FabSwingers.com forum: Stigma about men into sub fun?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

(Before I start when I say sub fun I don't mean things like strapons, humilation, pain etc. I mean scenarios where a woman takes the lead and is in control but it's still sensual and sexy).

To start, I've led a fairly vanilla life before joining Fab. I joined because I'd like to explore and have fun with other liberated people.

A few of the many things I'd like to explore put me in the position of being submissive. (I don't label myself as 'sub' as I'm interested in things where I am in control too)

I feel there's a bit of a sitgma attached to this? If I say I'm into these things on my profile I'm either prejudged as a timewaster, or it attacts pro-dommes (which I'm not interested in, see above).

How can someone like me explore this? I know people will say 'go to events/munches' but those skew more towards the BDSM side of this which I have no interest in.

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By *electableicecreamMan
over a year ago

The West

I've honestly never come across this stigma on fab.

I'm not into BDSM nor am I a card carrying Dom or Sub but I do enjoy role play in both roles.

I wouldn't have any worries about being honest and clear about that.

You want to find people that are compatible so it's always good to be upfront.

I tried to make my bio reflect the kind of vibe I'm into without using particular words like Dom or Sub which can carry very particular meanings for those into the kink lifestyle.

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By *ostindreamsMan
over a year ago

London

I don't think it's stigma or you are being judged. I am submissive and I have explored the scene for a few years now. The reality is that not many women are looking for submissive men. But there are plenty of submissive men.

Also, specifically on fab, most couples are here to explore having sex with others. BDSM itself is very niche. Femdom is much less common.

Your only choice is to go to kink munches and femdom parties. If you really feel the urge, hire a pro domme

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"(Before I start when I say sub fun I don't mean things like strapons, humilation, pain etc. I mean scenarios where a woman takes the lead and is in control but it's still sensual and sexy).

To start, I've led a fairly vanilla life before joining Fab. I joined because I'd like to explore and have fun with other liberated people.

A few of the many things I'd like to explore put me in the position of being submissive. (I don't label myself as 'sub' as I'm interested in things where I am in control too)

How can someone like me explore this? I know people will say 'go to events/munches' but those skew more towards the BDSM side of this which I have no interest in."

I have met quite a few men that like this type of thing. I don't think there is a stigma as such but there are obviously people that don't engage this way.

It's just about finding the right people.

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

" I mean scenarios where a woman takes the lead and is in control but it's still sensual and sexy)."

So you're just lazy?

Most people have an image of sub-men that isn't you, so I'd suggest you rephrase things.

Why not just say something like "I'm really into confident, sexy women who know what they want, and aren't afraid to ask for it"?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

There's nothing wrong with submissive men. The problem here is more to do with the endless sea of do me subs and people who treat Dommes as fetish dispensers.

If all you want is a woman to take charge in the bedroom, you're not looking for a Domme. Just a woman who knows what she wants and had the confidence to take the lead.

I'd recommend avoiding using the term submissive for yourself unless you're looking to actually take that role. It doesn't sound like that's what you want at all OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said, there's a vast difference between sub/dom and just wanting someone who's confident and knows what they want.

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By *oupleSouthEast69Couple
over a year ago

brighton

It's not stigma, it's just that most kinky women are submissive rather than dominant. Kinky dominant women exist but they are less available.

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By *hastityPleasureGiverMan
over a year ago

Rotherham

As previously mentioned i don't think there is a stima with sub men, just very few Domme females around. I'm a sub man and two of my previous gf were also submissive or solution was cuckold and Dom build took for care of my gfs for me in ways I could not. When single I have had long fwb where we had a similar arrangement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No Stigma, I am unashamed to say that I love been dominated by women. X

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

As others have already said, there’s a very big difference between wanting a woman who knows what she likes, and wanting to submit to a dominant woman.

Either way there will be people who really like a man who is not afraid to let go and not be in control, there are others who won’t care, there are still more for whom you won’t be there cup of tea, and there will be others who will look down on you and talk about that whole real man nonsense.

You be you and don’t worry about what others think, there are people out there for you, hopefully you will find them.

Mr DD

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