FabSwingers.com forum: Etiquette on sending a second message?

By *enk15 OP Man
over a year ago

Evesham

... if the first message went unread and a few months have passed.

Should I assume the message was intentionally left unread and not message again.

Send a second message on the chance the first was lost in the sea of a busy inbox?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I'm guessing to a woman.

In which case yes, you're probably lost in a sea of messages and most likely, so will your second message.

In the rare occasion I have multiple unreads, I look through the profiles first, if that's the case then you've already been vetted so don't be pushy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just message again. Some will be mad and some will ignore and some will reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Contrary to the myth not all women get 100s of messages if i dont reply or leave it unread it means am not interest and if i get a 2nd message i usually block the person, if a person is interested they will reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allanddark999Couple
over a year ago

Weybridge

"Contrary to the myth not all women get 100s of messages if i dont reply or leave it unread it means am not interest and if i get a 2nd message i usually block the person, if a person is interested they will reply."

If you leave it unread, the person doesn't know your not interested though. Why not just delete and then everyone knows where they stand? We're new here but this one thing is annoying to us.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I leave unread when not interested as I've looked at the profile. I will block if I receive a second message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

If its a few months ago I'd say it's 0k to message again.

It could have been missed, they might not have been in the mooeld when you sent it etc.

If you re send and get no reply, I'd leave it and block them then as there's no interest on their part.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winging Sally SeanCouple
over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

If you leave it unread, the person doesn't know your not interested though. Why not just delete and then everyone knows where they stand? We're new here but this one thing is annoying to us. "

This will likely be answered as 'site rules'...

There are no such rules.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winging Sally SeanCouple
over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

"... if the first message went unread and a few months have passed.

Should I assume the message was intentionally left unread and not message again.

Send a second message on the chance the first was lost in the sea of a busy inbox?

The absolute worst that can happen is they block you. Not being able to see the profile of someone who isn't interested, shouldn't be seen as a bad thing. So send a second message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enk15 OP Man
over a year ago

Evesham

Thanks all for the input

Bit of a mix but think I’ll try one more message and leave it at that.

Thanks all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nytime2023Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Possibly a bit late to the thread but as a general rule we wouldn’t send a second message. We simply don’t have time to reply to everyone so when we receive a message we look at their profile/picture/message content and only reply if they are potentials. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enk15 OP Man
over a year ago

Evesham

"Possibly a bit late to the thread but as a general rule we wouldn’t send a second message. We simply don’t have time to reply to everyone so when we receive a message we look at their profile/picture/message content and only reply if they are potentials. X"

Thanks for the input. Normally I wouldn’t either, but this person expressed interest in messaging me a while ago but never did, so I messaged first and it went unread.

Chances are they changed their mind but a little voice is nagging at me “but what if they just didn’t see it?”

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nytime2023Couple
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

Then go for it, as others have said the worst they can do is block. Happy hunting

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

If you leave it unread, the person doesn't know your not interested though. Why not just delete and then everyone knows where they stand? We're new here but this one thing is annoying to us. "

Unread messages also just get deleted by fab after like 3 weeks or something.

It's absolutely impossible to reply to new messages aswell as continuing conversations with people you're interested in. We calculated it and if we just spent 5 mins on every message so reading, crafting a reply and factoring a quick snope at their profile, we'd be using all our available/free time doing so until January next year (yay maths lol). Literally noone has time for that.

If it goes unread, the assumption is they didn't read it either due to gab deleting it or it got lost in the sea or they're not interested. A second message will give you an answer either way or you can just move on regardless, it's nothing to be annoyed about

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... if the first message went unread and a few months have passed.

Should I assume the message was intentionally left unread and not message again.

Send a second message on the chance the first was lost in the sea of a busy inbox?

There is another post called STOP THINK which is exactly what you're asking, have a look for more advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I block people if they double message after I didn’t reply the first time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you leave it unread, the person doesn't know your not interested though. Why not just delete and then everyone knows where they stand? We're new here but this one thing is annoying to us. "

Coz it my inbox and can do with it how i please, if i was interesed id reply to the message.

Just dont look at ur sent messages then ul never know if they have read it or not, if you get a reply then its all good if not move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

i also block those who send a second message after the first not being answered ..

but it noy often a message sits as i sort them daily keeping the ones who have profiles that i think mmm ok and mass delete the rest ...i alway look at profile before opening the message and since 99% of men have really shit profiles or theres no attraction then 99% get mass deleted

block is the best tool on fab

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean if a couple of months have passed then try again but don't be surprised if you get blocked as some will.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

A second message is fine a good while down the line. One, it may have been genuinely missed. Two, with a fresh set of eyes they maybe be intrested. Three, your timing (unbeknown to you) may have been bad (for various reasons to do with what's going on in their world). As a single guy on here I had a couple of meets and a few back n forth interactions that were off the back of a second messages sent a month or two later after the initial message was ignored.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"A second message is fine a good while down the line. One, it may have been genuinely missed. Two, with a fresh set of eyes they maybe be intrested. Three, your timing (unbeknown to you) may have been bad (for various reasons to do with what's going on in their world). As a single guy on here I had a couple of meets and a few back n forth interactions that were off the back of a second messages sent a month or two later after the initial message was ignored.

Exactly this! I've had the same experience including meeting my current swinging partner on second or maybe even third message. The first one she had read but got lost in the sea of many others and wasn't in the mood to chat or meet anybody.

You've really got nothing to lose from sending another message and fine as long as it's polite. Worse case you get blocked but so what.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"... if the first message went unread and a few months have passed.

Should I assume the message was intentionally left unread and not message again.

Send a second message on the chance the first was lost in the sea of a busy inbox?

Simple rule on fab if you send a message and you don’t get one back regardless of whether it’s been read, deleted or unread - they’re not interested.

Makes no difference if it’s a single fem with a massive inbox, if they’re interested in meeting and meeting/chatting with you they will reply.

Too many on here for attention only/fabs and have no intention of chatting/meeting so I wouldn’t waste your energy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

Simple rule on fab if you send a message and you don’t get one back regardless of whether it’s been read, deleted or unread - they’re not interested.

Makes no difference if it’s a single fem with a massive inbox, if they’re interested in meeting and meeting/chatting with you they will reply.

Yes but things change. That should say "they're not interested AT THAT MOMENT IN TIME". Met so many people after sending or receiving one message that went nowhere.

I've given my example above of how I met my partner after more than one message. Another example....

Lady puts up a meet today during the day. I send a message she reads. She is flooded with maybe 100 messages. She can't reply and check all of them. She chats a few and realises most are idiots or dreamers and can't really meet within the next few hours. She is still looking and messages keep coming and my original message has slipped down the list. I send another message saying amongst other things "you've probably got a lot of messages from many who can't meet - I'm free in the next couple of hours and located in xxx just 15 minutes". Now got her attention after she has chatted to the idiot dreamers. Start chatting and meet an hour or two later. It has happened to me.

The advice not message a second time is not good advice for sensible men who actually want to meet and can be respectful. Similar sorts of experience as a couple chatting to couples as well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Send as you like.

Some will be ok, some will block you. No big deal either way.

If I’m interested, I’ll reply.

But I’d just delete a second message again or block you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Send as you like.

Some will be ok, some will block you. No big deal either way.

If I’m interested, I’ll reply.

But I’d just delete a second message again or block you. "

This is the only way, people saying do or don't doesn't matter, the only.one that matters is the person at the receiving end, how they deal with it is up to them.

Everyone on this thread is only an opinion for them at the time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

forget it , they should message you Stud ???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread