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"That's downright stalker ish, sorry you had that. How the hell did they find her FB account though?. I have seen on threads before, where people have searched photos that are on here and people have had them on other sites and been found that way. Why can't people just respect others privacy? " We have absolutely no idea. The profile is completely blank, no photos or information. The couple we spoke to were an older couple very mature and respectful, been in the lifestyle for years. Only gave them our first names and Fab name as they offered to leave us a verification since this is all still new to us. They also were definitely not there the first time we went as they were very recognisable. We also don't have any full face pics on here that are public, closest we have is our display, but I still wouldn't say Boo is very recognisable as she wears a full face of make up and has piercings that can't be seen in that photo. And the only pic that is on our social media that is also here is private and is on my profile, not Boo's. Obviously they could find the connection there but it just seems unlikely. Especially the fact they asked if she had a fab profile. It's all just very unsettling | |||
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"I don't think it's a coincidence that this happened after going to a club, I just can't work out how they've got your partners name to search her out on FB. You can't really identify her from fab I don't think. I'm not suprised it's freaking you both out. " That's exactly what's bothered us too. And the fact this person hasn't got a picture or anything, it's very creepy behaviour that would make anyoen uncomfortable. Boo was really worked up over it last night and as I was working the night shift, she was home alone with our child so felt incredibly unsafe. We don't speak to single men on here and it's partly why so we've turned messages off. If they'd have been honest and not hiding behind anonymity, while still a bit disrespectful tracking her down on social media and messaging, it would be less unsettling as we could see who it is. I'm racking my brain trying to think if we saw any of the same people twice other than staff. There was some of the same staff members there on both occasions but I just don't find this likely but will definitely be vigilant about it, that's if we ever go again after all of this | |||
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"I don't think it's a coincidence that this happened after going to a club, I just can't work out how they've got your partners name to search her out on FB. You can't really identify her from fab I don't think. I'm not suprised it's freaking you both out. That's exactly what's bothered us too. And the fact this person hasn't got a picture or anything, it's very creepy behaviour that would make anyoen uncomfortable. Boo was really worked up over it last night and as I was working the night shift, she was home alone with our child so felt incredibly unsafe. We don't speak to single men on here and it's partly why so we've turned messages off. If they'd have been honest and not hiding behind anonymity, while still a bit disrespectful tracking her down on social media and messaging, it would be less unsettling as we could see who it is. I'm racking my brain trying to think if we saw any of the same people twice other than staff. There was some of the same staff members there on both occasions but I just don't find this likely but will definitely be vigilant about it, that's if we ever go again after all of this" It's just such a shame all this has tainted your experience of going to a club, but I totally get it. The other thing I could think of is, have you swapped numbers with anyone? Sometimes it links socials to your number if you have it on FB. It's all v creepy and underhand behaviour, whoever they are op. | |||
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"Guessing which club this was, I very very much doubt it’ll be a member of staff - maybe worth discussing it with them on your next visit? I’d try not let it put you off and just put it down to really shitty coincidence. " We doubt this too but can't stop our minds running wild. We had a fun time and love the atmosphere, just feels a bit tarnished right now. Always someone put there to ruin the fun | |||
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"i havent got FB but if i did i'd be setting my account to private and checking privacy settings. Likewise here on fab , go to privacy section and block google from tracking you." We've just done this. Thanks for the advice! | |||
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"One club we used to visit once stated our real names quite loudly in the public foyer as we signed in and they also asked for our Fab name during the sign up process. Later that night a guy we spoke to commented on one of our FB posts! I’d be very suspicious of the clubs data security and that’s where I’d be looking first. " When we arrived we were told to hang back as other customers were being signed up so we didn't hear their personal details. They also have only asked our Fab name when we booked tickets for our event and never in person. | |||
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"Unlikely I know but are any of your fab pictures on Facebook or have you shared phone numbers or emails with this man?" The only one that is is set to private. We'll probably just remove it to be safe now. But it doesn't feel like it's someone who's come from here, definitely feels like someone who has seen us while at the club. We don't share emails or numbers with anyone. We've honestly not really had much luck here and only share numbers/snapchat etc with people we've chatted to for a while on here to make setting meets up easier. Again we don't even know who he is, could even be a woman or anything. They're hiding behind a blank profile so could be anyone and we wouldn't know. | |||
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"Creepy as fuck, I'd personally reply being friendly and say yes I do, was you there that night, shame we missed you, what's your user name so I can add you......then report and block. Mrs " Haha this might be a good idea. It is super creepy though, it's made us very uncomfortable | |||
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"Creepy as fuck, I'd personally reply being friendly and say yes I do, was you there that night, shame we missed you, what's your user name so I can add you......then report and block. Mrs " Also make sure her profile is locked down, no public info, work, places visited often, family members listed etc. Mrs | |||
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"Creepy as fuck, I'd personally reply being friendly and say yes I do, was you there that night, shame we missed you, what's your user name so I can add you......then report and block. Mrs Also make sure her profile is locked down, no public info, work, places visited often, family members listed etc. Mrs " We'll do this, thanks for the info | |||
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"Unlikely I know but are any of your fab pictures on Facebook or have you shared phone numbers or emails with this man? The only one that is is set to private. We'll probably just remove it to be safe now. But it doesn't feel like it's someone who's come from here, definitely feels like someone who has seen us while at the club. We don't share emails or numbers with anyone. We've honestly not really had much luck here and only share numbers/snapchat etc with people we've chatted to for a while on here to make setting meets up easier. Again we don't even know who he is, could even be a woman or anything. They're hiding behind a blank profile so could be anyone and we wouldn't know. " I'd say despite your suspicions that it's someone you've given your number to and who's had access to your private pictures at some point. Is your partner's Facebook synched to contacts. Don't forget meta run WhatsApp too. | |||
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"Unlikely I know but are any of your fab pictures on Facebook or have you shared phone numbers or emails with this man? The only one that is is set to private. We'll probably just remove it to be safe now. But it doesn't feel like it's someone who's come from here, definitely feels like someone who has seen us while at the club. We don't share emails or numbers with anyone. We've honestly not really had much luck here and only share numbers/snapchat etc with people we've chatted to for a while on here to make setting meets up easier. Again we don't even know who he is, could even be a woman or anything. They're hiding behind a blank profile so could be anyone and we wouldn't know. I'd say despite your suspicions that it's someone you've given your number to and who's had access to your private pictures at some point. Is your partner's Facebook synched to contacts. Don't forget meta run WhatsApp too. " We've only given our number to 2 people I think, and snapchat to 1. We haven't ever had many friends on here and definitely no men as it's not what we're looking for. Although it could be anyone. It's just very coincidental that this has happened after we had been to the club and the fact they mention Fab, we just felt super paranoid so came here to vent about the whole situation. No we don't sync our Facebook to contacts as we both dislike that feature anyway. We do have WhatsApp though as use it for work | |||
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" We also don't have any full face pics on here that are public" You might not have any full face pics but I think the half of the male pic you have here is quite identifiable and your profile says the female has facial piercings. Anyone who already knows you as a couple, seeing you on here, could then find her on Facebook. I think being at the club is a coincidence. | |||
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"Unlikely I know but are any of your fab pictures on Facebook or have you shared phone numbers or emails with this man? The only one that is is set to private. We'll probably just remove it to be safe now. But it doesn't feel like it's someone who's come from here, definitely feels like someone who has seen us while at the club. We don't share emails or numbers with anyone. We've honestly not really had much luck here and only share numbers/snapchat etc with people we've chatted to for a while on here to make setting meets up easier. Again we don't even know who he is, could even be a woman or anything. They're hiding behind a blank profile so could be anyone and we wouldn't know. I'd say despite your suspicions that it's someone you've given your number to and who's had access to your private pictures at some point. Is your partner's Facebook synched to contacts. Don't forget meta run WhatsApp too. We've only given our number to 2 people I think, and snapchat to 1. We haven't ever had many friends on here and definitely no men as it's not what we're looking for. Although it could be anyone. It's just very coincidental that this has happened after we had been to the club and the fact they mention Fab, we just felt super paranoid so came here to vent about the whole situation. No we don't sync our Facebook to contacts as we both dislike that feature anyway. We do have WhatsApp though as use it for work " My contacts/ FB/ WhatsApp are not synced but I’ve 100% had ‘suggested friends’ on FB who I’ve WhatsApped on more than one occasion. | |||
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"Another possibility - did you go to the club in a cab booked by phone? " Good suggestion | |||
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"Went to our local Swingers club for the first time to sign up at an open evening at the end of January. Went again to our first event (purely social) a couple of days ago. As we were getting our things out of the lockers, Boo realised she had a friend request on her Facebook from someone and they had gone back and liked a pic of her from around 10 years ago. We just thought it was a weird typical Facebook creeper at first. Very generic sounding name and no profile pic or info. Boo denied the friend request and then she got another later on that evening. She left it as an invite and left it at that. Yesterday she mentioned that they had cancelled the request again. Probably hoping she'd see it. Then late last night she got a message from this guy asking if she had a fab account. She looked back and she actually had a couple of messages from him. The first was from a couple of days after we had been to the club then she had gotten another on the night we were there this week saying 'greedy girl' and an eyes emoji. It's really freaked her out as she doesn't feel safe and she was super insecure about going to clubs in the first place but had built up the confidence to finally go only for this asshole to ruin it. The fact that Fab was mentioned too makes her feel like she can't trust this site now too. I've tried messaging the profile myself asking who they are and why are they messaging her but to no avail. I can't stand people like this and the uneasy feeling it has given Boo has made my blood boil. Has anyone else come across this kind of thing? " ---------------- It may well have been someone in the club who recognised you from real life, but you don't necessarily know? I had a similar experience when someone who delivered to my workplace, mentioned seeing me at a club many miles from where I lived at the time. They knew my name but I'd not have remembered what they looked like. If you have an unusual surname (as I do) you'd be easy to find on FB x | |||
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"Hey! Hoping this won't bring you back to the headspace you were in 6 weeks ago but we're currently going through our version of this (seems to be part of the onboarding experience of Fab) - as a couple that are 6 weeks ahead of us, any chance you've rationalised this further and got any advice on how to get past the sense of danger that comes with it? One of us finds some comfort in the lack of control that is in the situation and the other one (definitely not me) is freaaaaking out. We assume the obvious answer is these pests are online creeps and not an actual threat and giving that we all get our turn and we're all still here, give it time and it'll be alright. " Hey! So we never really got to the bottom of this. We went to another event last week and the same person messaged me (Gray) this time. I'd left messaged unblocked from this person hoping they would message back and I could get to the bottom of it. They messaged us while we were at the event just like previous times. Upon getting ready to leave the club I noticed the message and alerted the staff at the desk. They are looking into the matter every seriously. I actually messaged them back saying their behaviour is creep and unwarranted and is putting Boo off the lifestyle, they said it was lighthearted fun and I said it's not, that they could be absolutely anyone and we have no idea who they are and it's terrifying. I said that if they wanted to get to know us they should have come up to us at the club or found us on here and sent a message instead of hiding behind a blank profile. I also said that they must have seen us out and tried messaging Boo on social media and now she's blocked them so their messaging me instead which is out of order. They just said well they looked on here too so admitted they were there by not denying it basically. I've since reported all correspondence with this person to the club and they're investigating and taking it seriously. I've also now blocked this person too. It's kind of put Boo off from going back as we had only just dipped out toes in and between her already being anxious about this, this person on top of it all has kinda ruined the experience. I really hope you manage to get to the bottom of it. I kind of get the 'naughty, don't really know who it is' as a kink thing but it's actually very scary. | |||
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"Hope you're both thriving despite this. We'd blocked our creeps first profile just by chance as they're cishet male, they had catfished us (we think), and yesterday the deleted/remade their account and sent us a message from the blank profile naming where one of us works saying they were looking forward to seeing us at the club event we went to last night which was a fucking masquerade party so it would've been really difficult for us to even know who they were in person. We told them not to contact us, threatened to involve the police, and then blocked them. We notified the hosts and they were 100% on our side and said they'd keep an eye out for names on IDs (on the off chance the person is using their actually first name on their account) but they told us if they approached us or if anyone gave us the creeps, no questions asked, let them know, they'll boot them. Sort of not fun to have creeps creep but it was actually a little reassuring to have club owners absolutely back us and offer to shield us in any situation. " We're doing well and love that the club has given us the support and on the lookout for this person, we're glad that your local club has done the same for you too. Exactly, we're not looking to meet single men, so if they did find our profile and try to message us they would find messages blocked, so they've tried to contact us on Facebook instead. They absolutely do not know us or our dynamic, but they would if they had actually spoken to us at the club instead of being a creep. It's scary because it litterally could be anyone, we're now wary of any people we have seen there before because we don't know who it is. It does make us feel like not going back but then it feels like they've succeeded in making us uncomfortable. At least they don't know where either of us work or live, that would be absolutely terrifying. Good luck getting rid of that idiot. | |||
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"Definitely goes off WiFi and possibly location aswell. The club doesn't have customer WiFi as all phones should be locked away upon arrival. Not all give their phones up. Little "manbags" are used for all not only for "toys". We used to go often to loads of clubs and got some times strange messages. At the beginning my partner "freaked" but she then just dismissed all and enjoyed the atmosphere in clubs. Except one club were a fellow serving jury member walked in, result a quick retreat and long drive home. Just a very frustrating and unsettling experience " | |||
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