FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

The (New) Neurodivergent Thread

Jump to newest
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
24 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire

As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one.

Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive.

I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD.

How are you all doing lately?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple
24 weeks ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

Hi

Good idea! Nice to hang out with other neurospicy folk.

Dee

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bxanfCouple
24 weeks ago

Inside your walls

Juno has ASD (diagnosed)

I will say this about the swinger scene, WAY more understanding than regular people seem to be.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
24 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire


"Juno has ASD (diagnosed)

I will say this about the swinger scene, WAY more understanding than regular people seem to be."

We've found that people tend to be a lot more accepting and willing to understand, rather than it being an outright thing. It's really quite nice not having to explain every, little thing and then dreading further questions and struggling to find the right terms so people don't get confused.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rJandMrsJCouple
24 weeks ago

Hyde

Pushing for an official diagnosis myself. Even though I've had plenty of people say definitively that I do. Always fun.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *weelightMan
24 weeks ago

Southport

I've been diagnosed since I was a kid with the inattentive type. Perpetual space cadet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eddyandbratCouple
24 weeks ago

Swansea

Currwntly waiting for testing for ASD, hoping it will help explain things in my earlier life, have learnt my coping strategies through my life, so not sure it will make a big difference.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asisfan25Man
24 weeks ago

Essex

I’ve had mild asd and ADHD since I was very young

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
24 weeks ago

Cardiff

Oooo good thread idea! I'm also looking for diagnosis

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

95% undiagnosed ADHD..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *areBear74Man
24 weeks ago

west berkshire

What a brilliant idea. I am 99% undiagnosed. Looking to get to know like minded folk.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uttymonkeyMan
24 weeks ago

devon

Diagnosed adhd.

Going cold turkey on the meds atm as im wondering if they are affecting my performance now...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *891SerenWoman
24 weeks ago

North east wales

Hi there

Another neurospicey one here. Asd with adhd, and a sprinkle of dyslexia.

Nice to see my fellow dopamine seekers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *891SerenWoman
24 weeks ago

North east wales

Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed.

I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more..

Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *891SerenWoman
24 weeks ago

North east wales

Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uttymonkeyMan
24 weeks ago

devon

This very much so... Bit more obvious for me though no doubt. Hands become restless and it's the enjoyment of reading the other person whilst playing I'm thinking about.

Then the worry of not being hard in that moment kicks in and gow they might take it and blah blah blah all the over thinking kicks in

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *weelightMan
24 weeks ago

Southport


"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed.

I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more..

Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. "

How long have you been on antidepressants? And do you have any recollection of maturation resulting in orgasm before your treatment?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrimper36Couple
24 weeks ago

Central France dept 36

A label is just a name that is given to something or someone and I got my label about 9 years ago and my name is Tony and I’m a HIGH FUNCTIONING AUTISTIC but even with my label I’m still me and always will be until the day I die.

Labels help you understand why you feel or act differently to other people but labels can be misused or misunderstood by others.

I’ve only talked openly about my label for the last 18 months because I didn’t want to be judged by others lack of understanding of my label but now I have had the absolute pleasure through my job as a online teacher in helping many people understand why they are different just by talking.

Through sex as well I’ve helped woman again understand their reasons for feeling differently to those around them and two of my woman friends are 68 so it’s never to late to understand the things that we find hard to understand.

You are you so be comfortable in your own skin because you will always be you and everyone else will always be them.

T

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asisfan25Man
24 weeks ago

Essex

Good afternoon everyone on the thread.

I put a comment the other day that I have mild autism and ADHD. I just wanted to share a message of support for everyone who has ever been treated differently because of their condition. Even though it’s wrong, the discrimination you can face, you’ve got to rise above it and just be yourself.

I’ve been treated differently by people a lot in life, mostly in social situations because I seem really awkward. I’m a lot better socially now because I cope a lot better with ASD.

I wish everyone who feels like their condition will determine their life: don’t let it. Focus on your strengths, and you can achieve anything.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alcon43Woman
24 weeks ago

Paisley

I have many neurodivergent friends and my daughter was diagnosed as ASD last year at the age of 23. I probably have ADHD but undiagnosed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *891SerenWoman
24 weeks ago

North east wales

Since I was 17 I think.

No memory of anything really.. I remember I was a horny teen. Trying to fuck myself with anything I could find. And enjoys boyfriends very hard cocks through trousers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoirCouple
24 weeks ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Oh a new home

C

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *891SerenWoman
24 weeks ago

North east wales


"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed.

I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more..

Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times.

How long have you been on antidepressants? And do you have any recollection of maturation resulting in orgasm before your treatment?"

Since I was 17 I think.

No memory of anything really.. I remember I was a horny teen. Trying to fuck myself with anything I could find. And enjoys boyfriends very hard cocks through trousers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iviTV/TS
24 weeks ago

London

Hey

Neurospicy person here, have started the ball rolling for an adhd diagnosis but it's a slow ball.

I recall having a therapy session and the person just saying at the end that they had written adhd 5 times and underlined it haha.

Definitely get bored when people go down on me, but going down on others I get hyperfocused !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lujiz94Man
24 weeks ago

Bishop's Stortford

I have asperger's syndrome (although people say I should say autism, since the guy who discovered aspergers was a bad person) I find it really difficult to make social connections with people, especially for relationships.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abonWoman
24 weeks ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

Don’t forget the HSPs!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *esparate danMan
24 weeks ago

glasgow


"Hey

Neurospicy person here, have started the ball rolling for an adhd diagnosis but it's a slow ball.

I recall having a therapy session and the person just saying at the end that they had written adhd 5 times and underlined it haha.

Definitely get bored when people go down on me, but going down on others I get hyperfocused !"

Sounds more like your therapist is adhd

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I did the online ADD/ADHD self assessment -got 300 out of 30-didn’t read the instructions properly…..?

So -‘Neuro-spicey’ I like -interesting to find something of a community of us ‘here’ - I’ve been into D/s and BDSM/Fetish for a couple of decades now -which I think aligns with others ‘here’ who refer to ‘reading’ others -a kind of ‘objectivity’ which goes really well with ‘taking control’ ?

Nice to have this dimension to the discussions here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ayPrimeMan
24 weeks ago

Leeds

Hi, I’m Victor. Spent a very m, very long time feeling purposeless and misdiagnosed with every anxious/depressive condition under the sun until three years, was diagnosed with ADHD Combined Sub-type.

The closure was enough for a while, then I tried mephylphenidate for a year but recently have gone back to being “rogue” as it was messing with my other health priorities.

Hi everyone! You’re valid, you’re worthwhile and just as deserving as anyone else to succeed and fail, because neither really exist except within your own perception of them.

“Instead of trying to change the world, change your idea. If you change your idea of success and failure, everything is great!” - Sadhguru

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I'm possibly somewhere on the spectrum, though I've not been formally diagnosed (I applied through my GP for an assessment a while back, but was turned down). I went along to Quest a few times last year (which led me to sign up here), but I haven't been for the last six months as I just found the whole experience very depressing.

Currently wondering if I should try going along again a few times.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Central

I'm doing fairly well

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *891SerenWoman
24 weeks ago

North east wales

Can I ask what hsp is? Hypermobility?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple
24 weeks ago

manchester

We are both dyslexic with many other neurodivergent traits.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouples_EroticaXXXCouple
24 weeks ago

manchester


"Can I ask what hsp is? Hypermobility? "

A highly sensitive person

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untressFlidaisWoman
24 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear

I find that it takes a lot longer when medicated.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untressFlidaisWoman
24 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear

Does anyone find that the site helps the dopamine craving?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago


"Does anyone find that the site helps the dopamine craving?"

It does sometimes i think

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *J the bullMan
24 weeks ago

Washington

Hi definately bi polar..though never formally diagnosed.. but honestly I don't want to be.. its enough to know and mostly deal with my highs and lows myself..

But also get help if needed as I discovered far to recently x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I have diagnosed ASD but mine is mild really, I am very high functioning, can socialise, date, show empathy and have a lot relying on me in real life for advice and support. It came as a surprise to me when I was diagnosed late 3 years ago at 41 but looking back it all makes sense in many areas. I have some quirks and struggles at times but it is self-contained, many have no idea I have it until I tell them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *toC Thats MeWoman
24 weeks ago

Sheffield


"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed.

I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more..

Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. "

I definitely found the same. I couldn’t orgasm when taking them.

Change of medication helped for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tew008Man
23 weeks ago

edinburgh

No idea if I’m neurospicy but I’m not really wanting to go through getting any diagnosis. Been told I fit certain conditions. Probably makes sense as I’ve been on here over 10 years and still can’t meet anyone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrimper36Couple
23 weeks ago

Central France dept 36


"No idea if I’m neurospicy but I’m not really wanting to go through getting any diagnosis. Been told I fit certain conditions. Probably makes sense as I’ve been on here over 10 years and still can’t meet anyone "

You are you and always will be you with a label or without a label but at least the label can help you understand why maybe at times you feel different to others.

T

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Plenty of experience supporting both adults and children with autism some very low functioning

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

It is well known that antidepressants are notorious for affecting sexual responses, libido, ability to orgasm. Or perhaps I should say it's not that well known unless you look into it xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed.

I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more..

Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. "

Antidepressants are notorious for affecting sexual responses/performance, not that you're likely to get told that xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

If your meds aren’t working please go and get a review. I’m happy to say I’ve been on them for years and only the lowest dose and they do the job.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ubikslongswordMan
23 weeks ago

East Grinstead

I've received a diagnosis of ADHD from occupational health at work but awaiting a clinical diagnosis, and reading through that swingers are more accepting of neurodiverse conditions.

I have over the years had a few "friends" in the lifestyle but I don't feel they truly accepted me, it felt more like they tolerated me so they could be friends with my wife. I would love to find people in the lifestyle I can be my weird self.

(This message has been filtered by my wife Dirtydanish 2.0 As I originally sounded like a dick)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Undiagnosed Aspie here, dyscalculia, poss dyspraxia. I couldn't get an official diagnosis when I tried to pursue it years ago as there wasn't the funding at the time and I didn't have the money to go private. It's had to be left as a question mark on my medical notes so to speak. I scored highly or quite highly when I took an autism online test and others have agreed it sounds like I have Aspergers though I don't think that's such a popular term now. It was so frustrating to hear that my request had been turned down (to get diagnosed) as they said that I was coping as an adult and I was high functioning enough..well how would they know without seeing me and if I felt I was coping that well why would I be seeking help?? Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Officially diagnosed autistic here and I would say I'm a HSP too.

It's great to see a new space has been made for neurospicies to get together. Some of the previous spaces I did take part in creating, but for a while I saw nothing or any updates so assumed people were just busy.

Hey to all you old and new neurospicy faces here. Hope to have some fun interactions with you all. x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"Undiagnosed Aspie here, dyscalculia, poss dyspraxia. I couldn't get an official diagnosis when I tried to pursue it years ago as there wasn't the funding at the time and I didn't have the money to go private. It's had to be left as a question mark on my medical notes so to speak. I scored highly or quite highly when I took an autism online test and others have agreed it sounds like I have Aspergers though I don't think that's such a popular term now. It was so frustrating to hear that my request had been turned down (to get diagnosed) as they said that I was coping as an adult and I was high functioning enough..well how would they know without seeing me and if I felt I was coping that well why would I be seeking help?? Xx"

Really sorry to hear they are being awkward little buggers with you. I hope and wish you manage to get that official diagnoses moonshadow.

P.s. awesome name!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"We are both dyslexic with many other neurodivergent traits. "

May have spoken with you both in the past at some point if I remember correctly. Heyy! And how're you both doing?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

It is quite interesting to see a high number of neurodivergents (ND) on a site like Fab. Do you think ND people are prone to having a high sex drive? I am aware studies found high prevalence of hypersexuality in ASD males, although the same was not tested in ASD females. I have always had a high sex drive which has NOT finished with age, wonder if it is the ASD or just goor genetics?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

* diminished with age

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

* good genetics

Sorry for typos on phone

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erfectlychaoticWoman
23 weeks ago

Aldershot

Hi I'm J

Adult ADHD with comorbid anxiety and depression disorder diagnosed at 27.

I'm a big advocate for raising awareness about ND I'm my job and currently looking to qualify up as adhd mentor/counsellor.

Read some really good material about adhd and swinging as well as ND and swinging.

Also for those waiting diagnosis I can recommend a great website.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"Hi I'm J

Adult ADHD with comorbid anxiety and depression disorder diagnosed at 27.

I'm a big advocate for raising awareness about ND I'm my job and currently looking to qualify up as adhd mentor/counsellor.

Read some really good material about adhd and swinging as well as ND and swinging.

Also for those waiting diagnosis I can recommend a great website."

Feel free to share some of the info about ADHD and swinging, it's got me intrigued that's for sure haha.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"It is quite interesting to see a high number of neurodivergents (ND) on a site like Fab. Do you think ND people are prone to having a high sex drive? I am aware studies found high prevalence of hypersexuality in ASD males, although the same was not tested in ASD females. I have always had a high sex drive which has NOT finished with age, wonder if it is the ASD or just goor genetics? "

I don't think it's black and white at all... or in other words, all or nothing. There are some ND's that are asexual out there (some autistics probably are due to some with high tactile sensitivity and other olfactory senses being heightened especially regarding sexual physicality), but also hypersexual autistics like myself. I can't really speak for people with ADHD, etc because I don't function that way, but I'm sure some people in here could share what they've learnt about Neurodivergence and sex.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unchalMan
23 weeks ago

Dartford


"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one.

Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive.

I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD.

How are you all doing lately?"

This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erfectlychaoticWoman
23 weeks ago

Aldershot

Why is it redundant excuse my ignorance.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"I don't think it's black and white at all... or in other words, all or nothing. There are some ND's that are asexual out there (some autistics probably are due to some with high tactile sensitivity and other olfactory senses being heightened especially regarding sexual physicality), but also hypersexual autistics like myself. I can't really speak for people with ADHD, etc because I don't function that way, but I'm sure some people in here could share what they've learnt about Neurodivergence and sex."

Yes I agree on the asexual especially with sensory, perhaps those who are more on the ‘classic autism’ side in particular. My teenage nephew has classic autism and he seems totally oblivious to sexuality which is a relief really as I can imagine it would be quite frustrating and confusing otherwise.

I am wondering if it is high functioning Aspergers the ASD studies were really picking up, Aspies perhaps being a little more likely to be hypersexual

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one.

Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive.

I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD.

How are you all doing lately?

This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why? "

If you are going to state such a thing it would be good to elaborate?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rish FoxxMan
22 weeks ago

Dublin

Antidepressants are signal blockers and as such they are not exclusive to the signals they block...the same signals that cause depression are also the neurone transmitters that tell your brain to cum. The medication turns them off making it almost impossible to climax, try long slow build up, it helps

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
22 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire


"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one.

Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive.

I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD.

How are you all doing lately?

This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why? "

Back it up my guy. If you don't feel like doing it publically, free feel to PM. I'm curious why you think an inclusive thread is 'entirely redundant' - as are others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *esparate danMan
22 weeks ago

glasgow

Perhaps he means that people will continue to feel the same way or that it will create an echo chamber

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"Yes I agree on the asexual especially with sensory, perhaps those who are more on the ‘classic autism’ side in particular. My teenage nephew has classic autism and he seems totally oblivious to sexuality which is a relief really as I can imagine it would be quite frustrating and confusing otherwise.

I am wondering if it is high functioning Aspergers the ASD studies were really picking up, Aspies perhaps being a little more likely to be hypersexual "

I'm not sure what you mean exactly by "classic autism," but I look at autism as a spectrum of different/mixed traits that relate to the way the brain is wired and expressed in autistic people. But yea, it's probably to do with an overwhelming amount of things to process in the context of sex.

Yea I totally get what you're saying, it can be a really challenging thing to navigate in a neurotypically interactive world.

Possibly. I'm not on the Aspergers area on the spectrum, but I've read that these type of functioning autistic people find it a little easier to navigate life than some other types of functioning autistics, and so would make sense that they'd find it easier to have sexual relations with others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Central


"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one.

Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive.

I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD.

How are you all doing lately?

This is an entirely redundant thread. So, why? "

If people are posting, it's not redundant. As one of several threads, it's supportive of people not potentially feeling as isolated, as well as educational/informative of the ignorant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ilverandblonde 123Couple
22 weeks ago

tonbridge

Jen here.

I have adhd, BPD and autism.

All the letters haha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ortyairCouple
22 weeks ago

Wallasey

What conditions are classed as Nuerodivergent? My hubby had a small stroke a couple of years ago and it's affected him profoundly.

He has loads of issues, with lots of letters and takes lots of medication. He has issues with memory, attention span, executive function, cognitive reasoning amongst others.

Although they said he only had a small stroke, it's not in a great part of his head and that's why he's so impacted.

He has recently come off Sertralin, cold turkey, on the advice of his doctor even though we mentioned we didn't think he was supposed to.

His withdrawl symptoms seem horrific but he keeps soldiering on.

I know he was under the Aquired Brain Injury for significantly longer than normal. But there doesn't seem much more support out there for him.

This is not a pity party, it could have been so much worse, just wondering is he Neurodivergent and would he get more supportive he was? Thanks...

Mrs x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
22 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire


"What conditions are classed as Nuerodivergent? My hubby had a small stroke a couple of years ago and it's affected him profoundly..."

Neurodivergence (ND) is more of a social term rather than a medical term which conditions etc are gathered under. Technically yes, he would fall under the broad definition; but I don't think there is much in the way of help for ND generally. I haven't had much real world experience with people who've had strokes, but I did a little care work with some and the thing I saw help most was physical rehab. I'm not an expert, I don't claim or suggest what I'm saying is in anyway medically advised.

I'm sure you know there's specialised stroke help out there - like anything, it's having to fight for it. But under the ND umbrella, there is probably emotional, practical support for stroke recoveries. At the very least, you're welcome here for whatever you can gain from it - I hope it helps.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ortyairCouple
22 weeks ago

Wallasey

Thanks so much. Although he sees a physiotherapist, his physical problems are quite minor.

He has mild left sided weakness, uses a stick due to him having constant pain in his left side which becomes extremely painful after a short distance. He actually has nothing much wrong with his leg. However he sees a Nuerophysiotherapist because his brain is telling him he's in pain.

It's not a made up pain, it's very real but coming from his head and not his leg. The specialist says ots a bit like when amputees can still feel their removed limb. Even though his leg is basically OK his brain is constantly telling him his thigh is in pain.

Other than that he has really nothing physically wrong with him, well from a biomechanics point of view. If you saw him sitting down, you wouldn't know he's had a stroke.

Thanks again for responding. I'm just ranting now, feeling sorry for myself as well as him. Like I said though it could have been so much worse and I have no cause to complain.

Thanks again,

Mrs x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?"

Yes, not just on here but on all platforms and also in person as I'm very logical. On here or dating apps I struggle to turn a conversation to something more flirtatious.

I don't say anything in small talk as I had always seen it as pointless conversations or because I'm trying to think of a normal response to give but then the conversation has moved on and I get lost so I then switch off and just try to smile, laugh, look sad when I see others showing these emotions.

Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second.

One on one though I'm great, but only when I feel the person is actually interested in me otherwise I'm overthinking how to recover.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *J the bullMan
22 weeks ago

Washington


"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?"

On here no, normally much better initially via txt..

But currently having huge issues as having huge anxiety attacks triggered using phone and WhatsApp

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Central


"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?"

I often find it very difficult! I posted this earlier, as a reflection of me, when someone had asked about the site being 'wrong'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
22 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire


" Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second. "

You know that scene in the 2nd Matrix film, with Neo and the Architect in the room full of TV screens? That's what it's like for me, so I really relate to your cinema screen.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Central


"What conditions are classed as Nuerodivergent? My hubby had a small stroke a couple of years ago and it's affected him profoundly.

He has loads of issues, with lots of letters and takes lots of medication. He has issues with memory, attention span, executive function, cognitive reasoning amongst others.

Although they said he only had a small stroke, it's not in a great part of his head and that's why he's so impacted.

He has recently come off Sertralin, cold turkey, on the advice of his doctor even though we mentioned we didn't think he was supposed to.

His withdrawl symptoms seem horrific but he keeps soldiering on.

I know he was under the Aquired Brain Injury for significantly longer than normal. But there doesn't seem much more support out there for him.

This is not a pity party, it could have been so much worse, just wondering is he Neurodivergent and would he get more supportive he was? Thanks...

Mrs x"

He may have ND capacities and many people have never been diagnosed or possibly considered their differences from others. It's also possible that someone who is ND manages to mask more effectively prior to severe brain injuries, which may impair them. The stroke affects you, his loved ones as well as him - I feel for how hard it must be. Unfortunately, neurological health support is vastly under-resourced, so people may get fantastic care in the NHS initial crisis but they may then face a desert, once discharged. Stroke support is at least partially recognised, albeit that many younger sufferers are left isolated, with support often focused on more elderly people. It's largely not good enough though

I'd recommend looking at local support services, to at least evaluate whether there's anything more locally. I can PM you some ideas overall, if of interest.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


" Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second.

You know that scene in the 2nd Matrix film, with Neo and the Architect in the room full of TV screens? That's what it's like for me, so I really relate to your cinema screen."

Do you have it where inside your head you can like look up to the top right and see like a screen but it's a very visual memory playing like a film. Then say if in your mind you looked bottom left there is a different one playing and you can do this in all sections within your mind but they never over lap each other.

That's what it is like for me and if it's something that really has my attention or I'm trying to work something out or whatever it's right in front on the main screen.

I can like visualise dismantling or building something piece by piece like it's right in front of me. The real world sort of goes out of focus and I'm just in my head

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
22 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire

All of that, yep. For me it's the individual screens playing the what ifs, should have saids, what am I having for tea tonight, I forget cyrils birthday again, etc etc but when I focus on any one thing, yeah it's the main event.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *VNVNVCouple
22 weeks ago

London


"Do any of you ND's find it a challenge to navigate message interactions on here?"

Yes. I hate writing in these forums. Makes me long for a big fire that we all just sort of wander up to and start talking

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *VNVNVCouple
22 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 17/04/24 17:45:57]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *VNVNVCouple
22 weeks ago

London


"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them? "

THIS IS SUCH AN ADHD THING and almost no-one talks about it.

The MOMENT anything seems repetitive or boring, the vibe just... floof. Gone. And then you get stuck in a loop feeling bad that it's gone and then... and then...

fwiw, I have an equally shameful male version I think which is.that almost the instant I climax, my brain goes "Great. That's done. What next?"

I absolutely hate it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ivemealadybonerWoman
22 weeks ago

somewhere

I'm undiagnosed but autism and ADHD here (aswell as discalulus). Life can be a real struggle for me sometimes and obviously with doughnut being ADHD (being tested) life is even harder but we get through it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellinever70Woman
22 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"I'm undiagnosed but autism and ADHD here (aswell as discalulus). Life can be a real struggle for me sometimes and obviously with doughnut being ADHD (being tested) life is even harder but we get through it. "

Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ubikslongswordMan
22 weeks ago

East Grinstead


"I'm undiagnosed but autism and ADHD here (aswell as discalulus). Life can be a real struggle for me sometimes and obviously with doughnut being ADHD (being tested) life is even harder but we get through it.

Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know "

There are online assessments but they can't say you have or have not, but it can say you show tendancies and to see a doctor for diagnosis.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ivemealadybonerWoman
22 weeks ago

somewhere


"I'm undiagnosed but autism and ADHD here (aswell as discalulus). Life can be a real struggle for me sometimes and obviously with doughnut being ADHD (being tested) life is even harder but we get through it.

Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know "

Very fair question, as doughnut just said about the online tests, while it's not a diagnosis, I don't tend to go around informing people (I have mentioned it to my employers as it might explain to them a little while I get so upset if my little routine I have for myself is upset) but I think if you met me, you would probably go "oh yeah, I see it". Hope that helps? Two of my 3 sons also have ASD too, my siblings are also on the spectrum too, so it's something that I am very familiar with x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


" Have like a cinema screen in my head that all thoughts and memories get played on but because my mind goes 1000mph they change memory or scenario I'm building in my head like ever second.

You know that scene in the 2nd Matrix film, with Neo and the Architect in the room full of TV screens? That's what it's like for me, so I really relate to your cinema screen.

Do you have it where inside your head you can like look up to the top right and see like a screen but it's a very visual memory playing like a film. Then say if in your mind you looked bottom left there is a different one playing and you can do this in all sections within your mind but they never over lap each other.

That's what it is like for me and if it's something that really has my attention or I'm trying to work something out or whatever it's right in front on the main screen.

I can like visualise dismantling or building something piece by piece like it's right in front of me. The real world sort of goes out of focus and I'm just in my head"

Myself and others with ASD I have discussed it with quite often have this sort of thing. I describe it sometimes as 3 radios or TVs playing at once, but it is not constant all day for me thankfully.

I can also have such random incoming thoughts or memories whilst my mind is already busy. Let me give you a real recent example.

I was thinking about something I had to sort out but there was a song annoyingly playing in my head at same time totally unrelated to the other thought - but then a memory bursts in out of no where unrelated to either . Pear drop sweets from the 1980s, not just how they looked but taste and smell, really _ivid. That is how my ASD mind can be

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Some really interesting responses you fellow ND folks gave to my question. I appreciate all you're voluntary openness to be able to respond to it well.

For me, I think because a lot of the nuance gets left out of the interactions when texting, anyone could mean anything when sending a message or receiving one. I also find it easier to talk to others through texting, but I prefer in person conversations as I get a much clearer sense of who people are. And as I find navigating interactions similar to walking through a dark forest with a dimly lit light, I just feel like I'm being a bother to people, so in my real day to day life, I just tend to keep myself to myself and go about my day.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ortyairCouple
22 weeks ago

Wallasey


"What conditions are classed as Nuerodivergent? My hubby had a small stroke a couple of years ago and it's affected him profoundly.

He has loads of issues, with lots of letters and takes lots of medication. He has issues with memory, attention span, executive function, cognitive reasoning amongst others.

Although they said he only had a small stroke, it's not in a great part of his head and that's why he's so impacted.

He has recently come off Sertralin, cold turkey, on the advice of his doctor even though we mentioned we didn't think he was supposed to.

His withdrawl symptoms seem horrific but he keeps soldiering on.

I know he was under the Aquired Brain Injury for significantly longer than normal. But there doesn't seem much more support out there for him.

This is not a pity party, it could have been so much worse, just wondering is he Neurodivergent and would he get more supportive he was? Thanks...

Mrs x

He may have ND capacities and many people have never been diagnosed or possibly considered their differences from others. It's also possible that someone who is ND manages to mask more effectively prior to severe brain injuries, which may impair them. The stroke affects you, his loved ones as well as him - I feel for how hard it must be. Unfortunately, neurological health support is vastly under-resourced, so people may get fantastic care in the NHS initial crisis but they may then face a desert, once discharged. Stroke support is at least partially recognised, albeit that many younger sufferers are left isolated, with support often focused on more elderly people. It's largely not good enough though

I'd recommend looking at local support services, to at least evaluate whether there's anything more locally. I can PM you some ideas overall, if of interest. "

Thanks for your comments. He's doing OK but it looks like he's being left to his own devices now.

Just have to see what develops now. Doesn't look like it's getting worse, it's just not getting any better. This is his new normal now and that's OK,

Mrs x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Is there any ND's here that find it difficult to flirt?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"Is there any ND's here that find it difficult to flirt?"

Unfortunately, incredibly difficult

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tevieboyyyMan
22 weeks ago

Waterlooville

Male Empath.

If you are upset, I can feel it even if you are thousands of miles away.

Blessing and a curse.

Would not change it for the world.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *idnight_fantasyWoman
22 weeks ago

swansea

I’m audhd diagnosed

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
22 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire


"Male Empath.

If you are upset, I can feel it even if you are thousands of miles away.

Blessing and a curse.

Would not change it for the world."

Room full of people is literally like fighting a dense wall to get through sometimes?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellinever70Woman
22 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"Male Empath.

If you are upset, I can feel it even if you are thousands of miles away.

Blessing and a curse.

Would not change it for the world."

What kind of voodoo is this?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"Male Empath.

If you are upset, I can feel it even if you are thousands of miles away.

Blessing and a curse.

Would not change it for the world."

Yea it can be very difficult dealing with life when being so sensitive to everything. And it's definitely a blessing and a curse that's for sure fella. I just tend to spend a lot of my life in my own company and only interact with people when I sense there is less intensity of stimuli in the moment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"Room full of people is literally like fighting a dense wall to get through sometimes?"

Tell me about it chick

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikeC81Man
22 weeks ago

harrow

I have dyspraxia - had it since I was a kid. I can’t ride a bike or swim and often roll my ankles as I have minimal natural balance…

Does it affect my life…a little as I can’t do things that I wish I could. However I still work for a good firm, still go to football, still cook.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago

Hi neurospicy's. I hope your all well and doing you're best out there. Is everyone looking forward to the sunny warm weather just around the corner?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *antasiaFoxxCouple
21 weeks ago

Essex

For people with ADHD sex can be a dopamine fix and so often have higher sex drives and studies have shown that risky sex is sought

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
21 weeks ago


"For people with ADHD sex can be a dopamine fix and so often have higher sex drives and studies have shown that risky sex is sought "

Interesting, that along with higher levels of hypersexuality in ASD males I guess you can see why lot of ND in swinging scene

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obbob1351Man
21 weeks ago

walton

Diagnosed ADHD here. There’s definitely a link between people who do what we do and ADHD! Risk takers and thrill seekers unite!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Because I don't really fully understand the Neurotypical social map that well, I always think and feel I'm just bothering the people that I'm interested in potentially meeting, as I don't really get any of the social nuances. I totally get it's near enough competition with all men on here, but messaging is such a minefield. I've tried many times and haven't really got anywhere. Because people on here are so different, it's almost impossible to gauge what to chat with them about.

Do any of you ND's feel the same and just leave messaging to forums or chatrooms and not direct messages? I feel it's easier to engage and interact through forums and a little bit as well through chatrooms.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heBlowinsCouple
20 weeks ago

West Cork


"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them?

THIS IS SUCH AN ADHD THING and almost no-one talks about it.

The MOMENT anything seems repetitive or boring, the vibe just... floof. Gone. And then you get stuck in a loop feeling bad that it's gone and then... and then...

fwiw, I have an equally shameful male version I think which is.that almost the instant I climax, my brain goes "Great. That's done. What next?"

I absolutely hate it"

OMFG I (Mr.) assumed there must be other people who experience this but to read it written as if I wrote it..

Thank you for this post (and this whole (totally not redundant) thread)!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

So is the boredom with oral a female ADHD in many people or do ADHD men also get bored receiving oral?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rimal InstinctCouple
20 weeks ago

Carlisle

Hi!

I've always thought I was different. I have two kids with ASD and another with suspected ADHD. I've always thought I'm ADHD, but I had a fellow neurodivergent friend say 'god yes, you are ND.' so that shook me up a bit as I thought I was different but didn't realise it was that apparent.

I've had part of my brain tumour surgically removed (benign) and I think that has made me involuntary take some of my masking away as I've had other things that I've needed to concentrate on and concentration at the moment has been really difficult.

So hi. That's me in a nut shell and I didn't waffle too much. Yey, go me

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rimal InstinctCouple
20 weeks ago

Carlisle


"So is the boredom with oral a female ADHD in many people or do ADHD men also get bored receiving oral? "

For me it depends on the person. I have to say the Mr knows exactly what he is doing. With him, I LOVE receiving oral.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heBlowinsCouple
20 weeks ago

West Cork


"So is the boredom with oral a female ADHD in many people or do ADHD men also get bored receiving oral? "

It affects me (Mr.) no matter who's giving it to me. Isn't just with oral though. If we're doing any position longer than a few minutes, I start losing the drive and need to switch it up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uttymonkeyMan
20 weeks ago

devon

I get uncomfortable often with new people when in receiving and much prefer to give. Think it's either that in the spotlight thing or I'm dying to want to work my magic and hear and feel the results of which does it for me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
20 weeks ago

.

I’m diagnosed ASD + ADHD. I wanted to pop my head into this thread to show support for fellow neurodivergents, but I won’t be hanging around because I’m really struggling with some of the language being used. Lots of it is outdated and/or ableist and I’m finding it super triggering. Hello from me, my inbox is there should anyone need neurospicy support

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ivemealadybonerWoman
20 weeks ago

somewhere


"So is the boredom with oral a female ADHD in many people or do ADHD men also get bored receiving oral?

For me it depends on the person. I have to say the Mr knows exactly what he is doing. With him, I LOVE receiving oral.

Mrs"

Just wondering if this is why I'm not into loads of foreplay and long sessions?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
20 weeks ago

Adhd dyslexia dyspraxia and boy is that a fun combination

The biggest set back is not giving a fuck about small talk or if the subject don't interest me I'm out which means you just can't strike up a conversation you go quiet and nodd whilst thinking did I adjust that left rear strut enough lol

I never thought about the oral I rarely accept Oral as it doesn't do much for me yet I love giving it and seeing a woman squirm so that's a good question

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *urreyGuy19792Man
19 weeks ago

Egham

Hello fellow NDs! ADHD here. I’m not sure what OH WAIT LOOK AT THAT SQUIRREL!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lue and booCouple
18 weeks ago

Derby


"I've been diagnosed since I was a kid with the inattentive type. Perpetual space cadet."

I think my child has the inattentive type. Currently on a long waiting list….. I’ve tried reading about it but it doesn’t seem as “common” (or maybe it’s more undiagnosed) so there’s much less information about it. Would love to know of ways I can possibly help him if anyone has any suggestions?

J

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heBlowinsCouple
18 weeks ago

West Cork


"Hello fellow NDs! ADHD here. I’m not sure what OH WAIT LOOK AT THAT SQUIRREL! "

SQUIRREL?? WHAT! WHERE!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *WokMan
18 weeks ago

Wood Green

oh boy i got adhd and asd so really happy to find this place

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ane69Man
18 weeks ago

Perth

Hi all, I'm Michael, fairly new here, new to this while thing though.

Diagnosed Autistic 5 years ago now, and alrhough not official ive many overlaps with ADHD. Makes the struggle more difficult as still adjusting.

Nice to find this space though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uttymonkeyMan
18 weeks ago

devon

Anyone also struggle with fibro / me / ms / lupus?

Basically does the exhaustion and constant pain affect your interactions with others here?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
18 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire


"Anyone also struggle with fibro / me / ms / lupus?

Basically does the exhaustion and constant pain affect your interactions with others here?"

That's exactly why we're taking a break from meets at the moment. Dealing with pain on a daily basis not knowing when there's gonna be a bit of respite, or even what's caused it this time round is absolutely draining.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
18 weeks ago

I was diagnosed at 44….

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Hi all ND's, how is everyone doing and are you all having any luck with meets on fab?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untressFlidaisWoman
17 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear


"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them? "

Sometimes yes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untressFlidaisWoman
17 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear


"Also wondering if the antidepressants are the reason I've never properly orgasmed.

I love sex, I can squirt. Butnive only ever felt that "wave" once.. and god I want more..

Darent risk coming off them tho. Accidently halved one of them feb/March. Nearly wasn't here a couple of times. "

Yeah mine numb me. I did a little experiment once. Stayed on my mood stabisers but came off my anti d's for a little while and that wave came back full force. I miss it but like you it's not worth the consequences

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untressFlidaisWoman
17 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear

Hi guys, ADHDer here with a little garnish of Bipolar Disorder.

Has anyone else found they are more stable and grounded in this lifestyle. It's made a huge difference to my coping mechanisms and securing that Dopamine hit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"Hi guys, ADHDer here with a little garnish of Bipolar Disorder.

Has anyone else found they are more stable and grounded in this lifestyle. It's made a huge difference to my coping mechanisms and securing that Dopamine hit "

Hey Bertha, I hope you're well.

Hm, that's a good question. There is definitely something that I'm fulfilling through it if that makes sense? I tend to keep my sexuality and sexual life to myself outside of fab, so I guess it is a way for me to meet those sexual needs if or when they arise, but also hopefully through meeting people irl from here too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ivemealadybonerWoman
17 weeks ago

somewhere


"Hi all ND's, how is everyone doing and are you all having any luck with meets on fab?"

I've taken a break for various reasons, one of which is I'm navigating this new found acception of how my brain is wired, until I started this testing process I just always thought I had my little ways that were (I mean they still are) unique to me, so now I'm learning to navigate them and one of them is being open and honest with doughnut (we both are tbh), for example I would be in the kitchen trying to cook, read the back of a box, he would come in with his phone on loudly on a video and talking to me and I would get annoyed and upset by everything going on but how I can say "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, can we do one thing at once" or the other day we was cutting my hair, he was holding the mirror for me but had a video playing and my senses we're all over the place, volume, what was happening, I could see the video, so I asked if he could put some music on instead and it helped.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrimper36Couple
17 weeks ago

Central France dept 36


"Hi all ND's, how is everyone doing and are you all having any luck with meets on fab?

I've taken a break for various reasons, one of which is I'm navigating this new found acception of how my brain is wired, until I started this testing process I just always thought I had my little ways that were (I mean they still are) unique to me, so now I'm learning to navigate them and one of them is being open and honest with doughnut (we both are tbh), for example I would be in the kitchen trying to cook, read the back of a box, he would come in with his phone on loudly on a video and talking to me and I would get annoyed and upset by everything going on but how I can say "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, can we do one thing at once" or the other day we was cutting my hair, he was holding the mirror for me but had a video playing and my senses we're all over the place, volume, what was happening, I could see the video, so I asked if he could put some music on instead and it helped. "

I suggest you say exactly that and let your partner know exactly where you are at because the most inane and seemingly stupid things can at times overwhelm us and knock us sideways.

Eve with my help and openness can read me and understand me which helps me massively and brings me back down quicker.

T

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ivemealadybonerWoman
17 weeks ago

somewhere


"Hi all ND's, how is everyone doing and are you all having any luck with meets on fab?

I've taken a break for various reasons, one of which is I'm navigating this new found acception of how my brain is wired, until I started this testing process I just always thought I had my little ways that were (I mean they still are) unique to me, so now I'm learning to navigate them and one of them is being open and honest with doughnut (we both are tbh), for example I would be in the kitchen trying to cook, read the back of a box, he would come in with his phone on loudly on a video and talking to me and I would get annoyed and upset by everything going on but how I can say "I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, can we do one thing at once" or the other day we was cutting my hair, he was holding the mirror for me but had a video playing and my senses we're all over the place, volume, what was happening, I could see the video, so I asked if he could put some music on instead and it helped.

I suggest you say exactly that and let your partner know exactly where you are at because the most inane and seemingly stupid things can at times overwhelm us and knock us sideways.

Eve with my help and openness can read me and understand me which helps me massively and brings me back down quicker.

T"

I am getting much better at expressing myself if I'm feeling overwhelmed, over stimulated and it's helping me to be happier in the process. At work I'm totally different, I can have a fan going, a customer talking to me with someone having a conversation next to me which is strange because at home that can lead to me unable to think or speak.

It's a much nicer environment at home being able to identify what's wrong now.

It also helped our relationship no end, with doughnut ADHD too, when he hyperfocuses on something, for example his driving instructor was 'late' picking him up the other day, he wasn't he was in time, got there exactly at 8.30 but because he wasn't there when the clock struck 8.30 (he text me at exactly 8.30 and said he was late lol), even though he had a great lesson but there were few things he needed to improve on, like coming in too hot at roundabouts (something I had told him too) but the thing he has taken away from it is time keeping, I asked what would help to overcome that, as yet he hasn't found an answer but I know it's really bothering him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orthern_nudieMan
17 weeks ago

leeds

Pushing for an official diagnosis but suspected it for a long time. Glad for a little space to talk to others in the community

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ayPrimeMan
15 weeks ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 05/06/24 19:19:51]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ayPrimeMan
15 weeks ago

Leeds

I have come to realise I may also have comorbid CPTSD, am consulting with my GP over it.

I was diagnosed ADHD Combined Sub-Type three years ago; it helped answer a lot of question and come to terms with a few things but now I’m mostly like “OK, so what do I do now?”

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he turned me GreyCouple
15 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Hi I'm flip flop, and I identify as a dyslexic

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rAngryPantzMan
15 weeks ago

near you.

I have dual type ADHD. Diagnosed, properly, by the actual NHS (which took two years ) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly.

Medicated with 70mg Elvanse and it’s a god send.

I was diagnosed at 40. The sudden realisation that the way I thought and things I did/still do aren’t actually ‘my fault’ was a massive weight off my shoulders. And that pill every morning. *chefs kiss*

I do sometimes miss being able to have 28464828292 thoughts at the same time though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *omefeelmeupCouple
15 weeks ago

Leicester

Two more neuro spicy here.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *spenUpForFunWoman
15 weeks ago

Normanton

I'm also ASD... just wanted to say hi

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ayPrimeMan
15 weeks ago

Leeds


"I have dual type ADHD. Diagnosed, properly, by the actual NHS (which took two years ) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly. "

I was diagnosed by a private doctor.

Oh god. Does this mean I don’t have ADHD? Oh, back to square one then. I must just be a fuck up.

Back to the confusion and self loathing again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unglevipsCouple
15 weeks ago

Bunham-On-Sea


"I have dual type ADHD. Diagnosed, properly, by the actual NHS (which took two years ) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly.

I was diagnosed by a private doctor.

Oh god. Does this mean I don’t have ADHD? Oh, back to square one then. I must just be a fuck up.

Back to the confusion and self loathing again. "

You’ll probably find that private dr also works for the NHS. I’ve seen drs privately before now to bypass their clinic waiting times. It’s still the same so to and expertise.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ayPrimeMan
15 weeks ago

Leeds


"I have dual type ADHD. Diagnosed, properly, by the actual NHS (which took two years ) not by a random private doctor who hands out diagnosis’ willy nilly.

I was diagnosed by a private doctor.

Oh god. Does this mean I don’t have ADHD? Oh, back to square one then. I must just be a fuck up.

Back to the confusion and self loathing again.

You’ll probably find that private dr also works for the NHS. I’ve seen drs privately before now to bypass their clinic waiting times. It’s still the same so to and expertise. "

I was being facetious, thank you for swooping in there though.

It’s very risky to throw opinions around about the validity of someone else’s diagnosis. You might be right, well done. You might be wrong and send someone back down the spiral of confusion and self-doubt.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atureSensualgentMan
15 weeks ago

Somewhere near

Another one here, not diagnosed, during my son's diagnosis at a young age we realised both of us are asd and adhd been very hesitant to share tho, in my profession life it's very much discriminated against. For insurance reasons, however it's a real advantage for me as I tend to excel in preemptive thinking preparation precision and organisational side.

When it cums to my sex life, I really believe we are high performers in general, I've always had an incredibly high sex drive. Maybe I'm being delusional here but it's whats in me head, so great to share thanks for this post love the comments.

Mind you it's taken me many years to get to where I am with my understanding and consciousness of myself.

Lots of love to all you amazing fabbers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otInventedHereMan
15 weeks ago

West Midlands

Now 18 months in on the waiting list for an NHS diagnosis. I have ADHD, dysgraphia and probably ASD in the mix too. Also have CPTSD from the trauma of growing up ND in the 70’s and 80’s and being trapped in an abusive relationship for most of the 90’s.

Question for those on meds for ADHD. I currently take Venlafaxine for my anxiety and it works well for me. How well do antidepressants play with ADHD meds? Did you have to come off an antidepressant before taking ADHD meds or do the work well together?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *idnightMischiefMan
15 weeks ago

London

Haven't posted in a thread like this for a while, but I'm late diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, ADHD and Dyspraxia.

I don't think I look autistic, but I probably smell autistic.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mber and Fire OP   Couple
14 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire

Until recently our neurospiciness has been somewhat compatible and complimentary to our relationship. But for various - none nefarious - reasons, my ASD and Lou's ADHD are clashing like crazy at the moment. It's frustrating because once we get down to whatever usually little issue it is we realise we're in agreement, it's just taking a bit more time and patience to understand what the other is saying.

But where we've also been in sync with hobbies, plans and holidays that's also taken a hit. In short I'm restless and need to do things, and for the passed 12 years I've done everything with Lou. I'm so out of touch with doing things just for myself, and making plans to do alone is all a bit alien.

So recommendations folks, what's interesting in and around the UK that I can visit by myself and enjoy? Open to any sort of suggestions as I'm looking to expand my admittedly narrow range of interests.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Hay, I've got ASD and ADHD. It's difficult having both, it's like a constant argument with yourself and you always lose that argument.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untressFlidaisWoman
14 weeks ago

Tyne and Wear

I am going through a similar thing with hubby at the moment. He has recently been diagnosed ASD and he is struggling to manage tgat. It has changed our dynamic. He is really struggling but I am also struggling as I am feeling very overwhelmed by tge change and feel like running.

I have started having the occasional weekend away. Just to myself. Sometimes all i need is time alone. Sometimes I want excitement. I tend to travel where there us going to be a club night.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *idnightMischiefMan
14 weeks ago

London


"

Out of curiosity, if you are undiagnosed, how do you know "

Very few people go around questioning whether they might be autistic or ADHD without good reason.

Until they are diagnosed, it's really just a suspected diagnosis, but there are a load of professionally used screening tests available online that are fairly good indicators.

There's a website called aspietests.org that has most of the autism screening tools.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ngel-ishWoman
14 weeks ago

Colchester

Is it OK talk PTSd too? what is anyone's opinion on rejection dysphoria?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ngel-ishWoman
14 weeks ago

Colchester

Is there any way of getting EMDR like when therapists are trying,at reduced cost. Min 1 year wait in N Essex NHS

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hamfamCouple
14 weeks ago

Aylesbury

For any WeareX / KK members there is actually a Neurospicy group chat, if you are members hit me up and i’ll ask for you to be added

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elaninMaverickWoman
14 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"As there isn't really a place for us to flock together, and the old ND thread doesn't seem to have been carried on - here's a new one.

Chat, advice, rant, support - whatever. But let's keep it respectful and inclusive.

I'm Drew, I'm ASD and pushing for an official diagnosis (what a ballache) and my wife Lou is ADHD.

How are you all doing lately?"

I've been away for a bit from eh forums dealing with my own...traits

NHS diagnosed with Borderline/Emotionally unstable personality disorder in 2013

NHS diagnosed with online video assessment with Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 2 in February 2024

Complex Childhood PTSD not diagnosed but I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father so um...that's probably obvious.

my treatment: Meds and lots and lots of therapy.

DBT- 12 weeks rolling mini course for 6 months. ( DBT is supposed to be 2 years long for the best effect)

MBT- 18 months of 2.5 hours every week....apart from annual leave..in a group and in an individual one to one session alone. I did mine during the pandemic online. It's more effective in person.

Lots of books on psychological treatment.

Antidepressants and a mood stabiliser. Just come of the mood stabaliser....brutal withdrawal symptoms but I'm determined.

Outdoor Personal trainer once a week, "exercise". I cycles and swim and do ridiculously long walks in Richmond park. I hate running and the gym for some reason increases my anxiety. I do a manual job for 16 hours so I dont' have to go to extra gym sessions. lol!

Something fun outside once a week. Dancing, Swinger groups. Nudism/naturism groups.

Weekly psychotherapist through Better/help and weekly support group through the NHS and a charity. BetterHelp also has groups that you can attend through your subscription 24/7.

Disability government assistance. Whether it's finding a job or claiming PIP or ESA or the sickness element of universal credit.

My company's HR wellbeing checklist and occupational health. Unfortunately, a lot of managers are clueless and need an Employment law kick up the back side.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elaninMaverickWoman
14 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Is there any way of getting EMDR like when therapists are trying,at reduced cost. Min 1 year wait in N Essex NHS"

If you are on benefits or on a low income, contact around EDMR therapists in your local area to see if they will do a reduced cost for low incomes. Might need to show them your bank statement or benefit letter.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elaninMaverickWoman
14 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Is it OK talk PTSd too? what is anyone's opinion on rejection dysphoria?"

yes PTSD alters your brain development and brain chemistry.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elaninMaverickWoman
14 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"I am going through a similar thing with hubby at the moment. He has recently been diagnosed ASD and he is struggling to manage tgat. It has changed our dynamic. He is really struggling but I am also struggling as I am feeling very overwhelmed by tge change and feel like running.

I have started having the occasional weekend away. Just to myself. Sometimes all i need is time alone. Sometimes I want excitement. I tend to travel where there us going to be a club night. "

What does he do on a daily/weekly/monthly basis to manage it?

refer to my post about how I manage mine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elaninMaverickWoman
14 weeks ago

near Putney Heath


"Hay, I've got ASD and ADHD. It's difficult having both, it's like a constant argument with yourself and you always lose that argument."

I don't argue. I negotiate.

Let me introduce you to my inner children

BPD inner toddler MM and Autistic inner toddler MM

BPD MM wants to punch everyone in the face and Autistic MM wants to run away and hide from everyone.

So I talk to my inner child like I would to a toddler. Toddlers also have a problem regulating their emotions, thought and behaviours.

That out-of-control feeling or thinking or behaviour is often because of a need that hasn't been met. If we meet the need in a healthy adaptive functional way, we feel better...sometimes instantly sometimes it takes work ( I was in therapy for 18 months working on it)

So if you need to stim do it. If you need to take a break do it. If you need to exercise to get rid of extra energy do it. If you need to shut off the world for 4 hours a week to focus on your special interest do it.

I have bare minimum days where I just do basic self-care and nothing else...this is usually a day that I don't have to go to work or attend my NHS support groups.

I call it self re-parenting. It's about me learning how to get my brain to work and how to meet needs that were not met by my parents even though they did the best they could.

Also sometimes...like a toddler..you just need a nap. Lol!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ngel-ishWoman
14 weeks ago

Colchester

Thank you so much x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rAngryPantzMan
13 weeks ago

near you.

That probably came across wrong. Apologies. It’s just become a thing with private doctors diagnosing it too easily. It was in the news a while back.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *neforutoMan
13 weeks ago

Fantasy land in the SW


"Also.. any others get bored when people go down on them? "

Yup, although paradoxically oral is def my thing. I like to mix it up a bit and prefer the more 'willing to experiment' partners with tongues, fingers and toys

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vasexperimentWoman
12 weeks ago

huddersfield


"Good afternoon everyone on the thread.

I put a comment the other day that I have mild autism and ADHD. I just wanted to share a message of support for everyone who has ever been treated differently because of their condition. Even though it’s wrong, the discrimination you can face, you’ve got to rise above it and just be yourself.

I’ve been treated differently by people a lot in life, mostly in social situations because I seem really awkward. I’m a lot better socially now because I cope a lot better with ASD.

I wish everyone who feels like their condition will determine their life: don’t let it. Focus on your strengths, and you can achieve anything.

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *airy_HettyWoman
11 weeks ago

Greater London


"Now 18 months in on the waiting list for an NHS diagnosis. I have ADHD, dysgraphia and probably ASD in the mix too. Also have CPTSD from the trauma of growing up ND in the 70’s and 80’s and being trapped in an abusive relationship for most of the 90’s.

Question for those on meds for ADHD. I currently take Venlafaxine for my anxiety and it works well for me. How well do antidepressants play with ADHD meds? Did you have to come off an antidepressant before taking ADHD meds or do the work well together?"

ADHD Med and antidepressants can work fine together. Good luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *sa22Man
11 weeks ago

Luton

Hello all, it's great to see a thread like this as someone who is ASD and also most likely ADD. I've been waiting at least 12 months at the moment for some sort of diagnosis and it's just chaotic at best

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tevieboyyyMan
7 days ago

Waterlooville

Most of my friends are neurodivergent, so is my partner, I am not (explanation below).

I am a-typical male Empath. Feel everything, energy, and people's vibes and intentions.

Hence most of my friends are neurodivergent as they tell the truth and don't goof about.

Do have a few non-neurodivergent friends, they have open hearts and just lovely.

Not everyone is perfect, and have had a few friends burn bright, and snuff out after a year - but better than to have now knowing them.

Questions?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *utteredBreadMan
6 days ago

Manchester

Haven't been diagnosed with anything yet, but doctor said I showed symptoms of autism. Can't say I'm surprised and would probably explain a lot. Most of my friends are ND and I get on most with ND folk. Happy there's a place to find others who are ND.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atyric0nMan
6 days ago

Ipswich

Reprezenting! 🤍🤍🤍

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cnugatugMan
5 days ago

Chatham

Hi all Dennis was diagnosed with a.d.d at 11 been on medication in the past until I turned 16 decided to come off everything and have dealt with it on my own since recently I have noticed it has started acting up again (losing focus, making strange voices) I am also in the process off being diagnosed with possible bi polar disorder 3 and borderline personality disorder my head has been so full it's hard to think but am seeking help anyway just wanted to say hi and tbh never really got involved in posts or groups like this I tend to hide away because I don't want to be labelled weird

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *im and VigourCouple
4 days ago

Chester

Hello, Mrs Vim here... neurospicy and officially diagnosed ADHD person. Never ever before had attributed my inability to orgasm with anything other than VERY fixed, focused and prolonged stimulation to my ADHD, and it's been an enormous relief to realise it, and to openly explain to others that oral and penetrative sex won't get me there... but toys will. My God, I had an epiphany the other day, I suddenly realised what I'd been missing all this time... it's been a game-changer 🙂

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *tevieboyyyMan
4 hours ago

Waterlooville


"Hello, Mrs Vim here..."

Takes a while to get my partner orgasm without using a labour saving device. I encourage her to do box breathing/breath work speeds things up.

ex-FWB, took a good 15 mins plus a few hours of foreplay to get her to orgasm manually without toys. Was quite happy to give the attention - and she was quite surprised of the outcome.

I'm in tune with my body, and with anyone who I touch or are near.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top