FabSwingers.com forum: Saying no thanks or just ignoring?

By *ragonbait OP Couple
38 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?

If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.

Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.

What's your usual method?

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By *istr3ssWoman
38 weeks ago

Stockton-on-Tees

I don't respond to winks. I figure if they're interested they'll message

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By *ragonbait OP Couple
38 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

[Removed by poster at 02/03/24 04:27:49]

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By *ragonbait OP Couple
38 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

I just read your profile. It's very clear!

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By *ickD80Man
38 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?

If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.

Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.

What's your usual method?"

Wow, that is so rude, it’s disgusting that they did that to you. What right do they have to tell you that they don’t fancy you? Why do they think it’s ok for them to tell you that they don’t fancy you? I’m actually in shock that you had to go through that suffering.

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By *ragonbait OP Couple
38 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

It was very traumatic.

Ok, it wasn't, but it just made me curious about other people's approaches.

I would never say, sorry, you sound nice but your elbows are too bendy for my liking, so no. (Or, sorry, you look nice but your profile sounds deranged, so no.) Thought it was reasonable to ask what others do while I fail to sleep.

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By *aulaxd2020TV/TS
38 weeks ago

dudley

I don’t reply to winks but if I like the person I wink back, I reply to all messages even to say I’m not interested sometimes they have a proper meltdown and give me loads of abuse … I love it most when they block me because I know I won’t be hearing from them again

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By *ink vixenCouple
38 weeks ago

Medway

We try to respond to every polite message but as it’s Fab it’s often a “sadly we think you wouldn’t suit us but thanks for the 50 pics of your dick from every conceivable angle”

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By *ragonbait OP Couple
38 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

"We try to respond to every polite message but as it’s Fab it’s often a “sadly we think you wouldn’t suit us but thanks for the 50 pics of your dick from every conceivable angle” "

Do you leave it as a general "wouldn't suit us" or would you get more specific "because of this or that"?

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By *ularliWoman
38 weeks ago

Worcester

I don’t respond to winks unless I like the look of the person that send it, it so I’d then wink back.

If I get a message from someone that isnt for me then I’m usually very polite and say not for me but I wish you well on here.

Most of the time that is fine but you do get the odd one that wants to know why and then questions my likes and preferences.

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
38 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Winks from those outside our profile preferences get deleted, as do those who do not interest us but are within our profile preferences.

Messages from those within our preferences who do not interest us get a 'thanks but no thanks' unless it's a repeat message, in which case it's a block and delete.

Messages from those outside our preferences, combined with a request that is outside our preferences will either get 'where does it say that is what we are looking for in our profile - it's maybe worth reading it before messaging' combined with a block and delete, or just a block and delete. If they can't be arsed to read our profile / respect our preferences, they don't deserve a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

We respond to winks fromm couples regardless if they are what we are looking for or not. We always view a wink as a sign that they are interested but we might not be looking for them. They might even be shy who knows.

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By *ink vixenCouple
38 weeks ago

Medway

"We try to respond to every polite message but as it’s Fab it’s often a “sadly we think you wouldn’t suit us but thanks for the 50 pics of your dick from every conceivable angle”

Do you leave it as a general "wouldn't suit us" or would you get more specific "because of this or that"?"

Usually just a polite “we wouldn’t suit each other”

Sometimes that prompts a “why not?” But this usually then doesn’t end well.

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By * Chubby Btm MinxMan
38 weeks ago

Chorley(ish)

I don't reply to winks unless I'm interested in the winker... If someone I'm not interested in messages I always reply just saying not for me, but thanks and good luck /take care etc.

I hate it when people don't reply to me, so make sure I'm not like that to others.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I don't even look at winks and it would never occur to me to reply to one, but i guess at least you can cross them off your to-do list!?

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By *archelCouple
38 weeks ago

A field somewhere

We don't respond to winks unless interested.

If we're sent a polite message and they've bothered to read our profile, if not interested we always send a polite no thank you...but don't go into details as to why.

If we're sent a rude vulgar message, or they haven't read our profile...which 99% of the time comes from the wanking dead single guys...we either block, or if I'm feeling cunty I give them some shit, then block.

Mrs

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By *imply DeeWoman
38 weeks ago

Wherever

Winks - ignore, unless it’s a forum game.

Messages - ignore, but I will usually reply to a well constructed one from a sane looking profile.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

Ignore winks

If we reply to messages in the negative we aren't specific about them personally and we often block. We might mention distance or our profiles not matching though. We usually wish them well

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
38 weeks ago

South West London

I ignore winks and if a woman that I'm not interested in messages me, I will respond with a polite decline

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By *ario1972Man
38 weeks ago

Guildford

"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?

If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.

Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.

What's your usual method?"

I'd love a reply like that. At least i'd know what to work on if the problem was on my part.

I appreciate however that as a man I've got so little interest taken in me due to weight of numbers that I can afford to reply to every wink and message that I find in my inbox - I've got more fingers on one hand on any given day.

I like to wink as I see it as a very understated hello, I'm interested, but it seems that women just see it as laziness and an annoyance.

I've got messages iin my sent box which were sent over a month ago and were never read, and others which were read and never replied to.

You can't win, I don't understand it, I think it's rude, but i'm not the one getting hundreds of messages to wade through everyday like the couples and women on here.

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By *ario1972Man
38 weeks ago

Guildford

"... if a woman that I'm not interested in messages me..."

My friend, I salute you. I'd kill for just the message, let alone having the opportunity to say no!

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By *ario1972Man
38 weeks ago

Guildford

"I ignore winks and if a woman that I'm not interested in messages me, I will respond with a polite decline"

Just to add, I just looked at your profile because you're obviously successful on here and I often read successful guys profiles to get some pointers to help me moving forward. No offence or perving intended.

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By *ragonbait OP Couple
38 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

"I'd love a reply like that. At least i'd know what to work on if the problem was on my part."

Supposing it's not something you can or want to do anything about? Just something specific to their taste?

Like I said, I think they thought they were being nice giving an explanation. But it made me feel a bit crap to read it (everything is made worse by insomnia!) whereas if they hadn't replied at all I wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

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By *implynaughty1Couple
38 weeks ago

stockport

It's a no thanks not for us and move on

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Central

I mostly ignore people who I'm not matched with, who wink. And frequently respond with thanks but no thanks, who messaged, who are similar. Or blockz if overloaded

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By *uliette500Woman
38 weeks ago

Hull

I never even look at winks, I forget they are there and see them as lazy.

As for messages if the person sending has sent a decent polite message I will reply with a sorry you are not for me. Sometimes I stop at that others I might say too far away etc. I would never give reasons about their appearance or anything that turned me off. There is no need and why try to upset someone?

If they just send a couple of words or 'how are you?' or 'What are you up to?' I would ignore and delete.

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By *uliette500Woman
38 weeks ago

Hull

"I don't reply to winks unless I'm interested in the winker... If someone I'm not interested in messages I always reply just saying not for me, but thanks and good luck /take care etc.

I hate it when people don't reply to me, so make sure I'm not like that to others. "

Women tend not to reply to everyone because messaging back stops your filters working on the person you message if you chose to change your filters at a later date.

For example say I message you today then tomorrow change my filters so it would stop you messaging, because I have already messaged you before you can still message me again.

I want my filters to work if I decide to use them.

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By *enelope PitstopWoman
38 weeks ago

Lincoln

I usually just say thanks for the message but you're not for me if I've had a reasonable message.

I don't apologise or give a reason because i dont feel I need to. Most take it well.

Sometimes I get the why not...I don't enter into that conversation.

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By *apiomanMan
38 weeks ago

Shipley

I like receiving a no thank you message rather than being ignored, but I know many on here are inundated with messages so don't expect one.

I would expect a wink to be ignored if they weren't interested.

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By *fkcpl4groupCouple
38 weeks ago

Norwich

"Winks from those outside our profile preferences get deleted, as do those who do not interest us but are within our profile preferences.

Messages from those within our preferences who do not interest us get a 'thanks but no thanks' unless it's a repeat message, in which case it's a block and delete.

Well said! (“,)

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
38 weeks ago

Tamworth

We don't even check winks honestly.

Messages though, we'd usually send a "thanks for your message, we only meet in clubs, our profile gives details of when we will be next out, hope you enjoy your week/weekend" type reply.

For those we aren't interested in, we usually just send a "no thank you".

Tbf, I'm not against telling someone why you aren't interested, very clear then so no more time wasted. I'd say we'd stay doing it but the level of abuse we get from the above responses is already ridiculous so I don't think our block list needs to grow any quicker.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
38 weeks ago

Here and There

I don’t really pay attention to winks. It’s never occurred to me to respond to one if I wasn’t interested.

I would say 70% of the messages I receive are from people outside my very clearly stated preference in my bio. So for me they either don’t read bios or read it and disregard what it says. Either way these people are not for me because they’re not looking for a mutually enjoyable experience, they’re only worried about what they want. So, I just ignore them. I don’t feel like I owe them the courtesy of a reply because the way I see it, they haven’t shown me any courtesy by messaging me

I also can’t stand a repeat messages, because I find this impolite and also slightly desperate which I don’t find attractive

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I just delete if I'm not interested. Can't be arsed with anything else. Unless they say something really stupid then I'll point that out to them !

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By *urreyNotSoNewbiesCouple
38 weeks ago

Surrey

We check the profile of those that wink, would wink back if we’re interested, then expect them to follow up with a message (surprising how many don’t, what’s the point of winking then?).

We would always reply to a nice message with a polite no thanks or let’s chat further.

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By *rcadian110Couple
38 weeks ago

Barnsley

We have had people say your husband's a bit of a troll but your wife's stunning, couple we just meet her on her own? Actual words used. Lol. I'll let you guess the answer.

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By *layfullsamMan
38 weeks ago

Solihull

"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?

If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.

Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.

What's your usual method?"

I don’t get any first winks or messages but I think it’s accepted that no reply is a thanks but no thanks

And remember they sent the message to you it’s like receiving junk mail, you don’t reply if you’re not interested but you do if you are

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By *en_Dover79Man
38 weeks ago

Oswaldtwistle

I dont message off the cuff.. waste of time 95% of the time being a single male. If they want me they can message me

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By *xeterCandRCouple
38 weeks ago

Digby & Sowton, Exeter

[Removed by poster at 02/03/24 13:42:50]

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By *xeterCandRCouple
38 weeks ago

Digby & Sowton, Exeter

"Which is a more polite response to winks or messages on here?

If I don't like the look of someone who's winked or messaged us, I just ignore/delete.

Tonight we had a reply to a wink, saying sorry don't fancy you because of X. I think they thought they were being nice but it felt quite rude.

What's your usual method?"

We always reply, normally stating that is appreciated, at our age we have to take the good when we get it. X

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By *an hjCouple
38 weeks ago

Stowmarket

"I don't respond to winks. I figure if they're interested they'll message"

Same for us.

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By *rill PhilMan
38 weeks ago

Crediton

I normally wink as a precursor to a message, like a warning shot across the bows!

I dislike being ignored quite intensely (not just on here, in life generally) but, I also appreciate that anyone I'm likely to message has received 200 before mine and will receive 200 after so, while I would like a polite "thanks but no" I don't ever expect one.

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By *ubbie300Couple
38 weeks ago

Bawtry

We wink back if we’re interested.

We do respond if they have read the profile but we do not think we’re suited.

If they clearly haven’t read the profile it’s a block

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By *iasubTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Ilkeston

I tend to just ignore its easier that way then the often attempts to “convince” me why i should meet them

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By *os19Man
38 weeks ago

Edmonton

I find it easier to just ignore especially if they are far away from me.If nearer sometimes I message saying no thanks

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By *herryEatersCouple
38 weeks ago

East Cheshire

Winks we delete if of no interest. Messages we always reply even if to say 'sorry not for us'. That is unless ignorant or have clearly not read our profile, then its deleted, possibly blocked...

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By *ario1972Man
38 weeks ago

Guildford

Supposing it's not something you can or want to do anything about? Just something specific to their taste?

If it's a taste thing, then that's fine, a simple not for me or no thanks, but if there's something thats offensive or a turn off on the profile then i'd welcome the constructive criticism.

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By *andPextraCouple
38 weeks ago

North West

Winks of no interest delete.

Cut and paste message delete

Hi, etc delete

Message thats a few sentences, a polite no thank you and good luck on the site.

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By *Cups32Woman
38 weeks ago

Colne

Winks are just deleted if there's no interest...

Messages... Sadly, it's basically more hassle than it's worth to reply if I'm not interested and shock, horror... I do have a busy life outside of fab.

I warn in advance on my profile that I only respond to those I am interested in and still been bitched at for not replying.

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By *exxyyDy11Man
38 weeks ago

North West

I tried replying at the first but it gets too much. So if no reply, it means not interested. Just like if I message someone and I get no reply, I take the hint.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
38 weeks ago

North West

I don’t check my winks.

I don’t reply to anyone I’m not interested in.

Saying “no thanks” is pointless cos it’s usually met with “why”, further questioning or telling me they’ll change my mind.

So then I tell them why, and I’m the asshole.

Straight delete = a polite no thanks IMO.

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By *anJenny 181Couple
38 weeks ago

Preston

We think it's nice to be nice & almost always reply to people's messages.

No one really knows what others are going through & we have had so many people thanking us simply for the reply, one fella said despite not getting a meet it made his day getting a message back.

Let's be honest it's really hard particularly for single males.

We have come across the occasional weirdo on fab but generally people are good.

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
37 weeks ago

SW Scotland

All depends how many messages/winks we get that day.

If it’s been loads then I’ll just delete, if we get one or two I’ll message back and say not for us

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By *ysonfuryMan
37 weeks ago

Stockport

I hardly ever check winks to be honest, that not out of choice I just forget it's there as an option. I do reply to messages when I receive them. If I have sent a message it's nice to get one back even if it's thanks but no thanks. Appreciate through that couples and single ladies must get hundreds of messages to wade through, so don't expect a reply. it nice though when they do take the time out to send one. Happy fabbing everyone

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By *urlyKittyWoman
37 weeks ago

Buckingham

I do get a lot of messages and I can work out who has gone to the trouble of looking at my profile, so quite easy to discard measages from those who haven't.

Those who clearly haven't read my profile are deleted.

I dont acknowledge winks

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By *aomilatteCouple
37 weeks ago

Midlands

We simply don't reply if not interested. Many don't take rejection well unfortunately, so no reply is more polite.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
37 weeks ago

chichester

Ignore

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By *issmorganWoman
37 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I delete winks and messages when they've not read my profile, which is most of them to be fair.

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By *inglemenapplyhereCouple
37 weeks ago

Ely

I wink back if I'm interested and wait for a message.

That's a bit rude what they done. They could of just ignored it! x

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By *i_Blonde_BabeWoman
37 weeks ago

cardiff or just passing through

I always reply to every polite, complimentary or well written message I receive. I usually opt for “I’m not currently seeking (male/couple/female) meets” if I have no initial attraction. I think it’s a little mean to point out specific turn-offs about a person.

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By *iseekingbiCouple
37 weeks ago

N ireland and West Midlands

We like winks. Sending and receiving. Shows interest without either party having to send a full message. Dont see them as lazy at all. Much prefer a wink to the standard copy and paste mesaages that we get.

So wink away x

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By *iseekingbiCouple
37 weeks ago

N ireland and West Midlands

[Removed by poster at 03/03/24 18:33:07]

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By *iseekingbiCouple
37 weeks ago

N ireland and West Midlands

"I always reply to every polite, complimentary or well written message I receive. I usually opt for “I’m not currently seeking (male/couple/female) meets” if I have no initial attraction. I think it’s a little mean to point out specific turn-offs about a person. "

That's a classy way of handling it.

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By *oxy jWoman
37 weeks ago

somerset

winks = mass delete

messages if i dont fancy someone then its a st8 block simple and easy if the message is a porn script or just plain rubbish then again its a str8 block .... im on here to find meets so theirs zero point in not blocking as they just keep coming back i dont have time for that ... block block block

if more people did this then it would make life so much easier for yourself

the block button is like a golden buzzer

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By *rpeggioCouple
37 weeks ago

Baughurst

I would rather not share, in case that I tell you X and it causes you some offence.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

Any sort of rejection can be a bit crap as can being ignores. A bit of a damned if you do damned if you don't scenario. Pay it no mind, different people are looking for different things is all.

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By *dventuresWithOllieMan
37 weeks ago

sheffield

"We think it's nice to be nice & almost always reply to people's messages.

No one really knows what others are going through & we have had so many people thanking us simply for the reply, one fella said despite not getting a meet it made his day getting a message back.

Let's be honest it's really hard particularly for single males.

We have come across the occasional weirdo on fab but generally people are good.

As a single bloke, who researches bio's and tailors what i write...and is not rude...that is a lovely way to respond.

I appreciate and 'accept' i only get a few responses a week vs 100s a day to manage...

but playing my Smallest violin: Its the opening a message and not deleting that really does get to me (after the effort i put in)

Clearly need to toughen up!!

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By *orny-DJMan
37 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea

"I don't respond to winks. I figure if they're interested they'll message"

I'm the same.

Got tired of responding to them only to be completely ignored.

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By *ilverfox for youMan
37 weeks ago

Hull

I think a no thank you would be nice but it doesn’t happen !!

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By *mbassador of sinMan
37 weeks ago

Aberdare

I think a no thanks is the most polite although saying why may be a little inconsiderate depending on what they say. That said there are some arseholes on here that don't take rejection and get abusive.

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By *atgirlknobinCouple
37 weeks ago

near wrexham

Two camps on this topic , if its couple then tend to wink back or message if they did, single guys we dont bother due to the amount we recieve , if it come to the face pic exchange and things take a turn for the worse then just reply with your face pic and a polite not for us ,

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By *inkster seekingMan
37 weeks ago

ponty

I find it really difficult to ignore but am starting to learn from their opening message if i should reply politely no or just ignore.

Even as a sungle man i ha e had abuse and been blocked for saying politely not interested from both men and couples. Find it bonkers people cant have manners x

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
37 weeks ago

Chester

As an experiment I replied to a message today with a ‘sorry, but I don’t think we’re compatible, but best of luck etc etc’ instead of deleting/ignoring and immediately got a ‘why’s that hun?’.

It’s just not worth it!

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