"Hey everyone, I’m an Essex based straight male looking to visit a club for the first time solo, can anyone please recommend a relaxed style club for me to visit? I’m confident sexually but incredibly nervous about taking the plunge! It would be good to chat make friends beforehand to make the experience a little easier."
I’d definitely keep an eye on Swingers Clubs/ Event ads. While some are definitely better than others from the stories I’ve heard. As another Single Guy who went to his first club by himself, I’d recommend just picking one that has some good feedback. Pick one today, don’t over think it or turn it into a big process of selecting the right one as that’s just stalling. While this might sound terrible advice, it’s for a good reason. Pick one with decent feedback today, join and arrange to go early/ mid next week if possible. Tuesday or Wednesday during the day when the day of the week and the time of day means it will hopefully be quiet. I wouldn’t recommend going on your own for the first time while it busy. Simply put your going to feel out of your depth and in over your head when you first walk in. Hence why it helps going when quiet, it will help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed and alienated as you can start to relax by talking with and getting to know some of the staff there. Take the tour, complete your membership etc, which is a lot harder to do when it’s busy and staff are rushed off your feet. Not only does it ensure the first people you talk to are welcoming and friendly but they can also give you helpful insight in the vibe and people there. This helped me because by the time I got to this point I’d had enough time to adjust and realise it no different to going to any club or bar, the only difference is, if by chance (and definitely shouldn’t go with the expectation anything will) something more happens, we don’t have to leave the club and go back home to enjoy or risk being thrown out lol. I left before it got to busy as I wanted to appreciate the social side of visiting a club first and foremost regardless of whether anything else happening. Which with everyone I chatted with being so friendly and welcoming, I had a really great first visit just enjoying the social side of visiting the club.
I came away with a very positive first experience and most importantly I overcame that difficult first hurdle of going to a swingers club for the first time on my own. After that it was all down hill, it didn’t matter if that particular club was for me or not, I could easily join another instead that suited me better after knowing what to expect and what I wanted out of visiting a club. Likewise, it didn’t bother me going at i’st busiest time, walking through the door on my own and knowing what to do with myself. Everyone is different though and maybe only some or none of what I suggested works for you. However I definitely wouldn’t delay and like with removing a band aid, just go for it
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