FabSwingers.com forum: Advice

By *teve76100 OP Man
41 weeks ago

Portsmouth/London

Been on and off here a while now, but always seem to come off deflated.

Fully appreciate people will have a type and everything, but really gets to me when you see all the horror stories of how some blokes are with approaching women then comparing myself to that and feeling down on myself. Wondering where I go wrong!

I would really appreciate some advice on how to start off as I’d like to meet some like minded people eventually! I assume I’m being boring and not standing out, but I don’t think I’m being that bad, surely?

Thanks for the advice in advance and happy fabbing!

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By *eyond PurityCouple
41 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

You seem eloquent and polite on first glance, which is a good start.

Your profile is showing as over a year old, with no veri's, which isn't a good sign.

I would consider starting afresh with a new profile;

Aim to get along to a social, chat to a few people and at least get some veri's under your belt, so adding credence to your profile;

Check out a few of the successful competition. See what they do differently;

Sometimes it's just down to good (or bad) timing. Even if you match someone's criteria perfectly, they may already have a full dance card, be having an off day, a stressy family/work day, etc.

Stay positive in your communication. No-one likes a moaner - well not in that sense!

Best of luck

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By *nytime2023Couple
41 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

We aren’t your target audience but here goes. Firstly, you’re looking for single females and FF couples which are already some of the hardest to find on here. They are inundated with messages (100’s a day in some cases) Your profile is fairly vague on what you are offering them and your pictures are fine in our opinion (no dick pics next to remote controls is always a win) but the newest one is over 18 months old. Your age range is also limiting in our opinion but that’s your preference and we get that.

Unfortunately we will say what many have said to previous posts before, go to a club or a social. Much easier to connect with people in real life. In 7 months on here we have had 2 successful meets, every other verification we have is from clubs and socials. Best of luck with it. V&K xx

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By *oxy jWoman
41 weeks ago

somerset

stop worry about other men its not their fault your getting nowhere thats totally down to you .... how other men behave does not affect you only you affect you ..

your on a scene that is saturated with men/cock your on a scene where sexual attraction is key along with compatibility so rejection is always going to be high for most men so they only way your going to stand out is by being the real you so that people can see and make choices... there will be other preferences too that go against you ....

its that old saying we see so often on here from some men the bad guys ruin it for us good guys no they dont they ruin it for themselves and some like to hide behind that ...

if the scene is deflating you then maybe take a break no point in being somewhere thats getting you down ...this post wont get you a oh poor you if anything it will put a few more off .... the best way for any man today to get on the scene is try a club its that simple

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By *ickD80Man
41 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Your profile is very vague, I’ve read it but I have no idea what your interested in specifically. I know you say you’re not looking for anything specific but most people are so they’ll look for people who state in their profile that they’re looking for the same thing. I think you’ve written your bio to try to please everyone but have ended up not pleasing anyone. If you’re more specific about what you’re looking for then you’re obviously going to put some people off if they’re looking for something completely different but you’ll attract people who are looking for the same things as you.

Other than the first paragraph, your bio could be used to describe pretty much anyone, everyone has kinks of some kind, why would anyone want to meet someone who isn’t like minded to them or that they don’t get on with. You’re on a swingers site, everyone here is open minded and likes to try new things. You’re up for a chat to see if you like the same things? I think it’s safe to say that 99% of people who meet off here have had a chat to see if the like the same things before arranging to meet.

Imagine if this was a site for people who love food and want to interact with other people who like food, the equivalent bio on such a site would read something like…

I have my favourite foods but not looking to eat any specific food and will try different food. I’m looking to meet people who also like food and we don’t hate being in each other’s company. I’ll try different foods and explore different food and like being told about different food and invited to try different food.

I like to chat with people to see if they like the same food that I like.

Message me to find out exactly what food I like the most.

Pretty daft isn’t it….

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By *weetBrownSugarMan
41 weeks ago

salford

Hi mate, forget all that "horror stories" and focus on yourself.

Best way I found is to attend Club events (hopefully you discover the ones you like) and get chatting to people. Just know : you will NOT be everyone's cup of tea, but just be you and I can almost guarantee that you will eventually make friends who will be happy to connect with you on fab and in real life and the rest is up to bothvof you .

I can imagine trying to meet like minded people on Fab alone is bound to be frustrating. Good luck

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By *anchester_gentMan
41 weeks ago

Manchester/ Cheshire border

You’ve had some good advice already. I’d add:

Get a site support code. Shows you’re serious about the site

Get some veris from social meets. You don’t need to end up in bed - but people will see you’re genuine.

Add MF couples to your list if - as you say - you’re open to that.

And make it clear from your profile description why you’re different from any other guy on here. You need to be the best offer a woman / couple has in front of them, not just a decent bloke. So say what you really enjoy, what you don’t and why you’re maybe a little bit different from the last profile they saw and the next one they will look at.

Happy to help further if you like - I’m a bloke of 61 with over 250 veris, so I must have got a bit of a clue how this all works.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
41 weeks ago

London

Visit clubs and socials.

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By *rlandoMan
41 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

go to a local club or an organised social , you ll be pleasantly surprised how friendly and normal people are..

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By *xeterCandRCouple
41 weeks ago

Digby & Sowton, Exeter

[Removed by poster at 15/02/24 20:44:38]

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By *xeterCandRCouple
41 weeks ago

Digby & Sowton, Exeter

"You seem eloquent and polite on first glance, which is a good start.

Your profile is showing as over a year old, with no veri's, which isn't a good sign.

I would consider starting afresh with a new profile;

Aim to get along to a social, chat to a few people and at least get some veri's under your belt, so adding credence to your profile;

Check out a few of the successful competition. See what they do differently;

Sometimes it's just down to good (or bad) timing. Even if you match someone's criteria perfectly, they may already have a full dance card, be having an off day, a stressy family/work day, etc.

Stay positive in your communication. No-one likes a moaner - well not in that sense!

Best of luck

Yes totally agree..

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

Looking at your profile you’ve filled out a decent amount of info, the only thing I’d say is it’s kinda vague.. but so is mine so

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By *anchester_gentMan
36 weeks ago

Manchester/ Cheshire border

So you got lots of good advice 5 weeks ago.

And it appears you’ve not bothered to act on any of it. Still on the site - last online earlier today.

It kinda makes me wonder why good people spend their time trying to help others on here…..

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By *allySlinkyWoman
36 weeks ago

Leeds

There is an inconsistency with the two ages stated on your profile. Shows you haven't updated your profile for a while.

Personally I don't like pics with toilets in them, especially public toilets.

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