about therapy so long az u both enjoy it just dont let it worry you xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"hi guys

We have an amazing sex life but its almost become a challenge for me now and I'm determined to do it haha

Kay xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Actually now I think about it Paul has said he feels like he is being selfish when it comes to me giving him oral so maybe that is the issue.

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had always struggled to cum from oral until I met my partner she has a totally different technique and is always very keen to go down there as a result I have learned to go with the flow and the results put a smile on both our faces. Many women have the same problem letting go during oral too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm uncut an the tip of my cock is hypersensitive - I need to have my foreskin moving back and forth over the tip (or lots of lube/saliva) to cum.

I learnt what I like and make sure my partners know as well - everyone is happy that way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm uncut an the tip of my cock is hypersensitive - I need to have my foreskin moving back and forth over the tip (or lots of lube/saliva) to cum.

I learnt what I like and make sure my partners know as well - everyone is happy that way."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes struggle to cum with a bj and so I normally don't bother trying to cum, I just enjoy the sensation. Plenty of other ways to cum right? I can't work out if it is psychological or physical or both. At a swingers party a girl with a pierced tongue gave me a bj and I struggled to slam the brakes on to stop myself from cumming too soon.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I sometimes struggle to cum with a bj and so I normally don't bother trying to cum, I just enjoy the sensation. Plenty of other ways to cum right? I can't work out if it is psychological or physical or both. At a swingers party a girl with a pierced tongue gave me a bj and I struggled to slam the brakes on to stop myself from cumming too soon.

We both have pierced tongues and his works great on me but its not quite the same the other way around

I'm working on my ability to deep throat so hoping that may help x

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By *gw1070Man
over a year ago

stourbridge

I'm cut and as such have reduced sensitivity due to the glans being constantly exposed and the hyper keratinisation of the skin. I also rarely manage to cum from oral sex alone . I need other stimulation as well. Only a few people have managed to make me cum from oral sex alone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try something like sensory deprivation. Once you're in a highly relaxed, yet aroused state have your lady give you a nice long blow job.

Even if you don't cum its still an utterly mind blowing experience...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Try something like sensory deprivation. Once you're in a highly relaxed, yet aroused state have your lady give you a nice long blow job.

Even if you don't cum its still an utterly mind blowing experience..."

Ill give that a go!

Thanks

Kay xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Likewise, I've never managed to climax from oral sex either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aw, lookingforfuncouple, don't put yourselves under so much pressure for a BJ to lead to ejaculation. You're LESS likely to be able to relax, if you feel this pressure!

There are lots of other ways for you to give each other sexual pleasure, as I'm sure you know.

And to be honest, in my experience, guys who EASILY ejaculate through oral sex tend to have a bit of a 'hair trigger' - the phrase "all over in a splash" has been used! Which can make it a bit LESS of a mututally enjoyable experience.

Personally, I prefer a man with a bit (lot!) more staying power, even if it means that we have to experiment somewhat, to work out how our bodies work best together.

And since you're a couple, you're really well placed to work out what works best for you two xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Aw, lookingforfuncouple, don't put yourselves under so much pressure for a BJ to lead to ejaculation. You're LESS likely to be able to relax, if you feel this pressure!

There are lots of other ways for you to give each other sexual pleasure, as I'm sure you know.

Personally, I prefer a man with a bit (lot!) more staying power, even if it means that we have to experiment somewhat, to work out how our bodies work best together.

And since you're a couple, you're really well placed to work out what works best for you two xx

Thank you! We do know each others buttons very well and maybe everyone is right and we shouldn't focus on the one issue we have xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to happen with my husband he could only finish off by having a wank I took it personally too OP but he just wasn't really sensitive at the end

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I wouldn't worry about it....

Some guys just can't. some women can't come through oral , doesn't mean they don't enjoy it....

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Add me to the "hardly ever happens for me either" list.

Doesn't cause a problem. It is what it is.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Another 'hardly ever happens' here too. Like BJs but they're always foreplay for me and I have no problem cumming in a pussy, but for some reason not a mouth. Suits R as she's not terribly keen on the taste of semen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously therapy cos he don't cum from a BJ???? If that's the case I should have got therapy years ago. So long as he can cum through other means. If it was unable to come from penetration then yeh. But a BJ ? Is it really that bad that he don't cum from a BJ. Why don't you give him a good chug in between sucking that might work. Or stop getting so frustrated that will defo help x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only 4 times in my life I've ever cum through a bj , and I've had loads. Just relax and it'll happen sooner or later

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We may not have been clear on this but this problem does not effect our sex life in general.

Therapy is something we are looking into, more because we want to find out if it is psychological rather than we are desperate to fix the problem.

I like to give a bj to completion and he would like to experience finishing from one.

If it never happens then that's fine, but we are just looking at ways we might be able to make it happen.

It is frustrating but not to the point we stress ourselves out over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive rarely came from bjs..the slow technique would never help either...sorry, but i like my cock wanked like a pornstar..and BJ'd

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I've always cum pretty quickly from a blowjob, except for very recently when my balls were empty, I had the fun experience of a bj without cumming.

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

I always mix it up with using my hand and sometimes both at the same time, like wanking but flicking your tounge on the end, or simultaneously using hand and mouth as you go up and down .......... Works for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the same problem, I find if she uses hand and mouth together with lots of salavia that helps, or get her to stick a finger up your bum!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have been married 37 years and Ali has only managed to take me all the way three times, so i always get myself to the point of no return so that can finish me off. Ali used to get upset thinking it was her till we started swinging and found she could do it with ease with some but not all partners. She has found that no one apart from me can take her all the way when she get oral so I wouldn't worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi all looked online for tips on this but can't really find anything of much use

Wonder if anyone has any tips to help me go all the way

Like all men I love receiving a nice long slow bj but always hit a wall when I get to the point of cumming and just can't go over the edge

Never cum with any sexual partners from oral and with kay, as she loves doing it, its getting very frustrating for both of us as she takes it as a personal knock to her confidence

Have no problem having an orgasm alone or with full sex, its just from oral

Any tips?

Paul xx"

No tips but that would suit me because I will give oral but dont want to have cum in mouth or swallow not helpful i know sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a similar position when I was a lot younger, until I met an older, more experienced lady who I worked with and enjoyed a short fling with.

She simply started to give me a helping hand while sucking/licking/playing in the general vicinity, taking the focus off the bj itself. Then she would encourage me to give myself a hand, and/or finish myself off by hand as she licked/sucked.

Once your over the barrier then it shouldn't be an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like others have said, once you identify something as an issue then its difficult to stop thinking about it when the act happens and thereby exacerbating the issue.

I totally understand Kay's feelings about this as I have experienced the same. My OH doesn't cum from bj's with me. But he has cum from bj's with women he's played with. And yes I did feel it when it first happened and the look of guilt on his face after it happened made it worse for me because I felt guilty over making him feel guilty, sorry if that doesn't make a lot of sense.

My OH is a long stayer and he can only cum from a bj if its a strong up and down movement. I have tried to keep a strong rhythm but I can't do it for as long as it takes. I always tend to be more slow and sensual.

When swinging the thought that deep down he's doing something naughty, taboo, ie, having bj's from casual women, is a massive turn on for him with cumming an added naughtiness.

I did have feelings of inadequacy at first but in time I see it for what it is. There are positives to this too, I'm not the one getting the jaw ache. Its accepting that we have great sex together but he also has good sex when swinging with others. Our sex is always going to be unique, so its a case of being content and secure in that.

Don't see it as a challenge and just carry on having great sex without any pressure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try taking the tongue piercing out, I took mine out because I was told on more than one occasion that oral was much better without it x

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By *ussypussWoman
over a year ago

South Birmingham waiting for the bf to come back after crimbo

I've met a few guys who couldn't get 'over the edge' but unfortunately for me, they didn't tell me that they have difficulty. So there I was, half an hour later, with chronic jaw ache and no results, had to give up in the end, then they told me ... great.

Then, just around Xmas just gone I met another guy (now a regular thing) who didn't say anything but as I discovered after making him cum with a bj, he had never been able to do this before, and even now, several meets later, he tells me that for some strange reason, no-one else he's met can do it for him. I've obviously found his magic switch .. lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kay here!!

Just to say I don't actually take it personally, as in I don't think its something I'm doing wrong.

It does cause some frustration for us (and also people we have met off here) as I don't like to leave a job unfinished.

I think its a psychological thing so contemplating some kind of therapy.

Our sex life is fantastic though so would just like to iron out this one tiny issue xxx"
i can only cum to a deepthroat, if the woman goes all the way down to the base and goes really fast. If its a slow bj, and just around the tip, then i wont be able to cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe instead of giving you a long slow one, she could start really fast and try and make you cum quickly? When I'm enjoying a slow blow job I tend to hold off so I can enjoy it longer, but then later on, as I've already stopped myself so many times I find it really difficult to cum. I also find relaxing and tensing up less helps.

Also you could try a different or unusual location. Perhaps somewhere a bit cheeky or kinky?... or maybe she could give you a cheeky finger round the back?

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By *eady_eddyMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Love getting a BJ, very rarely cum, but when I do oooooohhhhhhhh!

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By *now-bbw-bunnyCouple
over a year ago

southend-on-sea

my hubbie doesn't often cum by a hands free bj unless he getting a prostate massage at rhe same time , u could always try that time. We both know when he can't there so a quick wank either by him or me i soon get floods of cum down my throat . I dont think there anything thing wong it's just how we both made .enjoy your swinging debs xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We may not have been clear on this but this problem does not effect our sex life in general.

Therapy is something we are looking into, more because we want to find out if it is psychological rather than we are desperate to fix the problem.

I like to give a bj to completion and he would like to experience finishing from one.

If it never happens then that's fine, but we are just looking at ways we might be able to make it happen.

It is frustrating but not to the point we stress ourselves out over it"

Read all above. Not all guys cum via a BJ. Stop stressing about it.

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By *aster of a mindCouple
over a year ago

York

"Hi all looked online for tips on this but can't really find anything of much use

Wonder if anyone has any tips to help me go all the way

Like all men I love receiving a nice long slow bj but always hit a wall when I get to the point of cumming and just can't go over the edge

Never cum with any sexual partners from oral and with kay, as she loves doing it, its getting very frustrating for both of us as she takes it as a personal knock to her confidence

Have no problem having an orgasm alone or with full sex, its just from oral

Any tips?

Paul xx"

i'll swap you Paul! i almost cum instantly when my lovely lady gives me a BJ. I wish I could last a lot longer especially if I have two women giving me a BJ, i'm lucky to get 30 seconds out of it...lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try using poppers, relaxing and will help

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Try getting involved more , caressing, hair pulling ,kissing,69ing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We may not have been clear on this but this problem does not effect our sex life in general.

Therapy is something we are looking into, more because we want to find out if it is psychological rather than we are desperate to fix the problem.

I like to give a bj to completion and he would like to experience finishing from one.

If it never happens then that's fine, but we are just looking at ways we might be able to make it happen.

It is frustrating but not to the point we stress ourselves out over it"

I still do struggle with the same problem but one thing that I found with my ex was to stroke one off, when close to big O put it in her mouth and see if you can relax enough to hold the feeling and cum. You do have to communicate, to figure out what the barrier is... for me its psychological from past experience with teeth!!! Some girls don't realise how disturbing it is to have your chopper cheese grated by a set of choppers!!!! ouch!!

Good luck!!

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