FabSwingers.com forum: Newbie Single Male

By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Hey all

New on Fab and to the lifestyle, apologies first of all, I imagine this topic is spoken to death but wondering how a Single Male should approach going to a Club.

I'm quite local to several clubs and it's something I've thought about to network/get to know people and the vibe, whilst getting some verifications to show I'm a real person but I'm not sure how to approach it as a single Male. I'd be firstly attending for the social aspect and see where it goes.

I would consider myself a little shy but with a drink or two I tend to be myself more, just wanted to know the best way to approach the Club scene.

Part of me doesn't want to come across as that guy thats pestering couples or single females on his own in the club. Do most people tend to be quite open and chatty?

Any advice is welcome and once again apologies if I'm repeating the topic for the nth time.

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By *rpeggioCouple
49 weeks ago

Baughurst

You probably are repeating a topic but that should not stop anyone asking in the Support and Advice forum.

You seem to be having the right approach to a club. Go, socialise, get verifications, not be a pest and make the most of any opportunities. 100% nailed it.

As the male in our couple, my advice is don't be shy to talk to couples. If you were to talk to us politely we would be very friendly. But you'd have no chance with us because we are not into singles. So at some point Tamar the question to couples about what they are looking for, what is their favourite play or dynamic, etc etc. If they say they are into other couples, like us, take the hint that you won't have a chance. If they say threesomes or they like group play then keep asking until you understand if they agree looking for additional men or not.

Hope those helps.

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By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Thank you Arpeggio. That does help, it is obviously a case of finding the right people and taking the hints.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
49 weeks ago

London

Have a look at the London Surrey social in the London forum. That's a good place to start.

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By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

I shall, thanks. Shame I can’t attend the next social due to work but look forwards to the next date.

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By *ottodot123Couple
49 weeks ago

Gillingham

Crikey. You're younger than your pics, profile text and the you write come across.

OP you sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders and are going to approach clubs in the right way already without ever having stepped in one.

You can have conversations with people without appearing as a cling on I am sure. Be friendly and open. Many people you meet will be the same. Undoubtedly some will not. But just move on.

Hi I'm X and this is my first time in a club. I'm looking forward to socialising with like-minded peeps could be a semi decent opener.

All the best

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By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Thanks _ottodot123

, appreciate that. I’ve often been told I’m a bit of an old soul but I just like to be articulate and come across the right way.

Thanks also for the help, looks like it’s not as daunting as I’m making it seem in my head haha.

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By *iss DevilWoman
49 weeks ago

Bedford

Let's look at it from a very practical point of view. First of all, decide which club/clubs you are interested in. Next, check club/clubs websites for requirements for single men and when single men can attend. If, let's say, you could only attend Friday evenings at that club and you work most Fridays, this club would not be much good for you.

Then, once you know there are events you could definitely attend, check membership and entry prices and decide whether you are happy to pay those. Some clubs charge single men a lot more than women or couples for the simple reason there are many more men wanting to attend.

Finally, once your membership is approved (in some clubs that can be done on your first visit), choose when you want to go and do go.

Enjoy.

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By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Thanks. I have noticed that prices tend to be higher for single men, but as you say more single men so it only makes sense to up it. Price isn’t really an issue as long as the vibe is right.

I’ll be having a gander at which clubs/nights suit, and hopefully get out there soon.

Many thanks all for the replies.

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By *ottodot123Couple
49 weeks ago

Gillingham

"Thanks _ottodot123

, appreciate that. I’ve often been told I’m a bit of an old soul but I just like to be articulate and come across the right way.

Thanks also for the help, looks like it’s not as daunting as I’m making it seem in my head haha. "

Oh it's a daunting prospect for sure. Our first visit to a club we sat in the car outside for 20 minutes too terrified to go in. But like many things in life. It was much easier once we dived in.

I genuinely feel like you will get along just fine with the attitude you have and there is nothing wrong with being an old soul.

Poster above had put some great tips of finding where to make your first visit.

You'll find in many clubs there is areas that are definite play areas and more social areas. E.g. smoking area.

Move yourself between the social areas and be friendly. If you are in an open play area. Be courteous. Don't get too close.

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By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Noted, I’ll be sure to have some proper research done.

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
49 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Spend your time at the bar, being personable, chatty and engaging. Don't talk about swinging, unless the other party brings it up. Hot tubs can be quite sociable too. If you wander round to see what's going on / see the facilities, do it separately to the herd of other single guys. Good luck.

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By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Thank you for the tips. I tend to be most sociable over a drink or two, to be honest (aren’t we all

) so would probably start with that.

Unless it were a regular showing me round, I’d probably be going on my own to look to get a feel. Can’t imagine a group of singles roaming around is much fun for others haha.

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By *inksAPlentyCouple
49 weeks ago

Bedfordshire

As a newbie most clubs will offer you a tour and let you know if there are any areas where single guys aren't allowed. They'll usually cover club etiquette too. Some will introduce you to regulars so you have somebody to chat to.

Good luck.

Ms x

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By *ig14 OP Man
49 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Thank you KinksAPlenty.. Just gotta get over the initial fear now

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By *heshireman69Man
47 weeks ago

Chester

Similar position to you, single guy looking to get into this new and intriguing world, I literally took the plunge a couple of weeks back and just went along to my local club. I went with zero expectations as I'm also quite shy and in all honesty I'm the last person that would ever be chatting up women / couples etc. I spent the evening chatting to the owners at the bar and a few regulars in the smoking area, it was a very enjoyable night even just from a social aspect.

What's the worst that can happen was my thoughts before walking in on that first night, go for it and just enjoy a few drinks and chat, you'll soon feel like you're just in a regular bar

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Newbie Single Male - Club Advice