FabSwingers.com forum: Tips on getting messages answered

By (user no longer on site) OP
41 weeks ago

Not been here for 6 months, I made this a while back haha only been using it for less than a week. Since then I've legit had 2 people answer. I read through peoples profiles and try not to message with "How you doing" but I don't know what else I could respond with other than "nice pic" or "wanna meet" but I know people don't like that either lol.

Maybe I'm not most peoples type or something yeah thats chill haha Im not entitled but has anyone got any tips?

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By *atentHeelsCouple
41 weeks ago

Salford

Genuine and polite. That’s it. Even if I/we don’t fancy people who message, if it’s a nice polite message relevant to our page and what we’ve wrote then we always reply.

You could be gods gift looks wise, but if you send a cocky message thinking we’re desperate and blessed to have you message us, or a couple of words message then nope. No reply.

This won’t be the same for all but that’s how we roll

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By *rHotNottsMan
41 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

If you don’t know what to write then maybe that person hasn’t really grabbed you. I rarely message new people maybe 1 a month but it’s never difficult.

Think if it like a job search. Some people whine & send the same cv again and again to hundreds of vacancies it ends up in the recycle bin. Others don’t want for a vacancy they carefully target the best companies in the world even if it means relocating ! Who has the most success ?

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By *hrimper36Couple
41 weeks ago

Central France dept 36

You haven’t asked for profile advice so none will be given ha ha ha ha ha but maybe try sending ha ha messages lol ha ha that could be judged to be a bit ha ha lol ha more grown up lol.

Less ha ha and more content.

And be respectful and honest and most of all be YOU and not épilé from the forum.

Best of luck and welcome.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
41 weeks ago

Got you thanks for the input!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
41 weeks ago

Just how I talk, im 23 and like to express emotion in texts, kinda normal for my people my age lol but thank you i'll take notes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
41 weeks ago

Good way of thinking cheers bro

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

"If you don’t know what to write then maybe that person hasn’t really grabbed you. I rarely message new people maybe 1 a month but it’s never difficult.

….."

Actually, that’s really good advice on who and how to message

I can relate to that completely.

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By *andadbodMan
41 weeks ago

Liverpool

When you send a message the first thing the recipient will do is look at your profile, it’s your shop window, would it make you go in and make a purchase?

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

"When you send a message the first thing the recipient will do is look at your profile, it’s your shop window, would it make you go in and make a purchase?"

my shop must look like it’s shut down.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
41 weeks ago

Worcester

Start by putting your location on your profile. I never want to have to ask about the basics and it does make a difference to me.

Send a polite and friendly message about what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for one off hookups with no social then say that. If you’re looking to build something fun and ongoing then say that.

Tell them a bit about what you like. Do you enjoy going to clubs, wearing latex, bdsm play… what is it that you’re looking for?

Try and indicate that you’ve read their profile somehow.

Make it feel like you’re looking for something reasonably specific and that the person fits your desires. Most people don’t want to feel like they’re just a hole to be used by someone who doesn’t give a shit who they’re fucking.

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By *andadbodMan
41 weeks ago

Liverpool

"When you send a message the first thing the recipient will do is look at your profile, it’s your shop window, would it make you go in and make a purchase?

my shop must look like it’s shut down. "

i’d say it was having a reduced to clear sale

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
41 weeks ago

London or Bedford

*Stay local

*Try to only message when they’re online. That way your message will be at the top of the pile. And less likely to get lost in the Inbox shuffle

*Take time to craft some crackin’ funny ice-breakers you can cut’n paste

Theirs nothing worse than taking the time to message someone. And they don’t even take the time to say No.

You’ll feel less shitty about it, with the minimum effort on your part.

Atleast, that’s what I do

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

"Not been here for 6 months, I made this a while back haha only been using it for less than a week. Since then I've legit had 2 people answer. I read through peoples profiles and try not to message with "How you doing" but I don't know what else I could respond with other than "nice pic" or "wanna meet" but I know people don't like that either lol.

Maybe I'm not most peoples type or something yeah thats chill haha Im not entitled but has anyone got any tips?

Be yourself.

Be honest

Introduce yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

There is no one size fits all, everyone is unique

My opinion... If the other person doesn't find you attractive its going no where

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
41 weeks ago

Cheshire

Their profile and your own is the key. Ensure you have something worth reading on your own profile. Then look out for something unique on their profile or even their pictures. It may give you a clue about what would create some interest in any message you send.

I get plenty of messages from guys with only one line text profiles. Tells me nothing and generally the message will be ‘Hi’ or ‘Meeting’.

Good luck as it’s a tough site for single guys.

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By *atentHeelsCouple
41 weeks ago

Salford

"When you send a message the first thing the recipient will do is look at your profile, it’s your shop window, would it make you go in and make a purchase?"

You know what, I don’t look at peoples profiles for ages. If what they say is interesting I’d rather get to know their mind as that is sexier than their body and anatomy.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
41 weeks ago

Reading

Be what they are looking for. I am so clear in my profile about being local yet the messages I get are from all over the country.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
41 weeks ago

Leeds

The 1st thing I do when someone messages is look at their pics and read the profile if either aren't for me I won't reply.

You haven't asked for profile advice so I can't give it.

Mrs

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By *issmorganWoman
41 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

"Be what they are looking for. I am so clear in my profile about being local yet the messages I get are from all over the country."

This deffo, I had someone from 300+ miles start chatting about meeting. He doesn't work or travel to my area, so no idea why he chose to message me.

Also only message those you're genuinely interested in and take time to show you've read their profile.

I'd maybe move the bit about 7 inches further down your profile too, so it's not the first thing someone reads when they look at your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
41 weeks ago

A well structured complimentary message always grabs my attention, especially if even after reading my profile you still take the time to message and compliment even if your not what I’m looking for, I will normally engage out of respect

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By *oupleSouthEast69Couple
41 weeks ago

brighton

"Just how I talk, im 23 and like to express emotion in texts, kinda normal for my people my age lol but thank you i'll take notes

Most swingers are a fair bit older than you. Bear that in mind I guess.

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By *estaftermidnightCouple
41 weeks ago

Chorley

Take the time to read the profile properly and see if they have a 'keyword' they want you to use in the title. We have one and generally skip over and delete anyone who doesn't use it, as it means they haven't bothered to read our profile of haven't taken the time to read it properly. You wouldn't believe how many don't use it.

Hope this helps

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By *ysonfuryMan
41 weeks ago

Stockport

As above look for key words. Try to include a question or include a comment about something in their profile. Be polite, address them by their username or names if it's in the profile. If it's a couple say hello to both. Be polite, say something about yourself. If you can accommodate that's worth mentioning. Loads of single guys on so don't get upset if you dont get a reply, we can't be everybody's cup if tea. Good luck and happy fabbing

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By *teveanddebsCouple
41 weeks ago

Norwich

"You haven’t asked for profile advice so none will be given "

This old chestnut, you can give profile advice if it is relevant, asked for or not.

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By *electableicecreamMan
41 weeks ago

The West

"You haven’t asked for profile advice so none will be given

This old chestnut, you can give profile advice if it is relevant, asked for or not. "

Yeah I don't get it. OP asked for tips on getting messages answered. Feedback on his profile is obviously germane.

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By *orny-DJMan
41 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea

I would have thought the key most important sure-fire way of getting a response is to actually be the person that you're messaging is looking for.

And I thought that this would be pretty obvious to most.

You're not going to appeal to everyone. In fact, you'll likely only appeal to a handful of people - and probably half of those might not appeal to you.

Most people that you message will check out your profile before even thinking of reading your message and if they don't feel you're a good match often won't see any point in replying - even if it's a 'no' because many have found that when they do, it's often followed up with messages asking why not.

Site rules state that a non-reply should be taken as a 'no, thank you'

You also have to consider that some members get inundated on a daily basis and simply do not have the time to message back all those people who they're not interested in.

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By *heSuccubusWoman
41 weeks ago

Darlington

Your initial message could be a belter but I usually look at the profile before the message attached to it.

I'm obviously not going to offer unasked for feedback on that, but I'd probably not open your message

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
41 weeks ago

South West London

If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that

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By *electableicecreamMan
41 weeks ago

The West

"If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that"

No need to argue. It's just not true.

That simple fact is that messaging is like pissing in the wind.

Meeting at social events, clubs and treating swinging as a lifestyle choice and a social network is a much more effective approach.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
41 weeks ago

Worcester

"If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that"

Lol. You're so funny.

I must be imagining all the men I've met who aren't earning six figures, and all my male friends must be imagining the women they sleep with.

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By *adCherriesCouple
41 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

I wouldn't meet anyone younger then me.

You have a great body but Fab can be a difficult place, keep positive and maybe try a club aimed at what you are looking for.

Mrs

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By *adCherriesCouple
41 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest

"If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that"

Can't say I've ever seen someone's bank balance / wage slip before slipping a condom on them

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
41 weeks ago

South West London

"If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that

No need to argue. It's just not true.

That simple fact is that messaging is like pissing in the wind.

Meeting at social events, clubs and treating swinging as a lifestyle choice and a social network is a much more effective approach."
are you telling me most women dont like men that are over 6ft? Ok

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By *electableicecreamMan
41 weeks ago

The West

"If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that

No need to argue. It's just not true.

That simple fact is that messaging is like pissing in the wind.

Meeting at social events, clubs and treating swinging as a lifestyle choice and a social network is a much more effective approach. are you telling me most women dont like men that are over 6ft? Ok"

Go to a social event or a club and see how many men look like you describe.

Look at some men's profiles on here and read their veri's and see what they look like.

Or you know, maybe actually listen to women.

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By *issmorganWoman
41 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

"If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that"

How much someone earns has never even come up when deciding to meet anyone.

In fact it would be a turn off if someone were to brag about their earnings/wealth.

Many women do like a tall man, but not all & it's not the tallest, most buff men who do well on the scene.

It's the ones who make an effort with messages & attend socials where they get known to others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
41 weeks ago

Thank you for all the feed back people, I appreciate it.

Couldn't get on for a while and there is way too many to respond too individually but I've taken notes, thank you

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
41 weeks ago

Bristol/ Daventry

"If you're not 6ft or over, muscular and earning at least 6 figures most women wont look at most mens way. Some people may argue with that but its just facts and theres even statistics to show that"

87% of statistics are made up.

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By *ylonseeker2023Man
41 weeks ago

Harwich

"You haven’t asked for profile advice so none will be given ha ha ha ha ha but maybe try sending ha ha messages lol ha ha that could be judged to be a bit ha ha lol ha more grown up lol.

Less ha ha and more content.

And be respectful and honest and most of all be YOU and not épilé from the forum.

Best of luck and welcome.

I think that I detect some degree of profile advice.. lol.

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