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"I'm not really good at describing myself, could I message you privately, would you be able to help me with it please?" __ I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you. | |||
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"How do I know there successful?" Look at their verifications and the people they've met. We can't write your profile for you op, you know yourself and we don't, just be honest about what you're after. Check out some of the men who post on the forums, many of them do OK. | |||
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"How do I know there successful?" Hiya op It would help if you use the reply and quote per comment so others know that you are responding to them Think of this site similar to how you would start chatting with anyone in the real world the bonus part is the bio giving you something to read and understand them a little like a background. Personality why they are here and what they are looking for Why are you here | |||
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"I don't really know what I want, I thought this site was about sex and that I'm just not that good at flirting" Omg another one … You shouldn’t expect sex just because it’s a sex site  | |||
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"I don't really know what I want, I thought this site was about sex and that I'm just not that good at flirting" Op means original poster. It's a swinging site, some use it as a sex site though. Just speak to people politely and as I say read their profiles and onlu message if you fit what they are after. Maybe have a think about what you actually do want to find on here and then you can update your profile with it. | |||
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"I joined a sex site for sex Why shouldn't I get what I want? I don't get it ??" It’s not called FabSex OP, it’s called fabswingers. There’s your clue. | |||
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"I joined a sex site for sex Why shouldn't I get what I want? I don't get it ??" __ Your reasons for joining Fab means zero/nothing/nada to anyone here and no one cares about whatever you may want. What matters to people here is what they personally want for themselves. There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. If you want to have sex with one of them, you may start thinking if it is you, in particular, what they want, rather than what you want (very clear in your profile). Yes, there are here couples and women desperate to have sex, but they can choose among thousands, so they won't have sex with anyone except with the ones they fancy and find charming and attractive. Do you think your profile as of now will make you to be one of them? Does this help you to understand the site? | |||
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"I don't want to get with a swinger" TBH there seems very little point in joining the site then. | |||
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"Like I said earlier, I don't really know what I want, I just haven't been having much look with dating apps if I find the one, I'll delete there apps" Earlier you said you didn’t want a relationship as you just got out of a 9 year one but then saying your not successful on dating app... you do realise dating apps are used for looking for relationships NOT sex ... seems to me by your posts and your profile you are not respectful of wemon and treat them like a piece of meat who are here just for your pleasure and maybe that is the reason your getting no where If I receive a msg I look at profile first yours I would block straight away after reading your looking for dirty nasty sex,makes you sound like a mad man  | |||
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The more brutal the better. | |||
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"Yeah that makes more sense thank you, I was just asking people how I could make my profile a bit better or just some conversation tips" How’s about getting some of what I would say are the basics and stating when you can meet a potential suitor…during the day..??..weekends only..??..only certain days of the week..?? Just put your thinking cap on and delve into your memory bank and perhaps think when you first started dating and what you were happy with and what you were looking for and when..not just sex It may help you a little Good luck OP, sounds like you may well need heaps of it | |||
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" There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. " Really ? | |||
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" There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. Really ? " Yes, absolutely | |||
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" There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. Really ? " __ LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any. And if you meant that here everyone is looking for sex so the statement was obvious and pointless, just consider that many profiles don't want to meet at all and they say so clearly in their profile. | |||
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" There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. Really ? __ LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any. ." I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified . | |||
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" There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. Really ? __ LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any. . I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified . " We struggle because we won't just fuck anyone who asks. We struggle because, even if you find someone compatible, the logistics and practicalities don't always match up. | |||
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"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full" I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations. | |||
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" There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. Really ? __ LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any. . I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified . We struggle because we won't just fuck anyone who asks. We struggle because, even if you find someone compatible, the logistics and practicalities don't always match up." __ I would not be able to summarise it better than you did. | |||
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"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations." __ My first reply to this thread was "I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you." People are not asking for advice to portray accurately who they are and what they want (OP previous profile did that very well). They want advice on how to beat the system to get a/any/more replies and meets. | |||
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"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations. __ My first reply to this thread was "I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you." People are not asking for advice to portray accurately who they are and what they want (OP previous profile did that very well). They want advice on how to beat the system to get a/any/more replies and meets." Exactly this. Initially he wanted a nasty filthy fuck. Now he's looking to date | |||
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"No I didn't mean to annoy people as much as I have I'm sorry I've edited my profile hope it's a bit better and respect full I'd much rather you'd left it as it was. You've now successfully masked the true profile. Congratulations. __ My first reply to this thread was "I think what you said here above and the only sentence currently in your profile pretty much summarises very well what you are looking for and what people can expect of you." People are not asking for advice to portray accurately who they are and what they want (OP previous profile did that very well). They want advice on how to beat the system to get a/any/more replies and meets. Exactly this. Initially he wanted a nasty filthy fuck. Now he's looking to date "I could absolutely write that in a way that would sound appealling on his profile. I won't, but I could. | |||
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"Start the conversation by being yourself, actually no try and make an impression. Be confident but not too cocky like. I am shawn Scott! The Stylin', profilin', limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' n' dealin' son of a gun! You can love me or you can hate me but you better get used to me because I am the man of the hour, the man with the power and I'm too fukin sweet to be sour! Maybe with a bit more confidence ?? " Woooooooo | |||
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"I joined a sex site for sex Why shouldn't I get what I want? I don't get it ??" There is nothing wrong with joining a site that is basically people looking for sex and hoping for the same. Being honest is the best thing and you are being honest. Now to your question, some people take a while before they get what they are looking for, you just have to manage your expectations. Do you think you would enjoy big socials? There are lots going on that you could meet people in. There are also club nights for newbies if you are into Clubs where you can meet people. In the meantime while waiting for some contact on here, why not stick around on the forum and join in , it may get you noticed. Good luck  | |||
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"No I just mean I don't really know what to say I was just asking for advice and I feel like a lot of people have just jumped on me" I agree, so why I have removed posts. Can people remember, this is a thread asking for advice, there is no need to be rude if you give it. | |||
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"If you're looking for sex, OP, you should say so. You'll put people off who are not looking to date by lying about it, and end up (at best) attracting what you don't want. Many of us are here for casual sex - and if I got an interesting message from a man who said he was looking to date, I'd run a mile. " Yep agreed. There is nothing wrong with saying you are looking for sex and vast majority here aren't looking to date. Some people a bit too shy about saying it sometimes - actually find this in real life too at events where lots want sex but don't want to say explicitly, then there is a panicked frenzy in the last hour Guess it all boils down to how you say it - here and in real life. There is a polite, respectful, flirtatious way to ask to fuck with somebody and a very rude off-putting way. | |||
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"Ah okay that makes sense Yeah I don't really know what I want I just wanted to spice my life up abit I came out of a 9 year relationship I don't think I want to settle down for a bit yet I don't want to get with a swinger" I can relate to that - I use this site for sex, I go to clubs and I have had threesomes. But I don’t consider myself a swinger - if I met the right person I’d be in a monogamous relationship, not swinging. I do feel some people have been a bit harsh to you in their responses. For me a first message that grabs my attention needs to say more than just ‘hi’ - show you have read my profile and tell me what you want. Take notice of the profile, for example if they say no dick pics don’t send any. Conversation needs to keep flowing so no one word replies. | |||
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"Yeah better looking profile now, a fan of the witcher? Yeah me too, I'm not into men but if Henry cavill took me out, wined and dined me in an Aberdeen Angus steak house I would be tempted!" Haha totally agree with you especially if Henry wore he's witcher outfit. I'd definitely pay for the meal. Big fan aswell, but prefer the game n books | |||
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"Haha yeah witchers sick! I want to grow my hair out like his but I'm too far recied ??" If you use the "reply and quote" posters know who you're replying to. In answer to your OP. There's nothing that will guarantee that you get any replies to your messages or that they will lead to you having sex. A decent honest profile, attending socials and clubs, will increase your chances. But remember that this is a swinging site, so anyone you do have sex with is likely to be a swinger. If that's not for you, this might not be the right site for you. Nita | |||
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"Look at the profiles of successful men here. Take pointers from their profile " But don't copy their bios and post it as your own. That really isn't on | |||
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" There's thousands of women and couples here who want sex. Really ? __ LOL. Yes. Really. The fact that many don't get any does not mean they don't want any. . I'm just shocked that's all. I can understand why the majority of single blokes ,like myself will never ,ever get a meet ,but im surprised that couples abs single women struggle .why would they ? There are a small percentage of single blokes on here who have meet verifications, so I would have thought they wouldn't have any problems finding a bloke from the guys who are verified . " -------------- We don't pre-arrange meets, we just find guys at clubs and we're always happy to verify them afterwards. That's the way for guys to get their verifications and help them to get meets with others on Fab. I also see guys getting verifications from organised socials too. | |||
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"if you cant be you op then im afraid you will get nowhere on this scene sorry its blunt but its very true its a social and sexual scene both are needed and needed from you not people doing it for you..." Have to disagree. Yes there is a swinging scene with the social element being needed - clubs, parties, socials etc. But there is also a more direct sex scene with no social element at all. I’ve had a foot in both camps over the years and enjoyed both sides at different points in my life. There are lots and lots of people just meeting for sex with minimal chat, no social meet first and sometimes just “meet today”. Almost every day I see ladies or couples looking for somebody that day and personally I’ve met a local lady 2 hours after my first message on here. She was horny and wanted fun. It does happen. Saying that there is a right way to go about it with politeness and respect just as with the more extended social scene side of swinging. | |||
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"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it. The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience. I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club. I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab. " I think there are a lot of people like you around male and female. That was broadly speaking me until a few years ago and then branched out into wider swinging world. You are right on Forum being a smaller sliver of Fab and it is not always representative of the wider Fab world. | |||
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"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it. The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience. I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club. I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab. " Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. | |||
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"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it. The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience. I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club. I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab. Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. " All of my initial verifications came from interactions with people in the forum. I joined in with silly forum games and flirted shamelessly with the people I was interested in. The forum is a great way to have a visibly positive presence for people who aren't inclined to socialise in groups. | |||
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"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it. The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience. I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club. I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab. Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. All of my initial verifications came from interactions with people in the forum. I joined in with silly forum games and flirted shamelessly with the people I was interested in. The forum is a great way to have a visibly positive presence for people who aren't inclined to socialise in groups. " It is also a great way to have a visibly negative presence too | |||
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"if you cant be you op then im afraid you will get nowhere on this scene sorry its blunt but its very true its a social and sexual scene both are needed and needed from you not people doing it for you... Have to disagree. Yes there is a swinging scene with the social element being needed - clubs, parties, socials etc. But there is also a more direct sex scene with no social element at all. I’ve had a foot in both camps over the years and enjoyed both sides at different points in my life. There are lots and lots of people just meeting for sex with minimal chat, no social meet first and sometimes just “meet today”. Almost every day I see ladies or couples looking for somebody that day and personally I’ve met a local lady 2 hours after my first message on here. She was horny and wanted fun. It does happen. Saying that there is a right way to go about it with politeness and respect just as with the more extended social scene side of swinging. " i agree i arrange meets on the day but if i meet a guy even just for sex and he has no social skill as in talking having a laught then he will get no where the scene of meeting without socials is a very small part for most ... we are all different but we are talking anout a guy who wants help and im my opinion those that cant figure it out themsdelves will fail on this scene | |||
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"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic? I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some. " Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do | |||
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"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it. The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience. I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club. I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab. Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. " __ At home we call that 'selective hearing', Dave. In all threads about this topic, people are not saying it's the ONLY way. They are saying it's the EASIER way to meet people, without the need to be verified, write catchy messages, being attractive, or having an outstanding profile. We are not looking to meet singles, but if we were at a social and an unattractive man talks to us politely and we exchange a few words, even if he turns out to be as dull as fish water, we would not care whether he is in Fab or not, and would not mind to verify him if he asks politely. Is it the ONLY way? No. It's it EASIER for single men profiles to meet people, compared to meet only through Fab exchanges? Definitely YES. | |||
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"Take heart OP. It is possible to find what you are looking for on fab and you don't have to be a swinger or meet with swingers to do it. The forum here is a very small percentage of the user base and the are a lot of frustrated users who give guys that ask for advice very short shrift because the same questions get asked a lot and people lose patience. I had ten veri's before I went to my first social event. I've never been to a club. I'm not a swinger and I'm mostly interested in single women who wouldn't consider themselves swingers either. I enjoy dating and I have gone on dates with women I've met through fab. Can i ask how you got your rem veri's before you went to a social? We're they through the good old fashioned way of messaging privately on here. I'm just curious, as a lot of people say the same thing time and time again, that clubs and organised socials are they only way to meet on here. __ At home we call that 'selective hearing', Dave. In all threads about this topic, people are not saying it's the ONLY way. They are saying it's the EASIER way to meet people, without the need to be verified, write catchy messages, being attractive, or having an outstanding profile. We are not looking to meet singles, but if we were at a social and an unattractive man talks to us politely and we exchange a few words, even if he turns out to be as dull as fish water, we would not care whether he is in Fab or not, and would not mind to verify him if he asks politely. Is it the ONLY way? No. It's it EASIER for single men profiles to meet people, compared to meet only through Fab exchanges? Definitely YES." Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it. Hopefully my luck will change eventually if I keep checking the adverts for one on one socials locally in my area . | |||
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"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic? I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some. Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do " I also have autism. This world is incredibly hard for us - and unfortunately, the world isn't going to budge. I've been to big group socials, I managed, and afterwards they wiped me out. Ditto huge club nights. (One on one is easier, but still comes with its own challenges) I wanted it badly enough to make it happen. | |||
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"if you cant be you op then im afraid you will get nowhere on this scene sorry its blunt but its very true its a social and sexual scene both are needed and needed from you not people doing it for you... Have to disagree. Yes there is a swinging scene with the social element being needed - clubs, parties, socials etc. But there is also a more direct sex scene with no social element at all. I’ve had a foot in both camps over the years and enjoyed both sides at different points in my life. There are lots and lots of people just meeting for sex with minimal chat, no social meet first and sometimes just “meet today”. Almost every day I see ladies or couples looking for somebody that day and personally I’ve met a local lady 2 hours after my first message on here. She was horny and wanted fun. It does happen. Saying that there is a right way to go about it with politeness and respect just as with the more extended social scene side of swinging. i agree i arrange meets on the day but if i meet a guy even just for sex and he has no social skill as in talking having a laught then he will get no where the scene of meeting without socials is a very small part for most ... we are all different but we are talking anout a guy who wants help and im my opinion those that cant figure it out themsdelves will fail on this scene" I do agree with that last part especially. You can lead a blind horse to water but it still probably won't get a drink. PS I still think for a huge number it's not a scene. Fab is just another way to get a hook-up much like many other non-swinging sites. | |||
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"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic? I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some. Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do I also have autism. This world is incredibly hard for us - and unfortunately, the world isn't going to budge. I've been to big group socials, I managed, and afterwards they wiped me out. Ditto huge club nights. (One on one is easier, but still comes with its own challenges) I wanted it badly enough to make it happen." Glad you found a way to make it work. I am not naturally comfortable in big social groups like parties or clubs. I force myself and get away with it but much prefer one on one, smaller groups, environments that are a big less social and bit more play. I think the people who are natural social creatures find this very hard to get their heads around. So I have sympathy for those that want to "swing" in the broad sexual experience sense but really struggle with the group social/club side. | |||
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"Very true and it’s great when that happens however what does one do if they have generalised social anxiety or are autistic? I feel people overlook there are some people who genuinely struggle with this regardless of the situation. For example walking up to the bar to order a drink can induce a panic attack for some. Yes I can confirm I have autism and high functioning to and this world is incredibly hard what are we supposed to do I also have autism. This world is incredibly hard for us - and unfortunately, the world isn't going to budge. I've been to big group socials, I managed, and afterwards they wiped me out. Ditto huge club nights. (One on one is easier, but still comes with its own challenges) I wanted it badly enough to make it happen. Glad you found a way to make it work. I am not naturally comfortable in big social groups like parties or clubs. I force myself and get away with it but much prefer one on one, smaller groups, environments that are a big less social and bit more play. I think the people who are natural social creatures find this very hard to get their heads around. So I have sympathy for those that want to "swing" in the broad sexual experience sense but really struggle with the group social/club side. " I'm not comfortable with it either but - as I say, I wanted it badly enough. | |||
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"Does any on fancy giving me lessons more help the better haha " Best bet for any topic on the forums is to use the search function first of all - there's a huge amount of advice and pointers written by the lovely forumites! If that's not enough, have a look at starting your own thread on the forum - that way things don't get confusing and it's also considered good manners - Xeno | |||
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"Hi op People are different, the best thing I can advise is to read their profile and start a conversation about something in it, that has interested you. That way you're showing you've read their profile and are genuinely liking it. " Ha ha i did exactly that yesterday and it was deleted within minutes she didnt even view | |||
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"Hi op People are different, the best thing I can advise is to read their profile and start a conversation about something in it, that has interested you. That way you're showing you've read their profile and are genuinely liking it. Ha ha i did exactly that yesterday and it was deleted within minutes she didnt even view" Oh those fickle females! | |||
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"Hi op People are different, the best thing I can advise is to read their profile and start a conversation about something in it, that has interested you. That way you're showing you've read their profile and are genuinely liking it. Ha ha i did exactly that yesterday and it was deleted within minutes she didnt even view" She might have viewed in ninja mode and decided you weren’t for her. In any case, it’s not a guarantee of anything the entitlement is baffling. | |||
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"I don't really know what I want, I thought this site was about sex and that I'm just not that good at flirting" ALWAYS REMEMBER CONFEDENT IS SEXY . IF ON A DATE DO NOT LOOK AT ANOTHER Woman gave ,100% It will come good luck mate | |||
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