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Partner gone off sex

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales

I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here?

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

That's rough - especially the unilateral "shouldn't be doing it at our age" bit. That's asking for trouble, I'd say. I have a similar situation but carte blanche to deal with it as I see fit.

I've no doubt that Fabs will be offering its collective "wisdom".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? "

Why don't you ask her?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age."

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out.

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By *illycd2TV/TS
over a year ago

Bishop's Stortford

I had the same problem as you, my wife's sex drive went to zero. I was bi from a young teenager she knew as I told here years back. When she said she did not want sex anymore I told her I did and would find sex else where, with that she said that I could have sex with other men but no women. So for the last 7 years it's been men only and I'm very happy as I have her full backing, I'm one of the lucky ones I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difficult situation chap, I feel for you.

I think the best advice I can probably offer is don’t seek too much advice. Other people’s options are just that, after all…..some may have similar situations, but they aren’t YOU.

Some will say look after yourself and leave. Others will say you’re an asshole if you end a relationship based solely on sex (or lack thereof), and another camp will doggedly stick to the need to talk to and understand your partner as ‘must be some way to sort it out’.

So you’ll never get an overwhelming consensus to act from.

However, in will add that there’s some truth in ‘Easy choices make life hard, hard choices make life easy’…..I’m afraid it’s on you to assess if this is one of those times.

Best of luck

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By *orneymeMan
over a year ago

newcastle and borders

I would be saying that your a man and

Have a sexual drive if she no longer wants to have sex then what am I supposed to do ?

You

Can still

Love without sex but sex in a relationship I’m

My eyes is one of the most intimate things in a relationship and having that time is needed

Of

She has given up is there a reason ?

No spark

Maybe feels like she’s bored

Maybe an affair

But say to

Her I want sex I like sex I love you I don’t want sex with strangers

If you don’t any sex can I find

Someone to for fill my

Needs

It sounds horrid but she’s taken away you sexual prowess

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

That sounds more like she's not interested in the relationship any more. I know it's the usual advice but you need to have a grown up conversation with her.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

Then I think you're now platonic friends. It sounds as if you'd like to maintain a sexual relationship with her but the reality is she's closed that door. Shutting someone down when they try to talk to you makes it impossible to resolve the situation and means she's dictating the direction your relationship goes with no input from you. That's not fair whatever the reason she's doing it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm having same probs as why I'm on here since my wife's historrectomey she no longer enjoys sex and I respect that though I have a massive sex drive

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By *aughtystaffs60Couple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Mrs N has an underactive thyroid. I guess it's part of the menopause. Before she went to her GP her libido had diminished to nothing. She just wasn't feeling horny at all.

She's been on Thyroxine for over a year now and is feeling much better.

Luckily I am with someone that recognised there was a physical problem and went to their GP. It's still not what it was in her 40s and early 50s but it's bearable now and She is happier again as not feeling so tired all the time and finding it easier to keep the weight off which she feels made her unattractive.

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

Looks like you're both done. Doesn't want sex with you, and basically doesn’t want you in her company.

Go find someone who wants to be with you and enjoy yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we're still doing it at our age. Growing old disgracefully

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It's not great to be looking on here, behind her back no.

Please update that you're not single on your profile though and give others the choice to meet you knowing that, if you'd decide to meet here.

Personally I'd sit down with her and tell her you don't want to live without sex & how it's making you feel and ask if she will compromise and get it elsewhere discreetly.

If she says no, you have some thinking to do. Can you stay with her and cheat or is it time to leave the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

Why are you with her? What's the point of the relationship if it's only a couple of hours a week with no sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response.

Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? ** "

** You already have.

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By *anJenny 181Couple
over a year ago

Preston

It could possibly be due to the menopause or perimenopause & this can change or reduced sex drive.

Estrogen takes a nose dive can cause mood swings and we'll all kinds of issues

Seek medical advice on the issue please I don't know her age group but early menopause can start from around the age of 40 in some cases

These lady's may need hormone therapy to reduce the risk of osteoporosis and heart disease.

But proper heath care is the way forward in any case, well woman clinics etc, speak to your wife and seek help from your GP.

In the interim simply love her to bits, pamper her, massage her, spa at home nights, make her feel special, do it with no expectation of sex

It's also good to compliment her etc

There will be no short term reward for your actions but long term will put you in the good books, it's at this most difficult time that you need to be that supportive man she needs.

But my main advice is GP/healthcare & go from there

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It could possibly be due to the menopause or perimenopause & this can change or reduced sex drive.

Estrogen takes a nose dive can cause mood swings and we'll all kinds of issues

Seek medical advice on the issue please I don't know her age group but early menopause can start from around the age of 40 in some cases

These lady's may need hormone therapy to reduce the risk of osteoporosis and heart disease.

But proper heath care is the way forward in any case, well woman clinics etc, speak to your wife and seek help from your GP.

In the interim simply love her to bits, pamper her, massage her, spa at home nights, make her feel special, do it with no expectation of sex

It's also good to compliment her etc

There will be no short term reward for your actions but long term will put you in the good books, it's at this most difficult time that you need to be that supportive man she needs.

But my main advice is GP/healthcare & go from there

"

How's he going to do all that in the couple of hours he sees her?

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By *lossomTreeWoman
over a year ago

Ipswich

[Removed by poster at 23/12/23 15:39:49]

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By *lossomTreeWoman
over a year ago

Ipswich

If you are not fulfilled within the relationship physically OR emotionally, then you should really ask yourself why you are with her.

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By *I TwoCouple
over a year ago

PDI 12-26th Nov 24


"I have been with my partner for 7 years

....

would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? "

And yet you have verifications here going back 8 years

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile and veris contradict your thread OP.

If you’re not happy together and you want to live the life of a single guy then make the break.

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By *heSilverFox1701Man
over a year ago

Near Sleaford

Then just tell her you’d still like it and if it’s ok to look somewhere else. I mean… not unreasonable

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

That sounds like there’s more than a lack of interest in sex going on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May be getting it elsewhere....quite common especially with Internet.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Is it wrong - of course it is, that shouldn't be a question.

It's hard when there's differing sex drives, but you need to either day I have needs and will be looking elsewhere and be honest with her rather than lie and deceive.

Her lack of drive doesn't excuse your cheating, passing blame for poor behaviour is just wrong.

Be honest and come to a solution wheather that's remain together and you have your sexual meets elsewhere with her knowledge or do the decent thing and leave

Mrs

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"I have been with my partner for 7 years

....

would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here?

And yet you have verifications here going back 8 years "
.

My veris are from 2015 then stop until 2020 when problems started. I have not had any 1 to 1 contact in that time. Yes visited a club but spent most of my time in the sauna and jacuzzi. No contact at all.

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"Your profile and veris contradict your thread OP.

If you’re not happy together and you want to live the life of a single guy then make the break."

Veris are mainly pre 2015 and those since do not involve 1 to 1 at all. Visited a club out of curiosity and spent time in jacuzzi and sauna.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your profile and veris contradict your thread OP.

If you’re not happy together and you want to live the life of a single guy then make the break.

Veris are mainly pre 2015 and those since do not involve 1 to 1 at all. Visited a club out of curiosity and spent time in jacuzzi and sauna. "

Your profile still states you are a single guy and the green arrow makes interesting reading.

I’ll say it again, you’re contradicting yourself.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hi op

May be hormone related it happens but same time without judgement is your partner on here.... Talk to her understanding how she feels don't think just about sex she also a human a relationship isn't just about sex showing how much one may care about another talk on a level

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"Your profile and veris contradict your thread OP.

If you’re not happy together and you want to live the life of a single guy then make the break.

Veris are mainly pre 2015 and those since do not involve 1 to 1 at all. Visited a club out of curiosity and spent time in jacuzzi and sauna.

Your profile still states you are a single guy and the green arrow makes interesting reading.

I’ll say it again, you’re contradicting yourself."

As I say single guy from 2015. Green arrow shows what I have responded to! Yes been more active here recently but not yet been tempted by anyone.

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By *talianStallion2023Man
over a year ago

Hitchin

Time to pack up and leave old chum, do yourself a favour. I've been there and done this myself, there's no fixing things if they've gone off of you. You can hank me later. Put yourself first. Plenty more fish in the sea etc

Etc. Good luck.

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By *ixiekissesWoman
over a year ago

Happy place

Perhaps she is on here and seen your profile and forum posts.

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By *uietcountryboy69Man
over a year ago

nearby

maybe, she has just realised she doesnt want you anymore? thats a chat for another day , maybe , you should be nice to her

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By *uietcountryboy69Man
over a year ago

nearby

maybe, she has just realised she doesnt want you anymore? thats a chat for another day , maybe , you should be nice to her

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By *awty_TwoCouple
over a year ago

near Ashford, kent


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

But according to your verifications, you have gone behind her back and you have cheated, so maybe that’s the issue?

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By *awty_TwoCouple
over a year ago

near Ashford, kent


"It's not great to be looking on here, behind her back no.

Please update that you're not single on your profile though and give others the choice to meet you knowing that, if you'd decide to meet here.

Personally I'd sit down with her and tell her you don't want to live without sex & how it's making you feel and ask if she will compromise and get it elsewhere discreetly.

If she says no, you have some thinking to do. Can you stay with her and cheat or is it time to leave the relationship.

"

Agree

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England

Fill your boots; after all you have been on a swinging site for years and years. It's been so honourable of you to have just chatted and not taken it further so far. Although your verifications do paint a different picture. We can gloss over that.

You must have known this day was coming from when you set up your profile. You've been to clubs etc before, as recently as the last few years,so yes from her response what choice do you have? It's almost as if she's driven you to this point.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"Fill your boots; after all you have been on a swinging site for years and years. It's been so honourable of you to have just chatted and not taken it further so far. Although your verifications do paint a different picture. We can gloss over that.

You must have known this day was coming from when you set up your profile. You've been to clubs etc before, as recently as the last few years,so yes from her response what choice do you have? It's almost as if she's driven you to this point."

Absolutely this, you don’t really have a choice. She’s basically put a gun to your head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Your profile still states you are a single guy and the green arrow makes interesting reading.

I’ll say it again, you’re contradicting yourself.

As I say single guy from 2015. Green arrow shows what I have responded to! Yes been more active here recently but not yet been tempted by anyone. "

You can gloss it over any way you like.

You’ve been with your partner for seven years yet your profile states you’re a single guy.

You didn’t get a chance in all those years to change it?

You do you OP. Good luck, I think you’re going to need it.

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales

I have read all thats been said and yes maybe I have been cheating in some eyes. In my mind though, it was no different to watching porn as I never got close to full sexual contact. It has got to a point though where a change must come so have edited my profile and intend trying to have a long open chat with her. Whether she does her usual shrugging of shoulders and fobbing me off is another matter but at least I will try.

Thanks for all the comments. It has at least made me think carefully and given me other perspectives on my situation.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

That doesn’t sound like much of a partnership, if she’s shutting down conversations that are important to you. I think you might have bigger problems than lack of sex.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out.

That doesn’t sound like much of a partnership, if she’s shutting down conversations that are important to you. I think you might have bigger problems than lack of sex. "

I agree. If people shut down conversations about things that are obviously important to the person initiating them its because they know it'll be difficult and they're going to hear things that scare them or they don't like...or because they're just not bothered about how that person is feeling.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"I have read all thats been said and yes maybe I have been cheating in some eyes. In my mind though, it was no different to watching porn as I never got close to full sexual contact. "

Not meaning to be pedantic but you attended and joined in the fun during a gangbang; how can that be the same as just watching porn?

If your partner, or any in the future, had participated in a gangbang behind your back are we to assume that you'd be ok with that? I've read lots of these threads in that past and of course we only get one perspective of the relationship but they always have the same common theme as yours.

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"I have read all thats been said and yes maybe I have been cheating in some eyes. In my mind though, it was no different to watching porn as I never got close to full sexual contact.

Not meaning to be pedantic but you attended and joined in the fun during a gangbang; how can that be the same as just watching porn?

If your partner, or any in the future, had participated in a gangbang behind your back are we to assume that you'd be ok with that? I've read lots of these threads in that past and of course we only get one perspective of the relationship but they always have the same common theme as yours.

"

Gangbang? News to me. I attended a group meet but no personal contact at all!

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Cheat or leave.

It sounds to me like there's not much of a relationship left, so I personally wouldn't see any point in remaining with her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your partner doesn't want soemthing that is categorically important for you..??

Leave surely, you both aren't suited any more?

That or open the relationship on your end I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Frankly I think she is over your relationship and maybe you should be thinking that way too , it's tough but time to move on most of us have been there at some time .

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By *ustSomeDarkieMan
over a year ago

Salford


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? "

Easy answer say if you're not gonna care for my needs here then I'll get them seen to elsewhere.

Make it clear, its just physical no emotional connections

You'll make her aware of all it and come home when done.

I've done this and surprisingly her sex drive came back and other times I just did it and make it clear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here?

Easy answer say if you're not gonna care for my needs here then I'll get them seen to elsewhere.

Make it clear, its just physical no emotional connections

You'll make her aware of all it and come home when done.

I've done this and surprisingly her sex drive came back and other times I just did it and make it clear"

Vile.

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out.

That doesn’t sound like much of a partnership, if she’s shutting down conversations that are important to you. I think you might have bigger problems than lack of sex.

I agree. If people shut down conversations about things that are obviously important to the person initiating them its because they know it'll be difficult and they're going to hear things that scare them or they don't like...or because they're just not bothered about how that person is feeling. "

?? and makes the person trying to strike that conversation worthless

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here?

Easy answer say if you're not gonna care for my needs here then I'll get them seen to elsewhere.

Make it clear, its just physical no emotional connections

You'll make her aware of all it and come home when done.

I've done this and surprisingly her sex drive came back and other times I just did it and make it clear

Vile. "

Yes. That option is totally unacceptable to me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out.

That doesn’t sound like much of a partnership, if she’s shutting down conversations that are important to you. I think you might have bigger problems than lack of sex.

I agree. If people shut down conversations about things that are obviously important to the person initiating them its because they know it'll be difficult and they're going to hear things that scare them or they don't like...or because they're just not bothered about how that person is feeling.

?? and makes the person trying to strike that conversation worthless "

Yes because the message is that your feelings are not as important as theirs. A relationship won't reach it's full potential without difficult conversations and that's sad

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea


"I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

Seems to me that this relaionship has run it's course and is all but over.

If she doesn't want to talk and cuts you out when you see her, what do the two of you actually do in the few hours per week that you see her.

Seems to me that she's trying to give you signals that she's not interested in ou anymore but doesn't want to be the one to end it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your asking advise on if you should be shagging behind her back?

Or tell her your doing it, because she doesn't want to and as a human male you have needs?

The latter

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By *eeling0880Man
over a year ago

Pennines

Short out your situation first one way or the other. Less people will get hurt. When you’re single then do as you please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The recent verification states that you “did your part in keeping the lady satisfied” at a recent gangbang. I’m not really sure why your thread is so contradictory to your profile, but I don’t think you can say “that option is totally unacceptable to me” in regards to the suggestion you should tell your partner you intend to get sexual satisfaction elsewhere… when you already have?

Or is the honesty the unacceptable part?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

We need to communicate in a relationship, or we're like strangers in passing. You have to consistently express your need to do this, even just to lay the groundwork, before the day when you both get the chance to know each other. She may be depressed, frightened, etc but your willingness to hear her and become more intimate emotionally, is a better way to continue or end a relationship

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By *ink vixenCouple
over a year ago

Medway

Strange you would say that.

She has quite an active profile on here and claims her partner has no game.

Isn’t life odd?

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

tamworth

Is it that her interest in sex is lowered or is it that her interest in sex with you had lowered?

I think alot of people confuse the two. Consider what kind of effort you're putting into her. Maybe instead of being on here, you convert that scrolling time and put more into her?

Sexual therapy? Couples counselling? Have tou tried either of those?

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"The recent verification states that you “did your part in keeping the lady satisfied” at a recent gangbang. I’m not really sure why your thread is so contradictory to your profile, but I don’t think you can say “that option is totally unacceptable to me” in regards to the suggestion you should tell your partner you intend to get sexual satisfaction elsewhere… when you already have?

Or is the honesty the unacceptable part? "

For your infornation, it was not a gang bang!

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham


"The recent verification states that you “did your part in keeping the lady satisfied” at a recent gangbang. I’m not really sure why your thread is so contradictory to your profile, but I don’t think you can say “that option is totally unacceptable to me” in regards to the suggestion you should tell your partner you intend to get sexual satisfaction elsewhere… when you already have?

Or is the honesty the unacceptable part?

For your infornation, it was not a gang bang! "

No, it was bukkake, but…does that make a difference? It’s still an intimate sexual act and participating in fulfilling another woman sexually

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"The recent verification states that you “did your part in keeping the lady satisfied” at a recent gangbang. I’m not really sure why your thread is so contradictory to your profile, but I don’t think you can say “that option is totally unacceptable to me” in regards to the suggestion you should tell your partner you intend to get sexual satisfaction elsewhere… when you already have?

Or is the honesty the unacceptable part?

For your infornation, it was not a gang bang!

No, it was bukkake, but…does that make a difference? It’s still an intimate sexual act and participating in fulfilling another woman sexually

"

There was no contact whatsoever.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"

There was no contact whatsoever."

That makes it ok then. You are going to justify your actions regardless.

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By *XSnoopy72XXMan
over a year ago

snaith/kettering


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? "

Yes a Big Yes its wrong if you feel you need to get it else were then become a single man and not a serial cheater just my thoughts

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By *ayd100Man
over a year ago

clitheroe

Leave guilt at the door and enjoy yourself

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

When married and going through an extended 'dry spell', I asked my wife if sex was important in our relationship, she said 'no not really', so I said 'well it doesn't matter if I get it somewhere else then'. She said 'now that you've put it like that, yes I suppose it is', so said, 'we'll why don't we have it more often then?' She took me upstairs and we had rampant sex. (It didn't last though - the revitalised sex life, or the marriage).

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria


"The recent verification states that you “did your part in keeping the lady satisfied” at a recent gangbang. I’m not really sure why your thread is so contradictory to your profile, but I don’t think you can say “that option is totally unacceptable to me” in regards to the suggestion you should tell your partner you intend to get sexual satisfaction elsewhere… when you already have?

Or is the honesty the unacceptable part?

For your infornation, it was not a gang bang!

No, it was bukkake, but…does that make a difference? It’s still an intimate sexual act and participating in fulfilling another woman sexually

There was no contact whatsoever."

Ah, so wanking and literally shooting your load over a woman was definitely not cheating then?

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull


"That's rough - especially the unilateral "shouldn't be doing it at our age" bit. That's asking for trouble, I'd say. I have a similar situation but carte blanche to deal with it as I see fit.

I've no doubt that Fabs will be offering its collective "wisdom"."

we hate this from single guys, no wonder most couples are always cautious when guys contact them. Have you asked her, maybe she knows you on here?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever


"The recent verification states that you “did your part in keeping the lady satisfied” at a recent gangbang. I’m not really sure why your thread is so contradictory to your profile, but I don’t think you can say “that option is totally unacceptable to me” in regards to the suggestion you should tell your partner you intend to get sexual satisfaction elsewhere… when you already have?

Or is the honesty the unacceptable part?

For your infornation, it was not a gang bang!

No, it was bukkake, but…does that make a difference? It’s still an intimate sexual act and participating in fulfilling another woman sexually

There was no contact whatsoever."

Wow, just wow.

So glad I stumbled on this post. Great reminder why I chose to stay single forever.

Sorry OP, I have no more of a constructive feedback.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop thinking about her and start thinking about yourself. You are clearly in a situation that doesn't work for you so go for a clean break and leave her. It's going to be more honest that way. Not easy for either of you, but a lot more manageable from the point of view of your own emotional well-being.

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By *adtaffladMan
over a year ago

Rhyl

It's a difficult situation and I'm in the same boat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? "

This is why you shouldn't judge married people on here.

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By *oss.ossMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

[Removed by poster at 09/01/24 16:30:00]

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By *oss.ossMan
over a year ago

Willenhall

I'm in exactly same situation. Wife post hysterectomy. Sex now every 4-6 weeks and very vanilla. Almost like it's just enough to keep the spark alive. It's killing me so I try remove the need by keeping my balls empty but I can only do so much DIY emptying. Frequently use fab cams or porn to assist. Haven't played away though. Hasn't come to that yet. Besides, never had an offer to anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? "

In exactly the same position although been together for 27 years and she won’t even discuss sex, simply rolls her eyes. Last time I raised the subject she simply replied “I know, I know. Sex doesn’t even cross my mind”.

It can be a lonely and frustrating place to be. It’s why I’m on here. Very much doubt I could meet anyone but just chatting with others is a distraction and has helped.

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By *aveandSue1Couple
over a year ago

Doncaster

Sounds menopause related. Happens to about 40/50% of women. Sex drive just disappears due to hormone changes.

Veey best of luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been with my partner for 7 years and for first 4 sex was amazing, so much so that I stopped looking on here having joined when single.

However her sex drive has gradually gone lower and lower and I find myself looking more on here. It reached a peak today when she actually said we should no longer be doing it at our age!

I have tried to speak to her many times about how I feel but no response. Has anyone else come across this and would it be really wrong gor me to try and hook up on here? "

From experience. I wouldn't drag it out. Leave. She will end up finding it from somewhere or she's settled for what you provide her... Either way...

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By *ky ParlourCouple
over a year ago

Derby

Seeing some for a few hours a week is not a relationship ! There’s your answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

For your infornation, it was not a gang bang!

No, it was bukkake, but…does that make a difference? It’s still an intimate sexual act and participating in fulfilling another woman sexually

There was no contact whatsoever.

Wow, just wow.

So glad I stumbled on this post. Great reminder why I chose to stay single forever.

Sorry OP, I have no more of a constructive feedback."

You echoed my thoughts exactly - very glad to remain single in a world where a man can post on a public forum looking for sympathy in his pursuit of cheating (since apparently engaging in a bukkake gangbang is somehow not cheating) and a load of other attached guys will give the “woe is me” in the comments beneath.

OP, cheat if you want, it’s your life (psst - you already have, hate to break it to you but your cum splattering on another woman’s face does indeed count as contact). But I can never quite understand why people make these posts and then get defensive against the backlash.

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By *elshman52 OP   Man
over a year ago

North Wales


"

For your infornation, it was not a gang bang!

No, it was bukkake, but…does that make a difference? It’s still an intimate sexual act and participating in fulfilling another woman sexually

There was no contact whatsoever.

Wow, just wow.

So glad I stumbled on this post. Great reminder why I chose to stay single forever.

Sorry OP, I have no more of a constructive feedback.

You echoed my thoughts exactly - very glad to remain single in a world where a man can post on a public forum looking for sympathy in his pursuit of cheating (since apparently engaging in a bukkake gangbang is somehow not cheating) and a load of other attached guys will give the “woe is me” in the comments beneath.

OP, cheat if you want, it’s your life (psst - you already have, hate to break it to you but your cum splattering on another woman’s face does indeed count as contact). But I can never quite understand why people make these posts and then get defensive against the backlash. "

I agree I have cheated but in mu mind tried to cover it by convincing myself it was not direct intimate contact. Time to move on I think. Innthe end, honesty is the best policy.

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By *o scandalousWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I think you should do what's best for your relationship and for yourself. It's not down to me to tell you what's wrong or right but if you're hoping to get permission to go behind her back you're unlikely to on here.

In an ideal world you'd be able to come to a mutually acceptable agreement but that seems unlikely if you've reached a point where she's including you in her belief that sex stops after a certain age.

That is the problem. I dont want to go behind her back. Its not in me. Tried a couple of cam sessions but felt guilty afterwards. At the time, I thought if its not 1 to 1 and/or in person, its not really cheating - who was I kidding as it all felt so wrong.

I am in a very difficult position as I dont live with her and barely see her more than a few hours a week. When I do, she doesnt want to talk and just cuts me out. "

Oh OP. You are between a rock and a hard place.

If you are here though and she doesn’t know about here, then it is cheating to a degree. I think the low sex drive could be down to a miriad of things, lack of confidence, maybe or are you paying her compliments and giving her attention.

It sounds like she’s giving you an easy ‘out’ but it could be to see how deep your feelings are for her.

Good luck OP.

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