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"I asked my ex to be non-monogamous, he said no so I left. That’s about the sum of my failed attempts. Ever since I’ve just made sure I get into relationships where our values are aligned." So many don't align and end up having affairs or multiple casuals  | |||
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"I asked my ex to be non-monogamous, he said no so I left. That’s about the sum of my failed attempts. Ever since I’ve just made sure I get into relationships where our values are aligned. So many don't align and end up having affairs or multiple casuals "how true a statement is that? Totally. I have never aligned in regards a open relationship when perhaps I should have at least put it on the table. | |||
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"I asked my ex to be non-monogamous, he said no so I left. That’s about the sum of my failed attempts. Ever since I’ve just made sure I get into relationships where our values are aligned. So many don't align and end up having affairs or multiple casuals how true a statement is that? Totally. I have never aligned in regards a open relationship when perhaps I should have at least put it on the table. "The key, for me, is to only date people who are ethically non-monogamous in the first place. I’d never attempt to date a monogamous person and try to convert them. | |||
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"What you should do is get ur wife a present or a male masseuse who comes to the house to give partner massages but sensual massage this is a great way to get the woman in and horny being touched by another man just let her know that it’s a full body massage with sensual touching to give her a orgasm and let her know it’s ok to touch him too if she wants and see how far she takes it in the heat of the moment. I’ve done this a few times and always 90 % of the time the woman really opens up and we all end up in a threesome and it’s great xx" Possibly the worst advice on this subject I've seen. 
Unless that's a step that follows a lot of honest talking and sharing of fantasies which lead you to understand she'd enjoy that massage....... | |||
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"What you should do is get ur wife a present or a male masseuse who comes to the house to give partner massages but sensual massage this is a great way to get the woman in and horny being touched by another man just let her know that it’s a full body massage with sensual touching to give her a orgasm and let her know it’s ok to touch him too if she wants and see how far she takes it in the heat of the moment. I’ve done this a few times and always 90 % of the time the woman really opens up and we all end up in a threesome and it’s great xx" This is sexual assault. | |||
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"What you should do is get ur wife a present or a male masseuse who comes to the house to give partner massages but sensual massage this is a great way to get the woman in and horny being touched by another man just let her know that it’s a full body massage with sensual touching to give her a orgasm and let her know it’s ok to touch him too if she wants and see how far she takes it in the heat of the moment. I’ve done this a few times and always 90 % of the time the woman really opens up and we all end up in a threesome and it’s great xx" Or....maybe don't do this ...coz ...it's fucking gross | |||
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"What you should do is get ur wife a present or a male masseuse who comes to the house to give partner massages but sensual massage this is a great way to get the woman in and horny being touched by another man just let her know that it’s a full body massage with sensual touching to give her a orgasm and let her know it’s ok to touch him too if she wants and see how far she takes it in the heat of the moment. I’ve done this a few times and always 90 % of the time the woman really opens up and we all end up in a threesome and it’s great xx" Up there with the worst advice ever given to anyone on any subject ever. Disgusting. | |||
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"I asked my ex to be non-monogamous, he said no so I left. That’s about the sum of my failed attempts. Ever since I’ve just made sure I get into relationships where our values are aligned." The funny thing is, society considers sexual compatibility as a bonus, not a requirement. If you told "society" you didn't date someone because they had different political views or were vegan and you loved meat no one would batter an eyelid, but tell them it's because your date isn't kinky or open minded enough and people freak out and say that sex isn't everything etc etc. | |||
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"What's stopping you asking him/her/them? Do you already no they will say No? Most of us, wishing for this experience don't have a Scooby Doo how our partner is aroused, so thrusting them into a Ferrari experience when they think they'd prefer a mini, or getting a take away when nothing but a Michelin star will do. One can make many contrasting comparisons...So starting with a " honey I'd love to see you fuck someone else, when they go coy and shy when a stranger asks them to dance....you see my point Please DM to discuss or chat here about your failed attempts... " No, I absolutely don’t see your point, sorry. I don’t know if it’s just me but I really can’t see what point you’re trying to make. I can tell that you’re talking about wanting your partner to fuck someone else but not knowing how to approach the subject but I don’t get the Ferrari and take away comparisons. If you’re in a relationship but you don’t know how to arouse your partner then there’s something very wrong in your relationship (or it’s incredibly early days in the relationship before you’ve had time to get to know each other properly). If you don’t know what your partner would prefer out of two completely opposite options (whether it’s something sexual or not) then you haven’t taken the time or made the effort to get to know your partner properly. Are you saying that a good start is to tell your partner that you want to see her fuck someone else when you see that she’s shy about dancing with someone else, or are you saying that’s a bad way to start? I just can’t imagine why anyone would say that to someone in that situation and if someone did then they don’t deserve to be in a relationship with anyone and are clearly a sociopath. | |||
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"What you should do is get ur wife a present or a male masseuse who comes to the house to give partner massages but sensual massage this is a great way to get the woman in and horny being touched by another man just let her know that it’s a full body massage with sensual touching to give her a orgasm and let her know it’s ok to touch him too if she wants and see how far she takes it in the heat of the moment. I’ve done this a few times and always 90 % of the time the woman really opens up and we all end up in a threesome and it’s great xx Up there with the worst advice ever given to anyone on any subject ever. Disgusting. " I think that's a great idea | |||
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"What you should do is get ur wife a present or a male masseuse who comes to the house to give partner massages but sensual massage this is a great way to get the woman in and horny being touched by another man just let her know that it’s a full body massage with sensual touching to give her a orgasm and let her know it’s ok to touch him too if she wants and see how far she takes it in the heat of the moment. I’ve done this a few times and always 90 % of the time the woman really opens up and we all end up in a threesome and it’s great xx Up there with the worst advice ever given to anyone on any subject ever. Disgusting. I think that's a great idea " You think sexual assault is a great idea? | |||
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"What's stopping you asking him/her/them? Do you already no they will say No? Most of us, wishing for this experience don't have a Scooby Doo how our partner is aroused, so thrusting them into a Ferrari experience when they think they'd prefer a mini, or getting a take away when nothing but a Michelin star will do. One can make many contrasting comparisons...So starting with a " honey I'd love to see you fuck someone else, when they go coy and shy when a stranger asks them to dance....you see my point Please DM to discuss or chat here about your failed attempts... No, I absolutely don’t see your point, sorry. I don’t know if it’s just me but I really can’t see what point you’re trying to make. I can tell that you’re talking about wanting your partner to fuck someone else but not knowing how to approach the subject but I don’t get the Ferrari and take away comparisons. If you’re in a relationship but you don’t know how to arouse your partner then there’s something very wrong in your relationship (or it’s incredibly early days in the relationship before you’ve had time to get to know each other properly). If you don’t know what your partner would prefer out of two completely opposite options (whether it’s something sexual or not) then you haven’t taken the time or made the effort to get to know your partner properly. Are you saying that a good start is to tell your partner that you want to see her fuck someone else when you see that she’s shy about dancing with someone else, or are you saying that’s a bad way to start? I just can’t imagine why anyone would say that to someone in that situation and if someone did then they don’t deserve to be in a relationship with anyone and are clearly a sociopath. " My relationship is great thanks. Though my views, experiences and likes and dislikes are different to my wife's, which is completely normal. She's a different person. Pick almost any subject and our views are different. We're different. And that is both natural and healthy. The common wisdom to a great long lasting relationship is honest communication and compromise. Sex is probably the hardest of all topics to discuss in our relationships. Why is that... My point being that if sex was a game of monopoly, one person wants to have a conversation about buying Mayfair while the other person is quite happy at Old Kent Road. With so many single people on here in relationships, i am open to sharing some ideas (and welcome others to do the same) about what has worked in our relationships and what hasn't.... Yes, I like and want to share my wife. She doesnt want to 95% of the time and never thinks about it. But occasionally when the right opportunity comes along, and the stars align, we have that experience because we've talked about it and I understand as much as I can about her and it's right for her and us in that moment. So nothing controversial, just a warm open conversation.  | |||
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"I asked my ex to be non-monogamous, he said no so I left. That’s about the sum of my failed attempts. Ever since I’ve just made sure I get into relationships where our values are aligned. So many don't align and end up having affairs or multiple casuals how true a statement is that? Totally. I have never aligned in regards a open relationship when perhaps I should have at least put it on the table.
The key, for me, is to only date people who are ethically non-monogamous in the first place. I’d never attempt to date a monogamous person and try to convert them."Absolutely 100% agree. It’s something I raise before even going for a coffee date. If it’s not going to work why waste both people’s time? Clear; honest, and upfront, never a bait and switch. | |||
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"What you should do is get ur wife a present or a male masseuse who comes to the house to give partner massages but sensual massage this is a great way to get the woman in and horny being touched by another man just let her know that it’s a full body massage with sensual touching to give her a orgasm and let her know it’s ok to touch him too if she wants and see how far she takes it in the heat of the moment. I’ve done this a few times and always 90 % of the time the woman really opens up and we all end up in a threesome and it’s great xx" Said nobody ever apart from a fantasist… think this post is on the wrong tab and is highly suspicious behaviour | |||
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"What's stopping you asking him/her/them? Do you already no they will say No? Most of us, wishing for this experience don't have a Scooby Doo how our partner is aroused, so thrusting them into a Ferrari experience when they think they'd prefer a mini, or getting a take away when nothing but a Michelin star will do. One can make many contrasting comparisons...So starting with a " honey I'd love to see you fuck someone else, when they go coy and shy when a stranger asks them to dance....you see my point Please DM to discuss or chat here about your failed attempts... No, I absolutely don’t see your point, sorry. I don’t know if it’s just me but I really can’t see what point you’re trying to make. I can tell that you’re talking about wanting your partner to fuck someone else but not knowing how to approach the subject but I don’t get the Ferrari and take away comparisons. If you’re in a relationship but you don’t know how to arouse your partner then there’s something very wrong in your relationship (or it’s incredibly early days in the relationship before you’ve had time to get to know each other properly). If you don’t know what your partner would prefer out of two completely opposite options (whether it’s something sexual or not) then you haven’t taken the time or made the effort to get to know your partner properly. Are you saying that a good start is to tell your partner that you want to see her fuck someone else when you see that she’s shy about dancing with someone else, or are you saying that’s a bad way to start? I just can’t imagine why anyone would say that to someone in that situation and if someone did then they don’t deserve to be in a relationship with anyone and are clearly a sociopath. My relationship is great thanks. Though my views, experiences and likes and dislikes are different to my wife's, which is completely normal. She's a different person. Pick almost any subject and our views are different. We're different. And that is both natural and healthy. The common wisdom to a great long lasting relationship is honest communication and compromise. Sex is probably the hardest of all topics to discuss in our relationships. Why is that... My point being that if sex was a game of monopoly, one person wants to have a conversation about buying Mayfair while the other person is quite happy at Old Kent Road. With so many single people on here in relationships, i am open to sharing some ideas (and welcome others to do the same) about what has worked in our relationships and what hasn't.... Yes, I like and want to share my wife. She doesnt want to 95% of the time and never thinks about it. But occasionally when the right opportunity comes along, and the stars align, we have that experience because we've talked about it and I understand as much as I can about her and it's right for her and us in that moment. So nothing controversial, just a warm open conversation. "Thanks for clarifying, personally I’d have thought that being in a relationship with someone who has completely different views, opinions, tastes, interests, likes and dislikes to my own wouldn’t be very enjoyable and not what I’d look for so it’s good that you can make that work so well. I’m not saying that I need to be with someone who has the exact same views, tastes etc as me but I’d want there to be some similarities, it would be difficult to enjoy spending time with someone who has totally different tastes to my own because surely it would mean that anything i enjoy doing she doesn’t, and vice-versa. I’ve also never been in a relationship with someone who i found it difficult to talk about sex with, sex has always been a subject I’ve discussed a lot with my partner because sex is a big part of a relationship, it’s not the only thing and it’s not the most important thing but it is important. I played monopoly a lot when I was a kid with my siblings and cousins and we regularly had discussions about which properties were our favourites to buy and why, that’s the beauty of monopoly, there are pros and cons to all the different properties and buying the most expensive properties doesn’t necessarily guarantee success. This was always a very enjoyable and interesting discussion so I don’t know why you’ve used that as an example of a difficult conversation. It would be a lot clearer if you just spoke about exactly what it is you have difficulties discussing rather than using comparisons that don’t make much sense. Sexual tastes, likes and dislikes are very fluid as we don’t just like one thing and nothing else, we have various different things that we enjoy and everyone has a different ‘list’ of things they enjoy that can overlap with other people’s in places but very rarely are 2 people’s lists exactly the same. You’re comparing this to very binary tastes, Ferrari or mini, takeaway or Michelin star….and why compare things that are considered opposite ends of the spectrum in terms of quality and enjoyment? Are you saying that some people enjoy high quality, enjoyable sex whilst others prefer less satisfying, more ordinary sex? I really don’t think there’s anything you can compare people’s sexual tastes and desires with because there’s nothing else that can be so varied and diverse. It’s very good of you to offer your experience to help others by telling us what has worked for you and what hasn’t, I’m just wondering when you’re going to do that because so far you haven’t offered any advice or shared any experiences with us at all. | |||
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"We decided to see what swinging was about by visiting OP4f. We had a great time and have been to quite a few Clubs since. We have always had fun going, sometimes with each other, sometimes with single guys, sometimes couples and one time a group. But we’ve also had great fun on our own and sometimes not played till we got home. To start with we were terrified of letting each other down, now we are more relaxed and have a better idea of what each other want and need. Swinging is about having fun, letting your hair down and doing something that loads of people want to do, but too few give it a go! "Thanks for sharing your experience. How did you get to the conversation about going to a club the first time? We ventured into house parties as we felt it a less sexually focused environment, which as a learnt over time my wife prefers. She prefers her sexual desire to creep up on her unexpectedly. L&D | |||
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"I have been upfront about how I’d love to see her with other men and have a threesome, a man an me. But she said no, she’s not interested. I still talk about it, I feel like she’s holding herself back " Trust her words. It is up to her if she wants to hold herself back. It’s called personal autonomy. Exactly what you are doing by being here. By still talking about it with her as something you want her to do after such after a firm no, it’s harassment and manipulation. Don’t be surprised if she too goes elsewhere as well, to find someone that respects her wishes. | |||
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"We decided to see what swinging was about by visiting OP4f. We had a great time and have been to quite a few Clubs since. We have always had fun going, sometimes with each other, sometimes with single guys, sometimes couples and one time a group. But we’ve also had great fun on our own and sometimes not played till we got home. To start with we were terrified of letting each other down, now we are more relaxed and have a better idea of what each other want and need. Swinging is about having fun, letting your hair down and doing something that loads of people want to do, but too few give it a go!
Thanks for sharing your experience. How did you get to the conversation about going to a club the first time?
We ventured into house parties as we felt it a less sexually focused environment, which as a learnt over time my wife prefers. She prefers her sexual desire to creep up on her unexpectedly.
L&D"M brought the subject up in advance and we decided to see what it was all about. I’ve always liked getting ‘dressed up’ for Clubs and we liked going to London, so we chose OP4f. We were very nervous to start with (still get a bit nervous) and sort of put up all sort of rules and safety words. But once in we were way more relaxed than we thought, the people were lovely and the white lines on the floor meant we could play in front of people without others joining unless asked. We chatted to a guy who caressed me and started to gently play with me, but neither of us were sure what to do next! We chatted to a lovely couple that we both fancied, but again didn’t know what to do next! We were so wet, but we had great fun and decided to go to other Clubs to learn more and see what we liked | |||
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