FabSwingers.com forum: Advice needed

By *reative-mind OP Man
48 weeks ago

Exeter

So save me guys, to steal a princess laya line "you're my only hope"

I've been on here a while now and yes I've had a meet so doing better than some, but I'm now finding that I actually receive zero replies and basically zero page views. I craft my messages and try to stand out from the usual "fancy a shag" crowd.

I've put out meets asking if anyone fancies a social and zip.

I've seen people say organised socials and clubs are great, im sure they are. The issue I have is I suffer with an anxiety disorder so to be honest I can see that ending with me sat in a corner like a rabbit in the headlights because I'd be attending alone and even if wasnt alone im not 100% sure how it go then.

Basically any advice is welcome, I've put effort in to my profile and being on here and it's actually starting to knock my confidence a bit the constant knock backs, fully appreciate i wont be to everyone tastes and i fully get women and couples get bombarded so its not a moan that women and couples should reply to 100% of messages or just fuck anyone because quite simply thats madness.

Help guys!

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By *edWitch0000Woman
48 weeks ago

worthing

Don't let it knock your confidence. Most people on fab don't seem to use it for arranging meets with people rather for networking with people they meet IRL or in clubs/parties.

I do think that putting your MH issues in your profile will put people off. Maybe it shouldn't but ultimately fab isn't a dating site and people don't generally want to be taking on other people's serious life issues with a fab meet. Are you sure fab is the place for you? I do wonder if a lot of single men on fab wouldn't do better on regular dating sites and work on building connection and intimacy with a woman/women IRL.

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By *iner69erMan
48 weeks ago

inverness

Have a load of drinks before going to a club. If not, your one meet could be like mine, you've had your million to one shot and it's unlikely you'll get anymore, no matter how many years you try.

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By *reative-mind OP Man
48 weeks ago

Exeter

"Don't let it knock your confidence. Most people on fab don't seem to use it for arranging meets with people rather for networking with people they meet IRL or in clubs/parties.

I think you are right about the mental health thing but I'm sort of in a rock and a hard place because if I don't say anything people apparently assume I'm up to know good because I can't acom and if I put it people are put off because they assume I'm well frankly unstable.

Dating site seem to be just as bad and to be honest I'm not looking for love or the one, I'm not even exactly solely looking for sex on here, like if I met someone had a social and they weren't for me sexually but I got on with them as friends then that's fine by me.

It's tough, my internship is based on me being open friendly and outgoing but that doesn't translate on here and working and doing it in a social environment like a club almost makes me panic thinking about it.

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By *oxy jWoman
48 weeks ago

somerset

you cant make people like you ..

you are one of many stand out by being you only you know you only you know what you want

most advice will give you yet another boring advice given profile like the many that asked

be you and dont expect anything have thick skin and be ok with rejection

for women attraction of sorts is key add in the fact that there are 100s of men vrs women youll find it hard how hard is down to you or not

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By *reative-mind OP Man
48 weeks ago

Exeter

"you cant make people like you ..

you are one of many stand out by being you only you know you only you know what you want

most advice will give you yet another boring advice given profile like the many that asked

be you and dont expect anything have thick skin and be ok with rejection

for women attraction of sorts is key add in the fact that there are 100s of men vrs women youll find it hard how hard is down to you or not"

I think I get your gist there but it's not as simple as being "yourself" is it.

Because being myself has landed an internship in a creative industry and other opportunities.

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
48 weeks ago

Northampton

Resilience my friend. This place is a school of hard knocks.

Clubs and socials you’ve already identified as the way to meet people, it really is. But be prepared, it’s also a place of rejection. However when it all clicks, you will have a lm amazing time.

Your mental health journey is your own. No need to share it on Fab. People will judge you either way, so choose which ever you are most comfortable with.

Remember, it’s supposed to be fun. If it isn’t then take stop and figure out why

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By *oxy jWoman
48 weeks ago

somerset

"you cant make people like you ..

you are one of many stand out by being you only you know you only you know what you want

most advice will give you yet another boring advice given profile like the many that asked

be you and dont expect anything have thick skin and be ok with rejection

for women attraction of sorts is key add in the fact that there are 100s of men vrs women youll find it hard how hard is down to you or not

I think I get your gist there but it's not as simple as being "yourself" is it.

Because being myself has landed an internship in a creative industry and other opportunities. "

it really is about being you your asking for advice about you from stranger who dont know you ... this scene is really simple attraction & rejection and thats it only you can stand out only you can be you .... the only thing you cant control is the sheer number of you looking at the few ... thats why this site and this scene will always be super hard .... and we are talking about the scene not your job or life outside just the scene you can be successful outside the scene you may date easy but that changes on this scene its about attraction and compatibility and the fact that most men will always find it hard

it is just my opinion

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
48 weeks ago

Leeds

Most women and couples look in ninja mode so I wouldn't worry about how many have viewed your profile.

There's tons of men to every woman and couple it's a numbers game, if it's getting you down maybe take a step back.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
48 weeks ago

Hi Creative-mind,

Single guy here so I understand where you are coming from.

(Btw I’m single because I like it that way. I’m an eagle, like to fly alone. That doesn’t stop me from having a good time)

I talk about various topics but one topic I have avoided so far is giving advice about relationships.

My advice here is for a single guy to enjoy his own company and current single status till the right one comes along.

Fab is not for meeting women, it’s for just being aware of what’s happening in the swinging world.

You want to meet a person, go to clubs and have a good social. Don’t go with expecting to score. That will happen when you are having a good social time and stop worrying.

Don’t be your worst enemy and put yourself down. You will find many others (often single guys or male partner in a couple) who will gladly do that for you. Side step them and keep dancing.

Research a good club and meet in your area. For me, I prefer quieter days when I can have a good conversation with a lady, rather than club meetings. But that’s just me.

Just be yourself

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By *reative-mind OP Man
48 weeks ago

Exeter

"Hi Creative-mind,

Single guy here so I understand where you are coming from.

(Btw I’m single because I like it that way. I’m an eagle, like to fly alone. That doesn’t stop me from having a good time)

I talk about various topics but one topic I have avoided so far is giving advice about relationships.

My advice here is for a single guy to enjoy his own company and current single status till the right one comes along.

Fab is not for meeting women, it’s for just being aware of what’s happening in the swinging world.

You want to meet a person, go to clubs and have a good social. Don’t go with expecting to score. That will happen when you are having a good social time and stop worrying.

Don’t be your worst enemy and put yourself down. You will find many others (often single guys or male partner in a couple) who will gladly do that for you. Side step them and keep dancing.

Research a good club and meet in your area. For me, I prefer quieter days when I can have a good conversation with a lady, rather than club meetings. But that’s just me.

Just be yourself

Thank you, I really appreciate that and all the advice.

I'd honestly love to try and club or a social but it's the actual anxiety and quite frankly embarrassment if I turn up and just go into my shell, that would crush me more then things have been.

I might take another break or just suck it up and keep messaging people who catch my eye I don't really know.

It's a tough one. Anyway have a great day and week everyone and once again thanks.

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By *electableicecreamMan
48 weeks ago

The West

Messaging by and large doesn't work. Particularly when you are new.

If a club feels overwhelming make try an organised social event.

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By (user no longer on site)
48 weeks ago

"Messaging by and large doesn't work. Particularly when you are new.

If a club feels overwhelming make try an organised social event. "

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By (user no longer on site)
48 weeks ago

Princess Leia*

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By *reative-mind OP Man
48 weeks ago

Exeter

"Princess Leia*"

Yeah her as well haha

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By *allySlinkyWoman
48 weeks ago

Leeds

I've put out meets asking if anyone fancies a social and zip.

What is a social and zip please ?

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By *reative-mind OP Man
48 weeks ago

Exeter

I've put out meets asking if anyone fancies a social and zip.

What is a social and zip please ?"

Social as in meet for a drink, coffee basically not a meet that has falling into bed at the end basically a meet that isnt just sex

Zip being slang for zero replies or interest.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
48 weeks ago

Leeds

Thanks for clarification. I was thinking it was a specific type of social I was unfamiliar with.

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By *reative-mind OP Man
48 weeks ago

Exeter

"Thanks for clarification. I was thinking it was a specific type of social I was unfamiliar with. "

No nothing weird, like a get to know someone thing.

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