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"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc. As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us. Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message. Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males. Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex". Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions! I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck! C xxx " Majority of the messages we get are from people who sent that kind of garbage, despite us stating in the profile we won’t meet any men who approach us via message. | |||
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"Also. This could definitely be much bettervmanaged by the powers that be, but as a cheap subscription site... Can we really expect that? We get what we pay for. Perhaps they should offer and upgrade service with better filters and searches etc " Second this. Video verification would help also | |||
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"We have men a handful of really lovely men on here. But they have ALWAYS been a result of us looking for them. So in my opinion the best way for guys to find women is to often be online and have a unique and interesting profile. That being said we rarely receive messages off men that have any good content or interesting things to say despite lots of fun info on our profile to strike conversation. So. Maybe there really is just an ocean of weirdos with a sprinkling of good eggs. " This is generally the best and easiest approach for couples, having been one for a decade previously. Guarantees no crass messages in your inbox. Guarantees you'll not receive one from anyone that doesn't catch your eye initially. Guarantees no additional workload to manage your inbox. Doesn't of course guarantee you'll be of interest to them, but that's always the case whoever messages first. And I can almost guarantee any message you sent wouldn't ever get lost in a sea of others as is commonly claimed by men when they try and contact women and couples. Their inboxes will rarely be overflowing, so you'll be easily seen. If more couples and women adopted that approach then I suspect there'd be significantly less complaints on the forums about volumes of messages, their quality/content and potentially a lot more successful encounters. It would also encourage single male profiles to put more effort into visuals and text content. A win for pretty much everyone. | |||
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"Also. This could definitely be much bettervmanaged by the powers that be, but as a cheap subscription site... Can we really expect that? We get what we pay for. Perhaps they should offer and upgrade service with better filters and searches etc Second this. Video verification would help also" I would pay higher subscription for this | |||
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"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs" I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic. So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself. | |||
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"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc. A little charm isn't expensive is it As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us. Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message. Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males. Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex". Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions! I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck! C xxx " | |||
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"What might stop the Single Male spam is a restriction that the message must be at least X characters long. E.g. Some thought is needed to write it. But this rule would need to spot ways around it. Like filling the message with full stops. What I find useful, if I'm wishing to make initial contact, is when there's a subject word that has to be provided. This then proves I've actually read the profile which SM Spammers generally don't. Then those that haven't bothered reading are easily identified. " That’s why lots of profiles will ask for a key word in your message title. | |||
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"What might stop the Single Male spam is a restriction that the message must be at least X characters long. E.g. Some thought is needed to write it. But this rule would need to spot ways around it. Like filling the message with full stops. What I find useful, if I'm wishing to make initial contact, is when there's a subject word that has to be provided. This then proves I've actually read the profile which SM Spammers generally don't. Then those that haven't bothered reading are easily identified. " Noooooo. The long copy and paste messages are even worse!!! They trick me into thinking it's someone decent until 4 lines in she it clicks haha | |||
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"That's really interesting experiment OP..and quite an eye opener for us single men I would suggest. We knew things got busy for couple/single females but that really brings it home. The advice/illustration of how NOT to introduce oneself is also required reading..and of course no pics of one's parts!" Why we did it, we were curious as the (albeit limited) interactions we've had with single males or the male half of a couple have been nothing but positive. However we keep seeing single male profiles being generally bashed in the forums. It was certainly an eye opener! | |||
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"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs" Literally noone said it was just single guys. Everyone is aware this site is full of entitled people regardless of gender and relationship status. Why though, try and derail a conversation specifically about single guys and their messaging habits? Very strange thing to do, screams hasttag not all men. | |||
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"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs Literally noone said it was just single guys. Everyone is aware this site is full of entitled people regardless of gender and relationship status. Why though, try and derail a conversation specifically about single guys and their messaging habits? Very strange thing to do, screams hasttag not all men. " Screams "damn, I am one of those who sends those type of messages, why am I not getting replies waaahhhh" | |||
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"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs Literally noone said it was just single guys. Everyone is aware this site is full of entitled people regardless of gender and relationship status. Why though, try and derail a conversation specifically about single guys and their messaging habits? Very strange thing to do, screams hasttag not all men. Screams "damn, I am one of those who sends those type of messages, why am I not getting replies waaahhhh"" Right!? Like yes, we know, stay on topic. | |||
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"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc. As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us. Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message. Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males. Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex". Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions! I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck! C xxx " I always read every profile and if I decide go message I would always be respectful, try and pick something out their profile what I like and try and get a conversation going. (Not that difficult really) | |||
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"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc. As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us. Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message. Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males. Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex". Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions! I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck! C xxx " Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions? | |||
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"I read every profile and my profile is well written and presented but most of women just dont give much importance. They just look at the pictures. " Physical attracted is usually required during a sexual encounter, we it is for us anyways. So profile/personality and physical attraction are of equal importance, we won’t meet without both. | |||
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"I read every profile and my profile is well written and presented but most of women just dont give much importance. They just look at the pictures. " We look at both, I think most women do to be honest, or those we have spoken to at least. | |||
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" Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions? " I really wish Fab forums had a laugh/like/dislike reaction button. | |||
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"Proof if it were needed that if you have no interest in being contacted by certain sections of fab that filters are the best way to avoid it. " You can lead a horse to water...... *not calling anyone a horse, obvs..... | |||
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" Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions? I really wish Fab forums had a laugh/like/dislike reaction button. " That | |||
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" Was this experiment conducted under Sydney University conditions? I really wish Fab forums had a laugh/like/dislike reaction button. " 100% this! | |||
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"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about. It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc. Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations " Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway? | |||
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"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about. It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc. Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway?" My point is that there seems to be a lot of profiles on fab that are basically very negative and don’t give anything a convo can be built from, but many of these profiles seem to be the ones who moan about getting messages with no substance. Conversation is always a two way street, one person can’t build a convo or send an engaging message with no context to work with | |||
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"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about. It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc. Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway? My point is that there seems to be a lot of profiles on fab that are basically very negative and don’t give anything a convo can be built from, but many of these profiles seem to be the ones who moan about getting messages with no substance. Conversation is always a two way street, one person can’t build a convo or send an engaging message with no context to work with" And these are the profiles where it's easy to not engage with. There no point in approaching soneone with profile content you find negative or where there's an indication that you're not compatible. Move on to another. Saves everyone time and effort. | |||
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"As a single guy it’s funny when you come across a profile which bashes single guy messages when the only content in their profile is single male bashing and no other info about them, giving nothing for a single guy to build an intro message about. It’s graft as a single guy when there are so many who are disrespectful etc. Maybe this is a point where fab can modernise and level up, with improve verification for single males, such as having to submit id etc, and then putting more into the filters such as not permitting messages from outside of a mileage range, or anymore. There are many things that could be pinched from other sites and dating sites to bring fab forwards and ease service users frustrations Why would you want to meet someone who ‘bashes’ single males anyway? My point is that there seems to be a lot of profiles on fab that are basically very negative and don’t give anything a convo can be built from, but many of these profiles seem to be the ones who moan about getting messages with no substance. Conversation is always a two way street, one person can’t build a convo or send an engaging message with no context to work with" Their loss, not yours. | |||
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" I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic. So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself. " Nail and head. I've spent up to an hour reading a profile and writing a message only to have it deleted unread. Only last week I had a message come in and my wee heart jumped for joy - it was a couple who showed some interest, they wanted a face pic. I said there was one on my profile and they sent through their number. I took a selfie and fired it over and the next thing I know I get a message saying I'm not what she's interested in. They uploaded some photos a day later and jesus H corbitt, the state of it, the mess, the clutter, all that was needed was a pair of pants with some skids on the floor and we'd have been done. And that's before I start on what was spread on the sofa... My eyeballs needed counselling - and I'm no oil painting by any stretch. So I just don't now. I want to write to so many women and couples, but I always feel that if i'm what they're after or of interest they'll come to me in the first instance, and in reality there's much better competition than me out there, so I'll go to some socials and if anyone like the make of me, they can talk to me there. | |||
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"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc. As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us. Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message. Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males. Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex". Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions! I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck! C xxx " Ok my bad I always start with hi how are you both? As I feel this is polite but then I would go into a question and also send a picture of myself too. I would never send a message saying anything like fuck me or anything along those lines though that’s just weird | |||
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"Just had this conversation with a single man this evening. He'd messaged me earlier 'Want to fuck?' 'My name is ....' I ignored him. He then messages again asking why don't us ladies want him, all he gets is gay guys' interest. I replied that first of all single women get huge amounts of messages, he needed to rethink his profile to stand out. Secondly I told him that if his attitude towards women on fab was poor it would show. The vast majority of women like myself aren't going to be dazzled by "Want to fuck?' There was no friendliness, intelligence, humour, warmth, effort involved x" I tried giving someone advice once instead of ignoring him and I got told I was a patronising bitch and got blocked haha. I'm sure he's having a wonderful time on fab. I've also been called a racist bitch and to fuck off and die because I told somebody they weren't my type as a 'BBC' Can only laugh but also wonder if the crap mechanics of this site led them to such defensive insecurities or if they were always assholes | |||
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"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile " the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it. That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further. | |||
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"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it. That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further." I have now adopted the same approach, as i was going slightly insane sending carefully crafted messages with no response. As many profiles single/couples profiles suggest 'single men, we will find you' So i have calmed and just wait, with the occasional crafted advance. I think filtering out groups you dont want is the key i.e. the non validated/verified There is just not much one can do as a single male in overly single male populated site... maybe make validation have more step perhaps... Observe the trends on the site, act caccordingly and be polite. | |||
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"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it. That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further. I have now adopted the same approach, as i was going slightly insane sending carefully crafted messages with no response. As many profiles single/couples profiles suggest 'single men, we will find you' So i have calmed and just wait, with the occasional crafted advance. I think filtering out groups you dont want is the key i.e. the non validated/verified There is just not much one can do as a single male in overly single male populated site... maybe make validation have more step perhaps... Observe the trends on the site, act caccordingly and be polite. " It's no secret that many will view a profile before opening a message sent from one. So maybe it's worth spending more time creating a profile that attracts interest via words and pictures, and less time worrying about creating the perfect opening message? A profile that catches the eye and gives an insight into the owner is far more likely to get a positive response from a message than a vague, limited one, even if the best message in the history of all Fab messages was sent. | |||
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"Don’t know why most blokes think it’s there right to be pushy or rude to females and couples just be nice and maybe you will get somewhere. But saying that I send respectable messages and still no joy maybe I have a shit profile the other side of it could be that the couple and lady in question see messages like ours after forty or fifty like the ones you've mentioned and just think fuck that, I'm not even going to open it. That's why I've taken a back seat and not bothering at all, yes it's not ideal but rather that than spend hours reading, typing, sending to not get anything back apart from the odd "thanks for the lovely message" or "I'm not interested" and not have it go any further. I have now adopted the same approach, as i was going slightly insane sending carefully crafted messages with no response. As many profiles single/couples profiles suggest 'single men, we will find you' So i have calmed and just wait, with the occasional crafted advance. I think filtering out groups you dont want is the key i.e. the non validated/verified There is just not much one can do as a single male in overly single male populated site... maybe make validation have more step perhaps... Observe the trends on the site, act caccordingly and be polite. It's no secret that many will view a profile before opening a message sent from one. So maybe it's worth spending more time creating a profile that attracts interest via words and pictures, and less time worrying about creating the perfect opening message? A profile that catches the eye and gives an insight into the owner is far more likely to get a positive response from a message than a vague, limited one, even if the best message in the history of all Fab messages was sent. " Exactly this! I always check the profile first, the content of the message is irrelevant if it’s someone we won’t be interested in for what ever reason. That’s not to say we definitely won’t reply when we open the message, some people don’t have face pics on their profile (we don’t) but they’ll send them in a message. C x | |||
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"I’ve redone my bio loads of times even had a woman type out the last one " And how'd that work out ? Lol | |||
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"I believe if couples and females on here want to meet single men then the easiest thing is for them to approach the single male. That way they choose and don't need to accept all the crap from the many desperate guys on here!! I'm never desperate...lol " I agree on this, or use the filters available to cut down on people they don't want to hear from. I use several filters and it means my mail is manageable, plus I have a long profile that explains about me etc. I think that is used as a filer by many too, which is why it is like it is. There are ways to stuff constant crap filling your inbox, obviously you can't eliminate it completely unless you set your filters to looking for 98 to 99 or something similar. I'd just like to say it's not only men that send lazy or entitled messages, couples do it too. Women probably are guilty aswell, but I don't message them. | |||
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"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS" My advice has always been the same. Profile quality is far more important than message quality. Always has been, always will be. | |||
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"It makes almost no difference if you send highly thoughtful, funny, engaged 1st messages that show you have read their profile and have something to offer. On another note - I'm straight and set my tinder and bumble to search everyone and within 72 hours i had 99+ right swipes awaiting a match whereas previously id had 2 matches in 12 months. Looks like all guys. Hopefully the algorithm just thinks im hot and shows me to more women now!" well the big difference is fabs a swingers site not a hook up site ..... | |||
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"From a single male point, what is it you want to see in a message? We are aware most messages get lost in a sea of messages, I read profiles and try to tailor a opening message to the recipients profile but let’s be honest, we aren’t going to invest heavily in an opening message that in all probability may not even be opened. Often timing can be more important than the contents of the message! A first message is really just a hello, I find your profile attractive, it would be nice to get a hello back but otherwise just accept this as a compliment and move on. As you know OP, you can turn off receiving messages and then approach those that interest you." It’s simple, be yourself. | |||
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"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS My advice has always been the same. Profile quality is far more important than message quality. Always has been, always will be. " | |||
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"It makes almost no difference if you send highly thoughtful, funny, engaged 1st messages that show you have read their profile and have something to offer. On another note - I'm straight and set my tinder and bumble to search everyone and within 72 hours i had 99+ right swipes awaiting a match whereas previously id had 2 matches in 12 months. Looks like all guys. Hopefully the algorithm just thinks im hot and shows me to more women now! well the big difference is fabs a swingers site not a hook up site ....." Gatekeeping using that line is why people get frustrated too. Clearly single guys are outnumbered and classically swinging is abiut partner swapping rather than drawing on single guys but this is still a hookup site. | |||
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"I’ve redone my bio loads of times even had a woman type out the last one And how'd that work out ? Lol " Still no joy lol | |||
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"Message filters are my friend. No one outside my age range, must be verified, not new and has to have some photos .... Helps cut down the dross" It’s a wonder how many people choose NOT to take this approach. Guess it’s just easier to point the blame elsewhere and/or moan as opposed to taking responsibility themselves when it comes to being the change they wanna see… | |||
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"What might stop the Single Male spam is a restriction that the message must be at least X characters long. E.g. Some thought is needed to write it. But this rule would need to spot ways around it. Like filling the message with full stops. What I find useful, if I'm wishing to make initial contact, is when there's a subject word that has to be provided. This then proves I've actually read the profile which SM Spammers generally don't. Then those that haven't bothered reading are easily identified. That’s why lots of profiles will ask for a key word in your message title." However, they usually put this word towards the end of their profile, so it's not incredibly difficult for some to 'get around' this by just scanning the last sentence or two of he profile - which is why I haven't bothered putting such a criteria on mine. There are definitely other ways to tell if someone's bothered to read your profile | |||
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"Lots of entitled people on here op not just single guys ,but women and couples who expect you to jump through hoops just to get them to say hello as o swings and roundabouts ,now try the same experiment with just couples and share the results in 24hrs I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic. So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself. " Wow. This says a lot! | |||
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"This is just basic statistics. Men are in surplus (by a large margin) and the scarcity of women and couples (of whom many are not looking for men at all), you're going to get most of your inbox full of them. Also, men know that the probability of getting a response from someone is infintesimally low, then they'll just make some low effort in their messaging and game, because even when significant time is invested on crafting your perfect message in iambic pentameter for good measure, that it's likely to be ignored. As such, the time investment isn't worth it, and they'd be better learning something tangible in the time they'd be spending trying to contact someone who isn't even going to consider them. Learn the piano. Haha! In a world of inverse and if men were the scarce commodity, it would be the same case but with single girls." You’re like a facts machine | |||
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"I open up the messaging filters from time to time and honestly never have loads of messages and the ones that do drop in, seem coherent. I just have filters on because I'm too lazy to reply and feel bad not doing so. Mrs " We too are surprised by the quoted number of messages in a short period. (Perhaps we’re just more damn ugly!) I would expect one of the “Fab for friend request” sort of profiles to attract this amount but… | |||
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"Message filters are my friend. No one outside my age range, must be verified, not new and has to have some photos .... Helps cut down the dross It’s a wonder how many people choose NOT to take this approach. Guess it’s just easier to point the blame elsewhere and/or moan as opposed to taking responsibility themselves when it comes to being the change they wanna see… " I also try to reply politely and kindly to as many messages as possible saying no thank you when I am not interested. And use block when guys won't take no for an answer | |||
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" I came on fab as a single woman looking for single women. Trust me. Even that was a graft as most fo my messages got completely ignored..... And I wrote lovely personal messages to all of them with face pic. So trust me. I understand the pain and disappointment you guys must feel. I gave up VERY quickly and felt really deflated and crap about myself. Nail and head. I've spent up to an hour reading a profile and writing a message only to have it deleted unread. Only last week I had a message come in and my wee heart jumped for joy - it was a couple who showed some interest, they wanted a face pic. I said there was one on my profile and they sent through their number. I took a selfie and fired it over and the next thing I know I get a message saying I'm not what she's interested in. They uploaded some photos a day later and jesus H corbitt, the state of it, the mess, the clutter, all that was needed was a pair of pants with some skids on the floor and we'd have been done. And that's before I start on what was spread on the sofa... My eyeballs needed counselling - and I'm no oil painting by any stretch. So I just don't now. I want to write to so many women and couples, but I always feel that if i'm what they're after or of interest they'll come to me in the first instance, and in reality there's much better competition than me out there, so I'll go to some socials and if anyone like the make of me, they can talk to me there." If I like someone I write a brief but nice message and send a face pic straight away. That way you don’t waste too much time - they can decide if they like the look of you right off the bat | |||
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"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS" Happy to provide feedback if you are asking specifically But generally a decent profile that gives a sense of the person and some good pics works. I just delete messages if there is no profile pic and someone who sends a face pic in a massage is far more likely to get a reply x | |||
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"What it takes for a new guy to meet someone in here? I find'it very difficult, I'm more traditional more face to face I don't really know how this online thing works. I'm not a Fisher man to throw the bate and wait for the fish to get a response I'm a hunter, I see the prey and I attack(face to face) ). Any advice? I'M NEW ON THIS Happy to provide feedback if you are asking specifically But generally a decent profile that gives a sense of the person and some good pics works. I just delete messages if there is no profile pic and someone who sends a face pic in a massage is far more likely to get a reply x" If I were to write you a message-say-would my profile picture be included in any message I sent you or would I have to send it to you from my profile? | |||
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"Sometimes we feel single guys on here are given a hard time (pardon the pun) and a bad rep due to the actions of a few bad apples. We read all the time about constant hassling, not reading profiles but expecting they'll be your type, demanding a meet up now etc etc. As an experiment last night, we turned on the filter back to allowing single male profiles to wink and message us. Went to bed at 10pm, with 0 new winks and 1 unread message. Logged on this morning to 124 winks and 97 messages - all but two winks from single males and all but 4 messages (including the message from last night) from single males. Spent the last hour going through and deleting the messages - all of them followed the same tones of "hey How are you?" "You're incredibly sexy, I'd love to fuck you" "meet me?" "Come and fuck me, I'm bigger than your hubby and ill give you better sex". Turned the filter back off, I can now see why some people have had problems or negative opinions! I know it's not every single guy on here but some of them....it's absolutely no wonder they've had no meets or no luck! C xxx " Your forum post C was really warming to read in parts and I’m sorry the result from giving singles a chance on here resulted in a flood of crude and disrespectful messages. Sadly though it doesn’t surprise me that you where inundated with such one line messages as a couple I’m fortunate to know have told me similar stories when they’ve turned off their filter for a short while. Why they do it is beyond me. All it’s done is made Fab a much more hostile environment towards single guys, when it’s already difficult enough trying to chat with new people because of the much bigger number of guys on here. I really hope it changes for everyone sake as it just spoils fab for everyone xx | |||
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"It is literally constant. But occasionally, you find a fantastic guy! We swapped to club only meets which really elevated our "hunt" for single guys and made the process so much easier. Granted, I know that's not for everyone ofcourse! " We are 99% club meets now but don’t really mind the 100s of messages, sometimes it can be fun sifting through the outrageous and sublime requests. Some are so bizarre that we respond to see exactly what the end game is. Once in a blue moon we will actually meet someone if they catch us in just the right moment. | |||
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"The big problem we have is one of my fantasises is to be with another guy and Adam. It’s what we came on here for and still haven’t done it yet. We have had a lot of cam fun which I have loved, we started to build up trust with a guy then he disappeared, and most are just on here for masturbating material. We get the same messages from the same guys now which are often just cut and pasted, it’s nearly impossible. " How invested are you in finding the 'right' guy vs finding someone who is good enough to provide the extra firepower you want to embellish what you have together? | |||
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