FabSwingers.com forum: Why people read but don’t reply

By *aughtyYoungGent OP Man
over a year ago

Hampshire

Hi people just wondering why I send a message which is decently Leangthy and they just read it and not reply like I’m in the age gap there looking for and it’s no luck like idk if there is something wrong with my profile.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

People read then not reply because your not what they looking for usually, and with due respect, try spell checking what you type, we all make errors but your profile and this posting does leave a bit to be desired

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By *rincess1988Woman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"Hi people just wondering why I send a message which is decently Leangthy and they just read it and not reply like I’m in the age gap there looking for and it’s no luck like idk if there is something wrong with my profile."

Because no one owes you a response. And just because you are in someone’s age bracket doesn’t mean you’re their type either.

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

No reply is no thank you.

It can be kinder than writing a rejection message. Especially when you don't know if the person is going to respond nastily.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

A lot of people read profiles before they read a message. If they see a red flag they don't even open the message.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

There's nothing wrong with you or your profile, it's the nature of fab that many of your messages will go unanswered.

The FAQ state that no reply means someone isn't interested. I get that it's quite disheartening but you won't change it so if you can accept it you might feel better about it.

Good luck

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By *aughtyYoungGent OP Man
over a year ago

Hampshire

[Removed by poster at 15/11/23 15:17:45]

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By *aughtyYoungGent OP Man
over a year ago

Hampshire

Thanks all for replying back as you can I’m new and still learning.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

The length of the message isn't that important long as it's a decent amount and catches their own interests and you are what they are interested in and is some attraction which is important to some but not everyone

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

Im not speaking for others, but rarely ever never replied to a message.Even to say No thanks.

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

Often I’ll read a message and then mark it unread so that Lily knows it needs her attention.

It can sometimes take her 2-3 days to get round to reading the message.

We’ve found in this time that guys can get upset, send rude messages because we’ve not replied, or even block us.

Most annoying as if I mark it as unread it actually means we’re interested but just busy.

- John

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

When you say you're in the age gap they're looking for, do you mean you can actually message them, as not everyone uses filters . Or do you mean that they're actually looking to meet a 20 year old?.

I use filters as I wouldn't meet anyone under 35 ish & many people on here will have children your age or older..

You can't help your age op, but it will stop many women and couples from choosing to meet you.

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By *ilverfox for youMan
over a year ago

Hull

People are just window shopping .don’t get bothered by it

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By *aughtyYoungGent OP Man
over a year ago

Hampshire

Yeah there filter 18-45 for example correct

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t over think it just move on.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

They want decently lengthy, just not your message.

You could improve your pictures too.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

As others have said no reply = not interested.

Another reason is if someone replies to you then later changes their message filters to one that would block you those filters would not work as they have messaged you before.

For example, if I sent a reply to every man who messaged me today then I tomorrow I decide to block single men, all those who I've replied to today don't get filtered out and can message me again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As others have said no reply = not interested.

Another reason is if someone replies to you then later changes their message filters to one that would block you those filters would not work as they have messaged you before.

For example, if I sent a reply to every man who messaged me today then I tomorrow I decide to block single men, all those who I've replied to today don't get filtered out and can message me again. "

We didn’t realise this when we first joined so we’ve had to block repeat offenders when our message filters are one.

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

We tend to reply to all messages but sometimes have to resort to a cut and paste respose when the message volume gets out of hand.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Because they're not interested. Simple as that.

You may think that you tick all of their boxes as far as any requirements, criteria or interests goes, but if they just don't fancy you, it doesn't really matter what you've put in your message.

Look at it another way though, at least they got as far as opening your message. Many don't even get that far.

Rather than worry about it, focus on those who might be interested

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By *aughtyYoungGent OP Man
over a year ago

Hampshire

Ok everyone thanks for the reply’s but I now understand no reply = not interested

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Ok everyone thanks for the reply’s but I now understand no reply = not interested "

Remember not for everyone as people get busy then receive more messages which in turn pushes yours further down. So at times it's just a learning curve whereas someone might change their mind at a later date.

So if you choose to ignore a read message and don't block or don't send repeated messages. Let it come to you

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

No reply is a response, do you reply to unsolicited junk mail that comes through your letterbox.

You’ve only been on a few weeks just lower your expectations and see where it leads

Have fun enjoy the chase but don’t let it get you down if like hundreds it’s not what you expected

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

No reply is a response, do you reply to unsolicited junk mail that comes through your letterbox.

You’ve only been on a few weeks just lower your expectations and see where it leads

Have fun enjoy the chase but don’t let it get you down if like hundreds it’s not what you expected "

Junk mail via the post doesn't get any pussy

saying that even the important mail doesn't provide pussy

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

"Ok everyone thanks for the reply’s but I now understand no reply = not interested "

To be fair, you'd have already known this if you'd familiarised yourself with the site FAQs

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By *cGeo38Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Maybe keep it short and dont bother trying to start a convo yr best justtting down to what you want SEEEEEEEXXXX

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

If you send a face pic... They don't fancy you... If you don't... Maybe you should've... Or its obvious you didn't read their profile... But just assume they aren't interested and move on

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By *ung nine inchMan
over a year ago

leeds

We try reply to all messages

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Decently lengthy?

Surely the length varies depending on what drew you to contacting them in the first place?

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

It's the nature of the game. Take it as a no and move on

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By *apnDomMan
over a year ago

London | Belfast

If they ignore you, then that's that: Ignoring. Definitely doesn't mean they are interested.

You will have to get used to that, because a "not interested" is too much to ask for around here. They all pretend like you fly off the handle and will write nasty threats as replies.

So, you will only hear back if they are interested.

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

tf1

"If they ignore you, then that's that: Ignoring. Definitely doesn't mean they are interested.

You will have to get used to that, because a "not interested" is too much to ask for around here. They all pretend like you fly off the handle and will write nasty threats as replies.

So, you will only hear back if they are interested. "

We pretend that we get nasty threats??? What so that’s a lie is it.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"If they ignore you, then that's that: Ignoring. Definitely doesn't mean they are interested.

You will have to get used to that, because a "not interested" is too much to ask for around here. They all pretend like you fly off the handle and will write nasty threats as replies.

So, you will only hear back if they are interested. "

As I have previously stated on this thread there is a legitimate reason to not reply.

I want my filters to work when I put them up. I'm not stopping them from working by replying to everyone I'm not interested in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they ignore you, then that's that: Ignoring. Definitely doesn't mean they are interested.

You will have to get used to that, because a "not interested" is too much to ask for around here. They all pretend like you fly off the handle and will write nasty threats as replies.

So, you will only hear back if they are interested.

We pretend that we get nasty threats??? What so that’s a lie is it.

We can confirm nasty treats happen

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By *tephanie63Woman
over a year ago

BRIDGWATER

They may not have actually read the message, just opened it.

If they haven't blocked you, they could possibly get back to you at a later date.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

It really helps not to over think it or let it get to you. I get people are disappointed when they don't get a response after putting in (in their opinion) a good well drafted message. However we all have busy lives and no one is owed a reply for an unsolicited message.

Best thing is assume a no thanks and move on. If at a later date they get back then that's a bonus. They may have just put you on the back burner. Personally speaking we are very poor at getting back to people. It's not unknown for us to read a message and not reply for a while. And like everyone else we don't always feel like reply to a message for the reasons above.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

Hi OP, it’s been mentioned a several times that once you sent the messages, it’s good to delete them from “sent” folder.

Then it takes away the worry if read/not read/deleted/whatever and every response is a nice surprise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I like your question it shows a level of vulnerability and accountability. So good on you.

Many have already said, it’s the nature of the beast, try not to take it personally; move on.

However; you can up your likelihood of messages/responses ratio, by doing several things.

Your profile; whilst vulnerable is a little too vulnerable. It has a little whiff of desperation. Not too much, but walks the reader down the line of they have to do the work, but With some minor tweaks and little bit of owning it and being bold, more alpha shall we say; that would help sell the fact you’re there to partake and maybe in part lead; everyone has to fake it sometimes, to some degree, but tailor some stuff out, and play to your desires and strengths. Don’t go too far but lean in to the things you know are good attributes.

It’s also maybe a little long for what it says, but I like the transparency and vulnerability of it, that you’re offering something of yourself.

However, again I would in my opinion make it shorter, more concise to what you bring to a meet up. Smart, high energy, young, high stamina, well presented, coffee first…club buddy, etc… you get the point.

In terms of messages, read every profile before you message, understand their do’s & dont’s. Understand their expectations and balance that with yours. Is sending a message to this person correct? Have you used their key word, in the message that shows you’ve read and understood the profile.

Or are you scattter gunning?

Be targeted in your response, be specific to the person you’re talking to. Tell them what about their profile compelled you to message THEM! Then maybe share some Details about you.

I’ve always found sharing a face pic with a smiley face, joyful without a cock in it, works. It’s disarming and most likely leans in to your true nature. People love a smiley face.

I’m happy to help if you wish to message me privately. Best of luck fabbing, and keep safe and well.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

nothing you can do to make anyone sexually atrracted to yourself its either there or its not so all the advice in the world wont help all it will do is make you copy others ..just be you be honest and im not going to lie its extremely hard for guys it alway have been and only gets worse year after year as 100s more guys flood in thinking its a free sex site ... if you want to swing then you have a tiny tiny chance once your foot is on the ladder it may and i mean may get easier ... if your here looking to just empty your balls then your have zero chance..

100 men to every woman in some areas alot more .. advice does not work it just makes you be like others stand out by being you and by being you your giving people a chane to know you rather than what someone else have told you to do....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nothing you can do to make anyone sexually atrracted to yourself its either there or its not so all the advice in the world wont help all it will do is make you copy others ..just be you be honest and im not going to lie its extremely hard for guys it alway have been and only gets worse year after year as 100s more guys flood in thinking its a free sex site ... if you want to swing then you have a tiny tiny chance once your foot is on the ladder it may and i mean may get easier ... if your here looking to just empty your balls then your have zero chance..

This 100%

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

Its best not to message anyone since people ignore them purposely

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By *teveuk77Man
over a year ago

"People read then not reply because your not what they looking for usually, and with due respect, try spell checking what you type, we all make errors but your profile and this posting does leave a bit to be desired"

How rude. You have no idea why this person's message or profile leave "a bit to be desired". Do you really think that it is just laziness and a spell checker will fix everything?

BTW, it's "you're" and not "YOUR" ! Maybe proof read before you send especially in this situation...

Maybe a full stop or two would make your post more readable too.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
over a year ago

Bristol/ Daventry

Hi, I like your question it shows a level of vulnerability and accountability. So good on you.

Many have already said, it’s the nature of the beast, try not to take it personally; move on.

However; you can up your likelihood of messages/responses ratio, by doing several things.

It’s also maybe a little long for what it says, but I like the transparency and vulnerability of it, that you’re offering something of yourself.

Or are you scattter gunning?

Be targeted in your response, be specific to the person you’re talking to. Tell them what about their profile compelled you to message THEM! Then maybe share some Details about you.

I’ve always found sharing a face pic with a smiley face, joyful without a cock in it, works. It’s disarming and most likely leans in to your true nature. People love a smiley face.

I’m happy to help if you wish to message me privately. Best of luck fabbing, and keep safe and well. "

Wow this is some excellent advice. It’s good to see positivity with some practical steps on today’s forum. FoxyJ’s post is also excellent. Let’s hope more people see this thread and take value from it.

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