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"Would someone, preferably well versed here, explain why they would delete a message without browsing a profile? The obvious answer would be that the message didn’t quite do the job. In a situation where the messaged profile has little content to work with, few photos and no requirements to meet it just seems odd to me. Maybe I’m just moaning over rejection "There's an option in privacy settings to not show on someone's 'who's looked at me' list. You'll never know if someone does or not so not worth worrying about. Likewise if a message shows as deleted you won't necessarily know if they read it or not. Just worry about replies. Not what's sent or who's looked. It's a far less stressful experience. | |||
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"How do you know they didn't look? You can stop people from knowing when you've looked, and quite a lot of women do that. (I found out the hard way when I first joined that some people assume views are interest, rather than curiosity or fat fingering your phone)" That could well answer it for me. It’s the noob not knowing the fundamentals | |||
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"Would someone, preferably well versed here, explain why they would delete a message without browsing a profile? The obvious answer would be that the message didn’t quite do the job. In a situation where the messaged profile has little content to work with, few photos and no requirements to meet it just seems odd to me. Maybe I’m just moaning over rejection
There's an option in privacy settings to not show on someone's 'who's looked at me' list.
You'll never know if someone does or not so not worth worrying about.
Likewise if a message shows as deleted you won't necessarily know if they read it or not.
Just worry about replies. Not what's sent or who's looked. It's a far less stressful experience. "Sound advice my man. Thank you. | |||
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"Ninja mode is every woman's friend. That said, I don't look at the majority of profiles that message me. The message often tells me enough." Could you elaborate on that at all? I guess it depends on what type of person they are and what they expect to receive (dirty/polite). But it was well written and honest, maybe too honest | |||
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"I think the more frustrating thing is that the couple in question posted looking for a meet…and seem to be still looking. " Then it is obvious they were not looking for you. Just because you meet a few tick boxes doesnt mean they will meet you. Forget and move on | |||
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"Ninja mode is every woman's friend. That said, I don't look at the majority of profiles that message me. The message often tells me enough. Could you elaborate on that at all? I guess it depends on what type of person they are and what they expect to receive (dirty/polite). But it was well written and honest, maybe too honest "For me, if it's obvious they haven't read the profile or they fall into an obvious ick category for me. Or simply if their message is uninspiring and uninteresting to me. I'm not posting meets and the inbox is never quiet. If someone fails to get my attention in a positive way with their message it will be disregarded so I can crack on amd see if there's any hidden gems elsewhere in the inbox. | |||
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"I think the more frustrating thing is that the couple in question posted looking for a meet…and seem to be still looking. Then it is obvious they were not looking for you. Just because you meet a few tick boxes doesnt mean they will meet you. Forget and move on" That’s understandable, until i was aware that ninja mode existed it was kinda annoying. But im more content knowing that they could have looked at my profile and made their decision on something more than a message that isn’t so easy to articulate and meet the standard expected, especially from such a basic profile. | |||
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"Would someone, preferably well versed here, explain why they would delete a message without browsing a profile? The obvious answer would be that the message didn’t quite do the job. In a situation where the messaged profile has little content to work with, few photos and no requirements to meet it just seems odd to me. Maybe I’m just moaning over rejection
There's an option in privacy settings to not show on someone's 'who's looked at me' list.
You'll never know if someone does or not so not worth worrying about.
Likewise if a message shows as deleted you won't necessarily know if they read it or not.
Just worry about replies. Not what's sent or who's looked. It's a far less stressful experience. "I believe even if they read it and then mark it as unread, once it's deleted it will show as being read, unless they have never read it. | |||
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"Ninja mode is every woman's friend. That said, I don't look at the majority of profiles that message me. The message often tells me enough. Could you elaborate on that at all? I guess it depends on what type of person they are and what they expect to receive (dirty/polite). But it was well written and honest, maybe too honest
For me, if it's obvious they haven't read the profile or they fall into an obvious ick category for me. Or simply if their message is uninspiring and uninteresting to me. I'm not posting meets and the inbox is never quiet. If someone fails to get my attention in a positive way with their message it will be disregarded so I can crack on amd see if there's any hidden gems elsewhere in the inbox.
"This is probably where I’m going wrong, in my defence I do write messages after reading a profile and will try to be original and honest. But as I’m quite new, particularly to messaging others, I’m maybe not hitting the right spot, even with the messages that can take a long time to piece together and as a newbie, lacking verifications, which plays a part, the effort vs rejection takes it toll. | |||
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"I think the more frustrating thing is that the couple in question posted looking for a meet…and seem to be still looking. Then it is obvious they were not looking for you. Just because you meet a few tick boxes doesnt mean they will meet you. Forget and move on That’s understandable, until i was aware that ninja mode existed it was kinda annoying. But im more content knowing that they could have looked at my profile and made their decision on something more than a message that isn’t so easy to articulate and meet the standard expected, especially from such a basic profile. " Personally, if there are no photos or guide as to what the person has to offer it’s often more risky to open conversation and ask about these things as it’s often met with offence or defensiveness. It’s easier to just delete the message and move on to the many who are clear about what they bring to the table rather than what they are looking for. It’s easier to establish fit that way. Good luck. It’s not easy on here even for couples and single women. It’s easy to sweat the small stuff. But you and life are more important. You’ll find what you’re looking for. | |||
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"You have been here for more than one year, so you are not new in my opinion. A post above suggested for you to focus on replies, not in deletes, and you seem to welcome the suggestion, but your latest post suggests you are still frustrated by not having received a clear NO. I suspect that would still not be to your satisfaction and you would be asking then WHY, as the follow up. This is precisely what many profiles want to avoid: engage. There's no point in engaging if they are not interested in you." Agree with some of your points. Although I’ve been on a year I didn’t log back on for a while after signing up and didn’t engage for some time afterwards. But I’m also new in the respect of experience and meets, hence the lack of verifications. The post above wasn’t an update, it was an addition to help clarify a point from my feelings initially. So don’t get that confused with continued frustration and any lack of satisfaction. I understand that profiles don’t want to engage if they’re not interested, but as the forums show there’s more to the site than sexual attraction. I’m only asking for pointers, so I can look at remediating them and better myself. | |||
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"Also, there are a few clear red flags, from our point of view, in your profile, but since you did not ask for advice on that it would be improper from us to give it unsolicited." Any advice would be welcomed. Red flags are rather concerning. | |||
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"Also, there are a few clear red flags, from our point of view, in your profile, but since you did not ask for advice on that it would be improper from us to give it unsolicited. Any advice would be welcomed. Red flags are rather concerning." The problem with pointing out red flags is that it just gives people the opportunity to hide them, and obfuscate things which may determine whether they're a good match. If your profile is a true reflection of you and what you're looking for, then you should leave it as it is. That way people can see exactly what they're getting. | |||
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"Also, there are a few clear red flags, from our point of view, in your profile, but since you did not ask for advice on that it would be improper from us to give it unsolicited. Any advice would be welcomed. Red flags are rather concerning." You should leave your profile as it is for the most part *if it truly reflects who you are*. Trying to change to suit others results in disappointment for everyone. | |||
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