FabSwingers.com forum: How to start Swinging talk with Wife

By *rownsnake OP Man
38 weeks ago

coventry

Hiya all

I am Asian guy with wife who is half German and Asian. Very reserved and don’t even watch’s porn and always have a traditional mentality of just one to one sex no others. She don’t drink. I really want to twist her mind to start swinging talk and unearth her naughty mind. I have seen many Indian couples who are into and wondering. How they started. Even thought of getting a female get to know her and slowly turn her mind. Happy to welcome your thoughts. Thank you

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By *cnugatugMan
38 weeks ago

Chatham

Maybe talking to her about it will help rather than asking a group of random people on a swinging site probably not the best way to go about this

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By *oupleus30Couple
38 weeks ago

Minster

Why would you want to twist her mind to it. Surely should be her decision.

Took me 11 years after my Mrs mentioned it to me

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By *enk15Man
38 weeks ago

Evesham

Twist her mind?

Communication. Talk openly and honestly, ask her about it. But if she isn't into it then she isn't into it.

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By *oxy jWoman
38 weeks ago

somerset

if you dont know your own wife then id say you have zero chance .... how any one else is going to help they dont know her ..

maybe show her your account on here

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Yer, good luck. I dont really have much useful advice but im wondering if she doesnt even like to watch porn, maybe a different kind of sex life just isnt her bag.. maybe start of gently by saying you have a profile on here and what you use it for and see how she responds. Maybe she would be curious as to why you come on here and what can be achieved from a profile here.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

Why on earth would you go behind her back to get a woman to try to 'turn ' her.

Start by improving*your* communication with your wife.

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By *inkster seekingMan
38 weeks ago

ponty

I hope that English is your 2nd language and you aee struggling to find the correct words mate, as this doesnt come across very well.

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By *rill PhilMan
38 weeks ago

Crediton

I would have attempted to have that discussion before joining a site like this.

Do I hear divorce bells?

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By *layfullsamMan
38 weeks ago

Solihull

Appeal to her German half,

Say “Ve haf vays of making you talk” and see if you can start a conversation with her you’ll never know if you don’t talk to the one you’re supposed to love.

Does she even know you’re bi and meeting blokes ?

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By *revaunanceCouple
38 weeks ago

Exeter

I'm sure if you showed her that you've been on this site for 12 years that would really help to turn her.

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By *ink vixenCouple
38 weeks ago

Medway

Has anyone said “show her your profile!” yet?

Lol.

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By *issmorganWoman
38 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

If your wife is straight, she won't want or appreciate you trying to push another woman on to her op. Just to fulfill your fantasy I'm guessing of wanting to see 2 women together

Instead have an honest chat with her, ask her what fantasies she has and if she'd be interested in looking at introducing others to your sex life.

If it's a no, you need to then leave it alone op.

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By *apiomanMan
38 weeks ago

Shipley

"Twisting her mind" isn't a good plan. Opening her to possibilities might be a better approach.

What's your motivation?

And unless she becomes 100% into it, don't do it.

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By *issmorganWoman
38 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

This is why many married men get grief on here, discussing their wives, trying to send pics of them to other men or trying to turn them bi.

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By *layfullsamMan
38 weeks ago

Solihull

"Has anyone said “show her your profile!” yet?

Lol. "

I was trying to be diplomatic

lol

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By *enfella4uMan
38 weeks ago

staffs

Why don’t you have a night out nice few drinks nice meal and ask her if she would like a partners full body massage where u both go to a other guy to have full naked massages see if she would like that then if she does it and knows then how another man’s hands feels on all of her body she may feel like going further then ask her sometime how much she enjoyed it and would she ever like to take things further. You have to be slow and sensual about it and don’t try pushing her into anything she don’t want mate treat her with respect and then respect her wishes on the matter when she tells you.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

O o O oo

"Maybe talking to her about it will help rather than asking a group of random people on a swinging site probably not the best way to go about this "

Asking for advice on a swinging site is probably the best place to do it.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

O o O oo

To the OP, I think your choice of words are a bit unsavoury, but I will answer while assuming they were a mistake.

For us, we spoke first about some fantasies, then we made a list of them, then put a yes, no or maybe next to them as to whether we wanted to try them or not. We then swopped lists, saw that we matched quite a fair bit and then tried them.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

O o O oo

Ok if people are going to post can you remember to answer the post rather than attack the poster

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By *andb69Couple
38 weeks ago

leeds

If swinging isn't something you come to together through open conversation it is coercion, and that is not a good place from which join the lifestyle. If you cannot tell her openly that you are fantasising about you and her swinging together then simply forget about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

'Ever fancied getting fucked by two guys at once' is a good opening line. Hubby is rather direct but it gets a conversation started.

Also when phrased like that you're framing the question in a way that reassures your wife you aren't asking just because you want to fuck other women. Others can no doubt think of better ways to phrase it.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

That said, still a conversation to have in private with your partner.

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By *oreAgainForeverCouple
38 weeks ago

doncaster

My god

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
38 weeks ago

Worcester

Show her your profile and verifications to see how she really feels.

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By *ahul92Man
38 weeks ago

Coventry

OP maybe it's not her 'traditional mentality' and it's just her morals and beliefs that you are totally ignoring for your own sexual gratification. The fact that you want to 'twist' her mind is probably enough to show that she's not comfortable indulging in your fantasies.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
38 weeks ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 27/02/24 17:49:16]

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
38 weeks ago

Leeds

Personally swinging takes a huge amount of trust & communication - you have a profile behind her back & meeting it's not the best start is it.

Let her have a singles profile like you, she'll have way more fun.

Mrs

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By *ose and her beastCouple
38 weeks ago

Watford

The self snitch is real

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
38 weeks ago

Middle England

You should have have this conversation before you signed up on here. Having been on the site over a year it's a bit after the fact to start considering your wife.

But as many others have said you need to be upfront with her. Are you really a trustworthy person? Because I'd say that's the number one ingredient if you want to be able to swing as a couple.

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By *andy1555TV/TS
38 weeks ago

Cambridge

Perhaps give OP a break.

Okay he’s on this site without his wife’s knowledge, but that aside I genuinely don’t think he meant he wanted to ‘twist her mind’, probably more likely that he meant that he wanted to open her mind to the possibility.

Unless you’ve found your partner in the swinging / kink scene, most people would have had to have a ‘first’ Conversation and brought it up with their partner. It can be a difficult one to have at any stage of a relationship.

Early days, you don’t want to put your partner off. An established, long term relationship, is your partner going to wander what the hell is up.

OP is asking for advice on how to broach the subject. Some of you must have some advice for him without needing to hound him.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
38 weeks ago

Middle England

"Perhaps give OP a break.

Early days, you don’t want to put your partner off. An established, long term relationship, is your partner going to wander what the hell is up.

OP is asking for advice on how to broach the subject. Some of you must have some advice for him without needing to hound him."

Drop a few hints say over a 3-6 month period about sexual ideas or fantasies bring it up in conversation especially if it's relevant.

Perhaps watch the swinging documentary on C4 and ask her thoughts? By then you should know if it's a yes or no.

If it's a no then leave it do not try to force or coerce her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Perhaps give OP a break.

Early days, you don’t want to put your partner off. An established, long term relationship, is your partner going to wander what the hell is up.

OP is asking for advice on how to broach the subject. Some of you must have some advice for him without needing to hound him."

I'd agree that maybe the use of twist was a language misunderstanding. However then I got to the part where he thought of getting another woman to get to know her and turn her. To me that means he doesn't want to do the emotional labour that's involved in swinging and the communication and understanding how a partner feels about it but would be quite happy to discuss his wife and how to involve her in swinging with a woman who doesn't even know her yet.

I've seen many men ask this or similar questions and the answer is always the same...always, it's communication between partners There's no magical combination of words that will make a woman suddenly come up with the idea herself, no third party can talk her round and no surprise set up situation that will make her suddenly become a raving bisexual.

Respect, love, consideration, understanding and communication. That's the answer to raising this subject every, single, time.

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By *izzy.Woman
38 weeks ago

Stoke area

OP I think your choice of words is concerning, but will consider that is possibly because English is not your first language.

One comment you made was about other Indian couples enjoying swinging. There is cultural differences, so how about contacting them and discussing your situation with them.

Otherwise I would say you need to talk to your wife about fantasies, could you say you had a weird dream about ******* .

Go steady and constantly reassure her that you care about her etc. If she is very against the idea; then you aren't going to change her mind.

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