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Swinging, inclusion and diversity.

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By *nuggle_fuckers OP   Couple
49 weeks ago

Cardiff

After a recent work scare we've had to heavily redact our profile. My partner works in a sensitive professional job. Despite being open about our lifestyle with friends family and work, who have all been accepting. A minority have chosen to stalk social media platforms, and here to find our profiles.

The images have then been shared around the work place. My partner never shows his face publicly or has any work related photos connected to swinging.

The management have done the right thing, and disciplined the individuals involved. But he's had an informal warning that he can't be actively seen to be engaging in any sexual acts on the Internet as it could bring the company into disrepute.

What's annoying in this, is had he been outed as gay by being found on a dating app, or decided to identify as a female and share images of him dressed in womens clothes. We doubt the management would of given the same warning. I.e hide who you are, we get the sexual images aspect but it does beg the question. In what year will it be acceptable to say "hi I'm a swinger" or "hey we're consensualy non monogamous" and it be accepted by the public without judgement?

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
49 weeks ago

Birmingham

Girl, I don't know but it feels like we're still a million miles away.

I'm sorry you guys are going through that. It isn't right. Is it worth him speaking to HR? Union? I know nothing may come of that but could be good to gather asmuch advice as possible (if you haven't already done all this) as there has been a warning.

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By *nuggle_fuckers OP   Couple
49 weeks ago

Cardiff

We're in touch with a solicitor to try and get something drafted up that basically says what we do outside of work isn't any of your business. And if you don't like it, don't go looking.

But definitely does feel so far away. You'd think in 2024 where people can identity as what they want, saying you're in a CNM relationship would be the least of their worries.

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

I wonder if this could potentially fall under discrimination act based on your sexuality as like you said if it was straight cut like being gay and you were outed then that would be classed as discrimination and potentially damaging to company if it ever went further…, wonder if the solicitor could check the law on it n maybe include in the letter

It’s such a shame that even in this day and age this lifestyle is frowned upon yet other aspects of sexuality/gender widely accepted

Really sorry your going through this but hope it blows over soon x Jules x

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

We had a conversation about this at work and how what you do and publish on social media or any platform can bring your company into disrepute.

The conversation turned to how gay pride was positive for a company but being on other type of marches may not be.

It’s a whole world of confusion. I understand what can or can’t be said in work but now to hold people accountable for outside of it is something we may all have to consider

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By *ellhungvweMan
49 weeks ago

Cheltenham

It would be interesting to find out what the company has done in other cases where people have been outed because of their sexual activity. Sexual orientation is a protected characteristic and I am sure a good lawyer could argue swinging is covered.

If the process is not consistent then I would imagine the company could be laying themselves open to a discrimination case.

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple
49 weeks ago

Nottingham

Still lots or narrow minded people in the world unfortunately and you are right if he had be outed as gay or trans the reaction would've been different.

To be fair , if it was my company I would have an issue if my employees, who are clearly identifiable, were on internet videos having group sex with others. Particularly if they were in customer focused roles. I think his company have acted appropriately by giving an informal warning.

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By *amsubMan
49 weeks ago

hyde

Some really strange horrid people about you both need a dad hug stay strong xx

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By *m3232Man
49 weeks ago

maidenhead

Myself I would look at how much it’s going to cost you and is it worth it.

I would say don’t bother wasting your money to achieve absolutely nothing imo.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
49 weeks ago

East Sussex

It's difficult because in my opinion it very much depends on his line of work.

In general I'd say that it doesn't matter what you get up to out of office hours but that the reality is that it could impact negatively on an individual and their employer. Regardless of our personal opinion a teacher for example is going to have a hard time maintaining their authority over a class of 16 year olds if they've seen pictures of them naked or engaged in sexual activity. That's before we get to the outraged parents and governors.

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By *ensualMan
49 weeks ago

Sutton

As I read it and I may be wrong, the issue is having sexually explicit pictures on the internet and not that he was a swinger. This would apply whether you were gay or trans. Sexual explicitness is usually not seen as family friendly or work values.

It is terrible that idiots out people.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
49 weeks ago

East Sussex


"As I read it and I may be wrong, the issue is having sexually explicit pictures on the internet and not that he was a swinger. This would apply whether you were gay or trans. Sexual explicitness is usually not seen as family friendly or work values.

It is terrible that idiots out people."

That's how I read it too

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple
49 weeks ago

Nottingham

Agreed, the problem is with the outers , not the company

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By *oupleSouthEast69Couple
49 weeks ago

brighton

This isn't about discrimination against your orientation as ENM. It's about posting sexual material online. There are some professions in which posting sexual content online would undermine your professional standing. Whether or not you agree with that is irrelevant really.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
49 weeks ago

Central

I'm guessing that there's going to be a difference between discrimination because of identity and action taken because of employee behaviour. It would definitely be totally wrong for someone to be discriminated solely because of who they are. Identity isn't a choice. Behaviours are choices though.

I don't see the freedoms that we have outside of work to be anything that should be restricted by the employer. If things are legal, then we shouldn't lose them as choices.

I'm guessing that organisations will still be doing the same in at least 20 years from now. There's a rise in repression around the world, that pushes my thoughts

Perhaps they could pay a premium for repression of freedom 24/7…

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 30/01/24 13:08:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago


"After a recent work scare we've had to heavily redact our profile. My partner works in a sensitive professional job. Despite being open about our lifestyle with friends family and work, who have all been accepting. A minority have chosen to stalk social media platforms, and here to find our profiles.

The images have then been shared around the work place. My partner never shows his face publicly or has any work related photos connected to swinging.

The management have done the right thing, and disciplined the individuals involved. But he's had an informal warning that he can't be actively seen to be engaging in any sexual acts on the Internet as it could bring the company into disrepute.

What's annoying in this, is had he been outed as gay by being found on a dating app, or decided to identify as a female and share images of him dressed in womens clothes. We doubt the management would of given the same warning. I.e hide who you are, we get the sexual images aspect but it does beg the question. In what year will it be acceptable to say "hi I'm a swinger" or "hey we're consensualy non monogamous" and it be accepted by the public without judgement? "

Being outed as gay is different to having sexually explicit images of yourself online.

Companies have a reputation to protect and also they need to ensure their employees are not vulnerable to security problems such as sextortion and other issues that within the business.

It’s hard to give any more context without knowing the type of roll he’s in.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
49 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"We're in touch with a solicitor to try and get something drafted up that basically says what we do outside of work isn't any of your business. And if you don't like it, don't go looking.

But definitely does feel so far away. You'd think in 2024 where people can identity as what they want, saying you're in a CNM relationship would be the least of their worries. "

That might be tricky.

I was outed to the company I used to work for over a decade ago by someone id thrown out of a club I was helping to run ( worked for a global financial business) and they had a strict reputational disrepute clause in contracts that covered everything from anti-social behaviour in/out of the workplace, online social media activity and yes - the likes of swinging and compromising images.

The contract was watertight and given the size of their legal department would have been impossible to argue against. When you signed it you were expected to be fully aware of the clause, so couldn't argue that anything you did that was seen to breach it was acceptable.

Fortunately I always hid my face. My profile was vague on location and contained no personal info that could easily identify me. I used another name.

So when I was sat with my boss and HR and they showed me my own profile I just said 'who's that?'. Maintaining plausible deniability is key in certain professions. They couldn't prove it was me, I denied it and nothing happened.

Hiding your own face and visible tattoos isn't always enough. If your partner shows their face or can be identified you're effectively just as visible.

Kudos to those that are happy and willing to be seen - it's always personal choice - but discretion is important to most and anyone who breaches that is both a cunt and should be reported to the site.

Respect people's wishes for privacy at all times.

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

I’m sorry Princess. It’s horrible getting dragged into drama and unpleasantries, when all you want to do is keep yourself to yourself and have a bit of fun.

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By *nuggle_fuckers OP   Couple
49 weeks ago

Cardiff


"I wonder if this could potentially fall under discrimination act based on your sexuality as like you said if it was straight cut like being gay and you were outed then that would be classed as discrimination and potentially damaging to company if it ever went further…, wonder if the solicitor could check the law on it n maybe include in the letter

It’s such a shame that even in this day and age this lifestyle is frowned upon yet other aspects of sexuality/gender widely accepted

Really sorry your going through this but hope it blows over soon x Jules x "

This is something we're actively doing just to cover his back

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
49 weeks ago

Norwichish

Private life is private life, and everyone has the right to privacy.

At the point you make yourself known in public you have chosen to remove that privacy.

If you then get spotted online and are identifiable then I fear it’s fair game for the employer to take issue with your conduct (dependent on the job I guess).

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By *orn-in-69Couple
49 weeks ago

Shipley

That is so bad for you both. Hope you get sorted soon.

Unfortunately we are generally seen as dirty staggers not an oppressed minority.

Good luck with it all. (Mr W)

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
49 weeks ago

Coventry

Personally I don't see any grouds that your sexual apatite should be any grounds disciplinary action. Employers should not have a position on any legal sexaul preference.

However I guess the public posting of sexual content could be problematic with regards certain employments.

Now I also wonder as you do if Swingers get a fair crack of the whip or if we are fairer game than other more protected groups? I feel its the same for the kink community. It definitely feels like society care less about our protection. I also do wonder if for example a gay employee would face the same consequences for publishing the same media content? Or if a member of a more protected group would be seen as too much as a hot potato to handle and it let slide? I think we all just want an equal crack of the whip and as swingers it doesn't feel like that. Although I think we are more accepted in society and media than ever before. But it's work in progress.

It's also fair that this opinion is base on person perception and experience rather than data or case studies.

Mr

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By *assy LassieWoman
49 weeks ago

Lanarkshire


"As I read it and I may be wrong, the issue is having sexually explicit pictures on the internet and not that he was a swinger. This would apply whether you were gay or trans. Sexual explicitness is usually not seen as family friendly or work values.

It is terrible that idiots out people."

That's how I read it. To be fair I think most professions would be the same with identifiable photos.

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By *oxy jWoman
49 weeks ago

taunton somerset

i would be seeking legal advice and taking it further if poss ..

just the passing the pictures around is a clear law breaker with the recent law change's and revenge porn

employment laws are tricky but theres alot that protects you too your entitled to a private life

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

Swinging is nothing to do with inclusion and diversity in that sense. It's an adult sexual activity, like the 'petting parties' of the 1920's or Roman orgies. As adult activities it's not necessarily appropriate to associate with any profession or workplace. It's not a stigma thing, it's a common sense thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
49 weeks ago

That said, if colleagues have been sharing pictures the first thing he should do is think hard about if he wants to continue working there. If not, then we would go the legal route, otherwise just keep a record and carry on as normal.

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By *xposedInTheMaleMan
49 weeks ago

Cap d'Agde

Your public photos are in a section of your profile labelled "Public Photos", and there is another section labelled "Private Photos", so I don't think a court would say that you had a reasonable expectation that the photos labelled public would be kept private.

So I think you almost certainly have no case against anyone. The company however can take action against the people who did it, because they probably infringed various company rules, including simply sharing pornographic pictures, whoever was in them.

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By *he-ProfessorMan
49 weeks ago

cheltenham

Sadly I had something similar & now feel that I cannot have public photos at all, unfortunately due to some large & easily recognisable tattoos there really isn't an angle I couldn't be identified from. It almost cost me my career.

If your husband wasn't easily identifiable from the images then I think the company did the right thing and probably meant it as a "be more careful in future" type warning.

Sure it will seem harsh and definitely people should be more tolerant and understanding of other people's preferences but sadly I fear that with short form social media we are further away than ever before.

It is such a shame that people delight in causing others distress, I find them much worse than those who don't possess the capacity to consider the potential impact of such things before they do them

Hopefully you will be left in peace now to enjoy your private life as you see fit, hopefully.

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By *iss LovelyWoman
49 weeks ago

Here and There

Unless he’s engaging in sexual activity during work time, or promoting/linking where he works during his sexual activity then I can’t see it’s any of their business.

I was once shown in a video that had been illegally recorded at a party without anyone knowing and I was clearly identifiable in the video. My whole face was showing. Luckily I wasn’t engaging in sexual activity but it was happening around me.

I worked for a prominent bank at the time which had a pretty hefty code of conduct so was worried that this could affect my job. I took some advice from the union rep and he said that I’m entitled to a private social life. As long as it’s not in work time, nothing to identify the bank in my pics, as long as not earning money by doing it and not declaring it then I’m not doing anything wrong. The same must be count for this situation, surely

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By *orl1971Couple
49 weeks ago

Glasgow

So essentially from the posts above you can swing, it’s none of your employers of your employers business. What you cannot do is show sexual explicit images that you can be identified in.

What if you’re on a swinging site but have no genitalia showing in a swimsuit or lingerie? Like a dating site picture. Would that be difficult for an employer to discipline you for ?

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By *oupleSouthEast69Couple
49 weeks ago

brighton


"That is so bad for you both. Hope you get sorted soon.

Unfortunately we are generally seen as dirty staggers not an oppressed minority.

Good luck with it all. (Mr W)"

Swingers aren't an oppressed minority. We are just a minority.

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Still lots or narrow minded people in the world unfortunately and you are right if he had be outed as gay or trans the reaction would've been different.

To be fair , if it was my company I would have an issue if my employees, who are clearly identifiable, were on internet videos having group sex with others. Particularly if they were in customer focused roles. I think his company have acted appropriately by giving an informal warning. "

What about a company dragging a worker in for this only to find out that the poor worker in question has a twin who is a swinger? Then what ? This smacks of a test case.

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By *ewCoupleHXCouple
49 weeks ago

Halifax

People have been sacked for posting their opinions on social media or in a private Whatsapp group. Better to be safe than sorry and be cautious, there are a lot of losers who will take pleasure in "outing" someone.

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough

What does the law actually say on perceived reputational damage and should there be an onus on the so called offended employer party to provide evidence, if taken to court or a tribunal?

I do agree that schools etc are a very dangerous ground, even on the basis that bad news travels fast, but bullshit and damn right lies try even faster.

Deep fake AI images, video and spiteful revenge porn style acts will become more common.

There needs to be a grown up discussion on this!

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough


"People have been sacked for posting their opinions on social media or in a private Whatsapp group. Better to be safe than sorry and be cautious, there are a lot of losers who will take pleasure in "outing" someone."

Should "outing" be a crime, if it's not consented?

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By *ope_kisses22Couple
49 weeks ago

Hyde

Sadly I work in education..... and every September we're given 'the talk' about our behaviour outside of work reflecting on us in work.

The basic line is.... is you can see it on the front of The Sun... maybe it's not great!

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough


"Sadly I work in education..... and every September we're given 'the talk' about our behaviour outside of work reflecting on us in work.

The basic line is.... is you can see it on the front of The Sun... maybe it's not great!

"

Do these rules apply to the governors and the staff at the D of E too?

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By *elaminsavageMan
49 weeks ago

london

Sad to hear that you're going through this. Nobody deserves their private lives to be scrutinized. I'm pretty sure there are elements of everyone's life that could bring their respective employers into disrepute but it should really only be what you're doing while on company duty that should matter. Shame on those that tried to 'out' you, if that even is a valid thing? Hope you get it sorted.????

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By *hawn ScottMan
49 weeks ago

london Brixton

I was the victim of revenge porn many years ago before it was considered a crime. Pictures were sent to my work colleagues. I didn't take any action as I was embarrassed so waited until it blew over.

The girl also put my Pictures and details on a gay hookup site which took me over a month to get it removed

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
49 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Sadly I had something similar & now feel that I cannot have public photos at all, unfortunately due to some large & easily recognisable tattoos there really isn't an angle I couldn't be identified from. It almost cost me my career.

"

I have 20 odd tattoos. Pixelate them. Easy solution. Or just post clothed shots.

There's always a way to hide who you are in images.

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By *orl1971Couple
49 weeks ago

Glasgow

This brings up a lot of interesting questions about what you could be sacked for.

You’re a gay man and go on a gay pride march topless in a thong . Sackable ?

You’re a straight female teacher and you post a topless picture on holiday to social media. Sackable ?

You’re a married male head teacher. You have an affair with a married female MP. It hits the press. Sackable?

Minefield

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
49 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"This brings up a lot of interesting questions about what you could be sacked for.

You’re a gay man and go on a gay pride march topless in a thong . Sackable ?

You’re a straight female teacher and you post a topless picture on holiday to social media. Sackable ?

You’re a married male head teacher. You have an affair with a married female MP. It hits the press. Sackable?

Minefield "

I think you'd definitely get sacked for putting a minefield in your garden.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
49 weeks ago

Leicester

So long as the country, and the judiciary, is run by by racist, sexist, homophobic, violent, sexually frustrated men - nothing will change.

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By *enelope2UWoman
49 weeks ago

Fife

Never...

But good luck wishing... I've had my profile printed I've been fired from my job because I'd been seen with 3 guys kissing the 3 of them. I've had my address phone number shared and never have posted my face since being in the lifestyle now 15 yrs yet jealousy still lures people to "outing" you.

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By *he MuffinmanMan
49 weeks ago

West Gloucestershire


"After a recent work scare we've had to heavily redact our profile. My partner works in a sensitive professional job. Despite being open about our lifestyle with friends family and work, who have all been accepting. A minority have chosen to stalk social media platforms, and here to find our profiles.

The images have then been shared around the work place. My partner never shows his face publicly or has any work related photos connected to swinging.

The management have done the right thing, and disciplined the individuals involved. But he's had an informal warning that he can't be actively seen to be engaging in any sexual acts on the Internet as it could bring the company into disrepute.

What's annoying in this, is had he been outed as gay by being found on a dating app, or decided to identify as a female and share images of him dressed in womens clothes. We doubt the management would have given the same warning. I.e hide who you are, we get the sexual images aspect but it does beg the question. In what year will it be acceptable to say "hi I'm a swinger" or "hey we're consensualy non monogamous" and it be accepted by the public without judgement? "

I’ve often thought this exact same thing with the workplace.

If I was gay and decided to pick a different guy up every night at a club out dating site then nothing would be said. However, I don’t think the same can be said for swinging

One of the final taboos (that’s legal) in society….. me thinks

X

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough

Wait until "A" ends up shagging "B" from HR and the awkwardness that follows, when they meet up for the first time at work.

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By *heMaestroMan
49 weeks ago

Solihull

Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998 gives people the right to a private life.

Peoples sex life outside of the workplace is private and no business of the company. The company hasn't a leg to stand on if they discriminate or bring this into play anywhere.

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough

Article 8: Right to a private and family life

This is a qualified right, which includes:

* respect for your sexuality

* the right to make choices for yourself, and the right to have your body and mind respected

* respect for private and confidential information, particularly the storing and sharing of this information (in the UK this is largely covered by the Data Protection Act 2018

* the right not to be followed or recorded by the government, when the government has no legal right to do so

* the right to have confidential and unlimited communication with others

* the right to control how information about your private life is shared, including photographs that have been taken secretly

* being able to see friends and family

* respect for your home.

It can be limited if it is part of the law, 'necessary in a democratic society' and for one of the following 'legitimate aims':

* in the interests of national security

* in the interest of public safety

* for the economic wellbeing of the country

* for the prevention of disorder or crime

* for the protection of health or morals

* for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

Wonder how many employers will chase after the "morals" line, as their excuse?

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By *ellinever70Woman
49 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998 gives people the right to a private life.

Peoples sex life outside of the workplace is private and no business of the company. The company hasn't a leg to stand on if they discriminate or bring this into play anywhere."

But if you're posting pictures relating to your sex life on the internet, that's not private

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By *heMaestroMan
49 weeks ago

Solihull


"Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998 gives people the right to a private life.

Peoples sex life outside of the workplace is private and no business of the company. The company hasn't a leg to stand on if they discriminate or bring this into play anywhere.

But if you're posting pictures relating to your sex life on the internet, that's not private "

It means private as in, private life away from your workplace.

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By *ellinever70Woman
49 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998 gives people the right to a private life.

Peoples sex life outside of the workplace is private and no business of the company. The company hasn't a leg to stand on if they discriminate or bring this into play anywhere.

But if you're posting pictures relating to your sex life on the internet, that's not private

It means private as in, private life away from your workplace."

Given it's a qualified right, and in case of the op, something they themselves have put in the public domain, it's no longer private

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By *heekyDemandCouple
49 weeks ago

Leicester


"Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998 gives people the right to a private life.

Peoples sex life outside of the workplace is private and no business of the company. The company hasn't a leg to stand on if they discriminate or bring this into play anywhere.

But if you're posting pictures relating to your sex life on the internet, that's not private

It means private as in, private life away from your workplace.

Given it's a qualified right, and in case of the op, something they themselves have put in the public domain, it's no longer private "

That is a good point, if you are non-identifiable by your Fab pictures, blurred faces and tattoos etc, if you were sacked for bringing the company into disrepute then the tribunal would hit them like a ton of bricks.

Saying that, even with your face showing there's a good case to say anyone looking was also on a swingers site and the hypocrisy would work in your favour.

Personally, we don't worry, despite our jobs.

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By *adCherriesCouple
49 weeks ago

Cheshire/Northwest


"I wonder if this could potentially fall under discrimination act based on your sexuality as like you said if it was straight cut like being gay and you were outed then that would be classed as discrimination and potentially damaging to company if it ever went further…, wonder if the solicitor could check the law on it n maybe include in the letter

It’s such a shame that even in this day and age this lifestyle is frowned upon yet other aspects of sexuality/gender widely accepted

Really sorry your going through this but hope it blows over soon x Jules x

This is something we're actively doing just to cover his back "

Eek what a nightmare for you both. Its really difficult because I suppose a lot depends on what type of work he does. I hope you update though with the outcome of your legal advise. The people who decided to share pictures etc in his work place are the lowest of the low and are obviously bored in their sad vanilla little lives.

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By *oxy jWoman
49 weeks ago

taunton somerset

sharing adult pics without consent is revenge porn there are laws to protect that ...just not 100% sure if its classed as that because they are posted on site ... i would guess if they copies them to cause distress then maybe they will come under this law ... just as if some one takes your pics / videos and put them on a porn site you can get them removed under the revenge porn law

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough


"sharing adult pics without consent is revenge porn there are laws to protect that ...just not 100% sure if its classed as that because they are posted on site ... i would guess if they copies them to cause distress then maybe they will come under this law ... just as if some one takes your pics / videos and put them on a porn site you can get them removed under the revenge porn law"

Intent and malice are key words.

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By *ittle. BeaverWoman
49 weeks ago

Launceston


"As I read it and I may be wrong, the issue is having sexually explicit pictures on the internet and not that he was a swinger. This would apply whether you were gay or trans. Sexual explicitness is usually not seen as family friendly or work values.

It is terrible that idiots out people."

That's how I read it too.

And sadly if you put your face out there you are leaving yourself vulnerable and open to abuse! Not just swingers, but all those on the 'other paid' fans websites!

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By *nuggle_fuckers OP   Couple
49 weeks ago

Cardiff

So much feed back its good to see a community discuss it. So just to clarify he was never actually identified in any photos or videos, and has never posted his face publicly here or on any social media related to swinging.

However, it's known I'm his partner and the 5 involved have assumed images of the males in photos are him, but ultimately can't prove that it's 100% him, not like he's walking around top less at work.

We've heavily redacted our profile to only display me, which sucks as we love being open about what we do. Its not like we'll tell anyone that will listen, but in the sense of not having that double life.

We honestly just wish it was more publicly acceptable to be open about it.

The solicitors have actually been great and confirmed if they can't ID him from anything work related IE he's not posing infront of the company logo with his cock out, or being inappropriate in a work place, there is nothing an employer can actually do. Even if they are 99% sure, and it can come under discrimination if he's honest about his relationship with an employer and they choose to punish him for that.

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By *orny PTMan
49 weeks ago

Peterborough

Does this whole offence of malicious name and shaming, get covered by revenge porn laws and is it different in Scotland?

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
48 weeks ago

Leicestershire

Interesting post. You pose a tricky and thoughtful question.

I agree with you and feel the discrimination. We’ve been very careful over the years and, although a few people have found us on fab, we’ve had no adverse consequences.

My feeling is that it took decades / centuries for gay people to get the status they now have. Swingers haven’t got close to the same acceptance level. Although it’s getting more popular it’s going to take a lot longer to challenge an institution so well founded ie monogamy.

I hope I’m wrong though.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
48 weeks ago

Behind the bike shed!

We had a similar conversation the other day.

Someone in an arts club we’re in was caught cheating with another, younger but not too young, member. (He’s 35 she’s 18, the wife is 33) he’s now forgiven and not socially shunned. Yet we’re the odd ones for having consensual sex with others in an ENM context!

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By *nuggle_fuckers OP   Couple
48 weeks ago

Cardiff

I think the biggest difference is being gay, bi, trans or NB are considered as a sexual orientation. Swinging, Poly or as an umbrella term Consenual Non-Monogamy is still considered as a recreational activity. Which to be fair it is. But neither of us would choose to be Monogamous, down side is as its not a sexual orientation its not a protected characteristic, more of a relationship preference.

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By *nuggle_fuckers OP   Couple
48 weeks ago

Cardiff

We've seen this a lot! Its so common in monogamous relationships to cheat, but how dare you both consent to sleeping with others and still be happily together

We've challenged the thought process of those that have admitted they'd cheat. What if your partner let you sleep with others and wanted to themselves?

And to those that aren't cheating we ask do you ever look at someone else and think they're hot?

What it usually boils down to is the shame of cheating, them thinking its "weird" or in most cases a lack of honesty and communication, which is something we're happy to have in our relationship.

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By *quirtyndirty!Couple
48 weeks ago

Nottingham

Isn't some of the fun of swinging is that is considered taboo and naughty by large sways of society? It is becoming a little more known about and accepted by some but we like the fact we are, on the face of it, upstanding members of the local community but in secret filthy swinging deviants

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By *ortyairCouple
48 weeks ago

Wallasey

Is there a disrepute clause in his contract because if there is he will need to comply with it and his firm are within their right to take action.

Mrs x

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
48 weeks ago

Worcester


"Isn't some of the fun of swinging is that is considered taboo and naughty by large sways of society? It is becoming a little more known about and accepted by some but we like the fact we are, on the face of it, upstanding members of the local community but in secret filthy swinging deviants "

Personally I dislike the fact that many people think swinging is somehow immoral or disgusting.

I’d like to get to a point where society doesn’t judge people (especially women) for having multiple partners and/or casual sex.

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By *ymAndIcedCoffeeWoman
48 weeks ago

Worcester


"I think the biggest difference is being gay, bi, trans or NB are considered as a sexual orientation. Swinging, Poly or as an umbrella term Consenual Non-Monogamy is still considered as a recreational activity. Which to be fair it is. But neither of us would choose to be Monogamous, down side is as its not a sexual orientation its not a protected characteristic, more of a relationship preference. "

To be fair, I’ve never had a problem with anyone about being non-mono. I’ve been out with every employer, colleague, and client for the past fifteen years or more.

However I suspect they would feel very differently if I was posting openly about my bedroom antics online. That wouldn’t fit the businesses I work for or the industry I work in.

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By *enelope2UWoman
48 weeks ago

Fife


"Article 8: Right to a private and family life

This is a qualified right, which includes:

* respect for your sexuality

* the right to make choices for yourself, and the right to have your body and mind respected

* respect for private and confidential information, particularly the storing and sharing of this information (in the UK this is largely covered by the Data Protection Act 2018

* the right not to be followed or recorded by the government, when the government has no legal right to do so

* the right to have confidential and unlimited communication with others

* the right to control how information about your private life is shared, including photographs that have been taken secretly

* being able to see friends and family

* respect for your home.

It can be limited if it is part of the law, 'necessary in a democratic society' and for one of the following 'legitimate aims':

* in the interests of national security

* in the interest of public safety

* for the economic wellbeing of the country

* for the prevention of disorder or crime

* for the protection of health or morals

* for the protection of the rights and freedoms of others.

Wonder how many employers will chase after the "morals" line, as their excuse?"

That's the only bit they chase .company code if conduct and morals is agreed when you join . That's their leg to stand on.. it's the most important and relevant grounds..

Sadly people don't read contracts and this is why discretion is needed if you don't fit traditional ideas

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By *enelope2UWoman
48 weeks ago

Fife


"Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998 gives people the right to a private life.

Peoples sex life outside of the workplace is private and no business of the company. The company hasn't a leg to stand on if they discriminate or bring this into play anywhere.

But if you're posting pictures relating to your sex life on the internet, that's not private

It means private as in, private life away from your workplace.

Given it's a qualified right, and in case of the op, something they themselves have put in the public domain, it's no longer private

That is a good point, if you are non-identifiable by your Fab pictures, blurred faces and tattoos etc, if you were sacked for bringing the company into disrepute then the tribunal would hit them like a ton of bricks.

Saying that, even with your face showing there's a good case to say anyone looking was also on a swingers site and the hypocrisy would work in your favour.

Personally, we don't worry, despite our jobs. "

Lucky for you

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By *oxesMan
48 weeks ago

Southend, Essex


"After a recent work scare we've had to heavily redact our profile. My partner works in a sensitive professional job. Despite being open about our lifestyle with friends family and work, who have all been accepting. A minority have chosen to stalk social media platforms, and here to find our profiles.

The images have then been shared around the work place. My partner never shows his face publicly or has any work related photos connected to swinging.

The management have done the right thing, and disciplined the individuals involved. But he's had an informal warning that he can't be actively seen to be engaging in any sexual acts on the Internet as it could bring the company into disrepute.

What's annoying in this, is had he been outed as gay by being found on a dating app, or decided to identify as a female and share images of him dressed in womens clothes. We doubt the management would of given the same warning. I.e hide who you are, we get the sexual images aspect but it does beg the question. In what year will it be acceptable to say "hi I'm a swinger" or "hey we're consensualy non monogamous" and it be accepted by the public without judgement? "

That's the society we live in. Your ment to be open and free about sex but woe betide engaging in safe sexual activities.

There are so many misconceptions about swinging outside of the traditional concepts I find it embarrassing.

I was in Germany last December and I was shocked to find that even normal vannila nightclubs can have play and darkrooms in case you meet someone and want to have safe space with panick alarms and bouncers near by in case something happens.

On the official Visit Berlin Website it has a page advertising 'Adult' tourism

Meanwhile in UK we force swinger clubs to the outskirts of industrial areas while placing heavy restrictions on them .

I do wonder weather sacking someone bard on then being a swinger breaks discrimination?

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